Category: comfort

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

November is Domestic Violence Awareness Month in Canada. Statistics show that 1 in 3 Canadian women will experience domestic abuse from an intimate partner in their lifetime, but it does not stop there as it can affect people of all races, cultures, socioeconomic classes, religions, genders and sexual orientations.

Domestic violence is also a much broader epidemic than just that of physical abuse as it could likely include several other forms of abuse as well such as sexual, psychological and emotional. 

Since the start of the Pandemic, domestic violence has become a Pandemic within a Pandemic once the stay-at-home-orders came into effect and with a big surge in job loss, unemployment, economic instability, childcare instability, housing instability and travel restrictions it has made it more and more difficult for many victims who have been confined to their homes with their abusers to safely connect with the necessary services or outside help including reporting to authorities. 

Many victims are staying out of fear or because they feel trapped, both of which have been very likely scenerios even long before the Pandemic began. 

Although there are many signs that someone is being abused, they are not always as visible to outsiders, especially with so many of the current living circumstances for victims right now. 

It can also be very difficult to clearly see signs of abuse because most perpetrators learn the art of manipulation and control over their victim’s mind and emotions. 

Signs of Abuse:
-Bullying, threatening or controlling tactics 
-Controlling your money
-Cutting you off from your family and friends 
-Physical or sexual abuse

(Footnote: WebMD)

Keep an eye out for these signs if you think a loved one is a victim of domestic violence: 

-Excuses for injuries
-Personality changes, like low self-esteem in someone who was always confident
-Constantly checking in with their partner
-Never having money on hand
-Overly worried about pleasing their partner
-Skipping out on work, school, or social outings for no clear reason
-Wearing clothes that don’t fit the season, like long sleeves in summer to cover bruises 

(Footnote: WebMD)

Lastly, if your gut is telling you that a friend or loved one may be a victim of domestic violence say something! Listen, ask questions and offer to help in any way you can. And remember, never judge another person’s situation or a decision that someone else may make unless you have walked a mile in their shoes. Empower them instead to give them the courage they may need to become stronger and more confident. 


#domesticviolenceawarenessmonth #empower #signsofdomesticviolence #youareenough #youarenotalone #noshame #startaconversation #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #dontsufferinsilence #speakyourtruth #advocate #courageous

The Positive Side Of A Selfie

Taking a selfie these days seems to be one of the biggest growing phenomenons since the creation of the Smartphone itself and statistics show that women between the ages of 16 and 25 are spending (on average) five hours per week taking them. 

Although the average age for taking selfies may be women between 16 and 25 years old, they are certainly not alone. Selfies have become a form of self-expression and a great way to present one”self” to the world, no matter what your age or gender is. 

We choose to take selfies most often for a feeling of instant gratification, to make personal connections with others, to boost our self-esteem, to gain positive feedback and to express one’s own creativity. 

Over the last many years I have shied away from having my picture taken as much as humanly possible (I much prefer to be the photographer if you haven’t noticed!), so the thought of me taking a selfie is like next to nil!

But today is one of those very rare occasions where I decided to try and step outside my comfort zone (way out) and try for even just one moment to feel the “positive side of a selfie” and embrace what the world sees in me in order to show you my new sweatshirt I made.

The words I chose to use are a deep and meaningful reminder to me as I continue to try and fight this battle and it’s a true expression of hope to the many women everywhere who are also struggling on their own journey right now or who have fought their way through one; whether it be physical or mental.

I created this shirt in recognition of Mental Illness Awareness Week and I chose the colour pink in honour of October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month. 

#selfies #prettyinpink #breastcancerawarenessmonth #mentalillnessawarenessweek #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #advocateforchange #itsoktonotbeok #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation

It Must Be A Full Moon

What comes to your mind when you think of a full moon? Do you picture werewolves and wild dogs howling at it? Do you imagine yourself as a character in a horror film frantically running away from a man wearing a scary mask in a dark and dismal looking forest and the only way to safety is by following the bright light reflecting off the full moon?  Or maybe you think of all the times when your kids are acting super silly or a loved one seems extra moody and you wonder if there must be a full moon out tonight?

Do you think there is some truth that a full moon can really affect our mood?  Is there some truth that the Lunar Effect has any correlation between its moon cycles and human behaviour? Or is it just a coincidence that the word “Lunacy” derives from the Latin word Luna which means moon. 

The moon, much like human beings is always changing and growing and much like humans we can’t always see beyond its surface so we often miss out on the joy and depth of what’s going on when we’re too busy running from the masked man in the forest instead of trying to see beyond the surface.

Like so many others, I know that I am very guilty of this. My illness continuously stops me from seeing the beauty that is surrounding me and instead I find myself wrapped up in all its “lunacy” and triggered by a “fight or flight” response.

When the moon is full it should feel complete. So does that mean that I should be feeling complete today as the full moon gets set to illuminate the skies above us tonight? Should I feel more powerful and charged today as the full moon gets set to illuminate the skies above us tonight? Should I see more clearly today as the full moon gets set to illuminate the skies above us tonight? Should I be celebrating any growth I have encountered since the last full moon a month ago? 

Could a full moon really cultivate all that? Can it allow you to come to fruition in your life and see growth and change as a power or is there more truth in the “fight or flight” response instead? 

The past month as most of you know has been particularly difficult for me and it was just days before the last full moon that I found myself sitting in an emergency room barely holding on and now if I look at many similar patterns in my behaviour I have noticed that over the last few days I have felt more disruption in my sleep, worsening and extremely debilitating anxiety and even more emotionally spent then ever.

Is it a fact or is it purely a coincidence? Will you be howling at the moon tonight or will you be seeing its beauty beyond the surface?

#fullmoon #lunacy #lunareffect #harvestmoon #power #growth #beauty #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #suicideawareness 

Socially Distanced Holiday Traditions

 

For many Jews around the world tomorrow night marks the start of the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashana) which has traditionally been a time for celebrating with our family, friends and community but we all know that this year the holidays (much like Passover and Easter were in the Spring) are going to look and feel a whole lot different which can and will likely cause many people to feel the “holiday blues”.

I mean who can really blame anyone by this point for feeling “blue” (regardless of your religious beliefs or faith), seeing as it’s now been more than 6 months since we have been able to “traditionally” celebrate squat with our family, friends and community. 

Over the last many years, holiday gatherings and celebrations of any kind have been incredibly difficult for me and whether it’s the social pressures, the obligations or the expectations that come along with it, together they all just seem to exacerbate these feelings further.

Depression brings with it a high level of discomfort that is truly unexplainable to many who have never experienced it before. This is also where having a severe anxiety disorder comes into play and when you mix the two together it can make life feel pretty lethal sometimes. 

We will still be celebrating the holidays this year just with a lot less social pressures, a lot less obligations and a lot less expectations than usual and for me this is somewhat of a relief which I know may sound selfish to some. 

We will bring in the New Year as always and still with many of our same traditions as always but just at a more socially Covid accepted distance but still just as meaningful and sweet.

Wishing everyone celebrating (however that may be) a very happy, safe and healthy New Year.

#happynewyear #roshhashana #backyardcelebrations #traditions #socialdistancing #togetherapart #youareenough #mentalillness #mentalhealth #checkonyourlovedones #healthyboundaries #mentalwellness #holidayblues #shanatova

Dip Your Toe In The Water

Yesterday morning I went to an aqua fit class which I have been doing very regularly throughout the summer months, but until yesterday I hadn’t been to class for a couple of weeks.  It was to be one of our last classes of the season and afterwards we were invited to stay for the afternoon relaxing by the pool, enjoying each other’s company and feasting on a delicious catered lunch hosted by my friend whose pool we have so graciously been using all summer long.

There was a chill in the air yesterday morning, something we hadn’t felt before then but it is September after all and to be expected.  I wasn’t sure when I awoke yesterday morning if I could find the strength to push myself to get to the class at all as I had not had a good night the evening before; and knowing just how crisp the air felt, I lay in bed filled with anxiety, curled up under my weighted blanket until about 20 minutes before class was to begin, telling myself all the reasons I shouldn’t go. It’s not like this was anything new to me, I go through this crazy babble and negative self-talk every single time I leave my home, even when it’s something I know I will likely enjoy. 

Well I made it to class as you already know even though I was a few minutes late and when I arrived everyone was in the pool warming up but I took my time to ensure the best and most successful outcome. I slowly and cautiously approached the water and then I gently dipped my toe in the water (as though it was my first time ever getting into a pool) to check the temperature.  

We’ve all heard the saying “Dip your toe in the water” before and yesterday I both literally and figuratively did just that. I more often than not have to tread very lightly in everything I do because I can (and do) easily get overwhelmed and become very vulnerable whenever I try and push myself too much or take on too much all at once which just winds up sabotaging my health and wellness further. Some days may be easier than others to push through my depression and anxiety (but not lately) and having learned the art of how to fake it til I make it or smile through my pain can sometimes give me the strength to “dive right in” like I did yesterday (thanks also to Jenn for making the water super warm).

#dipyourtoeinthewater #diverightin #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #blogger #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #bekindtoyourself #swimming #aquafit #friends

September Is National Self-Care Awareness Month

For many of us September symbolizes new beginnings, refocusing of our energy and lots of change. With a new school year set to resume and a new season upon us very soon, this September also brings with it a whole lot of added fear of the unknown and so much uncertainty.

September is “National Self-Care Awareness Month” and during a time in our lives that is driven by a whole lot of added fear of the unknown and so much uncertainty, self-care and self-awareness are super important (more than ever before) to our wellbeing. 

As most of you know by now my life has been on a pretty steady downward spiral over the last several weeks and I am still having a very difficult time right now just trying to get through another day. And even though I know how essential self-care is for our wellbeing I have to keep reminding myself of this daily. 

We often neglect our own wellbeing by putting the needs of others first and we often forget that setting healthy boundaries can be extremely beneficial to us as well. Practicing self-care and being self-aware is not selfish, it is simply enabling you to pay attention to your own feelings and to be able to relay your needs to others; without guilt.  

Self-care isn’t just for a person or persons who may be feeling overwhelmed or vulnerable, nor should it be something you reward yourself with just for achieving a goal; self-care is important for everyone and is an ongoing process. It could even be as simple as taking a nap, reading a steamy novel, listening to your favourite song or eating a bowl of ice cream for supper. 

What are some of your favourite self-care practices? Do you think you could come up with a list of 30 ways that you can practice self-care in the month of September? (one for each day of the month)

#selfcare #selfawareness #ichooseme #loveyourself #takecareofyou #itsseptember #nationalselfcareawarenessmonth #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #suicideprevention #suicideawareness

Where Do I Belong?

***May be triggering to some***

I wanted to start by saying thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who reached out to me and my family last night (and today) and for all your heartfelt messages and good wishes.  

The other day I posted a blog titled “Home Alone” where I touched upon my current state of being and how much I had both welcomed and appreciated having the entire day and night all to myself on Wednesday. It was the first time in a long, long time that I felt any sense of ease but then sadly, by the next morning, I was right back to where I had been, only now it felt much worse. 

By the time I woke up Thursday morning I felt even more guilt, I felt even more sadness, I felt even more anxiety (can’t believe that’s even possible), I felt even more anger, I felt even more of a burden and both my mind and body felt like they could no longer co-exist because I no longer felt like I belonged anywhere and I just needed the pain to finally go away; this time forever.

I have said many times before that I suffer with suicidal thoughts and ideations pretty regularly (probably daily) and I have acted on these urges several times over the course of the last 6 years but by Friday afternoon the voices in my head had become so unbearable and more graphic than ever; and yes I had a plan. 

By midday Friday Rich was very concerned for my safety (and rightfully so) that he reached out to my therapist for support and guidance (unbeknownst to me). She then called me so that we could talk through it and strongly suggested that I go to emerg, which I eventually relented to.

I’m not gonna lie when I say that hospitals have become a very scary place for me due to many difficult and frightening experiences I’ve encountered over the last many years relating to my illness and last night was no different, except it kinda was (because everything in the world is different these days).

After speaking with the Emergency room doctor who promised me he would not put me on a form (a 72 hour hold) he had me wait in a quiet room alone until a member of the crisis team could come speak with me and assess my situation further (they are busier than ever these days). 

I spoke with her for quite a while and felt much calmer for doing so but by the end of our conversation she recommended that I be admitted to the inpatient ward (which was when my PTSD kicked in to full swing). She was also very honest with me as well. She let me know that because it was the weekend there would be no access to any kind of supports until Monday, except for what she described as a brief meeting with the “on call” weekend Psychiatrist within the first 12 hours of admission (I should know all this by now). It also meant me having no “privileges” to come and go off the floor, no phone (which is where I do most of my writing), and as she started to explain all of the added Covid related restrictions I felt a panic attack coming on and thought that being admitted was actually going to cause me more harm than good.

She was completely understanding to my hesitation and overwhelm and told me the decision was mine to make and that they would be there for me anytime I felt the need to come back. She was especially understanding to my hesitation and overwhelm when I voiced my concerns relating to medication which as I know firsthand is a huge part of most treatment plans in a psych ward. I have not been on medication in quite some time as most of you know by now as it was way more detrimental to my health both physically and mentally than it was good.  I’ve been on over 20 concoctions of medication over time which only caused me further issues (including suicide attempts) and so it is no longer an option for me.

I am home for now and trying my best to rest (I didn’t sleep last night) and I need to figure out where I go from here. I no longer know the difference between right from wrong and I no longer know where I even belong anymore. It’s a very scary feeling not knowing where you belong or what’s right from wrong but what I do know is that as broken as I feel right now, I also know that I have the most incredible support system to hold my hand every step of the way.

Thank you again for being part of my journey: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com 

***If you or someone you love is in crisis please talk to someone immediately. ***

#youareenough #thisisreallife #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #dontsufferinsilence #mentalillness #mentalhealth #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #suicideisnotselfish #sicknotweak #masksoff #mentalexhaustion #checkonyourlovedones 

A Fresh Coat of Paint

Rachel has been hard at work prepping her new classroom before the start of the Fall semester and her first term in University. It may not be the ideal situation or one that many of us would have chosen for our children but to quote the Schmuck himself (AKA: The President of The United States) “It is what it is!” 

So for now Rachel is trying to make the best of a pretty shitty situation by creating her own oasis in our living room and claiming it as her new workspace and art studio, starting by adding a fresh coat of paint to the walls. 

A fresh coat of paint can be beneficial to our mental wellness and can bring with it a calming effect and a sense of comfort and ease. Having a clean and orderly space, reducing the amount of clutter in it and being surrounded by bright, natural lighting can also become a healing sanctuary for our mental wellbeing. 

I’m just not so sure that Maggie is thrilled with Rachel trying to take over her favorite spot in the house where she sits on her throne and keeps a close watch on the goings on outside but that’s for the two of them to work out! 

#interiordesign  #ryersonuniversity #nextchapter #classof2024 #onlinelearning #onlineclassroom #afreshcoatofpaint #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #youareenough #childandyouthmentalhealth #mindfulness #makingthebestofashittysituation

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends


The week we first went into lockdown 5 months ago this week (in case you’ve forgotten!) I had an appointment scheduled with my Psychiatrist to begin a new treatment. The decision for me to even attempt yet another new treatment was not an easy one to make, especially since it’s still quite new and not very accessible to the general public as of now; and not to mention that I had already been part of a clinical study for a more invasive version of the same treatment several years earlier during a hospital admission that I needed to stop immediately. 

The first dose was to be administered by my Psychiatrist in his office at the hospital he works out of to ensure that I could tolerate it and from there I would be monitored closely as I continued treatment several times a week from my home. It’s now been five long months since that initial appointment was postponed inevitably as I continue to struggle deeply on a daily basis. 

As most of you who follow my journey regularly know by now that my relationship with medication and treatment options (both traditional and MANY non-traditional as well) to help ease my symptoms associated with anxiety and depression have been met with many obstacles, extreme challenges and sometimes severe complications to say the least. So when I discovered CBD oil a few years ago and found immediate relief from it while experiencing high levels of anxiety throughout any given day (even if it’s only temporary), I’ve come to rely on it like you would rely on any loyal and trustworthy friend.

Although it’s been far from a cure and (unfortunately) for me it has yet to give my symptoms of depression any type of real relief I’m still so grateful to know that just like my many loyal, trustworthy friends I have in my life, it’s a safe and reliable way to help me cope with my often severe and very persistent daily bouts of anxiety and panic attacks because I really don’t know how I’d ever get through so many difficult days (and nights) without any of them. 

#cbdoil #friendship #youareenough #depression #anxiety #anxietyattacks #panicattacks #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #therapeutic #selfcare #suicidalthoughts #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #endthestigmatogether 

Unbreakable Bonds

Throughout my illness I have been so incredibly blessed to have such an overwhelming amount of support from friends, family and acquaintances alike. When we go through difficult times in our life,  having a strong network of supportive people to rely on is so important to our wellbeing. And no matter what the role is that someone plays in that network of support is just as vital as the next one and should be cherished just the same. 

Two such ladies in my network of support inspired me to write this blog because I don’t know what I would do without either of them in my life. They are both close to ten years younger than me and live thousands of miles away, one being in Western Canada and the other in the Southern United States. And even though we may have grown up in completely different worlds and gone through completely different (and at times) difficult journeys ourselves we have so much in common and share a bond that is unbreakable. 

We have an “exclusive” and private chat group that probably has hundreds and hundreds of hours of conversations on it by now. We check in with each other many times a week (and sometimes a day) where we share the most intimate details of our lives including our secrets, our heartache and certainly lots of laughter.

It is so comforting to know that they are always just a quick text away and that I can tell them anything without ever feeling like a burden to them.  

We cheer each other on and we cheer each other up, we listen with our heart and we listen without judgment because that’s what a strong network of support is meant to do. 

They may have been my cousins first but overtime they have truly become the sisters I never had. 😘🤗 

#cousinsforever #sisterbond #youareenough #family #familymatters #networkofsupport #ilovemybrothertoo #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #checkonyourlovedones #togetherapart #youarenotalone