Category: relaxation

The Voice of Depression

*May be triggering to some*

My emotions are running high and forever changing.

I’m irritable.

I can’t sleep.

I’m fatigued.

My anxiety is persistent.

I’m sad and overwhelmed.

My thoughts are dark.

This is the voice of Depression.

It makes me want to scream.

My efforts to drown out its voice is met with great resistance and gets louder and more intense the harder I try to resist it.

It wears me down.

It thrives on pain.

At times,

It can be very intrusive.

At other times,

Convincing.

I cannot let it win.

Not Suicide.

Not today.

If you or someone you know is in crisis text 45645 to connect with a counselor or go to your nearest emergency room.

#voiceofdepression #notsuicidenottoday #camh #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #mentalhealth #keepfuckinggoing #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #suicideawareness #suicideprevention

Belly Flop

***May be triggering***

I’m a fixer, but not everything feels “fixable”.

Being a fixer is exhausting.

It takes ALOT of your energy.

And it creates ALOT of worry and stress. 

I realize that I can’t always fix everything or everyone.

Not everything or everyone is fixable, no matter how hard you try. 

And maybe that includes me.

Suffering with Chronic Depression and Anxiety is overwhelming. It’s overbearing. It’s unpredictable. It’s debilitating. 

It feels like it’s winning right now. 

I’ve tried to fix it. I’ve distracted it. I’ve told it to stop. I’ve suppressed it. I’ve used positive thinking to counteract my negative thoughts. 

It’s really not that simple though.

It feels like it’s winning and I truly feel unfixable right now. 

It follows me around twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. 

It won’t leave me alone. It won’t give me a break. It’s unrelenting.

It’s a never-ending thought loop that’s left me feeling vulnerable,  helpless and indefensible.

It’s like a belly flop. I feel the pain on impact. It’s a stinging pain. It leaves a bruise.

I’ve never perfected the art of diving. There are many techniques to learn in order to successfully complete the perfect dive.

The perfect dive can’t be rushed.

Sometimes you may need to keep your feet at the end of the diving board just a little bit longer to ensure you have the proper footing before you can jump.

Have you ever felt unfixable?

#unfixable #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #vulnerable #selfcare #suicideawareness #bellyflop #jumpfirst

Sleep Is A Bloody Nightmare

Yesterday I did an hour long aqua fit class in the morning and then went on a two hour long hike in the scorching heat later that afternoon. 

This sounds like the perfect recipe for a good night’s sleep, right? Well apparently not for someone like myself whose anxiety and depression really don’t give a flying fuck how exhausted you are. 

By dinnertime last night I could barely keep my eyes open but as soon as my head hit the pillow, that dream of getting a good night’s sleep once again turned into a nightmare, an anxiety infused nightmare. 

I have found myself tossing and turning more and more lately and I can’t seem to find a comfortable place to lay my head anymore which is probably because my brain and subconscious mind are too damn busy gearing itself up for its long night of torture ahead.

Sleep is meant to give both our bodies and minds time to recuperate from the stresses of the day but for the better part of seven years now sleep has been one of my biggest hurdles toward recovery. 

As the night progresses and the house becomes more and more quiet is usually when the noises in my head become the loudest and most heightened. 

My brain never shuts off, even when I do fall asleep. I can easily go from any state of sleep to waking suddenly by a trigger or a rush of adrenaline where feelings of impending doom kick in to high gear, leading to a full on panic attack about something that occurred earlier that day or that a loved one may be in danger, or worse. 

Sleep can be truly exhausting 😪

#sleepdeprivation #sleeplessnights #tossingandturning #nightterrors #nightmares #depression #anxiety #exhaustian #suicidalthoughts #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mindfulness #impendingdoom #panicattacks #youareenough #youarenotalone #yourmentalhealthmatters

Monday Motivation: Summertime Self-Care Ideas

Today is the first full day of summer and it just so happens to also be “World Naked Hiking Day” too. 

Summertime for many of us often means more time to enjoy the daylight hours, more time to relax and more time for adventure. 

Summer is also the perfect season to refocus our energy on our mental and physical health which may have been lacking over the previous months as well.

So I’ve created a list of some very simple ideas for ways in which you can incorporate the all too important self-care into your summertime routine. 

1. Go for a long hike or a walk in nature (bring lots of bug spray if you decide to go naked!)

2. Use sidewalk chalk

3. Run through a sprinkler

4. Do yoga outside

5. Pack a blanket and enjoy a picnic in the park

6. Roast marshmallows 

7. Visit a farmer’s market

8. Watch the sun rise

9. Go out for ice cream 

10. Star gaze

11. Bird watch

12. Take an evening stroll at sunset

13. Play with water balloons

14. Have a backyard barbecue with friends and family

15. Make a playlist of music that reminds you of summer when you were a kid

16. Play with bubbles

17. Make lemonade out of lemons

18. Enjoy a good book

19. Drink lots of water

20. Take a road trip

21. Get lots of Vitamin D

22. Bake your favourite summertime treat 

23. Dance in the rain

24. Keep a journal of your summertime self-care

25. Discover a new hobby or reinvent an old one

26. Set new goals

Feel free to add anything I may have missed.

What do you look most forward to about summer?

#selfcare #mondaymotivation #summertimeselfcare #firstdayofsummer #summerishere #worldnakedhikingday #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #yourmentalhealthmatters #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #bekindtoyourself #beinthemoment #takecareofyourmentalhealth #nature #summerofrich 

Unwrapping The Gift Of Family Time

My illness has made me feel so out of control too many times to count.

It’s a very scary feeling. 

I don’t fair well with chaos and disorder.

I need to cross every “t” and dot every “i” in everything I do. 

I make lists and I check them twice (well its probably closer to a dozen times).

When I feel like I’m losing control over a situation I become extremely overwhelmed.

I think much of my obsessive and compulsive behaviours when it comes to control stem from my childhood, a time when I never truly felt like I had any control over my own life, nor given free reign to make my own decisions or mistakes. 

This weekend was meant for my family and I to celebrate ME. 

They organized everything, leaving no stone unturned (or meal and snack unplanned either). 

However, leading up to the weekend my need to take control overwhelmed me. 

But this weekend was not meant for me to get overwhelmed. 

It was meant for me to sit back, relax, be in the moment and not get caught up in every little detail. 

The kids and Rich could see the  overwhelm surrounding me throughout the week.

I tried my darndest to remove myself from any of the chaos and disorder. 

They reassured me over and over again.

“Mom, don’t worry, we’ve got this!” was repeated on a daily basis.

And boy were they were right. 

They didn’t miss a beat.

No stone went left unturned.

Every “t” was crossed and every “i” dotted. 

Words cannot begin to describe how much this weekend truly meant to me or how truly appreciative and grateful I am for the love my family. 

They may not always “get” me and that’s OK because they “get” what truly matters.

Memories were made to last a lifetime this weekend, laughter was in abundance and I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect gift than the gift of quality time with my perfectly imperfect family.

#iloveyoutothemoonandback #wevegotthis #perfectlyimperfect #familymatters #familyfirst #youareenough #cottagelife #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #nature #hiking #kahshelake #lakeofhealingwaters #funinthesun #turningfifty #birthdaygetaway #agiftoftime #peaceful #therapeutic #campfire #smores #summerofrich #happyfathersday #selfcare #blessed

Happy Graduation Hannah

Tonight we celebrated Hannah’s Graduation from Ryerson University.

Her continued dedication, hard work, determination and commitment to succeed over the past four years not only earned Hannah a Degree in Communications but it also earned her a very well deserved placement on the Dean’s List for one last time this semester. 

Dad and I couldn’t be more proud of all that you have accomplished and we can’t wait to see what awaits you this coming Fall (but first stop, CAMP!!!!) as you embark on the next chapter of your journey at Humber College in Event Management.

We know that whatever path you choose in life you are certain to shine.

~Your education is a dress rehearsal for a life that is yours to lead ~ Nora Ephron

Don’t ever stop being you🥰❤

#happygraduation #mazeltov #hannahbanana #proudparents #greatjob #classof2021 #neverstopbeingyou #ryersonuniversity #humbercollege #eventmanagement #communications #youdidit #ouryouthmatter #weloveyoutothemoonandback #youareenough

National Health and Fitness Day

Today’s #summerofrich adventure was a hot one!

It included photo-ops of the enchanted Victorian-like/Cat In The Hat-style “Dollhouse cottages” we saw as we walked along the historic neighbourhing streets surrounding Grimsby Beach

a picnic lunch

skipping rocks

ice cream and root beer floats

and the best photo-op of all; our fur babies and good friends.

Today is National Health and Fitness Day.

Today was a perfect reminder of how much we all need to participate in activities these days (now more than ever) that contribute to both our physical health and mental our well-being.

What did you do to exercise your body and mind today?

#familymatters #hotinthecity #nature #beach #beauty #ontarioisourstodiscover #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #covidfatigue #selfcare #friends #friendship #friendswhoarefamily #exerciseyourmindandbody #youareenough #yourmentalhealthmatters #nationalhealthandfitnessday

My Self-Care Today

I really needed this today.

I am struggling alot right now.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to so many of you who have checked in on me over the past few days.

It may seem so little to some but to many others like myself who may be struggling right now, the thought could go a really long way.

#summerofrich #milnedamconservationpark #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depression #anxiety #suicideprevention #selfcare #checkonyourlovedones #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #familymatters #yourmentalhealthmatters #milnedamconservationpark #nature #outdoors #trails #longweekend #maytwofourweekend

Monday Motivation: I Am More Than My Mental Illness (Mental Health Week May 3-9)

The truth is I don’t see it often and to be perfectly honest I mostly only see it when others point it out to me but I am so much more than my mental illness. 

I spend most of my waking hours convincing myself that I am incapable, that I am worthless and that I am a burden to everyone in my life. 

I am forever apologizing for my mental illness. 

I am forever feeling guilty because of my mental illness.

I am forever feeling like a failure because of my mental illness. 

I am forever left feeling broken and suicidal because of my mental illness. 

And I am forever feeling like a prisoner in my own mind because of my mental illness.

Being labelled with a disorder of any kind doesn’t make you any less than the beautiful, amazing person that you already are. 

Labeling someone for their shortcomings can be damaging and we should never let it define us. 

Even though my mind literally has a mind of it’s own, my heart will tell you that I am so much more than my mental illness. It even says so right here on this list.

I AM:

Valuable 

Worthy of respect 

Respected

Kind

Generous

Worthy of love

Deeply loved

Thoughtful

Resourceful 

Smart

Funny

Honest

Ambitious 

Creative

Dedicated 

Skilled at all sorts of things 

Resilient 

Driven by integrity and values

A good mother

A good wife

A good friend

Enough 

I am more than my shortcomings.

I am more than my labels.

I am more than my mental illness. 

And you are too.

What do you see in yourself from this list? Feel free to add more.

I AM…

#mentalhealthweek #mondaymotivation #iam #youmatter #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #labels #shortcomings #morethan

Monday Motivation: Extra Extra,Read All About It

With another “Stay at Home” order in effect for Ontario now is the perfect time to delve into a good book. 

Reading not only entertains us but studies have shown that it can also improve our overall mental health too. 

Reading a good book is a great way for our minds to escape from our day to day stress or racing thoughts. 

It can help us unwind and relax. 

It keeps our minds sharp, improves our memory and cognitive skills and can help make our brains stronger. 

For me personally, I love to read Self-help and Personal Development books; many of which are autobiographical accounts of someone’s victorious mental health journey.

They can be very inspiring, therapeutic and healing. 

They can provide insight into our own limitations and help us grow stronger or become better humans.

Reading in general can feel very empowering, be very engaging and emotionally charging.

It can also enhance our creativity, productivity, outlook, competence and overall wellbeing.

So whether you prefer to curl up on the couch with a good self-help book, fiction, romance or something autobiographical, as you can see, reading has so many healthy benefits to it (just incase you were on the fence about taking up the hobby yourself!). 

So really, what do you have to lose?

What book are you reading now? 

What type of books do you prefer to read? 

#mondaymotivation #reading #books #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #selfcare #youareenough #selfhelp #fiction #biographies #yourmentalhealthmatters #bekindtoyourself #depression #anxiety