Giving and receiving a name at birth differs from culture to culture and is oftentimes followed by a significant ceremony or ritual. This name is incredibly unique to you and offers up your identity but does it really define who you are as a person?
Have you ever wished you could change your name? What would your new name signify for you? Would you still be the same person you are right now or would you become someone totally different?
Plenty of us are feeling less and less like ourselves these days and could really use some kind of change in our lives, anything at all for that matter. So why not start by trying a new name on for size today just for fun, unless of course maybe it kinda sticks with you!
What name would you choose for the day?
Just out of curiosity, what went into choosing your children’s names?
Would you consider those same guidelines for choosing your own new name?
It was seven years ago today that I uttered the words “I want to die” for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that I felt hopeless and alone for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that my life no longer felt purposeful for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that I felt broken for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that I felt unlovable for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that I lost my way for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that I felt like the world was better off without me for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that I felt an abundance of sadness and shame come over me for the very first time.
It was seven years ago today that my life was about to change forever and I felt too powerless and helpless to stop it.
It was seven years ago today that I peered outside my bedroom window hoping to find myself somewhere out there.
It was seven years ago today that suddenly I felt a disconnect from the person I once was and with each passing year she seems to fade further and further from my mind.
But someone new emerged in her place that day instead and even though she still feels all those same emotions today that she did seven years ago her new identity has taught her so much more than she ever thought imaginable about both herself and others.
Her new identity has learned to embrace the difficult moments as a way to grow and co-exist with herself.
Her new identity has learned how to create more meaning in her life.
Her new identity has learned ways to stop running from herself by using the anchor she has been given when she needs a break.
Her new identity has learned to recognize the pain and suffering in others with heartfelt compassion, empathy and kindness through the acceptance of her own pain and suffering.
Her new identity has learned how to ask for help and how to advocate for those who aren’t quite able to yet.
Her new identity has found her voice, one that she no longer takes for granted.
Her new identity has become stronger and more resilient than she truly realizes or gives herself enough credit for.
Her new identity has learned the importance of making self-care her number one priority.
Her new identity has learned how to set limits and enforce healthy boundaries which has in turn created deeper, more meaningful bonds with the people in her life.
And she is grateful. Not for all that she has necessarily lost since that very first day seven years ago but for all that she has gained and learned since then. And it’s alot.
This picture (which popped up on my Facebook “Memory Wall” early this morning) not only captures Jacob’s goofy, loveable personality but it also captures the true essence of what passion, commitment, determination and hard work all look like as well.
Seeing it quickly reminded me just how much I miss watching him play hockey (even if being a goalie mom is one of the most stressful things ever lol) and it also reminded me of a piece I wrote (before I started my actual blog) near the end of Jacob’s last season in Minor League Hockey and well, I just felt like sharing it with you one more time.
**Spoiler alert: he has never stopped being part of a team since leaving the Minor League Hockey world; that was until stupid Covid forced him to take a break last Spring.
*Original Post: Feb 1, 2016*
For the past 12 years being a hockey mom has been a huge part of who I am. I still remember putting Jacob on the ice in his first year of House League all dressed in his hockey gear and hardly able to skate and then, BOOM; the goalie skated by him and they accidentally collided into one another and Jacob broke his wrist.
Fast forward 2 years, Jacob waiting patiently for his turn to play goalie in a tournament. He did such an amazing job and from that day forward Jacob’s dream of becoming a goalie was fulfilled.
One year later he joined a more competitive level team with his friends which has now become our family for the last 9 years. He has improved and worked hard to become a successful goalie since then through perseverance, training, coaching and his love of being a goalie.
Throughout the years hockey has defined our family dynamics, always working our lives around where the next game or tournament is; yes, being a hockey Mom has been a title I will hold near and dear to my heart forever. The ups and downs, I wouldn’t change a thing. But now what?
With only a handful of games left in what is Jacob’s final year of minor league hockey (and hopefully a few more if they make the playoffs), I am sure he will continue to play for many years to come in the adult world but what about the hockey Mom? Where does that leave me?
No more schlepping from one end of the GTA to the other, no more car stinking like a pair of dirty socks, no more cheering when the team scores the game winning goal and no more hockey family.
I have dreaded this day coming for a long time now but I know that Jacob’s commitment he has made to his teammates and coaches alike through the last 12 years will help to define him as he faces many new challenges ahead of him and well, as for me, I will always be grateful for what hockey has given him, and what he has given me; his “Hockey Mom” ❤
Thank you so much Joy for inviting me to share my journey tonight and to talk about the importance of educating both children and adults alike on mental illness and the stigma surrounding it on your “Wellness Wednesday” segment on Instagram Live. And for also giving me the opportunity to read my children’s book “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” as well.
You are a true inspiration to so many and have such a magical way of spreading joy and kindness to every life you touch.
Please follow Joy’s Instagram page @mrsbiswatchingme for her daily dose of love and light.
It’s no secret that the pandemic has caused serious disruptions and added stress to all of our lives since it began a year ago which has also led to an even bigger mental health crisis, especially among our youth.
Between dealing with the constant disruptions in their routine, being isolated from their friends, fearing that they or someone they love will get sick and the added financial stressors that many families are now facing, it is quite understandable.
These concerns (and many others) that our youth are facing right now is making them more vulnerable than ever before to Depression, Anxiety, Eating Disorders, Addiction and Suicidal Ideations.
Kids who have never exhibited signs of a mental health disorder or mental distress prior to Covid-19 are taking their own lives at alarming rates and many of them sadly choose to stay silent, most likely feeling alone and scared that their life will never get better.
Communication and connection are critical for our young people. Parents need to be even more vigilant than ever when it comes to their children’s mental health. We know our kids best.
Talk to them. Ask them how they are doing, and then keep asking them. Check in with them, check in with them often and then listen. If something feels off, always trust your Mama and Papa Bear instincts because not everyone who thinks about Suicide will willingly want to talk about it.
Signs to look out for:
Making suicidal statements.
Being preoccupied with death.
Giving away belongings.
Having aggressive or hostile behaviour.
Neglecting personal appearance.
A change in personality.
Intense sadness and/or hopelessness.
Not caring about activities that used to matter.
Social withdrawal from family, friends, sports, social activities.
Substance abuse.
Sleep disturbances.
Risky behavior.
Inability to think clearly/concentration problems.
Declining school performance.
Increased irritability.
Changes in appetite.
***Boston’s Children’s Hospital***
If you or someone you know is in crisis or in need of immediate help please call 911 or go to your nearest hospital. Or call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1.833.456.4566 or Kids Help Phone at 1.800.668.6868
Some days you may feel like eating ice cream for breakfast.
Today when I woke up it felt like that was the kind of a day it was for me.
If today feels that way for you too, it’s okay; give yourself permission to eat the ice cream for breakfast but don’t forget to pour some sprinkles on top too!
People often think that the only way to achieve a goal is by taking “big steps” but that isn’t necessarily going to get you there any faster or with any greater success.
As someone suffering with depression and anxiety I can tell you firsthand that taking smaller steps toward any attainable goal can and will have a much greater impact.
For starters, small steps help get you started and can feel far less overwhelming.
But this past week I forgot all that while being faced with extreme overwhelm and instead I found myself trying to push away the overwhelm by taking too many “big steps” (ginormous is more like it) up my ladder and all at once.
I should have known better that this idea would likely backfire on me and when I finally realized days later that what I was doing was in fact only causing me further overwhelm I was already in dire need to alleviate it.
It was at that moment that I took a deep breath and stepped off the ladder all together which allowed me to find my footing once again and start back up the ladder using smaller more attainable steps.
I was so completely overwhelmed that I misjudged how many rungs were on the ladder and that because they were all securely in place there should’ve been no reason for me to try and skip any steps as I began climbing up.
My missteps could’ve been a recipe for complete disaster but when I regained my footing and began climbing back up the ladder using smaller steps it in turn added up to much “bigger” results.
Taking smaller steps for me ensures greater success, makes many of my decisions much more manageable and can free my mind from those bigger distractions as well.
I know I have a much better understanding these days as to how critical it is to take those smaller steps (even if my illness tries to persuade me in another direction) in order to create momentum and improve my productivity and performance which can allow me to stick with a goal more easily.
What small steps would you like to take this week?
YouAreEnough 
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