Several people in my life have recently mourned the loss of a beloved pet; my own mother being one of them after having to make the gut-wrenching decision to put her 15 year old dog and loyal companion down this past week.
Anyone who has never experienced the unconditional love from a pet before will never truly understand the grief and trauma that comes along with losing their family member, because, to a pet owner, they are family.
The first time I myself went through the devastating loss of a beloved family pet was just one week before my wedding when I suddenly lost my cherished childhood dog Bamboo. Having to deal with the excruciating pain of losing her while preparing for the greatest day of my life made the healing process that much harder. I still to this day speak of her often and will forever carry her memory close to my heart.
Grieving any type of loss is a highly individual and a very personal experience, one that can affect both our mental and physical wellbeing; the loss of a family pet included.
Pets can help ease symptoms of loneliness, anxiety and depression for many. The bond we create with our fur babies can be very intense and can even be likened to that of a parent-child relationship where unconditional love, trust and acceptance are at the forefront; and some of the key ingredients that we may feel are missing in some of our human relationships.
Yet there is still such a stigma surrounding how a person should and should not mourn their fur babies leading many to feel even more isolated and unsupported because their emotions aren’t being validated.
While most people can empathize with other people when they lose a loved one, not everyone has the ability to grasp the devastation that someone feels when losing a pet and instead may be of the mindset that the easiest way for them to get through the grieving process is to just get another pet.
Like with the loss of anyone close to us, people need time to process and grieve their fur babies but are often made to feel guilty, embarrassed or ashamed for even considering something like taking time off from work or other regular activities as well, only making them shut down more.
Another thing that can make the grieving process more difficult for someone and probably an avenue not explored enough is how much the loss affects a person’s daily routine. Our fur babies rely on a schedule which in turn becomes a regular part of our own schedule like when they need to be fed or walked each day, leaving them feeling even more lost and affecting their mental and physical wellbeing further.
Whatever it is you may be struggling with most during this time of great loss, it’s more than okay to give yourself whatever time and grace you need to feel all your emotions, even the negative ones. Talk about it, let your loved ones know you are having a difficult time and need their support. Maybe part of your healing process will be to spend time with other animals or to get a new pet but whatever it is you need most to comfort yourself just keep in mind that you are not alone and that self-compassion and self-kindness are key to moving on after such a devastating loss.
And for those who can’t truly understand the grief and trauma that comes along with losing their family member, because, to a pet owner, they are family, can just suck it!
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YouAreEnough 
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