It’s National “Say Something Nice Day” today! Today is a gentle reminder that we always need to use kind words and show kindness and empathy toward one another every day. We’ve all heard the saying “Practice makes perfect” right? So today I dare you to say something nice to someone or about someone and that you continue to practice doing so each and every day moving foward to ensure we help make a better tomorrow.
There is also another saying that we have heard from a very young age which is “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Words can cut deep and once they are said they can’t be taken back so please choose your words carefully because our words matter.
And while you’re at it maybe you could drop off a jar of olives and a hazelnut cake to someone who needs a smile, a kind word or a gentle reminder that they matter because today is also National Olive Day and National Hazelnut Cake Day too!
It’s been a hundred and thirty something days since I’ve had a cigarette, not a hundred and thirty something days since I’ve desired a cigarette but a hundred and thirty something days since I last smoked one. There are many days (and nights) that go by now where I barely even think about smoking anymore but the days that I do are fucking hell and last night was probably the worst I’ve experienced, even more so than the first few days after I quit back in January. You all remember January; that cold, dark, dreary month of the year that we all wish we could go back in time to right now. Boy what I’d give to go back there now in a heartbeat, with my concussion and all!
Last night I had a panic attack which only exasperated the exhaustion and overwhelm I was already experiencing and I suddenly felt like a junkie who would do just about anything to get their next “fix”. If you have ever suffered with an addiction of any kind before (drug, alcohol, gambling etc) you can relate to how out of control I felt from my “need” to smoke NOW. I begged Rich to get me a pack of cigarettes and I began envisioning myself sitting on my front porch enjoying the beautiful spring air and thinking that having just 1 cigarette wouldn’t be a big deal at all.
It’s nights like this that have me thinking I will never be free of cigarettes. But then again is there really a specific timeline as to how long it should take a smoker of over 30 years to fully stop having the desire to smoke?
As of the end of day today I, along with my Co-Pilot Rich will have delivered approximately 300 lawn signs (give or take a few) across the Greater Toronto Area (and beyond) and we still have lots more to go. It’s been an incredibly overwhelming experience for me so far but more importantly it’s been an incredibly successful and rewarding one too.
Every time I drop off a sign on someone’s front lawn (or porch) honouring one (or more) of our “Class of 2020” Graduates I have either been lucky enough to witness the surprise and gratitude on their face myself when they first see the sign or shortly thereafter I receive some of the most amazing and heartfelt messages and pictures of both support and appreciation from the recipient’s family where I find myself imagining the moment instead.
Either way I can tell you that it feels amazing knowing I have in some small way made a young person smile (and even do cartwheels). But yesterday someone tried to knock me down and when you’re already feeling vulnerable, it basically leaves you completely deflated (see blog: “Yesterday”; May 23, 2020) Shortly after I delivered one sign in particular yesterday a woman messaged me to say how disappointed she was at the size of the sign (insert SMH) and then continued by saying how the sign looked much bigger in the photo that was taken for our local newspaper (SMH again). I politely replied to her that I’m sorry she felt that way but I guess the editors of the paper purposely enlarged the photo of the sign to get the readers attention (I’m also pretty sure there’s a name for that, however I’m no expert in the field of Marketing and Advertising).
I guess that now I know for the next time there is a Global Pandemic and our kids have to endure more loss and disappointment in their lives I would insist that there be a Legal Disclaimer attached to any pictures in the paper saying “Size May Vary”.
I continued to tell “The Hater” that the lawn signs are all a standard size and if you are to compare them to every other company lawn sign in your neighborhood it is the same size and maybe even a bit bigger than others. But I also told “The Hater” that the point of the sign was not for its size but rather a small tribute to their child (or children) who are missing out on so much in their lives right now. I also told her that sadly she has forgotten what these signs were meant to represent in the first place and that I have only received kindness and support from 300 other families thanking me for doing what I am doing for such a great cause (SMH). @kidshelpphone
I know I shouldn’t let this “Hater” take up space in my head or try to knock me down. You can’t please everyone all of the time and some people get satisfaction from being hurtful and what’s even worse is that some people live with so much hate in their hearts which is just so sad, but besides all that, haven’t we always been taught that “Size doesn’t matter”!!! (SMFH)
It’s okay to admit that you desire comfort in your life and I’m pretty sure that right now most of us are in dire need of some extra comfort.
Whether we need to be soothed or consoled or reassured; being comforted by someone can help lessen our sadness, our distress and our sorrow.
Yes we all have a desire for comfort in our life which can bring about feelings of contentment, feelings of relief and feelings of warmth. And even if comfort may look different to each one of us, just knowing that you have someone nearby who can lend an ear to you is definitely a great place to start.
I’m getting ready to deliver another trunk full of lawn signs to so many awesome “Class of 2020” Graduates. When I first started my Initiative a couple of weeks ago I never could have imagined the outpouring of support and appreciation I’d receive from so many parents, grandparents and loved ones alike.
Many of these parents and loved ones, like myself, are feeling truly helpless right now as we look for ways to help our child(ren) cope with their feelings of loss and disappointment from missing out on so many significant events in their lives and so many meaningful milestones.
The interview I did last week for the Thornhill Liberal is now available online. It is a perfect reflection as to why I began this Initiative and after reading it, it has given me the extra push I needed today to make sure I continue to put a smile on the faces of as many “Class of 2020” Graduates as I can and to raise as much money as possible to ensure that no child ever feels alone during Covid-19 and beyond.
Even though we may all be weathering the same storm together does not mean that we are doing so from the same boat. Some of us may feel like a castaway on a deserted island with a broken raft and no paddle to steer us home while others may feel like they are peacefully sailing through a remote Tropical Island in a big Yacht straight out of “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous”.
Some of us are enjoying this time to slowly paddle our boat on a private lake and breathe in the fresh air and see our reflection on the water and actually like what we see, but for many more of us we may just be trying to brave the heavy waves on the ocean without capsizing our boat and praying we don’t fall into the shark pit below.
For many of us we are all alone in our boat, and the murky water surrounding us feels empty and the skies above us are dark and then you suddenly look across the way from you and through the fog you can see another boat in the distance filled with the love of a family, singing and dancing without a cloud in the sky above them.
For many of us right now we don’t have the means to fix the holes in our boat and it feels like we are sinking very fast without having a life preserver to keep our head above the water while others are still able to put their feet up on deck and use this time to map out their next adventure, a relaxing sail around the world. And then there are those who have no time to dock their motorboat right now because they are too busy working to help the rest of us try and stay afloat.
Yes we are all in different boats and sailing on very different journeys but we still share the same land and water which is why now would be the perfect time for all of us to anchor our boats next to one another (6 feet apart of course), not so we can compare them, not so we can judge them but so we can unite together as we weather the storm.
I’m sure that many of you reading this have heard about the recent deaths by Suicide of several Frontline Workers in the news. Even before there was such a thing as Covid-19 certain occupations have always been at greater risk for experiencing Mental Health challenges such as PTSD or Suicidal tendencies. Among them are of course some of our bravest and most courageous Paramedics, Police Officers and Firefighters who are exposed to the most traumatic events or circumstances imaginable.
Now we must sadly add to the list of occupations to which PTSD and Suicide rates will likely soar in the months ahead given that the rise has already begun. It may not happen all at once, in fact, many of the Frontline Workers and First Responders could experience an “aftershock” of the Pandemic when life starts to settle down and get back to “normal” (a term I use very loosely these days).
But for many other Healthcare professionals and First Responders they are in the here and now of the Pandemic and even though they may be our Superheroes they are also human beings first, being faced with extreme and unprecedented situations. Many of these brave men and women are carrying with them a very heavy overload through every long and gruelling shift they work and beyond which can also leave them with very little time to be able to release the traumatic events from their minds before moving onto the next one.
Most people who choose an occupation in Healthcare or as a First Responder were probably drawn to their profession because they wanted to help others and protect them from suffering or pain but now with the inordinate amount of death they are facing each day it is taking a further toll on their Mental Health and Wellbeing. For many of these Healthcare professionals and First Responders they are beginning to feel a heavy burden on them when they are unable to save a life, or they may be feeling powerless or defeated due to working with limited resources in many places around the world and many, many more are just simply burnt-out no matter how strong others may perceive them to be.
So our Superheroes need to be taken care of more than ever before. They need to know that it’s just as brave and courageous to take time for themselves whenever they are not working as they would take care of their patients. They need to make sure to practice setting healthy boundaries and to ensure that they stay grounded and mindful each day and of course they may need a helpful reminder that it’s okay to not be okay and that it’s more than okay to ask for help. If you know a Frontline worker or First Responder or are lucky enough to love a Frontline Worker or First Responder go check on them now and for the rest of you leave a heart emoji in the comments to honour our Superheroes.
if you are in crisis and need support go to your nearest hospital or call your local distress center for help.
In my recent blog “It’s Raining On Prom Night 2020″(https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2020/04/18/its-raining-on-prom-night-2020) I spoke about my daughter’s High School Prom being cancelled and her Graduation Ceremony postponed indefinitely and although neither came as any big surprise they were still a hard pill to swallow nonetheless.
She, along with millions of youth are all dealing with so much emotion right now from anger to sadness to frustration to anxiety to disappointment and depression; all feelings which are perfectly valid and perfectly okay to feel as we continue to self-quarantine; unable to see our friends or family, unable to watch our favorite sports, unable to swing from the monkey bars, unable to participate in extracurricular activities or unable to attend Proms and Graduations.
After hearing so much emotional feedback from my blog I wanted to come up with a way in which we could still somehow honour our “Class of 2020” Grads from PRE-K to Post Graduate while at the same time making sure that no young person ever feels alone during Covid-19 and beyond.
I truly believe Kids Help Phone has helped revolutionize the meaning of #togetherapart by providing ongoing, confidential Mental Health support to our youth via phone, text and online as well; throughout Canada, 24/7 for the last 30 plus years now. They were made for this Pandemic and now they need our help more than ever to ensure that they can keep up with the ever growing demand for their services.
I find myself left with a heartwrenching feeling lately knowing that our young people (under 25) are at their most vulnerable right now while trying to navigate their way through this new norm and that this crisis could leave the greatest effect on their future selves between now and when this is all over; my only hope is that they all come out stronger than ever. But for now we need to keep lifting them up and reminding our young people every single day that their feelings matter, that it’s okay for them to feel sadness or disappointment, that it’s okay to be scared or unsure and that it’s more than okay to ask for help.
So let’s all celebrate a special someone in our life or community with a “Class of 2020” Graduation sign for your front lawn or anywhere else that you wish to display it and let’s make sure that every young person knows that help is never further than a phone call or text away. Please feel free to share 😘
*All proceeds/donations for my “Class of 2020” Graduation Campaign/Initiative will be given to Kids Help Phone*
*Signs will be set up or delivered right to your front lawn or porch; options available for image to print too. etransfer is preferred; $30 each*
*Available in Thornhill & GTA*
*Choose from 6 different designs*
*Kids Help Phone is always open: 1-800-668-6868, Text: 686868, or connect with someone online; adults welcome too*
*Message me on Facebook/Instagram or email me at: youthareenough@gmail.com to place your orders*
How many of you reading this remember keeping a secret diary hidden locked away underneath your mattress in your tween/teenage years? Boy what would I give to read those right now.
I haven’t kept a diary for probably over 30 years now but since my journey began 6 years ago I have spent many hours expressing my inner most thoughts and oftentimes in the good ole fashioned way using a pen and paper.
I recently took some time to reread one particular journal that I had kept during my very first in-patient hospital stay some 5.5 years ago and while I was reading it I suddenly realized just how important journaling can be.
Journaling can help you create a relationship of sorts with your mind. It can help you to attain your goals, it can give you a clearer view of the world around you and may help you to make important connections between your thoughts and behaviors.
Right now we are all probably dealing with some thoughts and feelings that we have never felt before and it’s completely understandable and 100 percent valid. Maybe now would be the perfect time to dust off that old diary or start a new journal.
Think of it as a creative activity which can definitely be quite cathartic. It will make you more aware of your thoughts and behaviors and even help you sort out some new perspectives and shift a negative mindset to a more positive one.
I have been encouraging my whole family to start journaling at least once a day (it’s a great tool for everyone, even your preschoolers can draw their feelings). Let it be the place to leave your stressors behind, let it give you a sense of gratitude, let it be your voice to help guide you through this moment in time and let it be your history book; the one that will be talked about and shared for generations to come.
I had a really rough night and I’m so thankful that I had my husband and my pup (who turns 9 tomorrow) with me to keep me safe and get me through the night, especially knowing just how many people are alone right now. So much has changed in all of our lives over the last month and I’m pretty sure we are all having some rough days and nights but the one thing that hasn’t changed for me since this crisis began is that I still have the same mental illness I did before it started.
I’m still suffering with chronic and treatment resistant depression, severe anxiety and suicidal ideations every damn day and all that seems to have changed for me over the course of the last month is that many, if not most of my symptoms have become exacerbated.
It’s more important than ever to take care of our mental health and to make it a priority. Yet I’m feeling less and less inclined to do so anymore and more and more guilty for being sick with each passing day.
Oh the fucking guilt, it’s such a huge burden to carry. I feel invisible right now and I need to keep reminding myself that I’ve tried and that having a mental illness is not my fault. I need to keep reminding myself that I did not choose to have a mental illness and I need to stop apologizing for it even though the entire world may be experiencing a Pandemic right now.
YouAreEnough 
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