Saturday night was such a special evening for Rich and I and the one thing that made it truly spectacular was being surrounded by genuine love and meaningful friendships, many spanning decades; ALL equally meaning the world to us.
I am very lucky to have so many incredible friendships and whether we’ve been friends for 2 years or 200 they all hold a special place in my heart, even though many may not have been included in our celebration Saturday as this was a celebration intended just for Rich, to honour Rich and HIS friendships.
Either way, at the end of a much needed reprieve from life this weekend it really got me thinking about the meaning of true friendship; that plus a recent Facebook post I happened upon that really triggered me. But after some quiet reflection last night about the Facebook post and Rich’s birthday celebration, I now understand that what had triggered me was actually a good thing.
Friends should make you feel safe and this recent post brought me back to a time not so long ago when I didn’t always believe I deserved better from some relationships in my life; it brought me back to a time where I allowed myself to feel “less than” in some of my friendships and it brought me back to a time where I often allowed myself to be talked down to or continuously gossiped about.
It also brought me back to a time when I couldn’t see how toxic and negative these relationships truly were or that having an illness which fills me with a lack of self-worth made me believe that I didn’t deserve better. Adult friendships should never be that hard.
True friends don’t keep score and happy people don’t intentionally go around making others unhappy. They don’t belittle people or make endless fun of them to their face or behind their back either.
It’s taken me a long time to work through the sadness of how much I allowed myself to be in toxic relationships, how much I allowed myself to sit at the “mean girls” table or ride the bus with the “schoolyard bullies”. It’s been a difficult journey accepting the truth about who some people really are and I never want to let myself go back there ever again.
Find your people. I did. Trust me, they are out there.
Would love to hear if any of this resonates with you.
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