Tag: fiftieth birthday

The Most Incredibly Meaningful Birthday

First I just wanted to start off by giving a great big thank you to everyone (both near and far) who took the time yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. You helped make my day extra special and even more meaningful with all your beautiful birthday wishes and kind, encouraging words. 

I have been beyond overwhelmed with emotion over the last couple of weeks as I have mentioned ALOT lately and most of my overwhelm has honestly had more to do with other aspects of my life and much less to do with my actual birthday. 

But as the clock struck midnight on the eve of my birthday the focus completely shifted to my “birth day”. I tried not to overwhelm myself any further by putting any undue pressure on myself or create expectations that would overwhelm me further.

I cried ALOT yesterday, like ALOT ALOT. 

I was overwhelmed ALOT yesterday, like ALOT ALOT. 

I was on an emotional roller coaster ALOT yesterday, like ALOT ALOT but I don’t think I could have felt more blessed, loved or grateful than I did. 

I was pampered and treated like royalty yesterday. 

Lunch with my girls
I have the greatest friends
Another cherished gift from my kids
A meaningful gift from my incredible mother in law
It’s been too long
Wow! What a magnificent cake

I got to feel the warm embrace of other fully vaccinated loved ones living outside of my home for the first time in over 15 months and I never wanted to let go. 

First hugs in almost a year and a half

And I received the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts (including of course our weekend getaway last weekend) from friends and family that I will cherish forever.

A couple of months ago I shared a blog with you describing how I had very few pictures of myself or of my family and friends from infancy to my late teens due to circumstances beyond my control (see blog: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/04/15/empty-picture-frames/).

Little did I know that from that blog would emerge one of the most cherished and meaningful gifts I could have ever imagined. 

After reading that particular blog, my brother set out on a mission to hunt down pictures from our childhood. Along with the selfless aid of my sister in law, my two nephews, Rich and my three kids they spent hours upon hours exchanging emails and texts with one another, reaching out to dear friends and family who were a big part of our childhood and formatting the layout and design together (all behind my back) in order to create an album for me starting from where my life began on June 23rd 1971 in Montreal, Quebec to present day, 50 years later. 

Another wow moment
Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤
Wolsley Ave, Montreal West, Quebec
So many emotions
My brother’s Bar Mitzvah
He’s always got my back
The book wouldn’t be complete without #summerofrich

Believe it or not, these are only a handful of pics I chose to show you from this magnificent book. I honestly have no words to describe what yesterday truly meant to me and how deeply touched I am by all the kindness and love that surrounds me (and not just on my birthday) and I am so thankful to everyone who continues to go out of their way to show me day in and day out that I am enough ❤

(And a special shout out to my friend Jenn for this fricken awesome Cameo video). https://v.cameo.com/A2kP4m5ujhb

David and Annie from 90 Day Fiance

#fifty #finallyfifty #birthdays #celebratethemoments #iamcherished #grateful #iamnotalone #youareenough #family #friendship #memories #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #childhoodmemories #tearsofjoy

The Puppet Master

I know it’s really difficult for many of you to truly understand the depths of what depression and anxiety can do to a person’s mind.

It plays tricks on you.

Some days may feel lighter or brighter than others and for a moment, however brief it is, you may even forget about your illness.

Some days you are able to step outside of your darkness and pain just long enough to experience some moments of genuine joy and happiness. 

It’s as though you are playing a character role but as soon as the curtain closes you step back into real life. 

You all saw the pictures I posted the other day from my weekend away with my family (just in case you missed them here they are again: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/06/20/unwrapping-the-gift-of-family-time/).

You can see from these pictures that I experienced many, many treasured and genuine moments of joy and happiness over the weekend. 

I will always be forever grateful for everything my kids did for me this past weekend, ensuring that I felt those moments of genuine joy and happiness, which I did.

Nothing will ever erase those feelings even when my mind tries to trick me into believing otherwise. 

Yesterday was an extremely difficult day for me. The curtain closed abruptly on those feelings of joy and happiness and I crashed hard, real hard. 

The darkness and pain is still surging through my veins today from many of the triggers I experienced yesterday afternoon and evening (none of which I am comfortable sharing at the moment). 

As I lie in bed writing this, curled up in a cocoon underneath my weighted blanket and unable to face my final hours in my 40’s I am feeling very overwhelmed. I am confused. I am angry. I am sad. I am anxious. I am scared and to be perfectly honest I am all cried out at the moment. 

This is just some of the many depths of depression and anxiety. You see the moments of joy and happiness in my life and wonder how I can experience them if I still struggle with depression. I totally get why it may be so difficult and confusing to understand it, but that’s what depression does, its puppet master finds immense pleasure in playing tricks on your mind.

#momentsofjoy #momentsofhappiness #playingtricks #puppetmaster #depression #anxiety #overwhelm #suicideawareness #selfcare #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalillness #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #yourmentalhealthmatters #thedepthsofdepression

Unwrapping The Gift Of Family Time

My illness has made me feel so out of control too many times to count.

It’s a very scary feeling. 

I don’t fair well with chaos and disorder.

I need to cross every “t” and dot every “i” in everything I do. 

I make lists and I check them twice (well its probably closer to a dozen times).

When I feel like I’m losing control over a situation I become extremely overwhelmed.

I think much of my obsessive and compulsive behaviours when it comes to control stem from my childhood, a time when I never truly felt like I had any control over my own life, nor given free reign to make my own decisions or mistakes. 

This weekend was meant for my family and I to celebrate ME. 

They organized everything, leaving no stone unturned (or meal and snack unplanned either). 

However, leading up to the weekend my need to take control overwhelmed me. 

But this weekend was not meant for me to get overwhelmed. 

It was meant for me to sit back, relax, be in the moment and not get caught up in every little detail. 

The kids and Rich could see the  overwhelm surrounding me throughout the week.

I tried my darndest to remove myself from any of the chaos and disorder. 

They reassured me over and over again.

“Mom, don’t worry, we’ve got this!” was repeated on a daily basis.

And boy were they were right. 

They didn’t miss a beat.

No stone went left unturned.

Every “t” was crossed and every “i” dotted. 

Words cannot begin to describe how much this weekend truly meant to me or how truly appreciative and grateful I am for the love my family. 

They may not always “get” me and that’s OK because they “get” what truly matters.

Memories were made to last a lifetime this weekend, laughter was in abundance and I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect gift than the gift of quality time with my perfectly imperfect family.

#iloveyoutothemoonandback #wevegotthis #perfectlyimperfect #familymatters #familyfirst #youareenough #cottagelife #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #nature #hiking #kahshelake #lakeofhealingwaters #funinthesun #turningfifty #birthdaygetaway #agiftoftime #peaceful #therapeutic #campfire #smores #summerofrich #happyfathersday #selfcare #blessed

We Have Arrived

“The Gift of Family Time” has begun (See my original post a few weeks ago in case you missed it: The Gift of Family Time (https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/05/26/the-gift-of-family-time/)

#thegiftoffamilytime #theperfectgift #birthdaygetaway #almostfifty #agiftoftime #familymatters #familyfirst #cottagelife #theweekend #therapeutic #selfcare #perspective #mindfulness #nature #inthemoment #youareenough #yourmentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #summerofrich #fathersdayweekend #iloveyoutothemoonandback

50 days until I’m 50!  

Today marks 50 days until I’m 50!

I have a small favour to ask. 

Think of it as an early birthday gift to me.

I would love it if everyone could do one nice, thoughtful gesture for someone else every day for the next 50 days until my birthday. 

It doesn’t have to be anything too extravagant, after all isn’t it the thought that counts? The sentiment sure would mean alot to me and I bet it will mean even more to that someone else. 

Here are a few “gift” ideas for you!

Say good morning to a stranger.

Buy a cup of coffee for the driver behind you in line at the drive-thru.

Write a letter to someone using a pen and paper and then mail it to them.

Ask someone how their day is going; and then listen intently. 

Tell someone who could really use a good laugh a really bad joke.

Say “I love you” to someone you love.

Tell a child you are proud of them.

Send flowers, just because. 

Donate the clothes you don’t wear anymore. 

Drop off some dry/canned goods at a local food bank.

Say thank you to an essential worker.

Say thank you to a teacher.

Say thank you.

Say “I’m sorry” when you are wrong. 

Support a small business in your neighborhood. 

So, who’s ready for the challenge?What are some other gift ideas you have in mind?

Sometimes doing the smallest of gestures for someone else can be the most meaningful gift of all. 

I’d love to hear how it’s going and how many times over the next 50 days you make someone else smile. And feel free to share this with others because there are plenty of “gifts” to go around.

#turningfiftyinfifty #smallgestures #kindnessmatters #bekind #spreadkindness #birthdaygift #halfcentury #youareenough #youarenotalone #payitforward  #mentalhealthweek #mentalhealth #mentalwellness 

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