My birthday is still 2 weeks away and I don’t often ask for much when it comes to birthdays or other special occasions but this year my wish list is long. In Pre-Covid-19 times my wish list would probably seem odd to many who regularly make themselves a priority or make Self-Care part of their monthly, weekly or even daily routines but at this very moment nothing feels too normal.
I’m not too confident right now that any of my birthday wishes will be come true in time for my birthday this year (As it is my birthday present from last year has already been postponed twice and at this point I’d say indefinitely 😰😰😰) but for now I will close my eyes and make a Pre-birthday wish anyways and dream of the perfect day, complete with a trip to the hair salon, followed by a mani/pedi and of course the day would not be complete without our traditional family dinner at the Keg which would also normally be our kid’s last supper right before they were to head off to camp for the summer! 😰
What would you consider to be your perfect day right now?
While on route today delivering more lawn signs I made an extra special stop to the home of one of the Managers of Kids Help Phone to drop off an envelope with a cheque in it for just under $8000. Like so many others right now, the staff at Kids Help Phone are adjusting to a new way of life by having to work from home (and for the foreseeable future) in order to help flatten the curve and stop the spread of Covid-19 but I didn’t want to have to wait several more months for Kids Help Phone to reap the benefits of the 100’s of generous donations I’ve received and so the kind young gentleman (who I’ve been in constant contact with since the start of my “Class of 2020” Graduate Initiative) offered to have me drop it off to him to ensure it got into the right hands now.
We spoke for a little bit outside his home (and 2 meters apart!) and he shared with me some of his goals he is working towards right now for our youth during Covid-19 and beyond and how much donations like this can help turn these goals into a reality.Â
I told him that I will have another cheque for him in a couple of weeks once I wrap up my campaign which is officially winding down this weekend as my mental health is taking a toll right now from it, but as of this evening I am very close to doubling my original goal of $5000 and ya that’s pretty cool with me.
*Feel free to reach out to me before Sunday night to honour a “Class of 2020” Graduate! And if you or anyone you know is feeling sad or angry or frustrated or scared please reach out to Kids Help Phone 24/7. They are now servicing all children, youth, frontline workers and even adults. Â
While Rich and I drove through the city streets yesterday (delivering lawn signs) we passed a street named “Newman Avenue” and it suddenly dawned on me that I’ve now been a “Fluxgold” longer than I was a “Newman”.
When we first got married 25 years ago I never hesitated or even gave it a second thought that I would legally change my last name to Fluxgold, I mean it definitely had a lot more flair and originality to it than “Newman” did so why the heck not and by 1995 when I got married, I was seriously pretty tired of being the butt of so many very unoriginal Seinfeld jokes anyways!!! #heynewman
But please don’t get me wrong, I will always be grateful for the amazing memories my maiden name has given me, it will forever be a part of who I used to be and has continued to be a guide as to what I don’t want to be and it’s definitely a reminder of a much simpler time in my life, you know, the time when I rarely had to correct someone who may have misspelled or mispronounced my last name!
Have you ever truly asked yourself before; What’s in a name? If I could just quote Juliet from “Romeo & Juliet” for a moment here (wow that’s a statement I never thought I’d write) when she says “that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”Â
This quote from Shakespeare tells us that a name doesn’t truly matter nor does it truly affect what or who you really are and besides all that, haven’t we always been taught from a very young age anyhow that what’s truly most important, what truly matters or what truly counts most in life is what’s on the inside and when you reference my profile page on Facebook I think you can find the answer. (See pic)
It was exactly 25 years ago today that the fabulous and fun loving photographer Elliot Sylman captured the true beauty and essence of one of the best days in both Rich’s and my life and so what better way to honour our 25th Wedding Anniversary today (since that cruise around the world I had all planned out in my head ain’t happening😛) than to have that same fabulous and fun loving photographer capture the true beauty and essence of our life together 25 years later with his amazing Covid-19 Initiative @theporchpics.
Several months ago (Pre-Covid-19) I mentioned to Rich that I had a really strong desire to renew our wedding vows for our 25th Anniversary. He kinda laughed it off each time I brought it up and thought I was kinda kidding whenever I did, but deep down inside I kinda wasn’t.
As most of you already know by now, the last six years have been bloody hell for us and has left our marriage tried, tested and completely put through the wringer somedays but through it all our marriage has stood the test of time.
Marriage takes a lot of hard work and a mutual understanding, it takes tears and forgiveness, it takes good communication, it takes lots and lots of laughter and fun and it takes sacrifice and compromise mixed in with a whole lot of unconditional love.
I’m not really sure why I’ve had the overwhelming desire to renew our wedding vows, but today as we take each other’s hand and jump feet first together into our Second Act, somehow doing @theporchpics with my beautifully imperfect family by my side is all the renewal I truly need right now.
I love you to the moon and back Rich, you are my forever and a day. Thank you for keeping me safe and for all that you are and all that you do for our family; there is no one else in this great big crazy world I’d rather be quarantined with either!! In SICKNESS and in HEALTH until death do us part.
Two years ago on Mother’s Day I Chose “Me” and for the first time since becoming a mom twenty years earlier I did Mother’s Day my way that year and it was the best day ever.Â
I planned the entire day’s events for just the five of us (if I’m gonna choose me I better make sure I’m doing what I want to do!!!) which included a gorgeous hike in the Niagara Escarpment, a picnic lunch in the park that we packed ahead of time, some cross Border shopping in the U.S of A and then we finished off the day before heading back home at one of my favorite restaurants in the States that closed down in Canada some 10 years earlier (I think it’s closer to 15 years by now).
This year Mother’s Day is going to look and feel a whole lot different for most of the world (that is if your part of the world actually celebrates Mother’s Day this weekend!) and when I reflect back on Mother’s Day two years ago it’s amazing and terribly dispiriting all at the same time to see that even if we wanted to we couldn’t replicate one single activity tomorrow from that day.Â
We won’t be able to go hiking as all of Ontario’s beautiful Conservation Parks are closed, we won’t be having a picnic in the park because it could cost us a hefty fine of $800 if we do, we won’t be crossing the Border into the U.S of A because well the Border itself is temporarily closed (thank goodness!!!), we won’t be able to stroll through a mall for our new summer wardrobe because well the malls are also closed (and who needs summer clothes anyways, it’s fucking snowing in May) and lastly we won’t be able to dine in at one of my favorite restaurants either (I wonder if Uber eats is allowed to cross the Border??🤪).Â
Well even though we may not be able to partake in one single activity from that Mother’s Day two years ago we are still lucky enough to be able to spend the whole day together, just the five of us (whether we like it or not right now lol). We are also lucky enough to still be able to create new memories to look back on from that Mother’s Day we spent in quarantine because of “that” deadly Coronavirus Pandemic. But, as we do one day reflect back on this Mother’s Day in the years to come I hope we will also remember it as the year that the world learned to be even just a little more grateful for all the richness that we have in our lives and that it was also in that same year the world learned to slow down and appreciate the little things in life that we once took for granted.Â
Even though we may all be weathering the same storm together does not mean that we are doing so from the same boat. Some of us may feel like a castaway on a deserted island with a broken raft and no paddle to steer us home while others may feel like they are peacefully sailing through a remote Tropical Island in a big Yacht straight out of “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous”.
Some of us are enjoying this time to slowly paddle our boat on a private lake and breathe in the fresh air and see our reflection on the water and actually like what we see, but for many more of us we may just be trying to brave the heavy waves on the ocean without capsizing our boat and praying we don’t fall into the shark pit below.
For many of us we are all alone in our boat, and the murky water surrounding us feels empty and the skies above us are dark and then you suddenly look across the way from you and through the fog you can see another boat in the distance filled with the love of a family, singing and dancing without a cloud in the sky above them.
For many of us right now we don’t have the means to fix the holes in our boat and it feels like we are sinking very fast without having a life preserver to keep our head above the water while others are still able to put their feet up on deck and use this time to map out their next adventure, a relaxing sail around the world. And then there are those who have no time to dock their motorboat right now because they are too busy working to help the rest of us try and stay afloat.
Yes we are all in different boats and sailing on very different journeys but we still share the same land and water which is why now would be the perfect time for all of us to anchor our boats next to one another (6 feet apart of course), not so we can compare them, not so we can judge them but so we can unite together as we weather the storm.
Wow, would you look at that, we did it; we just completed a full month (and then some) in quarantine and in case you needed a gentle reminder, today is May 1st and for me May has always been one of my most favorite months of the year.
I mean what’s not to love about May? It’s like a fresh start watching the flowers bloom and seeing the regrowth on the trees or finally hanging up your winter coat and of course it’s also the unofficial kick off to summer (so as you may have guessed this has been written from the perspective of a proud Canadian girl).
May is typically a very busy and joyous month for us with lots to look forward to each year but nowadays the best excuse for a celebration seems more like Cinco De Mayo Day (May 5), Victoria Day (May 18) and National Wine Day (May 25). And as you can see there is a common theme between all three days, one that needs no explanation after being in quarantine for…a whole lot of days.
Hopefully though, between all the Tequila (Cinco De Mayo) and Beer (make it a Corona on Victoria Day) and Wine (National Wine Day) we can find some time to pop open a bottle of champagne and make a toast to us on our upcoming 25th Wedding Anniversary later this month (right in between beer and wine day!). Stay tuned
P.S. I hate wine, beer and tequila!
What is something you are looking forward to during the month of May?
Tell me one thing that makes you smile during quarantine? Now try and hold that vision close to your heart as you venture into another week of physical distancing and remember that it doesn’t matter whether you are lounging in pajamas all day or doning your Sunday best because; “You’re never fully dressed without a smile!”
Well it’s official, exactly 1 month after her High School Graduation Trip with her friends was abruptly cancelled (or rescheduled for later this summer but who’s kidding who?) due to Covid-19 the inevitable was finally announced yesterday that my daughter’s Prom was officially cancelled and that her Graduation Ceremony at the end of June has been postponed indefinitely.
The sudden cancellation of a once in a lifetime High School Graduation Trip last month hit us pretty hard even though we had been closely watching the virus’s force spreading quickly across the world in the week leading up to her trip, nonetheless it fell fast and furious and it was beyond heartbreaking. Since that day soooo much has changed (like everything to be exact) but at least this time we saw it coming and have had plenty of time to process it.
But no matter how much time our High School Graduates have had to process all this it will still never change the fact that they have been robbed of some of the best days of their lives, their Rite of Passage and possibly some of their hardest days too. Everything they have done from Kindergarten up until today has been a dress rehearsal for this one special moment, the moment where they get to spread their wings and fly on their own in order to chase after their hopes and dreams and find out who they truly are.
Yes some of you reading this will question what gives these kids the right to feel sad or angry or frustrated or disappointed or depressed that their High School Prom was cancelled (along with all the stuff leading up to the day) or that they may not get to receive their High School Diploma in a traditional Graduation Ceremony or that this was supposed to be their final swan song to friends before going off in different directions in the Fall when knowingly there are thousands of people who are critically ill and dying around the world and thousands of other people who are risking their own health to help the sick and dying or that millions more could lose their livelihood and businesses?
Well in short, they have every right to feel sad and angry and frustrated and disappointed and even depressed because we feel how we feel and whatever we (“we” means High School Graduates) are feeling right now is perfectly valid so go ahead and give yourself permission to feel without any guilt or judgment whatsoever, heck, go ahead and scream and cry too while you’re at it.
This pandemic has caused disappointment and devastation to so many of us and whether it’s a concert, a trip of a lifetime, your Wedding Day, your Prom or your Graduation Ceremony that has had to be postponed inevitably or cancelled completely due to Covid-19 just please try to remember that what you may perceive as a disappointment or devastation may not hold the same grading to someone else and that’s perfectly okay but at the end of the day (a very long day) no matter what, “we are all in this together”.
Congrats to all the Graduates of 2020 (from Preschool to Post Graduate). Wishing you the best of luck and much success on whatever adventures lie ahead.
***And to think, 3 months ago when Rachel found her dream dress for Prom our biggest worry was whether or not it would arrive on time and now I’m left to ponder what we do when it actually does arrive 🤔.
Today is “World Semicolon Day” which gives me another perfect opportunity to share a part of my story and to remind those of us who suffer with a mental illness or who love someone who suffers with a mental illness that you are not alone.
Over the last month or so we have all become a figurative symbol of a Semicolon as we take a pause in the middle of our sentence in order to continue on with our story. Ok so the metaphor may not be perfect but the meaning behind it most certainly is as a semicolon is used as a pause in a sentence, not an ending.
I wanted to share with you again today my article I wrote last year on “World Semicolon Day” which talks about the significance of today as well as what my semicolon tattoo means to me (see pic above). Please stay safe and check on your loved ones. Xoxo.Â
YouAreEnough 
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