Protection Mode VS Preparation Mode

Dr. Becky

As a parent we want more than anything to be able to protect our children from this great big messy, sometimes scary but also very beautiful world. 

In order to do so we will often stop at nothing to lie to our kids, avoid many big truths or jump in too quickly to try and “fix” their pain. Unfortunately though by doing so we are not necessarily helping pave the way for them to grow into resilient, adaptable adults who have the ability to feel their own feelings & experiences, navigate their own way through the world or gain the proper tools to cope with the “hard stuff”.

Instead, as Dr. Becky Kennedy, a parenting expert who I follow on Instagram (@drbeckyatgoodinside) points out in her most recent post, we need to “prioritize truth over comfort” when it comes to our children.

Dr. Becky

I had a real “AHA” moment this morning when I first saw Dr. Becky’s post where she outlines the differences between “Protection Mode” VS “Preparation Mode” in parenting. 

Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?

Using the “Preparation Mode” was the exact reason why I chose to publish my children’s book. Children need help navigating their “tough feelings” by leaning into them, owning them, embracing them and validating them with the loving support of trusted adults in their life instead of sending them the message that it’s okay to avoid the “hard stuff” by “prioritizing comfort over truth” which could lead to a child feeling invalidated, worried, fearful or stressed if they aren’t given the proper coping mechanisms they will need in order to deal with that “hard stuff” by the time they reach adulthood. 

Dr. Becky

I grew up in a home that centered around the “Protection Mode” as I believe many others probably did too. I lacked the ability to feel my own feelings & experiences, navigate my own way in the world or gain the proper tools I needed to cope with the “hard stuff”. Instead I timidly listened behind closed doors. And now, years later and through the help of lots of therapy I can finally see a connection between that little girl and the journey it led me to in my adult life, but the more open and honest we are with our kids today, the less alone and better prepared our future generations will be when leaning into the “tough feelings”.

#ourkidsmatter #preparationmode #protectionmode #adulthood #copingmechanisms #thehardstuff #truth #itsoktoshowourfeelings #resiliency #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #itsoktonotbeok #parentingishard #prioritizetruthovercomfort #wheredidmommyssmilego #author #blogger #advocate 

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

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