Comforts of Home

I had a rough afternoon. 

Going into this afternoon I’d already been experiencing some additional anxiety leading up to an appointment I had today.

Once I arrived at my appointment my anxiety began to escalate further and continued building throughout the duration of it. I immediately started to practice several grounding exercises and did my best to also practice some breathing exercises in order to ensure I didn’t make a big scene in front of anyone. 

Tears welled up in my eyes several times; I did everything I could to hold them back by continuing to engage in my grounding exercises and take deep and full breaths.

Once my appointment was finally complete I felt a sense of relief. That relief however was only momentary as I now had another obstacle in front of me. My appointment had taken much longer than I’d anticipated and so by the time I left the office it was now pitch black outside. 

Panic quickly set in.

I haven’t driven at night in over six years.

I got into my car. Put on my glasses. Started the ignition and cautiously backed out of my parking space with both hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. 

Thankfully I didn’t have far to drive but that didn’t seem to matter. It felt like an eternity. My heart was racing, body shaking, tears slightly falling and I couldn’t catch my breath. My anxiety attack I’d been trying to keep at bay for the last few hours had escalated into a full on panic attack. 

Once I safely reached my driveway, I turned off my car and made a mad dash for the front door. As I walked inside, I threw down my coat and there I stood bawling my eyes out. I’d been holding it in for hours by now and it felt really good to finally be able to let go of the build up of emotions I’d been desperately holding inside. 

Rich stood up off the couch and held me while I calmed down (and also told me I should’ve called him before I drove home in panic!). He then offered to make me a grilled cheese sandwich to eat as he could see that I was not in the mood for what was on the actual dinner menu. I needed comfort food and Rich knows just how much one of his delicious grilled cheese sandwiches brings me comfort, especially when it’s cut into fours.

What’s your favourite comfort food?

#comfortfood #anxiety #panicattacks #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #grilledcheese #comfortsofhome #youareenough

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

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