Let me start by saying that when I look back on the weekend that just passed and view it in its entirety I feel truly blessed.
It was really nice. Many of you probably saw pictures on Social Media.
It was filled with so many special moments.
Saturday I got to witness a very dear friend whom I’ve known for close to 40 years marry her best friend and celebrate their happily ever after.
Sunday I got to spend the entire day and part of the evening anchored in the middle of a lake to the boat of other very, very dear friends; eating and laughing and then eating some more.
Yup, I am truly blessed. But by last night I collapsed from the exhaustion of the weekend and I hadn’t even gone hiking!
I’m not speaking of a physical exhaustion persay (although that was very much present as well); it was more of an emotional one. The weekend left me in a state of sensory overload and I felt myself slowly begin to crash and burn somewhere in the latter part of yesterday afternoon; leaving me restless, nauseous to the core, my heart palpitating out of my chest, my eyes welling up with tears and my brain completely overwhelmed as it wandered to a dark and dismal place. All of my senses were in overdrive.
As I said above I had a really nice weekend and I am beyond grateful that I got to witness my dear friend marry her beloved on Saturday afternoon and that I got to spend the entire day Sunday out on the water with friends who mean the world to Rich and I.
I am so grateful knowing that I have so many amazing people in my life to share these special moments with and who I also know I can always be myself around no matter what. But still, I have learned to adapt, to fake it till I make it and to hide behind my mask as best as I can for the sake of others.
I know that “smiling through depression” and anxiety may be confusing to those who don’t live with a mental illness or love someone who may be suffering with one but just try to imagine for a moment the feeling you’d get while holding your breath under water for an extended period of time, gasping for air; it’s enough to leave anyone breathless and exhausted.
#burnout #sensoryoverload #smilingthroughdepression #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depression #anxiety #emotionallyexhausted #blessed #friendshipgoals #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough
YouAreEnough 
mental exhaustion, in my opinion, is the worst over physical. i love what you wrote here, i’m very young, and i’ve known emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and depression for pretty much as long as i can remember, so i sometimes forget that people don’t understand “smiling through depression” anyways, i hope you got the rest you needed and deserved. 😁
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Oh I’m so sorry you are suffering so much. Mental exhaustion takes over your entire being which adds to the physical exhaustion as well. Smiling through depression is super exhausting 😪
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