Tag: peace

Invitation Only

“The act of forgiveness takes place in your own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.”~ Louise Hay

Forgiveness is a gentle act and a gift of self love. I have learned over the last several years that holding on to anger I have toward someone who has hurt me only creates further pain. 

Forgiveness means no longer feeling burdened by your past. 

Forgiveness doesn’t have to mean reconciliation, approval or making space to welcome someone back into your world, it just means choosing to rise above it by moving forward, free of bitterness and resentment. 

Forgiveness allows you to put the situation behind you for your own well being and integrity. It means taking back the power and control you have over yourself.

The past few years I’ve had a big shift in the area of my relationships and whether it be a friendship, a family member or even an acquaintance; it can get very complicated. 

Some shifts in my relationships have brought with it a sigh of relief, a feeling of anger and plenty of sadness but through my own personal journey toward healing and with time, they have also brought forgiveness.  

I’ve learned that holding on to the bitterness and resentment is only hurting me. 

Forgiveness doesn’t always happen right away. For some people or in some circumstances it can take a lot longer to forgive, but it’s never too late to learn the art of forgiveness.

As I move into this next chapter of my life I am now making a conscious effort and a very selfless decision when it pertains to my own mental health and well-being that I choose who I get to invite into my life.  

I’ve always let people walk into my life very easily, sometimes too easily and I’ve done so without actually stopping to ask myself first if I really have the energy or mental capacity needed in order to have a healthy relationship with this person at this moment in time. 

I’m a pretty open book (that’s an obvious one) and I wear my heart on my sleeve (also pretty obvious) which, at times has left me feeling very vulnerable and indefensible in some of my relationships and sadly it’s come back to bite me in the ass many, many times. 

By learning how to forgive others who have held way too much unwarranted space in my heart for far too long has really afforded me the ability to make so much more room in my life for the people who genuinely want to be there and vice versa. 

It’s opened up space to have real and honest relationships with people who can truly accept my limitations and vice versa, who see me as perfectly imperfect and vice versa, who don’t question my boundaries and vice versa, who support my endeavors and vice versa, who want nothing more than for me to be happy and vice versa, who are there to listen when I just need to talk, without judgment and vice versa and most of all, who love me for being my true authentic self and vice versa.

I have so much to be grateful for when it comes to the amazing relationships I have in my life right now. And whether you are a friend, a family member or even an acquaintance of mine I hope you know that you always have an open invitation.

#forgiveness #learningtoforgive #mentalhealth #wellbeing #inviteonly #theactofforgivness #mentalwellness #family #friendship #selfcare #selflove #rsvp #openinvitation #relationshipgoals #youareenough #mondaymotivation  

It Was Seven Years Ago Today: What My Illness Has Both Taken From Me And Taught Me Too

It was seven years ago today that I uttered the words “I want to die” for the very first time.

It was seven years ago today that I felt hopeless and alone for the very first time.

It was seven years ago today that my life no longer felt purposeful for the very first time. 

It was seven years ago today that I felt broken for the very first time. 

It was seven years ago today that I felt unlovable for the very first time.

It was seven years ago today that I lost my way for the very first time.

It was seven years ago today that I felt like the world was better off without me for the very first time. 

It was seven years ago today that I felt an abundance of sadness and shame come over me for the very first time. 

It was seven years ago today that my life was about to change forever and I felt too powerless and helpless to stop it.

It was seven years ago today that I peered outside my bedroom window hoping to find myself somewhere out there.

It was seven years ago today that suddenly I felt a disconnect from the person I once was and with each passing year she seems to fade further and further from my mind.

But someone new emerged in her place that day instead and even though she still feels all those same emotions today that she did seven years ago her new identity has taught her so much more than she ever thought imaginable about both herself and others. 

Her new identity has learned to embrace the difficult moments as a way to grow and co-exist with herself.

Her new identity has learned how to create more meaning in her life.

Her new identity has learned ways to stop running from herself by using the anchor she has been given when she needs a break. 

Her new identity has learned to recognize the pain and suffering in others with heartfelt compassion, empathy and kindness through the acceptance of her own pain and suffering.

Her new identity has learned how to ask for help and how to advocate for those who aren’t quite able to yet. 

Her new identity has found her voice, one that she no longer takes for granted. 

Her new identity has become stronger and more resilient than she truly realizes or gives herself enough credit for. 

Her new identity has learned the importance of making self-care her number one priority.

Her new identity has learned how to set limits and enforce healthy boundaries which has in turn created deeper, more meaningful bonds with the people in her life.

And she is grateful. Not for all that she has necessarily lost since that very first day seven years ago but for all that she has gained and learned since then. And it’s alot.

#itwassevenyearsagotoday #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #selfdiscovery #selfcare #depression #anxiety #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #yourmentalhealthmatters #checkonyourlovedones #bekindtoyourself #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #mentalillness #endthestigmatogether  

Ma famille ❤

What does family mean to you?

To me family is always having someone in your life who has your back and sees your shortcomings yet still loves you unconditionally.

Family is showing love and support for one another even through the difficult times and having a strong connection with others who want nothing more than to lift you up and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

Family is having a feeling of security, unity, acceptance and a mutual respect and understanding. 

Being part of a family doesn’t have to mean that you are related by a bloodline or always having to share the same interests or opinions with each other  either; it just means that you always feel a sense of belonging, a willingness to embrace your differences and the ability to value them no matter what.

#happyfamilyday #family #familymatters #memories #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youareenough #youarenotalone #mondaymotivation

What is Love?

“Love isn’t about how often you say I love you, it’s about how much you can prove it’s true.” ~ unknown ~

It’s easy to say I love you, they are just words; people can tell you anything they believe you long to hear but it’s their actions that will truly tell you everything.

There are many different kinds of love we will experience in our lifetime but just remember, that no matter what, the only kind of love you ever deserve, is the kind of love that doesn’t come with conditions, prerequisites or agendas attached to it.

#chooseaction #choosekindness #chooselove #loveyourself #bemyvalentine #youareenough #bekindtoyourself

It’s National Bubble Gum Day!

Studies have shown that chewing gum while feeling stressed or anxious can actually lower your cortisol levels, improve negative moods and blood flow in the brain, increase your level of peace and calm and may even enhance your cognitive performance and alertness.

So next time you’re having a stressful day or feeling anxious, try “popping” a piece of gum in your mouth and “chew” on this!

What’s your favourite brand of gum?

#nationalbubblegumday #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #blowingbubbles #chewinggum #ChewOnThis #bubblegum #whatsyourfavouritebrandofgum #anxietyisreal #stress

Living Inside My Suicidal Mind

***WARNING: Content may be triggering***

I know that Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

But what if your problems keep adding up and what if they no longer feel temporary?

But what if you can no longer shake off those unrelenting thoughts?

But what if you believe that suicide is your only option in order to feel any kind of relief or be at peace?

But what if you feel like your mere existence is hurting those around you, especially the ones who love you the most? 

But what if the pain in your heart is too intense and overwhelming to stand for one second more?

But what if you’ve made a plan and just want to figure out a way to execute it?

But what if you can’t close your eyes at night because you’re too afraid of what you might see?

But what if you’re anxiety is paralyzing you with fear and keeping you from living? From breathing? From loving? Or from finding hope?

But what if your depressed mind keeps telling you that you are helpless? Worthless? And have no purpose?

But what if all this sadness and despair are so completely unbearable and feels as if it will last forever?

If you or someone you know is in crisis please reach out to a trusting friend, therapist, counsellor, loved one or call Canada Suicide Prevention Hotline @ 1.833.456.4566/ Kids Help Phone @ 1.800.668.6868 Help is available 24/7/365

#itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #checkonyourlovedones #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #mentalhealthcheckin #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalillness #dontsufferinsilence #yourmentalhealthmatters #youmatter #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #BellLetsTalk

I Need To Climb That Mountain First

It was exactly one year ago today that I made one of the most courageous decisions of my life. I should be shouting from the rooftops today that I am one year smoke free but instead I am sitting here beating myself up (as usual) as I write this because at some point in mid July after being smoke free for 6 whole months, I gave into my urge to smoke and gave myself yet another reason to feel like a failure. 

A great many of you have probably already heard this story many times over the past year so bear with me as I tell it one more time for those of you who haven’t heard it before. It was a year ago today that I lay in bed on day fourteen of 2020 (you know, that time when we still thought 2020 was gonna be a great year). I  was recuperating from a concussion that had occurred the day after New Year’s Day from a fainting episode (see I already knew better than to think 2020 was gonna be a great year).  By now, smoking was becoming less and less enjoyable to me as I continued to battle the ongoing symptoms of my concussion and just knowing that the last thing I had done before the concussion occurred was smoke a cigarette (well only half to be exact since I had to put it out quickly as I was feeling like I may faint) it was also beginning to cause me several symptoms of PTSD as well every time I attempted to light up.

I know from everyone’s words of encouragement and supportive dialogue back in July when I told you that I started smoking again that I should not be beating myself up today or any other day for that matter and that I should also not be seeing it as yet another failure in my life but my depressive mind just won’t see it any other way. 

I was quite proud of myself when I quit that day and for several months that followed I hardly missed it at all but like with most addictions or addictive behaviours, sometimes we may have to try many times before we can actually get it right. 

By the time July rolled around I was in a very dark place and the cravings were overwhelming me and so I gave in or as my inner critic would tell me, I gave up. You see, smoking is, in it’s own sick way very soothing for me and it helps to relax me when I’m feeling conflicted or anxious but still I can’t help but feel like I have not only failed myself but my husband and children too every time I light up.

I think about quitting every day and just about every time I have a cigarette.  The effects that come from smoking are back to where they were a year ago and you would think that would be a good enough reason to quit, but unlike a year ago I’m just not in a place right now that I feel I could be successful if I tried.

At least I know that when I’m good and ready to that I can always try again since I’ve already done it before (and more than once). But for now I just have too many other mountains I’m trying to climb first and the thought of not having that pack of cigarettes in my pocket as I attempt to climb to the top of that mountain is like forgetting to put on your helmet or tie on your harness as you start to climb.

Thank you for continuing to follow my journey and for not giving up on me as I attempt to climb that mountain.  

#climbingmountains #addictions #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #dontsufferinsilence #yourmentalhealthmatters #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #panicattacks #selfcare #suicideawareness #endthestigmatogether #innercritic #bekindtoyourself

Giving Tuesday

Today is “Giving Tuesday” which has become a recognized day of giving all across the Globe. It takes place on the first Tuesday after Black Friday and is a day for people to give back and/or volunteer for their favourite causes and Non-Profits.

“Giving Tuesday” is also the official kick-off to the holiday season, better known as the “Season of Giving”.

December is about making human connections and bringing good will and simple joy to others, however this December is sadly going to look and feel a whole lot different than in years past for much of the world.

So as we begin this final stretch of 2020 today (yay!) let’s all start by spreading as much hope and kindness as is humanly possible to others during the month ahead, and of course don’t forget to keep some of it for yourself as well. Remember that “no act of kindness is ever too small”.

http://www.givingtuesday.ca

#givingtuesday #spreadkindness #givehopetoothers #youareenough #selfcare #selflove #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #checkonyourlovedones #togetherapart #wereallinthistogether #strongertogether #FU2020

Words of Encouragement

Waking up to this beautiful note this morning on Facebook messenger is a very illuminating reminder to me as to why I continue to write about and share my story with you.

Every time I receive personal messages like this one from friends (new or old), acquaintances and even strangers alike it gives me the strength and courage to keep doing what I do in order to help end the stigma and it further validates for me just how important it is to be completely honest with yourself about your own struggles and to be as open as possible with others as well.

I’ve said it many, many, many times before but if sharing my story as openly and honestly as I can will help make a difference in someone else’s life, will impact someone else’s journey in a positive light or will start a difficult conversation with a loved one then I will continue to do so.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Laurie for taking the time to reach out to me today, it truly meant so much.

I can still so clearly remember the day you trusted in me and shared with such raw emotions the story of your brother’s suicide and even though it was only about 13 years ago it wasn’t a conversation I had ever had before with anyone.

Society and stigma have come a long way since you lost your beautiful brother 18 years ago but there is still so much work to be done and I truly appreciate your kindness and support and wanted to share your words in hopes that someone else reading this today will find their inner strength to keep the conversation going.

#youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #endthestigmatogether #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #speakyourtruth #advocate #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #suicideprevention

Spiritual Healing

Tonight Rich and I participated in a spiritual healing service via Zoom with Rabbi Fryer Bodzin and some of her congregants from Beth Tzedec Congregation. The last time we participated in a service it was in person just 10 days prior to the lockdown in March.

We all long for some kind of connection in our life and many of us need that connection more than ever before but what we often forget is how important it is to make time to find that same connection within ourselves as well.

For the past few years I have been doing a lot of “soul searching” by trying to take a step back and re-examine my life in the hope of finding true and meaningful ways to replenish my soul and find strength in God.

Thank you Rabbi for giving of your time to allow for us to ask ourselves difficult questions and to find some strength, continuation and renewal within our soul.

#spiritualhealing #strength #connection #soulsearching #youareenough #forgiveness

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