Let me start by saying that when I look back on the weekend that just passed and view it in its entirety I feel truly blessed. 

It was really nice. Many of you probably saw pictures on Social Media.

It was filled with so many special moments. 

Saturday I got to witness a very dear friend whom I’ve known for close to 40 years marry her best friend and celebrate their happily ever after. 

Sunday I got to spend the entire day and part of the evening anchored in the middle of a lake to the boat of other very, very dear friends; eating and laughing and then eating some more.

Yup, I am truly blessed. But by last night I collapsed from the exhaustion of the weekend and I hadn’t even gone hiking!

I’m not speaking of a physical exhaustion persay (although that was very much present as well); it was more of an emotional one. The weekend left me in a state of sensory overload and I felt myself slowly begin to crash and burn somewhere in the latter part of yesterday afternoon; leaving me restless, nauseous to the core, my heart palpitating out of my chest, my eyes welling up with tears and my brain completely overwhelmed as it wandered to a dark and dismal place. All of my senses were in overdrive.

As I said above I had a really nice weekend and I am beyond grateful that I got to witness my dear friend marry her beloved on Saturday afternoon and that I got to spend the entire day Sunday out on the water with friends who mean the world to Rich and I. 

I am so grateful knowing that I have so many amazing people in my life to share these special moments with and who I also know I can always be myself around no matter what. But still, I have learned to adapt, to fake it till I make it and to hide behind my mask as best as I can for the sake of others.

I know that “smiling through depression” and anxiety may be confusing to those who don’t live with a mental illness or love someone who may be suffering with one but just try to imagine for a moment the feeling you’d get while holding your breath under water for an extended period of time, gasping for air; it’s enough to leave anyone breathless and exhausted.

#burnout #sensoryoverload  #smilingthroughdepression #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depression #anxiety #emotionallyexhausted #blessed #friendshipgoals #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough 

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.


  1. mental exhaustion, in my opinion, is the worst over physical. i love what you wrote here, i’m very young, and i’ve known emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and depression for pretty much as long as i can remember, so i sometimes forget that people don’t understand “smiling through depression” anyways, i hope you got the rest you needed and deserved. 😁


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