YouAreEnough

https://www.facebook.com/reel/871709954210653?sfnsn=mo&s=F5x8gs&fs=e (please watch)

Taking That First Step To Therapy 

Lately I’ve been noticing an influx of people reaching out to me to talk about therapy and wanting to find a therapist. This truly makes me very happy as I am a strong believer in therapy but,  unfortunately there is still such a stigma around it. 

Many people delay taking that first step into therapy because making that initial decision to do so can be a very overwhelming and sometimes burdensome one to make and can often be met with tons of apprehension. People also have a fear of the unknown or a fear that they will be judged or shamed by their friends, family or even their own therapist if they enter into therapy. I also know that the struggle to find a good therapist or one who you feel a deep connection to can be hard.

But whatever your fear or struggle or apprehension may be, just knowing that you are thinking about it means that you are likely ready to take that first step through that door to a safe space with a trained professional who can help you to organize your thoughts and feelings and a place where you can go and be able to “say what ya wanna say” as you begin to work your way through any past grievances or present day transitions in your life that may be holding you back from having a better future. 

Therapy is not just for people who have experienced trauma in their life or who are in distress, it’s also the perfect place to seek out opportunity for growth and self-improvement. So go ahead my brave warriors, take that first step because you deserve the something better that’s waiting for you on the other side of that door; all you gotta do is “let the words fall out”.

Please feel free to reach out anytime. I’m always happy to help anyone and everyone take that first step.

#talktherapy #brave #itsoktoaskforhelp #itsoktonotbeok #startaconversation #saywhatyawannasay #growth #selfimprovement #trauma #distress #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #takethatfirststep #connection #letthewordsfallout @sarabareilles

As a parent we want more than anything to be able to protect our children from this great big messy, sometimes scary but also very beautiful world. 

In order to do so we will often stop at nothing to lie to our kids, avoid many big truths or jump in too quickly to try and “fix” their pain. Unfortunately though by doing so we are not necessarily helping pave the way for them to grow into resilient, adaptable adults who have the ability to feel their own feelings & experiences, navigate their own way through the world or gain the proper tools to cope with the “hard stuff”.

Instead, as Dr. Becky Kennedy, a parenting expert who I follow on Instagram (@drbeckyatgoodinside) points out in her most recent post, we need to “prioritize truth over comfort” when it comes to our children.

I had a real “AHA” moment this morning when I first saw Dr. Becky’s post where she outlines the differences between “Protection Mode” VS “Preparation Mode” in parenting. 

Using the “Preparation Mode” was the exact reason why I chose to publish my children’s book. Children need help navigating their “tough feelings” by leaning into them, owning them, embracing them and validating them with the loving support of trusted adults in their life instead of sending them the message that it’s okay to avoid the “hard stuff” by “prioritizing comfort over truth” which could lead to a child feeling invalidated, worried, fearful or stressed if they aren’t given the proper coping mechanisms they will need in order to deal with that “hard stuff” by the time they reach adulthood. 

I grew up in a home that centered around the “Protection Mode” as I believe many others probably did too. I lacked the ability to feel my own feelings & experiences, navigate my own way in the world or gain the proper tools I needed to cope with the “hard stuff”. Instead I timidly listened behind closed doors. And now, years later and through the help of lots of therapy I can finally see a connection between that little girl and the journey it led me to in my adult life, but the more open and honest we are with our kids today, the less alone and better prepared our future generations will be when leaning into the “tough feelings”.

#ourkidsmatter #preparationmode #protectionmode #adulthood #copingmechanisms #thehardstuff #truth #itsoktoshowourfeelings #resiliency #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #itsoktonotbeok #parentingishard #prioritizetruthovercomfort #wheredidmommyssmilego #author #blogger #advocate 

Trigger Warning: Talk of Eating Disorders, Body Dysmorphic Disorder 

I can’t stand looking in the mirror. Or at pictures of myself for that matter.

I’ve had a very unhealthy relationship with my body since I was 18 years old when the first signs of an eating disorder took flight; long before my battle with Depression and Anxiety began. I’ve spoken very openly through my blogging about the struggles I went through to overcome an eating disorder in my early 20’s but I’ve also admitted that for the last 30 plus years I’ve been on a very bumpy rollercoaster ride that has found me dealing with many of the psychological affects of “Body Dysmorphic Disorder” causing me to go from one extreme to the other at different times in my life by restricting my food intake to binge eating and self-induced purging. None of which are healthy behaviours and all of which can have very dangerous repercussions.

Struggling with depression for more than eight and a half years now has only further triggered my unhealthy relationship with my body, especially after so many failed attempts at medications led to a nearly 100 pound weight gain about 5 years ago, making it more and more difficult for me to find reason to love and accept myself and has instead kept me stuck in a place of self-hate and focused on my perceived flaws.

When I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or in pictures I usually begin by talking shit about myself which, sadly seems to have become one of my greatest strengths, instead of trying to step outside of myself to see how others perceive me, both inside and out, but the bigger issue is, I usually don’t believe them. 

This is especially true when I am at a very low point in my journey like I am experiencing at the present time and I find myself using my distorted body image as reason or a viable excuse for why certain opportunities or goals are not being met.

I am very conscious right now that I have once again entered a danger zone and that I need to let others know I am feeling this way in order to somehow help me take control of the situation. I’m 51, I’m actively dealing with symptoms of perimenopause, I have dark circles under my eyes from sleep deprivation, I battle Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal ideations daily, I have neurological damage from my treatment back in April which has limited my ability to function like I once did and I’m way more irritable than ever before; so I should probably try to cut myself a bit of slack too? Right? 

And I should also probably try to appreciate all that my body can do and keep reminding myself that being imperfectly perfect is okay. I should also probably try to see myself as a whole person and the person I want others to see me as, I should also probably try and overpower my negative self-talk with more positive affirmations and gentle reminders, and I should also probably keep reminding myself everytime I look in the mirror or at a picture of myself that beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.

I’m exhausted but what helps me most right now though is knowing that I am also probably not alone.

#eatingdisorders #bodydysmorphic #distortedmind #bodyimage #bodypositivity #triggers #depression #anxiety #suicideawareness #suicidalideations #negativeselftalk #possitiveaffirmations #agentlereminder #perimenopause #irritability #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youarenotalone #youareenough #imperfectlyperfect #mirrormirroronthewall #unfiltered

Today is World Kindness Day. 

Kindness is one of the greatest gifts we can bestow upon another human being. 

True kindness means giving of yourself without any expectation of gaining something in return. 

Kindness never goes out of style. 

Being kind is cool.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted” ~ Aesop

And the best part is…Kindness is free, so don’t forget to give some to yourself too!!

How can we spread more kindness in the world today?

#worldkindnessday #agentlereminder #kindnessisfree #spreadkindness #bekind #kindnessiscool #kindnessisagift #bekindtoyourselftoo #mentalhealth 

@agentlereminderproject 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid024TZDLhXmaL7n1LPToqhWto8zLCUbZnKEYtKize6G4usYSoCXLphNqgk9KWxoSAr2l&id=100000734852540&sfnsn=mo

Over the past month I’ve been working with Julie who I first told you about several weeks ago to help desensitize my overly sensitive nervous system. And although the slightest touch or noise continue to sound the alarm bells off in my body, making me want to crawl out of my skin many times a day, I am learning new techniques and have been given some great new tools to work with each session. My body is still not responding well to all of them but together we are finding a balance of what exercises, breathing techniques and holistic practices may or may not be helpful for me. 

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I have also been anxiously waiting to hear from the specialist’s office that my Psychiatrist referred me to 6 plus months ago which I still wanted to keep in my back pocket as I continue to live with this unbearable and unrelenting trauma that my body has endured since my treatment back in April. Yesterday I received a call with a follow-up email informing me that they have scheduled an appointment for me mid January. Unfortunately it’s still 2 months away and is only an initial intake appointment via zoom with the Doctor’s assistant but hey, it’s a start. 

Self-advocacy does work because had I not reached out to the specialist’s office on my own last month where the kindhearted receptionist on the other end of the line listened to my pleas and offered to put my name on their waitlist in order to prioritize my queue in the system I’d still be waiting several more months before I received this call.

In the meantime I am making small strides every day in my efforts to calm my distressing symptoms down by continuing to work regularly with Julie (the practitioner) to incorporate as many of the practices I’m learning through pelvic floor physio into my daily routine; that my body will allow of course and still with the hope that by the time I actually have a face to face appointment scheduled with the specialist sometime in the new year that I will no longer need his assistance. 

Here are a few simple but effective pelvic exercises I learned this week called “Face The Day” that have now become part of my morning routine (see video attached).

#selfcare #selfadvocacy #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #pelvicfloor #physio #facetheday #pgad #clinicaltrial #nofilter #youarenotalone #youareenough  

Let me reintroduce myself…

I am a wife to an amazing husband, a mom to 3 beautiful children and 1 sweet fur baby.

I’m a blogger, a mental health advocate and an author of a children’s book.

I am a reality TV junkie.

I don’t drink coffee but I like ice caps with skim milk.

I love hiking.

My family means the world to me.

I may be broken but it’s beautiful. Be you.

#imbrokenbutitsbeautiful #wheredidmommyssmilego #familymatters #mentalhealth #itsoktonotbeok #beyourself #hellomynameis #youareenough #hiking #icecaps #pettherapy #author #blogger #advocate #realitytv

Saturday night was such a special evening for Rich and I and the one thing that made it truly spectacular was being surrounded by genuine love and meaningful friendships, many spanning decades; ALL equally meaning the world to us.

I am very lucky to have so many incredible friendships and whether we’ve been friends for 2 years or 200 they all hold a special place in my heart, even though many may not have been included in our celebration Saturday as this was a celebration intended just for Rich, to honour Rich and HIS friendships.

Either way, at the end of a much needed reprieve from life this weekend it really got me thinking about the meaning of true friendship; that plus a recent Facebook post I happened upon that really triggered me. But after some quiet reflection last night about the Facebook post and Rich’s birthday celebration, I now understand that what had triggered me was actually a good thing.

Friends should make you feel safe and this recent post brought me back to a time not so long ago when I didn’t always believe I deserved better from some relationships in my life; it brought me back to a time where I allowed myself to feel “less than” in some of my friendships and it brought me back to a time where I often allowed myself to be talked down to or continuously gossiped about. 

It also brought me back to a time when I couldn’t see how toxic and negative these relationships truly were or that having an illness which fills me with a lack of self-worth made me believe that I didn’t deserve better. Adult friendships should never be that hard.

True friends don’t keep score and happy people don’t intentionally go around making others unhappy. They don’t belittle people or make endless fun of them to their face or behind their back either.

It’s taken me a long time to work through the sadness of how much I allowed myself to be in toxic relationships, how much I allowed myself to sit at the “mean girls” table or ride the bus with the “schoolyard bullies”. It’s been a difficult journey accepting the truth about who some people really are and I never want to let myself go back there ever again. 

Find your people. I did. Trust me, they are out there.

Would love to hear if any of this resonates with you.

#truefriendship #toxicrelationships #celebratefriendship #triggers #selfworth #mentalhealth #meaningfulrelationships #youarenotalone #findyourpeople #youareenough #reflection #healthyboundaries #acceptingthetruth

Today is an EXTRA-ordinary, UBER- special day and one that is very deserving of recognition!  

To say it’s been a difficult year for our family is truly an understatement and one that has left both Rich and myself not up for celebrating much of anything these days, including many of life’s precious moments, but last night our kids took the reins from us and together, surrounded by the love and support of some friends we got to honour and celebrate Rich on the eve of his 60th birthday; tightly embracing everything that brings us joy. 

I am so grateful each and every day for having your strength, your warm embraces, your gentle reminders, your sense of humour and your endless amount of love and support for the kids and I.

Life may not always be perfect or easy or exactly how we anticipate it to be but everytime I see you smile Rich, it truly makes my heart sing 🎶

Happy 60th birthday and many, MANY more!

I hope you had a great time last night and a fabulous day today and that all your wishes come true. 

Love you always and forever, 

Signed, Your MUCH younger wife 🤪 

P.S. A special thank you to our amazing kids who made last night possible, giving us all a night to cherish forever and for gently reminding us as well that the most precious moments in life truly are the ones spent with family and friends by your side. Looking back at the pics I took though, I do wish I’d captured more of those precious moments with my camera but I guess I was just too busy being in the moment! 

#happybirthday #imarriedanoldman #dreamoutloud #makeawish  #winterspringsummerandfallofrich #grateful #blessed #ageisjustanumber #Iloveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday #friendship #familymatters #youareenough #makingmemories #beinginthemoment #cherishedmomemts

The last few weeks have been super challenging. 

I feel like I’m no longer worthy of ever experiencing peace or joy in my life again; or at least that’s how it feels somedays in my shoes anyways.

I’ll admit that with each added stressor in my life lately I’ve somehow turned into a raging, out of control lunatic at times. I’m pretty sure Rich has even witnessed my head spinning around a few times just like a scene straight out of “The Exorcist”.

But yesterday I felt a sense of calm come over me after life reached a new tipping point just the evening before. 

I’m still feeling very anxious today but for the first time in well over a week I’ve been able to breathe a little easier.

I can’t be exactly sure or even know how long this feeling will hold out for but either way I’m heading into the weekend with the best of intentions, focusing solely on the “now” and staying hopeful that I will breathe in as many joyful and peace filled moments as I possibly can while we celebrate “My Guy” as he enters into a new decade this Sunday!!! 

#shabbatshalom #summerofrich #senseofcalm #anxiety #birthdayweekend #celebrate #family #friends #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #peace #joy #birthdaycelebrations #anewdecade #iamworthy #iamenough #theexorcist 

Today is the 1st of November which marks the beginning of “Domestic Violence Awareness Month” as well as “Movember”. 

Both movements hold equal value and importance.

Both movements deserving of equal recognition. 

Both movements in desperate need of equal attention.

Both movements requiring critical, lifesaving conversations to occur.

Both movements asking for our support. 

Both movements asking each and every one of us to take action now.

We need our voices to be heard loud and clear in order to help educate, bring awareness, make a positive impact or change and give hope to others; many of whom may be suffering in silence by squashing stereotypes, encouraging a loved one who may not see their own self-worth and showing compassion & kindness to every single human being. 

DVAM: “Living into our values and cultivating joy.”

MOVEMBER: “Change the face of men’s health”

#domesticviolenceawarenessmonth #movember #livingintoourvaluesandcultivatingjoy #changethefaceofmenshealth #domesticviolence #suicideprevention #prostatecancer #testicularcancer #depressioninmen #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #preventingfamilyviolence #dontsufferinsilence #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #endthestigmatogether #compassion #kindness #startaconversation #hope #positivechange