Gold Medal Treatment

I’m sure you’ve all heard the news by now coming from the Olympic world.

Simone Biles is probably one of the most recognized and celebrated Olympic athletes in the world today and a true mental health warrior in my eyes.

I one thousand percent support and admire Simone’s decision to step away from the podium for now in order to focus on her mental well-being but her decision to do so has been met with so much ridicule by the naysayers who are sitting on their butts, most likely from the comfort of their couch, hidden behind their smartphone screens, tweeting out and calling her a quitter or worse.

It brings us right back to the same place we keep ending up because had Simone broken her ankle during her Olympic performance we would not be having this conversation and instead we would all be empathizing with her and cheering her on as she rehabilitated and got back to the vault. But taking a step back to focus on her mental health never seems to be a good enough reason to the naysayers.

Mental illness and PTSD can creep up on you ever so slowly and often out of nowhere. She deserves to be recognized for her strength and courage and not criticized and judged.

You don’t get to the level that Simone Biles has without being mentally tough. She is far from a quitter. She is taking care of her mental wellness and that makes her worthy of an Olympic gold medal in my eyes.

And when she returns, and I believe she will, she will show all those naysayers sitting on their butts from the comfort of their couch what it takes to be a real winner.

Many people may not fully realize or ever truly understand the trauma and possible triggers (including performing in the Olympics) that Simone has had to overcome being that she was one of MANY young athletes who suffered YEARS and YEARS of sexual abuse at the hands of their “trusted” Olympic Team Doctor “Larry Nassar” who is now thankfully serving a prison sentence of over 100 years for his crimes.

Mental illness and PTSD are both VERY real and VERY serious. If she is not mentally strong enough to be able to focus on her performance then she could most definitely hurt herself physically and possibly destroy everything.

Self-care is mental wellness and it doesn’t matter if you can’t physically see her injury; it still matters, even more.

Sadly though, we live in a world where people judge others on how much money they have, what kind of career path they choose, how big the house is that they live in, how smart they are and even by the amount of medals they may have sitting on their shelf.

But what if for just one second we all took a “step back” and focused on a world where people didn’t see it that way and instead only cared that you are happy, healthy and kind.

Don’t we all deserve that kind of gold medal treatment?

#olympian #tokyoolympics #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #ptsd #endthestigmatogether #goldmedaltreatment #mentalwellness #strongertogether #usaolympian #gymnastics #kindnessmatters #itsoktonotbeok #bekindtoyourself #youareenough #selfcare #yourmentalhealthmatters #sexualabuse #selflove #mindfulness #youarenotalone @simonebiles

A Magic Carpet Hike

Rich made a promise to me 26 (plus) years ago that he would take me on a magic carpet ride as we danced to our first song as husband and wife on our wedding day.

Today, on International Self-Care Day we hiked a section of the Oakridges Moraine called Jefferson Climb: Magic Carpet Ride, Upper Ridge Trail.

As we were hiking the trail I began to quietly sing the lyrics to our wedding song “A Whole New World” in my head (I wouldn’t dare sing out loud as we may have become prey to some dangerous wildlife species 🐻).

As soon as we got back to our car (without getting lost this time) I played the song for Rich on my phone (there may have been some tears in the mix).

This song had a great deal of meaning to the both of us when it came time for choosing our wedding song. After all, we started dating while working together in a video store, we both loved Disney movies and Aladdin had quickly become among one of our favourites that we’d watched many times together during our courtship (and we were also first in line to see the live action version when it was released to theaters a couple of years ago; hmmm when I think about it now that may have actually been the last movie we saw in a theater!).

The song has become our anthem and as we hiked the “Magic Carpet Ride” trail today and as I quietly chanted the lyrics to myself and then replayed it for Rich on our car ride home I heard a whole new and even more meaningful version of the song this time.

It may be a bit off key now but it will always be our song.

What was your wedding song?

What did you do to celebrate International Self-Care Day today?

A Whole New World:

#internationalselfcareday #magiccarpetride #awholenewworld #aladdin #disney #oursong #summerofrich #selfcare #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #hiking #nature #beinginthemoment #beauty #spiritualhealing #summerofrichadventures #lostinthemoment #youareenough

Panic in the Pool

This past week I’ve felt very on edge, well more than I usually do I guess you could say.

I am feeling more nervous than usual, more tense, more angry and very uneasy.

Today the build up led to a panic attack right in the middle of my morning aqua fit class.

I love my aqua fit classes. I look so forward to it twice a week.

They are such a wonderful and positive distraction for me.

I work my butt off in class and I feel such a great accomplishment afterwards but today, given the week I’ve had, I just couldn’t seem to distract myself.

I tried to quietly slip out of the pool so not to make a scene as the panic erupted (it’s not like I’ve never made a scene before though!).

I felt the tears fill my eyes and I could barely breathe. Figuratively, I felt like I was drowning.

I just needed a moment to myself.

I reassured everyone I was ok (quietly slipping out of the pool didn’t work).

I wiped my tears away with my towel, took a few deep breaths, a big swig of water from my water bottle and then before I slipped back into the pool I double checked my phone to reassure myself one last time that the world wasn’t about to end.

Fyi: It wasn’t!

#panicattacks #aquafit #pooltime #selfcare #mentalhealth #anxiety #distractions #funinthesun #ilovetoswim #summertimeselfcare #floaties

The Voice of Depression

*May be triggering to some*

My emotions are running high and forever changing.

I’m irritable.

I can’t sleep.

I’m fatigued.

My anxiety is persistent.

I’m sad and overwhelmed.

My thoughts are dark.

This is the voice of Depression.

It makes me want to scream.

My efforts to drown out its voice is met with great resistance and gets louder and more intense the harder I try to resist it.

It wears me down.

It thrives on pain.

At times,

It can be very intrusive.

At other times,

Convincing.

I cannot let it win.

Not Suicide.

Not today.

If you or someone you know is in crisis text 45645 to connect with a counselor or go to your nearest emergency room.

#voiceofdepression #notsuicidenottoday #camh #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #mentalhealth #keepfuckinggoing #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #suicideawareness #suicideprevention

Sincerely “The Facebook Team”

Yesterday I posted a blog where I spoke openly and honestly on the topic of eating disorders and body shaming and how it has affected me at different stages of my life since I was in my late teens. (https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/07/12/body-shaming-yourself/).

Shortly after posting it on Facebook I received this email (see pics) which was signed “The Facebook Team”.

I have made 100’s (and 100’s) of posts on Facebook to date and as you all know I very often speak from my heart about my own personal vulnerbilities, struggles and suicidal thoughts so I just found this email was very interesting and wanted to share it with you as this was a first for me amongst 100’s of such posts.

It could’ve been spam for all I know but I was also happy to learn that by clicking on the “Help Centre” button attached in the email, Facebook takes you to a safe space for individuals or loved ones in crisis to reach out for help in countries all across the Globe.

#thefacebookteam #crisis #hotlines #suicideawareness #suicideprevention #yourmentalhealthmatters #youareenough #youarenotalone #bigbrotherisalwayswatchingyou #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalillness #endthestigmatogether #itsoktonotbeok #youmatter #speakyourtruth

Alone In The Wild

I recently watched a movie called “WILD”, starring Reese Witherspoon (2014).

It is based on a true story and the autobiography of Cheryl Strayed called “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail”.

The movie takes place on the Pacific Crest Trail which spans 2,600 miles (that’s a shitload of kilometers!) in length and runs from the the Mexican/U.S border to the U.S/Canada border. To hike this grueling trail in its entirely would take someone between 5 to 6 months to complete.

In June of 1995 this remarkable young woman (age 26) decides on a whim to take a much needed time out from her life and ascends on a journey toward self-discovery and healing by hiking 1,100 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail over a three month period.

At the start of her expedition, Cheryl had just recently divorced her husband and tragically lost her mother (she was only 45 years old when she died) but throughout the movie we also learn so much more about her traumatic childhood and reckless and destructive youth.

There were so many reasons why I wanted to watch this movie (which Rich discovered one night while channel surfing) and so many more reasons why while watching it I felt an instant connection to Cheryl even though our journeys are so vastly different.

Of course the movie centered around hiking which was a very big draw for me but what led her on that path (trail) in the first place is what connected me so deeply.

When I think of self-care it often includes alone time. Yes, being surrounded by other people is critical for our well-being but sometimes it can also create stress in your life as well (something I think many of us can relate to more than ever over the past year).

Taking time to be with yourself is both vital and beneficial in order to tap into our own thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Along Cheryl’s journey she met many interesting (and sometimes scary) people and was asked by one of them if she ever got lonely out there all alone but it was because of her time alone (and journaling) that she found the freedom to forge ahead and truly explore her own personal growth and development.

It’s what gave her the strength and determination to discover the power of healing.

Although I love to hike and I find it especially therapeutic for me and although I quite often need space away from others in order to help me heal I don’t forsee a three month hiking expedition anytime soon in my future.

For starters, I’d barely make it a mile before getting lost! Perhaps maybe a week alone at a spa would be a better place for me to start?

Where do you like to go when you need some alone time?

#wild #hiking #selfcare #selfdiscovery #therapeutic #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #pacificcresttrail #milesfromhome #writer #blogger #author #journey #beinthemoment #journaling #courage #healing #mindfulness #aloneinthewild @cherylstrayed @reesewitherspoon

The Most Incredibly Meaningful Birthday

First I just wanted to start off by giving a great big thank you to everyone (both near and far) who took the time yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. You helped make my day extra special and even more meaningful with all your beautiful birthday wishes and kind, encouraging words.

I have been beyond overwhelmed with emotion over the last couple of weeks as I have mentioned ALOT lately and most of my overwhelm has honestly had more to do with other aspects of my life and much less to do with my actual birthday.

But as the clock struck midnight on the eve of my birthday the focus completely shifted to my “birth day”. I tried not to overwhelm myself any further by putting any undue pressure on myself or create expectations that would overwhelm me further.

I cried ALOT yesterday, like ALOT ALOT.

I was overwhelmed ALOT yesterday, like ALOT ALOT.

I was on an emotional roller coaster ALOT yesterday, like ALOT ALOT but I don’t think I could have felt more blessed, loved or grateful than I did.

I was pampered and treated like royalty yesterday.

A meaningful gift from my incredible mother in law

I got to feel the warm embrace of other fully vaccinated loved ones living outside of my home for the first time in over 15 months and I never wanted to let go.

And I received the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts (including of course our weekend getaway last weekend) from friends and family that I will cherish forever.

A couple of months ago I shared a blog with you describing how I had very few pictures of myself or of my family and friends from infancy to my late teens due to circumstances beyond my control (see blog: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/04/15/empty-picture-frames/).

Little did I know that from that blog would emerge one of the most cherished and meaningful gifts I could have ever imagined.

After reading that particular blog, my brother set out on a mission to hunt down pictures from our childhood. Along with the selfless aid of my sister in law, my two nephews, Rich and my three kids they spent hours upon hours exchanging emails and texts with one another, reaching out to dear friends and family who were a big part of our childhood and formatting the layout and design together (all behind my back) in order to create an album for me starting from where my life began on June 23rd 1971 in Montreal, Quebec to present day, 50 years later.

The book wouldn’t be complete without #summerofrich

Believe it or not, these are only a handful of pics I chose to show you from this magnificent book. I honestly have no words to describe what yesterday truly meant to me and how deeply touched I am by all the kindness and love that surrounds me (and not just on my birthday) and I am so thankful to everyone who continues to go out of their way to show me day in and day out that I am enough ❤

(And a special shout out to my friend Jenn for this fricken awesome Cameo video). https://v.cameo.com/A2kP4m5ujhb

#fifty #finallyfifty #birthdays #celebratethemoments #iamcherished #grateful #iamnotalone #youareenough #family #friendship #memories #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #childhoodmemories #tearsofjoy

The Puppet Master

I know it’s really difficult for many of you to truly understand the depths of what depression and anxiety can do to a person’s mind.

It plays tricks on you.

Some days may feel lighter or brighter than others and for a moment, however brief it is, you may even forget about your illness.

Some days you are able to step outside of your darkness and pain just long enough to experience some moments of genuine joy and happiness.

It’s as though you are playing a character role but as soon as the curtain closes you step back into real life.

You all saw the pictures I posted the other day from my weekend away with my family (just in case you missed them here they are again: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/06/20/unwrapping-the-gift-of-family-time/).

You can see from these pictures that I experienced many, many treasured and genuine moments of joy and happiness over the weekend.

I will always be forever grateful for everything my kids did for me this past weekend, ensuring that I felt those moments of genuine joy and happiness, which I did.

Nothing will ever erase those feelings even when my mind tries to trick me into believing otherwise.

Yesterday was an extremely difficult day for me. The curtain closed abruptly on those feelings of joy and happiness and I crashed hard, real hard.

The darkness and pain is still surging through my veins today from many of the triggers I experienced yesterday afternoon and evening (none of which I am comfortable sharing at the moment).

As I lie in bed writing this, curled up in a cocoon underneath my weighted blanket and unable to face my final hours in my 40’s I am feeling very overwhelmed. I am confused. I am angry. I am sad. I am anxious. I am scared and to be perfectly honest I am all cried out at the moment.

This is just some of the many depths of depression and anxiety. You see the moments of joy and happiness in my life and wonder how I can experience them if I still struggle with depression. I totally get why it may be so difficult and confusing to understand it, but that’s what depression does, its puppet master finds immense pleasure in playing tricks on your mind.

#momentsofjoy #momentsofhappiness #playingtricks #puppetmaster #depression #anxiety #overwhelm #suicideawareness #selfcare #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalillness #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #yourmentalhealthmatters #thedepthsofdepression

We Have Arrived

“The Gift of Family Time” has begun (See my original post a few weeks ago in case you missed it: The Gift of Family Time (https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/05/26/the-gift-of-family-time/)

#thegiftoffamilytime #theperfectgift #birthdaygetaway #almostfifty #agiftoftime #familymatters #familyfirst #cottagelife #theweekend #therapeutic #selfcare #perspective #mindfulness #nature #inthemoment #youareenough #yourmentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #summerofrich #fathersdayweekend #iloveyoutothemoonandback

“Breaking Brave” Podcast

This afternoon I was given the opportunity and honour to be a guest speaker on a Podcast.

My first one ever.

I felt like a movie star.

I was introduced to the host Marilyn Barefoot about a month or so ago through a mutual friend who thought that I would be a perfect fit for Marilyn’s Podcast called “Breaking Brave” so she connected us via email and we set up a time to “meet” and get to know one another later that week.

Our conversation was so easy.

It was heartfelt and inspiring.

I felt like we’d known each other forever.

Right from our opening dialogue I could feel Marilyn’s energy and compassion shine through.

She is a natural born speaker, motivator and innovator both in her chosen field and on her Podcast.

But once Marilyn was given the green light from her Executive Producer a few days later to schedule me in for an actual recording of her Podcast it wasn’t too long afterwards when my negative self-talk kicked into full gear.

Brave? Me, brave?

How do I foster bravery in my mental health journey?

I gave this a great deal of thought.

I know that being vulnerable and honest about my personal struggles with mental illness is brave.

I know that by educating others and helping them to understand the many depths of mental illness is brave.

I know that being so transparent about my own mental health is helping to remove the stigma associated with mental illness and that is brave.

I know that the more I talk about my illness allows others to feel more comfortable and less ashamed or alone about their own struggles and that is brave.

I know that getting up each and every day and fighting for my life and advocating for the lives of so many others just like me is very brave.

I know that I have inspired many because of my willingness to share my story and that too is brave.

Being brave about your own mental health struggles should be contagious but it also doesn’t have to include writing a blog, publishing a children’s book or baring your heart and soul on Social Media either.

For you, “Breaking Brave” in your own personal mental health journey right now may mean taking that first step to ensure you get the help you need, however it is you feel most comfortable doing so, just so long as you do it! And I would be honoured to help take that first step with you!

A special thank you to Marilyn and her Executive Producer Rebekah for allowing me to share my story with your audience today and for showing me how truly brave I am. I am grateful for this experience and for your kindness and compassion.

My episode will likely be aired in a couple of months (I will keep you posted!). To listen to previously recorded episodes of Marilyn’s Podcast go to: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/breaking-brave-with-marilyn-barefoot/id1555760904 . “Each episode, find out how innovators and trailblazers from every walk of life broke through in their chosen or created fields. A podcast meant to inspire, invigorate, inform and uplift.”~Marilyn Barefoot

#breakingbrave #podcast #fosterbravery #startaconversation #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #youmatter #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalillness #endthestigmatogether #yourmentalhealthmatters #firststep #suicideprevention #blogger #author #mentalhealthadvocate #wheredidmommyssmilego

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