Spiritual Awakening

Last night, I drifted off to sleep without any of my usual nighttime aids. There were no 1 A.M chats with my night owl friends, no background noise from the television which I had turned off and I wasn’t scrolling my Facebook Reels which I often use to distract me from the noise in my head during a restless night’s sleep. Just my Himalayan Salt Lamp to guide me in the darkness.


I felt a stillness in the air. It was a welcomed silence and calm.


The quiet of the night always feels scary to me. Even as a young child. 

My brain never shuts off, especially not long enough for me to enjoy the silence. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to just lie awake, in silence. Or better, fall asleep in it.


The only thing I was thinking about as I drifted off to sleep on our family room couch last night was the Zoom call I had just finished. It was with a Psychologist who reached out to me last week after she happened upon the recently published article I’d interviewed for the week prior. Her original intent for contacting me was to say thank you for my honesty and truth regarding my Psychedelic journey. 


When we agreed to a scheduled Zoom call, neither one of us really knew what its exact intentions were or where the conversation would lead to.


It turned out to be quite cathartic for the both of us. We shared some very personal anecdotes from our past, and for nearly 2 hours, we spoke about spirituality, God, and Near Death Experiences. She reassured me, like so many do, that I am never out of options. I told her that I felt like I was at this point in my journey. She went on to say that each path we take in life is never a mistake as there is never just one path traveled to get to the top of that mountain. I truly believe our paths crossed for a reason. 


Her belief is that we are all put on this earth for a purpose and to help others find their own purpose too. 


From hearing parts of my story and reading some of my blogs, she believes that my purpose in life is to lift up humanity and that the universe has already given me the “ingredients” to do just that. Like so many others in my life who see so much more in me than I do, she wants to make sure that I never choose to silence my voice, and let me know that I still have so much more work to do with my time left on this earth. 


Our conversation was both overwhelming and meaningful. She left me with so much to think about. It’s all I have been thinking about today, to be honest. Maybe this is what a spiritual awakening feels like? I haven’t been feeling well today. I even had to leave work early due to a severe flare-up. My nervous system went into complete overdrive this afternoon. Could this perhaps be my body and mind’s reaction to coming back to its original self?


Have you ever had a spiritual awakening?


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Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

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