I had a rough afternoon. 

Going into this afternoon I’d already been experiencing some additional anxiety leading up to an appointment I had today.

Once I arrived at my appointment my anxiety began to escalate further and continued building throughout the duration of it. I immediately started to practice several grounding exercises and did my best to also practice some breathing exercises in order to ensure I didn’t make a big scene in front of anyone. 

Tears welled up in my eyes several times; I did everything I could to hold them back by continuing to engage in my grounding exercises and take deep and full breaths.

Once my appointment was finally complete I felt a sense of relief. That relief however was only momentary as I now had another obstacle in front of me. My appointment had taken much longer than I’d anticipated and so by the time I left the office it was now pitch black outside. 

Panic quickly set in.

I haven’t driven at night in over six years.

I got into my car. Put on my glasses. Started the ignition and cautiously backed out of my parking space with both hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. 

Thankfully I didn’t have far to drive but that didn’t seem to matter. It felt like an eternity. My heart was racing, body shaking, tears slightly falling and I couldn’t catch my breath. My anxiety attack I’d been trying to keep at bay for the last few hours had escalated into a full on panic attack. 

Once I safely reached my driveway, I turned off my car and made a mad dash for the front door. As I walked inside, I threw down my coat and there I stood bawling my eyes out. I’d been holding it in for hours by now and it felt really good to finally be able to let go of the build up of emotions I’d been desperately holding inside. 

Rich stood up off the couch and held me while I calmed down (and also told me I should’ve called him before I drove home in panic!). He then offered to make me a grilled cheese sandwich to eat as he could see that I was not in the mood for what was on the actual dinner menu. I needed comfort food and Rich knows just how much one of his delicious grilled cheese sandwiches brings me comfort, especially when it’s cut into fours.

What’s your favourite comfort food?

#comfortfood #anxiety #panicattacks #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #grilledcheese #comfortsofhome #youareenough

I’ve found myself in a really dark place since the new year began and with the recent and very unexpected passing of Bob Saget this past weekend I have also found myself referring back to one of my favourite poems called “The Dash” (written by Linda Ellis) for meaning and purpose.

I’ve read and listened closely to the abundant amount of tributes from those who knew him well which have been steadily pouring in since the news broke of his death. Each and every anecdotal account of who he was, giving us outsiders a real sense of what an incredible human Bob truly was to both his inner circle and to the many others who were lucky enough to have been touched by his sweet, kind, compassionate soul.

He will also be forever eulogized and fondly remembered by millions of his adoring fans and loved ones as “America’s Favourite Dad” both on our television screens and in life, a successful stand up comedian and a very generous philanthropist. 

“The Dash” represents a person’s life between the time of one’s birth until the time of their death. It’s the part of our lives that matter most. 

Many people unfortunately forget as they walk through their dash that at the end of their life it’s not the superficial pursuit of material possessions like fancy cars and big houses or fame and fortune that will truly matter the most but instead our focus should be on our happiness, making time for loved ones, fulfilling our dreams, being kind and compassionate, taking risks, slowing down, inspiring the people around us and helping those in need. 

Bob showed us that even though he may have been blessed with many material possessions, fame and good fortune in his life, he is not being remembered for any of that. He left behind a way more important imprint on the world and made every minute count to ensure that his dash left a way bigger impact than that.  

As I mentioned above, this poem is one of my favourites and it has often been a great tool for me to reference when I need help to refocus during the times when it feels especially dark and lonely. I find that it also helps ground me in order for me to continue pursuing the most impactful, inspiring, meaningful and purposeful dash that I can.

***A special shoutout to another sweet, kind, generous and very funny soul on what would’ve been his 89th birthday today; My father in law. I am so very blessed to have been a part of your dash. “Go Leafs Go!”***

What is one thing you want your dash to be remembered by?

#thedash #mentalhealth #americasfavouritedad #bobsaget #poem #mentalwellness #youareenough #youarenotalone #happiness #tolife #depression 

The other day a beautiful, thoughtful, kind, insightful soul dropped off a gift for me. 

It was a magnificent book. 

I was beyond grateful for this unexpected surprise and I am so blessed that I get to call this beautiful, thoughtful, kind, insightful soul my friend. 

I just love Brené Brown’s wisdom and authentic teachings on vulnerability, shame, empathy and courage. She is one of my favourite authors and motivational speakers. I even wrote a blog about her a few years ago after watching her Netflix special called “The Call To Courage” (https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2019/06/02/the-call-to-courage-brene-brown/). 

She has helped so many people like myself understand and aid in the transformation of becoming better humans through her own personal journey, her writings and her many, many years of extensive research. 

I’ve been looking very forward to adding her latest book “Atlas of the Heart” to my own personal library. A book which “takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human” and maps out for us the way in which we can build more meaningful connections with ourselves and each other by giving us the power of “understanding, meaning and choice”. 

I’m pretty sure I probably experience “87” different emotions every single day and as I turn the pages of my new book I hope it will help me to learn and better understand my most difficult emotions and experiences. I am pretty certain I will be referring back to many of the words on these pages time and time again as it helps connect me to my chosen “word” for 2022; DISCOVER (in case you missed my blog the other day, here it is again: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2022/01/07/my-word-for-2022/)

Thank you again to my beautiful, thoughtful, kind, insightful friend for the gift of connection. The only emotion I am experiencing at this very moment as I settle in to read my new book is gratitude and appreciation. 

#grateful #eightysevenemotions #atlasoftheheart #reading #vulnerability #courage #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #emotions #connections #friendship #youareenough @brenebrown

We are officially one week into 2022. 

We made it! 

But by the looks of it on my Facebook and Instagram feeds many people, both young and old alike are barely hanging on right now here in Ontario (and in many other parts of Canada and the world too) as the reality of our new lockdown measures came into effect earlier this week. I’m just beyond grateful though that my Mother-in-law’s scheduled surgery went ahead according to plan a few days ago as we weren’t certain it would when part of the announcement made last week included hospitals having to cancel all elective and non-urgent surgeries during the lockdown period and even though she did not fall under either one of these categories it was still very much up in the air until go-time. Another added burden that so many families are dealing with right now.

With the news of all the latest lockdown measures and restrictions also came the devastation and added stress for many more when it was also announced that children and teachers would be returning to virtual learning.

As the week has progressed, every time I open my Social Media pages I am so overwhelmed with sadness seeing the overabundance of memes and Reels authentically showing genuine emotions of Healthcare workers, small business owners, teachers and many others including the look of frustration on so many parent’s faces as they try to navigate through their own personal obligations as well as those of their disheartened children’s lives too. A week into the New Year and it seems as though many individuals have already thrown in the towel for 2022. I totally get it.

There is only so much anyone can take. 

Mental health is on a rapid decline and having the start of 2022 begin with so many added hardships for so many I get it, I get why so many of us have already given up on the year ahead or more importantly, ourselves. 

2021 did not end well for me or my family and the start of 2022 hasn’t shown too much promise thus far but as I reflect back on the past year I realized that I’ve learned so much about myself and discovered many new things about me by allowing my past to come to the forefront of my mind and make room for forgiveness in my heart. 

As I’ve mentioned several times, I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions as they have a 99.999 % chance of failure and seeing how 2022 has started off for many, I am certain I’m not alone. Right now we don’t need a bunch of empty promises to start off the new year but instead we need “a word”.

Just one word that we can focus on as we begin to navigate our way through yet another uncertain year ahead. 

This “word” can help you set goals and intentions for all areas of your life.

Take your word with you wherever you go. Maybe create a vision board for your word, write it on your bathroom mirror or frame it and leave it on your desk or nightstand, make it the screensaver on your phone or stick it on your refrigerator door.

It took me the better part of the week to finally figure out what my word for 2022 should be. A word that spoke to me, a word that would help me take more risks, work on my relationships and open up more space for personal growth. I chose “Discover”.

I want to explore this word in every way possible. I want it to help me discover my purpose, discover my spark again and more than anything re-discover my true authentic self by continuing to let go of more pain from my past and leave more time and space in my heart for forgiveness and genuine connection to the world around me.

P.S. We could all benefit from being a bit more gentle and forgiving of ourselves right about now.

What will be your WORD in 2022?

#discover #selfdiscovery #hello2022 #goodriddance2021 #forgiveness #mentalhealth #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #chooseyourword #mywordfor2022 #checkonyourlovedones

Yesterday’s announcement by the Ontario Government was shocking to many and an utterly gut-wrenching blow to most parents, caregivers, teachers and children alike.

None of us could have ever imagined that almost 22 months from the start of the Pandemic we’d be smacked in the face yet again with another lockdown or worse, having to navigate our children’s education through a computer screen (I may no longer have children in elementary or high school but I definitely can feel your pain).

Parents are overwhelmed and exhausted more than ever right now; caregivers, teachers and our precious children are too (even those, like mine in University and beyond). 

These added Pandemic stressors throughout the last two years have created a devastating amount of disconnect, fear and anger in our lives and for many individuals, especially our young people, it’s led to severe mental health issues for the first time ever or has exasperated mental health concerns further in many who were already suffering before the Pandemic began. 

First things first; you are not alone, ever.

And we need to ensure that our children know that they are not alone either or ever. Keep asking them open-ended questions, daily. Listen closer than ever before when they do talk. Keep a watchful eye on their non-verbal cues or new and unusual behaviours.

Reach out to your community or other parents who may be struggling too. There is help available. 

The Children’s Mental Health Ontario organization (CMHO) may be a perfect place to start. They offer a wide range of services from in-person meetings to virtual support to crisis lines and will connect you or your child in the right direction toward helping you get further support with issues you may be facing. 

They also provide virtual peer support groups for parents or caregivers through “Parents for Children’s Mental Health”. There are chapters available in most regions of Ontario and meet once a month (via Zoom). Having support and a listening ear from like-minded parents within your own community and being able to talk with other parents in a safe, non judgmental environment who may be struggling as well to find some answers or resources as to how to find both the necessary and timely help for their own child’s mental health can bring with it a great sense of comfort and ease.

Check out their website (CMHO.ORG) for more information on all their services or other Provinces.

#strongertogether #cmho #ourmentalhealthmatters #ouryouthmatter #mentalhealth #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #youareneveralone #itsoktonotbeok #youmatter #youareenough #askforhelp #startaconversation #checkonyourlovedones 

People need compassion and kindness more than ever.

Many of us, our youth included are feeling exceptionally overwhelmed and vulnerable right now.

Many more of us are beyond exhausted and have reached their breaking point.

You are not alone.

Please don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need to.

Let someone know how you are feeling today: MENTAL HEALTH CHECK IN

❤ really great 💚 starting to struggle

🧡 pretty good 💙 having a tough day

💛 just okay 💜 I need support

#nowordsanymore #ontario #lockdown #latherrinserepeat #youarenotalone #mentalhealthcheckin #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #kindnessmatters #checkonyourlovedones #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #yourmentalhealthmatters #youthmentalhealth #selfcare

The sudden passing of Betty White on New Year’s Eve day left me really emotional (but to be fair though, everything gets me emotional!). 

No one can argue that she had lived a very full and meaningful life, one which she has so humbly noted many times throughout her long life that she considered herself to be “the luckiest broad on two feet” and that she also lived with no regrets (and lots of animals!)

But still, her adoring fans, including myself (like who here didn’t love her role in the Golden Girls!) weren’t ready to say goodbye to her when the news broke just three weeks shy of her 100th birthday; a day which so many of us had been awaiting in anticipation of to help honour and celebrate her incredible life and achievements.

It’s really hard to imagine, even for someone as iconic as Betty White is, who lived such a fulfilling life could live without having any regrets though? I mean that’s pretty remarkable. 

My illness has sparked a long list of regrets in my life, many of which have only made it that much more difficult for me to live a fulfilling, happier life right now.

I regret all the times I haven’t been able to enjoy the present moment, or taken more chances. 

I regret all the times I haven’t trusted enough in myself, or had the strength to keep moving forward when things get too hard or days feel too much. 

I regret all the times I’ve been unable to recognize my self worth (and it’s alot), or didn’t stand up for myself more by being honest when faced with judgmental people in my life. 

I regret all the times I haven’t told someone how they’ve made me feel, or have cared too much about what others have thought of me.

I know I’m not alone but when I began delving deeper into Betty White’s remarkable life and legacy through a closer lens over the last couple of days I can now see more clearly just how many important lessons we can takeaway from her very long and very well-intentioned life that she lived without regrets. 

She was a trailblazer who broke down so many incredibe barriers in her lifetime (especially for women). 

She taught us that by staying active both in our body and mind can help keep you feeling young and without regret.

She taught us that finding a passion or many passions in life and pursuing them can keep you feeling young and without regret. 

She taught us that perseverance can keep you feeling young and without regret. 

She taught us that change, especially when trying to keep up with the fast paced and ever-changing world we live in today can keep you feeling young and without regret.

She also taught us that no matter how many times in life we may need to pivot or change with the times that always giving it your all can definitely keep you feeling young and without regret.

These are just a few of my own takeaways from what Betty has taught the world but she herself has often shared her own true secret with  journalists and the public as to what it truly takes to keep her feeling young and live such a full and meaningful life with no regrets and her answer was simple; having “kindness and consideration of somebody besides yourself” is all you really need (and vodka; she’s a comedian afterall!).

As I said at the start, her death made me really emotional and even though she was just weeks away from her 100th birthday, it just felt so sudden and shocking. We all felt as though she was going to live forever. But I’m going to read what I’ve written here today over and over again as I try and put my best foot forward into the start of 2022 knowing that showing both kindness and consideration towards others is a big part of who I already am and it’s one regret I will never have, nor apologize for.

What has Betty White taught you? 

Do you live with any regrets in life?

#bettywhite #liveforeverinourhearts #rip #regrets #secrettokeepingyoung #goldengirls #hotincleveland #marytylermoore #kindnessandconsideration #passion #lifelessons #warrior #mentalhealth #wellness #longlife #youarenotalone

Happy new year and thank you.

You are not alone xoxo

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=227666982859629&id=100000734852540

This year honestly feels like a blur. 

We collectively came into 2021 feeling hopeful.

Vaccines were on the horizon and there was a sense of promise sifting through the murky air that life would soon be getting back to normal again, very soon. We could almost taste it and boy did it taste ever so sweet and savory.

But boy were we all so sorely mistaken. 

By late Spring though we slowly began taking a few baby steps towards normalcy again as more and more people did the right thing and got their vaccines and many of us even tried dipping a toe or two in the water too. 

We felt like we had a bit of a safety net below us now. We saw it as an opportunity and gave us that feeling of hope we were so longing for…right up until mid Fall that is. We did however short lived as it was, get a sneak peek into what “normal” could one day look like (which I still have faith it will again) and it felt both soothing and necessary but as the year quickly comes to a close many of us are now left feeling like we have re-entered the Twighlight Zone of March 2020. 

I’ve, interestingly enough, with all of my overwhelming lists of anxieties and fears that I live with on a daily basis have managed for the most part not to allow Covid-19 to add to it. I believe in science, I have been triple vaccinated, I’ve followed all the necessary and life-saving protocols since day one and although Covid-19 did bust down our front door a few weeks ago I was still able to see first hand the effectiveness and necessity of vaccines and protocols.

It’s no secret that I’ve been living in survival mode for almost 8 years and I think it’s safe to say that many more of us have been living in a similar place for the better part of two years now; and with pretty damn good reason.

But I can’t keep trying to survive or merely exist year after year. It’s clearly not working and I’ve been close to the edge of giving up too many times to count by now and just as recent as this past week. 

I need to somehow learn how to thrive and flourish, not just survive and more than anything else in the world.

For myself but not by myself. 

Thriving is having both the ability and the mindset to do whatever drives you to be or to do. It’s believing that you have a purpose and being able to see beyond one’s own limitations no matter what they are or how they were determined. 

I don’t set New Year’s Resolutions for myself as they are most certain to fail everytime but as I slowly become more and more attuned lately with my past and finding ways to overcome it is allowing me the room I need to set an intention to bring what I have learned with me into 2022 in order to help me thrive. 

I plan to start by taking the words of the late, great Maya Angelou with me wherever I go.

In her own words: “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

What are some things that help you thrive?

I just want to also take this opportunity today to say a special thank you to all of you for continuing to follow my journey and for walking beside me throughout what has been my toughest year yet. (Feel free to follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or my Blog: youareenough712.wordpress.com 

You truly inspire me by your kindness, your meaningful words and your continued encouragement.  

Wishing you all a very happy, healthy, safe and thriving New Year.

#survivalmode #thriving #solong2021 #2022 #newyear #intentions #fuckyoucovid #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youarenotalone #youareenough #startaconversation #checkonyourlovedones #itsoktonotbeok #mayaangelou

Depression doesn’t take a day off for weekends, holidays or birthdays.

Whether it’s a festive time of year or maybe it’s your birthday or even just a long weekend where work and other commitments feel far less overwhelming for a moment doesn’t mean that a person who is battling an illness like Depression should or can just suddenly feel happy. 

In fact many of these occasions which most people choose to honour or can’t wait to celebrate can become an even lonelier and more triggering time of the week or year for many others. 

We all remember the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”, right? I bet you even started singing a few lines in your head as you read this. Ya it’s got quite a catchy tune doesn’t it? If only it was that easy for everyone to just “be” happy then everything would always be okay.

A person’s feeling of happiness unfortunately though can’t be dictated to someone battling Depression just because well, it’s Christmas or their birthday or a long weekend and so telling them they should”be” happy or to cheer up or have some fun because it’s Christmas afterall, it’s a long weekend afterall, it’s your birthday afterall can feel very dismissive to their struggles and their personal mental health journey. It is far more complex than being sad.

Many individuals battling Depression may also look to the outside world like they have it all; a successful career, a beautiful home or a loving family so it often begs the question: Why aren’t you happy? Why can’t you just choose to be happy?

That I can tell you firsthand will only escalate the level of guilt even more for the individual who is battling Depression and just trying to do their best to get through another holiday, another birthday or another weekend.

The simple answer here is that one does not equate to the other. 

It just weighs you down further. 

Wishing everyone peace, love and light this holiday season. Choose kindness and empathy.

*If you are having a tough time getting through today or this long weekend or maybe you are feeling triggered or alone or isolated please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to* Stay Safe everyone.

#yourmentalhealthmatters #youmatter #youarenotalone #mentalhealth #holidaytime #choosekindness #Depression #mentalwellness #reachouttoyourlovedones #checkonyourstrongfriends