Burn Baby Burn

 

Over the past week my mind and my heart have been in a constant tug of war with one another and the amount of sadness, anger, guilt and fear I’m feeling right now is unbearable. 

Late last night when I couldn’t sleep (as usual) and my mind was spinning out of control (as usual) I began writing down many of my negative thoughts (on an actual piece of paper) in order to release some of the pain in my heart and maybe bring a little bit of clarity to my mind. 

As more and more thoughts were emerging onto the piece of paper I began to see a lot of my past and present relationships emerging too, many of whom may have caused me a great amount of negative energy at one time or another in my life.

It was at that moment, while in complete darkness that I saw this as an opportunity to try something I’ve needed to do for a very long time now but haven’t been able to find the courage to. 

It’s been told to me many times over the last several years by health care professionals that it can be a very therapeutic tool to try and a great way to release any old emotional wounds or help to heal some of the heaviness from certain relationships that have caused me pain or betrayal and may very well be holding me back.

I began writing very personal, handwritten letters to several of these relationships, both past and present in order to let go of some of the emotional wounds that are taking up too much space in my mind and negative energy in my heart right now.

I wrote it all down, including the hard stuff, the unanswered questions and the things that I could never say aloud. It felt cathartic but at the same time it was a very emotional exercise right up until the moment that I took a deep deep breath and waited to exhale as I tore each piece of paper up one by one and then watched them burn.

**Go ahead, try it for yourself **

#nationalsuicidepreventionawarenessmonth #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #mentalillness #itsoktonotbeok #masksoff #endthestigmatogether #checkonyourlovedones #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #suicide #suicideprevention #letterwriting #handwritten #burnbabyburn 

Who Needs A Hug Today?

I know the one thing that many of us are really missing and craving most in our lives right now is the gentle touch of a hug from friends and family. 

For many individuals it has been well over 4 months since they have been able to feel the warmth of a hug or any other kind of positive physical touch for that matter which is definitely starting to have a very negative impact on many people’s mental health.

Even though more and more communities are starting to reopen slowly (in Ontario and much of Canada that is) and more and more things are starting to return to “normal” (but what is normal anymore?), the one thing that still remains the same is that we need to continue to be vigilant when it comes to physical distancing because if we let our guard down too much or too soon there could be even further and other detrimental consequences to our actions. 

It is unnatural for most human beings to live without any kind of physical touch at all. Positive physical touch is soothing, it’s calming and scientifically speaking, it is of the utmost importance to our wellbeing. 

Whether it’s just as simple as a tap on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a high five, a squeeze of the hand, a stroke of the arm, a kiss on the cheek or a warm embrace, the power that physical touch has on both our bodies and minds can easily let someone know that no matter what, it’s all going to be okay and who amongst us doesn’t need to feel that extra sense of safety and security right about now?

But in the meantime as we continue to wait out the storm lets all celebrate International Self-Care Day today by taking care of you first. Try giving some of that extra love you are missing or craving so much to yourself instead with a great big ole bear hug and remember to hold on as long and as tightly as you need.

#thepoweroftouch #whoneedsahug #physicaltouch #positivephysicaltouch #physicaldistancing #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #blogger #youarenotalone #therapeutic #pettherapy #mindfulness #internationalselfcareday #bearhug

I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying


It’s been a very overwhelming week for me with a lot of mixed emotions. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and emotions with you, along with a handful of the 100’s of special messages I’ve received over the last several weeks and a short video that the management team at Kids Help Phone sent me as a small token of thanks and appreciation. 

But I truly couldn’t have done any of this alone and as I wrap up my “Class of 2020” Graduation Initiative and reflect back on the last 6 weeks I want to make sure that I say thank you to everyone who helped make this Campaign the incredible success that it was. I will start by saying thank you to the nearly 700 young graduates whose smiles and gratitude have been forever captured upon first sight of their front lawn, their front window or even their schoolyard playground decorated with a sign honouring their efforts and a reflection of a time in their lives that acknowledges so much more than a feeling of loss and sadness but of a time in their life when they became warriors and battled through the loss and sadness with such resilience and strength.

Thank you to the 100’s of parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends who made sure that their special Graduate’s efforts did not go unnoticed starting from Kindergarten all the way up to Medical School Graduations. And another thank you as well to all of you for acknowledging the incredible efforts of Kids Help Phone with your generous donations which helped raise $10,000 and ensure that more young people feel less alone.

I also want to say thank to Josh Benezrah for making sure that each and every sign that I ordered was printed and delivered to me with lots and lots of TLC. And to my amazing friend Shawna Smoke who once again helped turn my vision into a reality. You are uber talented. 

And last but not least, to Rich who deserves an extra special thank you by giving a whole new meaning to the phrase “going the extra mile” as he spent the last month putting 100’s and 100’s of extra kilometers on his car, schlepping me to the ends of the earth some days, making sure each sign was perfectly in place on every lawn and letting me scream and cry whenever necessary!

You have all shown me the true meaning of teamwork. Please take a moment to watch the video from @KidsHelpPhone and if you would still like to make a donation you can do so at: youthareenough@gmail.com

https://www.dropbox.com/s/lhefdd0whkgbbqd/Thank you so much – NYC.mp4?dl=0

#keepdreaming #reachforthestars #nextchapter #graduationday #grads #classof2020 #ouryouthmatter #strongertogether #wereallinthistogether #youareenough #youarenotalone #endthestigmatogether #thankyou #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #selfcare #mentalwellness #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence 

Haters Gonna Hate


As of the end of day today I, along with my Co-Pilot Rich will have delivered approximately 300 lawn signs (give or take a few) across the Greater Toronto Area (and beyond) and we still have lots more to go. It’s been an incredibly overwhelming experience for me so far but more importantly it’s been an incredibly successful and rewarding one too. 

Every time I drop off a sign on someone’s front lawn (or porch) honouring one (or more) of our “Class of 2020” Graduates I have either been lucky enough to witness the surprise and gratitude on their face myself when they first see the sign or shortly thereafter I receive some of the most amazing and heartfelt messages and pictures of both support and appreciation from the recipient’s family where I find myself imagining the moment instead.

Either way I can tell you that it feels amazing knowing I have in some small way made a young person smile (and even do cartwheels). But yesterday someone tried to knock me down and when you’re already feeling vulnerable, it basically leaves you completely deflated (see blog: “Yesterday”; May 23, 2020)
Shortly after I delivered one sign in particular yesterday a woman messaged me to say how disappointed she was at the size of the sign (insert SMH) and then continued by saying how the sign looked much bigger in the photo that was taken for our local newspaper (SMH again). I politely replied to her that I’m sorry she felt that way but I guess the editors of the paper purposely enlarged the photo of the sign to get the readers attention (I’m also pretty sure there’s a name for that, however I’m no expert in the field of Marketing and Advertising). 

I guess that now I know for the next time there is a Global Pandemic and our kids have to endure more loss and disappointment in their lives I would insist that there be a Legal Disclaimer attached to any pictures in the paper saying “Size May Vary”. 

I continued to tell “The Hater” that the lawn signs are all a standard size and if you are to compare them to every other company lawn sign in your neighborhood it is the same size and maybe even a bit bigger than others. But I also told “The Hater” that the point of the sign was not for its size but rather a small tribute to their child (or children) who are missing out on so much in their lives right now. I also told her that sadly she has forgotten what these signs were meant to represent in the first place and that I have only received kindness and support from 300 other families thanking me for doing what I am doing for such a great cause (SMH). @kidshelpphone

I know I shouldn’t let this “Hater” take up space in my head or try to knock me down. You can’t please everyone all of the time and some people get satisfaction from being hurtful and what’s even worse is that some people live with so much hate in their hearts which is just so sad, but besides all that, haven’t we always been taught that “Size doesn’t matter”!!! (SMFH)

#kindness #kindnessmatters #graduationday #lawnsigns #classof2020 #ouryouthmatter #hatersgonnahate #youareenough #nowords #shakemyhead #smh @bellletstalk 

This Is Us; 25 Years Later

It was exactly 25 years ago today that the fabulous and fun loving photographer Elliot Sylman captured the true beauty and essence of one of the best days in both Rich’s and my life and so what better way to honour our 25th Wedding Anniversary today (since that cruise around the world I had all planned out in my head ain’t happening😛) than to have that same fabulous and fun loving photographer capture the true beauty and essence of our life together 25 years later with his amazing Covid-19 Initiative @theporchpics.

Several months ago (Pre-Covid-19) I mentioned to Rich that I had a really strong desire to renew our wedding vows for our 25th Anniversary. He kinda laughed it off each time I brought it up and thought I was kinda kidding whenever I did, but deep down inside I kinda wasn’t.

As most of you already know by now, the last six years have been bloody hell for us and has left our marriage tried, tested and completely put through the wringer somedays but through it all our marriage has stood the test of time.

Marriage takes a lot of hard work and a mutual understanding, it takes tears and forgiveness, it takes good communication, it takes lots and lots of laughter and fun and it takes sacrifice and compromise mixed in with a whole lot of unconditional love.

I’m not really sure why I’ve had the overwhelming desire to renew our wedding vows, but today as we take each other’s hand and jump feet first together into our Second Act, somehow doing @theporchpics with my beautifully imperfect family by my side is all the renewal I truly need right now. 

I love you to the moon and back Rich, you are my forever and a day. Thank you for keeping me safe and for all that you are and all that you do for our family; there is no one else in this great big crazy world I’d rather be quarantined with either!! In SICKNESS and in HEALTH until death do us part.

#thisisus #twentyfive #silveranniversary #happyanniversary #everyoneneedsarich #myreasonswhy #myeverything #mybetterhalf #summerofrich #summerofus #ourfamily #family #familymatters #weddingvows #celebration #youareenough #cheers #renewal #theloveofafamily #throughgoodtimesandbad #insicknessandinhealth #honestlyspeaking #imperfectlyperfect #imperfectlybeautiful #cheerstomanymore #strongertogether #quarantineanniversary #mentalhealth #mentalillness #depression #anxiety @reenafoundation

Giving Back Feels Good

“It’s better to give than to receive”. I placed an order this morning for another 100 +++ more “Class of 2020” lawn signs which are set to be delivered later this week to so many deserving Graduates…and I’m not quite done yet. You still have a bit more time left before I place my final order so contact me if you would like to honour a special Graduate in your life.

Giving back feels good and whether you’re giving of your time or giving of your money, if giving back has the potential to change even just one life for the better it’s all worthwhile. @kidshelpphone

A Lovely Stranger

On our way home from delivering some lawn signs this afternoon throughout the Brampton, Mississauga, Oakville, Milton and Burlington area Rich and I happened upon a Trail that we probably would have otherwise never knew existed. 

We decided to park our car and go explore the trail for a bit and try to enjoy some of the sunshine and warmth of the beautiful spring day (finally!). 

Something (or maybe someone) pulled us to the direction of this Trail today because while walking down the path we came upon this note (see pics) that was left purposefully on the ground next to some painted rocks. I bent down and read the note (don’t worry I didn’t touch it!) and then snapped a picture of it to hold on to because some “lovely stranger” left me a message today of hope and kindness and now I want to pass it along to you. XOXO 

#kindness #payitforward #ineededthistoday #kindnessmatters #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #summerofrich #summerofus #nature #babygeese #spiritualhealing #passiton #nature

Who’s Counting?

It’s been 4 Months, 121 Days, 2,907 Hours, 174,240 Minutes and 10,454,400 Seconds (give or take!) since I smoked my last cigarette; but who’s counting? 🚬🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🙋‍♀️

#thelongestfourmonthsever #concussion #quitsmoking #coldturkey #smokefree #covid19 #coronavirus #mentalhealth #physicalhealth #youareenough #istillcraveiteveryday #holdingmyselfaccountable

Even Superheroes Fall Down

*May Be Triggering*

I’m sure that many of you reading this have heard about the recent deaths by Suicide of several Frontline Workers in the news.  Even before there was such a thing as Covid-19 certain occupations have always been at greater risk for experiencing Mental Health challenges such as PTSD or Suicidal tendencies.  Among them are of course some of our bravest and most courageous Paramedics, Police Officers and Firefighters who are exposed to the most traumatic events or circumstances imaginable.  

Now we must sadly add to the list of occupations to which PTSD and Suicide rates will likely soar in the months ahead given that the rise has already begun. It may not happen all at once, in fact, many of the Frontline Workers and First Responders could experience an “aftershock” of the Pandemic when life starts to settle down and get back to “normal” (a term I use very loosely these days).  

But for many other Healthcare professionals and First Responders they are in the here and now of the Pandemic and even though they may be our Superheroes they are also human beings first, being faced with extreme and unprecedented situations. Many of these brave men and women are carrying with them a very heavy overload through every long and gruelling shift they work and beyond which can also leave them with very little time to be able to release the traumatic events from their minds before moving onto the next one.

Most people who choose an occupation in Healthcare or as a First Responder were probably drawn to their profession because they wanted to help others and protect them from suffering or pain but now with the inordinate amount of death they are facing each day it is taking a further toll on their Mental Health and Wellbeing. For many of these Healthcare professionals and First Responders they are beginning to feel a heavy burden on them when they are unable to save a life, or they may be feeling powerless or defeated due to working with limited resources in many places around the world and many, many more are just simply burnt-out no matter how strong others may perceive them to be.

So our Superheroes need to be taken care of more than ever before. They need to know that it’s just as brave and courageous to take time for themselves whenever they are not working as they would take care of their patients. They need to make sure to practice setting healthy boundaries and to ensure that they stay grounded and mindful each day and of course they may need a helpful reminder that it’s okay to not be okay and that it’s more than okay to ask for help. If you know a Frontline worker or First Responder or are lucky enough to love a Frontline Worker or First Responder go check on them now and for the rest of you leave a heart emoji in the comments to honour our Superheroes.

if you are in crisis and need support go to your nearest hospital or call your local distress center for help.

#frontlineworkers #firstresponders #courage #bravery #suicide #suicideprevention #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #checkonyourlovedones #masksofff #ptsd #mentalhealth #selfcare #mentalillness #itsoktonotbeok #strongertogether #togetherapart #staysafe #stayhome #flattenthecurve #physicaldistance #bekind #parmedics #firefighters #policeofficers #healthcareprofessionals #doctors #nurses

Mental Health And Covid-19

Recently I’ve received several notifications that my “STATS” are “booming” on my WordPress (blog) site YouAreEnough (https://youareenough712.wordpress.com). The last time I had such a huge spike in stats like this was on Christmas Day and although I have a great sense of pride knowing that people are reading my posts and hopefully finding some comfort in them, I also know that many more are finding my posts because they may be feeling more vulnerable than usual or overwhelmed due to our current world crisis. 

Today on the news it was reported that there has been an increase of more than 40% of people suffering with Mental Health challenges in Canada over the last month especially anxiety related. That is some super scary and super alarming statistics but not surprising at all.  For most of society we are living in unprecedented times and not only facing a super scary and super alarming economical downfall but a super psychological one as well.

Being forced into quarantine has no doubt caused a wide range of psychological fear and worry for even the most seemingly high functioning members of society. If nothing else, being in lockdown can cause an individual to have low mood swings or irritability for sure but mix in some insomnia with a dose of physical exhaustion, anger, anxiety and depression and suddenly you have a whole different crisis on hand.

I am surprisingly quite calm when it comes to the fear that I myself or a loved one will contract the virus itself so for me and many others the increase in psychological issues stem mainly from the uncertainty that lies ahead and when we will begin to resume our daily life again and more importantly; How?  For many individuals it’s also not having their regular support systems nearby whether it’s support from a loved one or being able to go to their office every day or maybe for others it’s not having access to places like the public library or the school yard where they feel most safe.

But whatever the reasons are that are causing a surge in Mental Health issues right now just remember that you are not alone. I encourage you to reach out to someone you feel comfortable talking to whether it’s a mental health professional or a trusted confidant or someone who understands what you are feeling and while you’re at it, make sure you are getting fresh air everyday if you can and try keeping to as regular a routine as possible however that may look.

#covid19 #pandemic #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #advocate #stats #youareenough #noshame #startaconversation #youarenotalone #dontsufferinsilence #mentalillness #depression #family #anxiety #masksoff #checkonyourlovedones #togetherapart #stayhome #flattenthecurve #physicaldistance