Category: Mental Health

Trigger Warning ⚠️ 

I’m home now; (in case you missed my post last night: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2022/09/01/trigger-warning/).

I am feeling both mentally and physically exhausted. 

My trip to the ER yesterday afternoon has left me feeling further confused and to be perfectly honest, even more defeated than I was 24 hours ago. 

There is so much happening in my personal life right now and for most of you reading this I have only just scratched the surface of what’s actually been going on behind closed doors for the last 5 months or more; it’s just too personal and agonizing to share. It can feel very lonely at times as well.

These added stressors in my life, whether it be from my personal journey itself or my physical and mental health, have left me completely broken once and for all. 

I am still enduring unrelenting and simply unbearable effects from the Psilocybin Research Trial I participated in back on April 2nd which continues to be a daily struggle for me due to the rarity of my diagnosis and trying to get the proper care I so desperately need right now feels almost impossible, with wait times up to a year or more to see a specialist who could possibly help me (they are very few and far between in Canada due to its rarity). I did ask the ER doctor last night if he had any other suggestions for me, then told me that their hospital is not equipped to handle my condition and that waiting on the referral which my Psychiatrist already made is probably the best route to go because it is such a specific and difficult diagnosis to treat. So I guess all I can do for now is try and hold on to the hope that the Neurologist who I last saw back in July was right when he told me that “a circuit broke in my brain on the day of my treatment and that “hopefully” it will just eventually fix itself!”

Before being released after a very tiresome night which came to an end just around midnight and with additional referrals and resources in wait, the doctor on call as well as the crisis worker whom I spoke with in great length praised me for coming in and for having the strength to seek help when I’m in crisis and knowing that when life feels too much to bare on my own they are always there to help keep me safe, which is their main priority. 

I’m slowly learning that “it’s okay if you fall apart sometimes, tacos fall apart all the time and we still love them” (I do love tacos!).

Thank you to everyone for showering me with so much love and support yesterday and for continuing to encourage me and show me I’m worth fighting for. I am truly grateful. 

#mentalhealth #mentalwellness #selfcareawarenessmonth #suicideawarenessmonth #itsoktofallapart #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #itsoktoaskforhelp #whatnow #depression #treatmentresistant #friendship #support #tacos #grateful 

I’m writing this as I lie in an overwhelmed emergency room (that’s probably an understatement). After being triaged I was quickly whisked off to an area of emerg where they treat mentally unwell patients. I am now under a watchful eye of hospital security while I await the crisis team to come talk to me. As an outsider looking in, this is an extremely scary place to be. Just moments ago a patient was brought in, restrained by 6 police officers/security guards. It was in that very moment that I remembered why I try everything in my power to avoid coming to emerg while feeling at my most vulnerable but it was also in that moment that I reminded myself that it was where I needed to be.

Some days though it’s much easier said than done. 

September is National Self-Care Awareness month. 

September is Suicide Awareness month. 

September I will be focusing my attention on the importance of both self-care and suicide awareness. Let me start with a personal message to anyone else who needs to hear this today. Self-care is not selfish, asking for help is courageous; remember, you are not alone and guess what; it’s more than okay to not be okay some days.

#emerg #mentalhealth #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #nationalselfcareawarenessmonth #nationalsuicideawarenessmonth #depression #anxiety #suicidalideations #itsoktoaskforhelp #feelingbroken 

Yup August definitely slipped away into a moment in time. But so too has the whole summer and before we know it another year will be over.

Why does time seem to go by so quickly the older we get?

From a psychological standpoint the answer is simple. So much of what we experience as children is fresh and new and fascinating and mindful which allows their young minds to process more information than we as adults do, making our experiences the older we get feel more familiar to us and eventually we just seem to become more and more desensitized to them.

As adults though we also very often forget how to slow down, how to enjoy our new experiences, how to develop new skills or hobbies or how to make a conscious effort to be more mindful. We forget how to just be in the moment and pay closer attention to our surroundings by living through our senses like children do. 

Maybe the answer to the question above, “why does time seem to go by so quickly the older we get?” is really about learning how to expand the time we live while in those moments, taking a step back while in that moment and being more curious and childlike and mindful by asking ourselves while in the moment “what do my new surroundings/experience feel like? Taste like? Sound like? Smell like? And look like?” This is a practice I use everytime I go hiking and maybe it’s why I enjoy it so much (try it for yourself even if it’s while doing the dishes or sitting in bumper to bumper traffic). 

And as Einstein once said, “Time is relative; it’s only worth depends upon what we do as it is passing.” 

#passingtime #mindfulness #beinthemoment #takeastepback #usingoursenses #itsallrelative #Einstein #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #lookaround #wherehasthetimegone #taylorswift #August #childlike #becurious 

*Trigger Warning*

Depression distorts your thoughts and leaves you feeling emotionally vulnerable.

It’s exhausting.

It challenges everything you thought you once knew.

But Depression cannot be trusted. It lies and deceives.

It chirps in your ear day and night, telling you that you aren’t trying hard enough.

It makes you believe that you are a burden and that nothing truly matters.

It leaves you feeling hopeless.

It convinces you that you will never get better and that you are simply unfixable and then just when you think its lies can’t possibly get any worse it will try to convince you that your life isn’t even worth fighting for anymore.

Lies. Lies. Lies…

*If you or someone you love is struggling with a mental health crisis, please reach out. You are not alone. There are resources available right now at your nearest emergency room or call 1.833.456.4566 immediately.

#liesdepressiontellsyou #selfcare #mentalhealth #voicesofdepression #suicidalthoughts #Depression #itsoktonotbeok #suicideawareness #askforhelp #startaconversation #youarenotalone #youareenough

Wishing you a very successful first day of work at your new job today Hannah. I am certain it will be the beginning of a very thriving and fulfilling career ahead. They are lucky to have you join their team, as would anyone!

You earned this all on your own and I am just so damn proud of you for all the hard work and passion you’ve put forth over the last five years, working to fulfill your goals and finding a pathway in life which offers both meaning and purpose to you.

Alongside all of your excitement today though you may also be feeling a mix of some pretty intense emotions as you embark on this next phase of your life and in anticipation of what’s to come as you take that first step into “the real world”. It’s a pretty big world out there which can feel pretty scary at times; especially when those feelings of self-doubt creep in on you every now and again, but it’s ok if and when they do, it happens, even to the most confident and strongest of people.

There will likely be many twists and turns and bumps along the road ahead for you as well. The road to success is not always going to be a straight line but don’t ever let that stop you because it’s those twists and turns and bumps along the way that are going to take you to some pretty terrific places that you probably can’t even imagine right now.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life but tomorrow is too so keep dreaming out loud Hannah, keep believing in yourself and your abilities, keep reaching for the stars and no matter where the road ahead takes you, promise me that you will always keep looking forward. 

Mazel Tov 🥂

#youvegotthis #dreamoutloud #goals #confidentandstrong #hearmeroar #advicefromyourmom #proudmama #theygrowupsofast #middlechild #firstdayofwork #keeplookingforward #tomorrowisanotherday #firstdayoftherestofyourlife #youdidit #reachforthestars #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #agentlereminder #theroadahead #meaning #purpose #iloveyoutothemoonandback  #communicationsmajor #eventmanagement  #mondaymotivation

How are you protecting your mental health today?

#summerofrich #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #immersed #justbreathe #friendship

*Trigger Warning*

I’m pretty sure I’ve reached rock bottom. Actually I’m more than just pretty sure; it’s for damn sure. 

When you hit rock bottom you quickly lose sight of the bigger picture. 

But when you feel as though you can’t take it anymore and all you want more than anything right now is to give up, there you are, through thick and thin; gently reminding me of my worth in this world. 

Motivating me to keep looking forward, believing in me, validating me and giving me what often feels like the last glimmer of hope to help me get through today and then without judgment you do it all over again tomorrow.

Accepting my flaws, my sadness and pain, the not-so-pretty stuff, the vulnerability and all the weirdness in my life; and still you are able to see my inner beauty. 

Holding my hand, wiping my tears away and going that extra mile to put a smile on my face; any way you know how. 

You continue to show me how loved I am, how needed I am; that I am not alone, that I matter and that I am enough. 

And you do it all without hesitation, using every ounce of your own strength to shovel away the rocks that are weighing me down in order to save me from my darkness and carry me into the light. 

Just know, from the bottom of my heart I will always and forever be eternally grateful to you and for you.

xoxo

#rockbottom #eternallygrateful #gratefulheart #iamenough #anopenletter #fromthebottomofmyheart #mentalhealth #depression #treatmentresistant #anxiety #suicideawareness #suicideprevention #ideations #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone

Let me start by saying that when I look back on the weekend that just passed and view it in its entirety I feel truly blessed. 

It was really nice. Many of you probably saw pictures on Social Media.

It was filled with so many special moments. 

Saturday I got to witness a very dear friend whom I’ve known for close to 40 years marry her best friend and celebrate their happily ever after. 

Sunday I got to spend the entire day and part of the evening anchored in the middle of a lake to the boat of other very, very dear friends; eating and laughing and then eating some more.

Yup, I am truly blessed. But by last night I collapsed from the exhaustion of the weekend and I hadn’t even gone hiking!

I’m not speaking of a physical exhaustion persay (although that was very much present as well); it was more of an emotional one. The weekend left me in a state of sensory overload and I felt myself slowly begin to crash and burn somewhere in the latter part of yesterday afternoon; leaving me restless, nauseous to the core, my heart palpitating out of my chest, my eyes welling up with tears and my brain completely overwhelmed as it wandered to a dark and dismal place. All of my senses were in overdrive.

As I said above I had a really nice weekend and I am beyond grateful that I got to witness my dear friend marry her beloved on Saturday afternoon and that I got to spend the entire day Sunday out on the water with friends who mean the world to Rich and I. 

I am so grateful knowing that I have so many amazing people in my life to share these special moments with and who I also know I can always be myself around no matter what. But still, I have learned to adapt, to fake it till I make it and to hide behind my mask as best as I can for the sake of others.

I know that “smiling through depression” and anxiety may be confusing to those who don’t live with a mental illness or love someone who may be suffering with one but just try to imagine for a moment the feeling you’d get while holding your breath under water for an extended period of time, gasping for air; it’s enough to leave anyone breathless and exhausted.

#burnout #sensoryoverload  #smilingthroughdepression #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depression #anxiety #emotionallyexhausted #blessed #friendshipgoals #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/443769291041815?extid=chYV2B&fs=e

It’s been a week 😑 but I’m looking forward to an entire weekend filled with friendship and love ❤️. 

“Self-blame is one of the most toxic forms of emotional abuse” and pain there is.

It makes you feel inadequate. 

It fills you with hopelessness. 

It’s paralyzing. 

I feel like the walls are closing in on me, like I can’t do this anymore. 

I put my trust in God. 

I keep thinking positive thoughts. 

Now what?

It all just feels like a losing battle but at least they’ll never say she didn’t try. 

I tell myself that things will get better. Things have to get better tomorrow. 

#iwillbeok #slippingthroughmyfingers #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #iamenough #thingshavetogetbetter #suicideawareness

Someone recently asked me to share with them all the positive affects depression has had on my life. It sounds strange but I have never shied away from acknowledging all the amazing parts of me that I have discovered or the many feats I have accomplished if not for my illness.

Three years ago today is definitely at the top of that list and one of the most exciting and fulfilling days of my entire life when the first shipment of my children’s book which I’d spent the previous 18 months working on arrived on my front porch. It was everything I’d envisioned it to be and more. There have been many obstacles thrown my way since publishing my book which you can read about here: (https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/08/16/monday-motivation-crushing-your-dreams/) but knowing that my book has had such a positive impact and touched so many lives by helping to guide parents, teachers, caregivers and loved ones help children (and adults) understand and cope with their feelings when someone they love is suffering with Depression is what I wish to focus on today. 

Today I wish to focus on resilience, dreams, goals and purpose. 

I made a recording of myself reading my book this morning that I wanted to share with you. 

Please feel free to share with someone you love who you know could benefit from reading “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?”, a classroom setting or if you would like your own personal signed copy, DM me today.

#wheredidmommyssmilego #depression #childrensbook #author #selfpublished #reading #children #understandingdepression #ouryouthmatter #resilience #goals #dreams #purpose #yourmentalhealthmatters #advocate #blogger #writer