YouAreEnough

Three weeks ago tonight, my unthinkable accident happened. It’s hard to believe that three weeks have already passed.

On a positive note, the swelling and bruising on my face have completely cleared up, and remarkably fast, too. For that, I’m incredibly grateful.

But now, as I wait for the next steps and answers about what will become of my teeth and gums, it’s my mental health that needs my undivided attention. Still several more weeks ahead of me with a very limited diet of soft foods and liquids until the wire holding everything together can safely be removed. I’m trying to decide what meal I want to eat first when this is behind me. I think it’s an easy one: a big plate of nachos with extra cheese 🧀.

So much is still up in the air, and I’m trying my best not to think about the “what’s to come” stage until I actually have to. For someone like me, who lives with severe anxiety and chronic depression, that is much easier said than done. My mind can very quickly take one unknown and turn it into a hundred different worst-case scenarios. I’m trying not to let the uncertainty get more power than it deserves right now. This strategy isn’t necessarily working, but I’m trying my best! I know, for my mental health that I just have to focus on what’s in front of me and let tomorrow wait until it arrives.

My mouth is still in a lot of pain. My bottom lip remains swollen due to the numerous abscesses along the inside of my lip. My three teeth that they saved (for now) are extremely sensitive to touch, which is also worrying me more than I can probably put into words. I’m scared that some of the teeth they were hoping to save may not be able to be saved after all. The wire itself is incredibly irritating, and the roof of my mouth is still very sore and irritated as well.

And then, because apparently my mouth needed one more thing to deal with… today I had to visit an urgent care clinic because a couple of the “dissolvable” stitches I received in Emerg three weeks ago decided they had no intention of dissolving.

I was told by the doctor that they should dissolve within about a week, and thankfully, most of them did. But over the past few days, I noticed the area where the remaining stitches were had started becoming increasingly irritated, with redness that looked to be spreading. Of course, I panicked.

After the doctor in urgent care examined me, a nurse came and removed the remaining stitches. The doctor said it was a good thing I came in. Now I just need to keep the area clean and watch it closely so that, like the rest of me, it can finally begin to heal.

Three weeks in. Still healing. Still waiting. Still trying to take it one day at a time.

And honestly, some days, that’s all I can do.

Wishing you all a peaceful and restorative Shabbat and weekend ahead.

Shabbat Shalom. ❤️

Always one of my favourite nights of the summer. 💙

I’ve been waiting all summer long for tonight, and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from making it to the concert in the park.

There’s just something about ABBA’s music. It invites me to be fully present, to sing along, move to the music, and simply soak in the moment. For a little while, everything else fades into the background.

My emotions have been running high lately, understandably, and yes… a few tears were shed tonight. They were the kind of tears that remind you music has a way of reaching places words never can.

A stranger noticed my tears and took a moment to check in on me. We shared a brief conversation that reminded me of something we so easily forget, we never really know what someone else is carrying. A few words of kindness or encouragement can make more of a difference than we realize.

I’m grateful for the music, the warmth of the summer evening, the incredible vibes, and that unexpected reminder of the goodness that still exists in people.

Tonight was exactly what my soul needed. 🎶

#SummerConcert #ABBA #ConcertInThePark #FindingJoy #ChooseKindness #summernights #mammamia #dancingqueen #mentalhealth @abbarevisited

Some evenings feed you in ways that have nothing to do with the meal.

Last night, I met up with a very special group of ladies who have been part of my story since the day I was born. Together, they’ve watched me grow up, celebrated so many of life’s milestones with me, and helped shape some of the childhood memories I cherish most. They may be family friends by definition, but to me, they have always been family.

Truthfully, I almost postponed… again. I’d already had to cancel a couple of weeks ago after my accident, and with my mouth still healing, eating is anything but easy these days. But I didn’t want to wait until things were easier because, with a long road to recovery ahead, that could feel like forever.

If I’ve learned anything over this past year, it’s that tomorrow isn’t promised, and there will always be reasons to put things off. Life gets busy. We tell ourselves, “We’ll do it another time.”

But some people are worth making time for.

While I couldn’t enjoy my meal the way I’d hoped, I was nourished in other ways, through laughter, familiar faces, and the comfort of being with people who have known me through every chapter of my life.

Sometimes healing happens around a dinner table. Making space for the people who know our history, celebrate our joys, carry us through our struggles, and remind us who we are is always worth it.

I came home with a full heart, grateful for the kind of love that stands the test of time and for the people who remind us that, no matter how much life changes, some connections never do.

And right now, that’s exactly the kind of nourishment I needed.

This past Saturday was National Sunflower Day. 🌻 We already had plans that day, but with today being a holiday, we intentionally set aside the day for sunflowers.

Every summer, I find myself drawn to sunflower fields. There is something almost sacred about standing among endless rows of golden blooms, each one lifting its face toward the sun as if holding tightly to the promise of a brighter tomorrow. They stand unapologetically tall, imperfections and all. Maybe that’s why they’ve always been my favourite flower.

A few weeks ago, I came across a sunflower farm on social media, one we hadn’t been to before. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Today, with the sunflowers finally in full bloom, we went. Twenty-six acres of breathtaking sunflowers, a peaceful 1.5 km walking trail, countless opportunities to pause for photos, a fun scavenger hunt, and beautiful mental health messages thoughtfully placed throughout the fields. At the end of the trail, we each got to pick our very own sunflower to take home. And best of all, every visit helps support the Canadian Mental Health Association. What could be more perfect? It didn’t even matter how muddy we got due to all the rain we had yesterday.

Today was the reminder I needed to slow down and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. Like the sunflower that instinctively turns toward the sun, I was reminded to keep turning toward hope, gratitude, and faith, even when the path ahead feels uncertain.

Right now, my own path feels filled with uncertainty and so many unanswered questions about my recovery. I’m feeling more mentally and physically drained than I can remember. Taking time to step outside, soak up a little sunshine, breathe deeply, and immerse myself in nature was exactly what my heart needed. And as a little bonus, I found the most beautiful ring, sunflowers wrapped around my favourite affirmation: I am enough.

On our way home, we stopped at one of our favourite roadside burger joints. I got a milkshake. Milkshakes have quickly become my latest recovery obsession. It was the perfect ending to a very busy long weekend filled with simple moments of joy before another very busy week begins (at least it’s a short one!).

Nature truly is one of the greatest places to heal, recharge, and remember that even after the darkest days, we can still turn toward the light. 🌻

@kadylacksunflowers @cmha @champburger #sunflowers #iamenough #nationalsunflowerday #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety

Went to see the oral surgeon for a follow-up today to check the area where part of my tooth fell out earlier this week and to discuss next steps. However, next steps are still very uncertain and kind of in limbo right now, or for at least the next month until the wire across my teeth can be removed. The swelling and bruising is almost all gone on my face though, and my mouth is healing a little more each day, but for my mental health, it’s best I don’t look inside. I’m still in a great deal of pain and experiencing constant headaches. He prescribed a muscle relaxant to take before bed, with the hope that it will give my jaw some much-needed relief.

Within the next few weeks, I’ll need to see a dentist to assess my progress and determine when the wire can safely be removed. Until then, we simply won’t know if the remaining teeth will survive or what the final treatment plan will look like.

What we do know is that the two teeth that didn’t make it will need to be removed from the root, followed by implants. As for the other three teeth, they could require root canals, crowns, bridges, veneers…it’s anyone’s guess right now and I am extremely overwhelmed at this point in time. No decisions can be made until the wire comes off, and as I stated above, nor is the surgeon certain those remaining teeth will even make it.

So for now, it’s at least another month of soup, applesauce, popsicles, soft foods, protein drinks, and pain management.

I can’t thank you all enough for the continued check-ins, well wishes, prayers, and special deliveries. Your kindness has meant more than you’ll ever know.

I’m grateful for the long weekend ahead, a chance to focus on some much-needed self-care, spend time in nature, admire the sunflowers, catch up with friends, and celebrate love with a beautiful bride-to-be. I kicked off the weekend with a well-deserved haircut.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and restful weekend.

Shabbat Shalom. ❤️

After giving myself some time to focus on my healing and trauma from the very visible aftermath of my fall; it was time to start addressing the other half of the equation that has been lingering on the minds of many concerned friends, loved ones and my dental team.

Today I met with my family doctor to begin searching for any possible answers as to why did I faint without any warning?

Although this was by far the most devastating fainting episode I’ve ever experienced, I’m actually no stranger to fainting. Over the course of my adult life, there have been several occasions when I’ve lost consciousness. The difference is that every single one of those episodes came with warning signs, and I could always point to a likely cause; an antidepressant I was taking that caused dizziness, struggles with an eating disorder in my early twenties, a horrible bout of the flu with a very high fever, and in 2020, as many of you know, just prior to the pandemic, a severe panic attack that led to fainting four times in a matter of minutes and a concussion which followed.

This time was different.

There was no panic attack. No obvious trigger in the moment. No warning. One second I was lying down on my couch with a sudden urge to throw up, trying to make it to the bathroom, and the next thing I know, I am waking up face down on the hallway floor in a pool of blood, with injuries that changed everything.

My doctor explained that there are several possible reasons this could have happened, and the first step is a referral to a cardiologist. While I know there may be more tests, more appointments, and perhaps more waiting ahead, I also know I need to find out if there’s an underlying reason this happened. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if, or when, it could happen again.

In the meantime, I’ve already made changes of my own. Although my diet is still limited while my mouth heals, I’m being extremely diligent about eating on a regular schedule. Because that night appeared to begin with becoming overly hungry and acid building up in my stomach which led to two episodes of vomiting earlier in the evening, I’m doing everything I can to avoid ever getting to that point again. It’s one small thing I can control while I wait for answers.

Healing isn’t just about repairing what’s broken on the outside. Sometimes it’s about having the courage to search for answers to what we can’t see. For now, I’ll keep taking things one appointment, one step, and one day at a time, trusting that each one brings me a little closer to understanding what happened that night.

Yesterday was one month since you left us, Maggie. How has it been a month already? 💔🐾

I still look for you every morning when I wake up and every night when it’s time to go to bed, hoping you’ll come curl up beside me one more time. I still glance at your favourite spots, certain for a fleeting moment that I’ll see you there. And every time I sit down for dinner, I still expect you to appear, hoping for a little taste of whatever I’m eating.

So much has happened since you’ve been gone. I keep thinking about everything that happened to me last weekend, and I know you would have been right there, gently reminding me that I wasn’t alone. You always seemed to know exactly when I needed you most.

A month has passed, but my heart is still searching for you.

I miss you every single day, sweet girl.  ❤️🌈🐾

Can anyone tell me what the going rate is for the Tooth Fairy these days? 🦷🧚‍♀️

Today brought yet another unexpected twist in my ongoing trauma.

I was scheduled to have part of a tooth pulled this coming Friday. That was never part of the original plan. It wasn’t until the middle of last week that I discovered a fifth tooth had become loose. Initially, it had been missed because my mouth was so swollen.

When I saw the oral surgeon on Thursday, he took one look at it and explained that the loose part of the tooth would need to be removed, that is, until the wire attached to the front of my teeth can come off in a few (or more) weeks. Once the wire is removed, the remaining part of the tooth will also need to be pulled. He didn’t want to do it last week because he felt it was best to give my mouth another week to heal first.

With each passing day, though, the tooth became looser and more uncomfortable. I honestly didn’t think it would make it until Friday.

Well… today, while I was at work, it suddenly fell out on its own.

Unfortunately, there is now a great deal more pain in the area, like there wasn’t already enough pain. After speaking with the surgeon’s office this afternoon, they advised me to keep my appointment on Friday so he can assess everything and discuss the next steps in this nightmare of a recovery.

So, for now, it’s a continuation of soft foods, liquids, and pain management.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to put my tooth under my pillow. I never thought at 55 I’d be putting a tooth under my pillow… but here we are. Here’s hoping the Tooth Fairy doesn’t have an age limit.

Trying to keep my sense of humour in tact. It’s the only way to keep the tears at bay.

Friends invited Rich and me to join them on a weekend adventure, doing what I love most. Although we’re almost always up for an adventure, after everything I’ve been through this past week, there were so many reasons, or excuses to stay home. Physically, I’m still in a great deal of pain, but it’s the mental anguish that’s been far more difficult to navigate. More than anything, both Rich and I needed a weekend away.

Last summer, Rich and I discovered Guess Where Trips, a company that plans one-day, self-guided surprise road trips based on your interests. You have no idea where you’re headed until you hit the road, and each destination is only revealed once you’ve completed the previous stop. There are multiple options along the way and just enough mystery to keep you guessing the whole time.

It’s the ultimate choose-your-own-adventure experience, and such a fun, unique way to explore our beautiful Province.

This weekend, we did one such trip. It was both “weird and wonderful”. We visited a quaint little coffee shop, wandered through a farmers’ market, chased a few waterfalls, took in breathtaking lookout points, browsed a magical roadside attraction filled with crystals and an enchanting outdoor faerie forest, and explored a large art park featuring gigantic, handmade concrete screaming heads sculptures. We enjoyed dinner right on the water at one of my favourite restaurants. Even though I couldn’t eat my favourite foods because I’m currently limited to soft foods and liquids, it honestly didn’t matter. Taking in the view and being there was enough. We wrapped up our quick, but jam-packed getaway today with a hike through a conservation area and then spent a relaxing afternoon at the beach.

It was exactly the weekend getaway we needed. It was the perfect distraction from a week filled with trauma, fear, and uncertainty. I weathered the pain, both physical and emotional. I laughed and made wonderful memories.

Tomorrow my healing continues both inside and out. But for one beautiful weekend, I was reminded that even in the middle of the hardest chapters, joy still finds a way to sneak in.

As we drove home, a beautiful rainbow stretched across the sky. After everything this past week has brought, it felt like the perfect ending to our adventure; a gentle reminder that even after the darkest storms, moments of beauty, hope, and light still find their way through.

My heart is incredibly grateful tonight, for Rich, and for the wonderful friends who invited us along on this adventure. Thank you for giving us the perfect escape, for filling our weekend with laughter, fresh air, and unforgettable memories. Healing doesn’t only happen at home, sometimes it begins on the open road, surrounded by people who care. I am so thankful to have so many incredible people in my life. ❤️

Before I begin, I want to take a moment to extend a huge and heartfelt thank you to everyone for your kindness and support over the past few days. The messages, phone calls, prayers, visits, hugs, and all the delicious treats have meant more than I can put into words. Every single one of you has made this horrific nightmare just a little easier to bear.

And to Rich… thank you for once again being my rock. Thank you for holding my hand through every appointment, advocating for me when I couldn’t, wiping away my tears, making me laugh when I needed it most, and reminding me that I don’t have to face any of this alone. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you. ❤️

#EveryoneNeedsARich

Today, Rich took me to my initial consultation with my oral surgeon. He’s the brother and brother-in-law of very dear friends of ours, so I knew I’d be in good hands.

He was kind, compassionate, and honest. He reminded me that there is still a very long and winding road to recovery ahead.

To make matters worse, last night I started experiencing a new pain in one area of my mouth. My tongue kept finding the spot, and I realized a fifth tooth had suddenly become loose. The surgeon took one look at it this afternoon and told me it also has to come out. It’s cracked and was somehow missed in the initial trauma because of all the swelling in my mouth. The plan is to remove it next week, giving both my mouth and me, a little more time to heal.

For now, the wire across my teeth will need to stay in place for at least four to six weeks. Thankfully, after my oral surgeon consulted with the surgeon I saw in the hospital on Saturday morning, he’s hopeful the wire alone will allow the fracture in my gums to heal and that I may be able to avoid that one additional surgery.

It’s one small piece of encouraging news in the middle of an incredibly difficult week.

Every day, the swelling and bruising on my face are slowly improving, and I’m hopeful that over the next few days my stitches will begin to dissolve as well. Healing is happening, even if it’s happening more slowly than I’d like.

But emotionally, that’s been one of the hardest parts. I still have a difficult time looking at myself in the mirror. I’m embarrassed to smile because I know what’s happening inside my mouth, even if most people can’t see it. It’s a constant reminder of the trauma I’ve endured, and right now I’m still trying to come to terms with both the physical and emotional scars.

The reality is… this has all been too much.

Along with the physical pain, I’m really struggling with my mental health. I know that’s a normal response after experiencing such a traumatic event, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I keep replaying everything over and over in my mind, and part of me still can’t shake the guilt of what happened. Then there’s another part of me that wishes I had never woken up from this nightmare, a nightmare that has not only left me injured, but has also placed a very large financial burden on my family.

I’m emotionally exhausted and physically drained.

I know it was an accident, an unavoidable, freak accident. I also know I need to make an appointment with my doctor to begin investigating what caused me to faint so unexpectedly. My oral surgeon strongly encouraged me not to put that off. But if I’m being honest, part of me is afraid to know the answer. Even making that first phone call feels overwhelming right now.

The next four to six weeks will bring their own challenges. My meals will continue to consist of liquids and soft foods while everything heals. It may sound like a small inconvenience compared to everything else, but right now it feels like one more reminder that recovery touches every part of daily life.

And it’s during moments like these that I miss my mom the most. I miss hearing her reassuring voice telling me everything was going to be okay. I miss the comfort that only a mom can give. Grief has a way of showing up when we’re at our most vulnerable, and right now I feel the weight of that loss more than ever.

Trauma changes you. Healing takes time. Showing yourself grace is a vital part of that healing. Recognizing your own resilience, celebrating the silent victories, and giving yourself credit for simply getting through the day are powerful ways of honouring yourself.

So today, I’m reminding myself that surviving doesn’t always look brave. Sometimes surviving simply means making it through the day, wiping away your own tears, accepting the love of those around you who want to help, and trusting that this heaviness won’t last forever.

I’m not okay today.

But I’m still here.

And for today, that’s enough. ❤️

In case you missed it, here is my initial blog I posted the other day.
https://wheredidmommyssmilego.com/2026/07/19/2026-we-are-officially-done/