This is quite a difficult challenge for me as I hate posting pictures of myself, but I truly love the beautiful meaning behind this initiative and seeing so many outstanding women supporting and inspiring each other and so here I am!
I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by an exceptional tribe of magnificent and awe-inspiring women.
Thank you Carolyn Donsky for the nomination and thank you to all the amazing and strong women in my life who lift me up each and every day.
“When women support each other, incredible things happen.”-unknown author
It’s 11:11. Time to make your wishes come true! We all make wishes subconsciously throughout our day, probably numerous times per day, that which we hope to fulfill.
Many of these wishes are just a fleeting moment in time like when you find yourself wishing it would stop raining outside or maybe you wish you could take a vacation.
Then there are the wishes that are done with more of a conscious mind like when we wish we we could find a way to have more money or wish we could somehow find a way to better our health or then there is the wish of so many who are longing (and wishing) to find that one true love to share their life with.
In order for our wishes to come true, they need to become more than just idle thoughts. They take vision, they take a mental image, they take intent, they take direction and they need to be written down and read out loud many times a day.
Wishes can and do come true, so tell me one thing that you wish for right now?
I’m sure most of you reading this have probably seen or read the news lately and whenever there is any kind of distraction from the Global Pandemic or finding out what the President of the United States (a term I use loosely) has said or done now, we welcome this much needed distraction with open arms. I of course particularly love the distractions that come from Hollywood or Reality TV because (I’ll be honest), those are two of my biggest obsessions in life, but what has been playing out in Hollywood/Reality TV over the past week or so in regards to the Kardashian and West family is truly heartbreaking.
Yes the Kardashians in particular have undoubtedly chosen to be in the public eye and have allowed us into their homes for over ten years now but when the cameras are turned off, the world still watches them in judgment, waiting for the next piece of Tabloid News to hit the stands. At the end of the day they are human which means that they make mistakes, they bleed, they hurt and they are not immune to disease or death either. This also means that no matter what or how they choose to live their lives, it can’t be easy always having the world watching your every move.
It’s been no secret for several years now that Kanye suffers with Bipolar Disorder which is a very complex Mental Disorder. Bipolar Disorder “causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, concentration and the ability to carry out day to day tasks.” A person with a Bipolar Disorder will go through periods of extremely “up, elated, irritable or energized behavior to very down, sad, indifferent or hopeless.”
Bipolar Disorder is a treatable illness and although it can be managed with medication, therapy and other treatments it is also a lifelong illness that normally needs a lifetime of monitoring in order for someone suffering to have a good quality of life. The last thing anyone, famous or not, needs while experiencing a manic or depressive episode of Bipolar is to be met with criticism or abandonment and when it’s being played out so publicly the way it has been with Kanye is sadly being met exactly this way.
My only hope is that Kanye gets the help he so desperately needs right now and that he can begin to use his platform for good (even though he’s got my vote for President. Oh right, I can’t vote!) and let his many fans around the world understand that sickness does not translate into weakness and that sometimes in life we fall down but that it’s okay to ask for help when you need help getting back up again.
We need to learn how to lift each other up with kindness and empathy because no one is immune to Mental Illness.
I know the one thing that many of us are really missing and craving most in our lives right now is the gentle touch of a hug from friends and family.
For many individuals it has been well over 4 months since they have been able to feel the warmth of a hug or any other kind of positive physical touch for that matter which is definitely starting to have a very negative impact on many people’s mental health.
Even though more and more communities are starting to reopen slowly (in Ontario and much of Canada that is) and more and more things are starting to return to “normal” (but what is normal anymore?), the one thing that still remains the same is that we need to continue to be vigilant when it comes to physical distancing because if we let our guard down too much or too soon there could be even further and other detrimental consequences to our actions.
It is unnatural for most human beings to live without any kind of physical touch at all. Positive physical touch is soothing, it’s calming and scientifically speaking, it is of the utmost importance to our wellbeing.
Whether it’s just as simple as a tap on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a high five, a squeeze of the hand, a stroke of the arm, a kiss on the cheek or a warm embrace, the power that physical touch has on both our bodies and minds can easily let someone know that no matter what, it’s all going to be okay and who amongst us doesn’t need to feel that extra sense of safety and security right about now?
But in the meantime as we continue to wait out the storm lets all celebrate International Self-Care Day today by taking care of you first. Try giving some of that extra love you are missing or craving so much to yourself instead with a great big ole bear hug and remember to hold on as long and as tightly as you need.
I think it’s probably safe to say that face masks are here to stay, but for how long, well that’s pretty much anybody’s guess?
For the past 6 years going into any large public spaces has not been an easy task for me. For the better part of 6 years now I’ve managed to avoid going to most Grocery Stores, Walmart and Malls as much as humanly possible but when the need arises nowadays I put on a face mask to help protect myself and others.
Since it looks as though face masks are here to stay for the foreseeable future most (but definitely not all) people have begun to embrace our new norm as more than just a necessity to help curb the spread of Covid-19 but from what I can see they have quickly become one of the hottest selling fashion accessories around and for many people they are also becoming the perfect way to show Self-Expression.
With face masks now being a way of life for most of us, many individuals who were once afraid to express their true authentic self are now using this as an opportunity to show the world who they really are even if the irony is not lost as we are having to do so by covering up our faces.
Self-Expression doesn’t necessarily have to be something creative it just has to be you. It’s a way of transforming our thoughts and feelings into some other form. It allows us to display our individuality, reflect on our beliefs and needs and it’s also a great way to help validate oneself.
As I continue on my difficult journey toward finding Mental Wellness and Self-Discovery I can now do so while sporting my brand new fashion accessory which I have just added to my collection. It is a true and authentic expression of who I am, it is a reflection of what I so passionately advocate for and it is a gentle way to remind each and every passerby that no matter what; “You Are Enough”.
***this is the logo I had created a few years ago which has not only become my signature and the name of my Blog but it has also become the backdrop for my Facebook page “youareenough” and several other projects***
I went for a walk this afternoon with Rich. When we left the house the sun was shining brightly in our faces through a few white clouds but as we kept walking further and further away from our home we stopped for a moment and looked up at the sky behind us which had suddenly become very, very dark.
We knew that it was only a matter of time before we would be heading straight into the oncoming storm as we tried making our way back home. As Rich picked up his pace in order to try and beat the storm I shouted to him (half jokingly) from up ahead, words which I have heard echoed to me many many times before throughout my journey: “We can’t look back, we can only look forward.”
When we get stuck looking back on our past we can often begin to second guess ourselves and the decisions we make, easily filling our minds with regret and dread; something that my own depressive mind continues to do on a very regular basis.
It was too late by this point in our walk to do anything but look forward anyways (and get home quick). Looking forward helps us create silver linings (and if we are lucky maybe even a rainbow) and it also encourages us to live in the moment which once again is so much of what I need to work on for myself. (Oh and in case you were wondering, we made it home just in the nick of time!)
*I just thought I’d preface this Blog by letting you know that it has been a particularly hard one to write.*
I’ve mentioned recently that I’ve needed a break lately because my mental health has been on a downward spiral. Since I began sharing my journey with you I have done so with the utmost honestly that which has always included open conversations about many of the most intimate and raw moments in my life. But there is still so much I don’t share with you or won’t share for that matter and lately it’s just been so difficult to share much at all (good or bad).
Right now I feel as though both my body and mind are tangled together in one gigantic ball of knots which feels like it’s getting harder and harder to undo each day. I do have moments where I manage to unravel some of the knots or at least loosen them up but before I can catch my breath again they just tighten back up, somedays even more than before.
If I can quote myself here for a brief moment from a Blog I wrote last week titled: Give Me A Break where I said “Everyone has varying degrees of stress that they deal with but when battling with daily symptoms of depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations at the same time can make it particularly difficult to manage.”; and sometimes when this is happening we feel the need to turn to a place of comfort to help us heal and unfortunately that can sometimes include old habits, which is exactly where I found myself at about a week ago.
I hate myself more than ever right now for writing this or for even thinking it out loud, but last week I bought my first pack of cigarettes in almost six months. This week I should be celebrating that I haven’t had a cigarette in six months but instead I am sitting here in shame (and with tears in my eyes) telling you a very different story.
To think that I had made it almost six months without lighting up a cigarette even though I’ve wanted to many, many, MANY times makes me just want to throw up. I feel like an even bigger failure, I mean who wouldn’t, right?
When I made the decision to quit smoking on January 14th while still recovering from a concussion that had occurred on the morning of January 2nd no one could have ever imagined what lay ahead. 2020 has pretty much sucked for most of the world but the Pandemic alone is not what led me to go buy that pack of cigarettes seeing as most of what is going on in my life presently began way before the Pandemic ever did.
Has the Pandemic amplified the urgency of certain issues, 1000 percent it has and smoking had always been there for me in the past to help calm me and although I have reaped the many benefits from the nicotine withdrawal itself, the actual habit of smoking a cigarette has always been on my mind.
Research shows that it can actually take an average smoker 30 attempts before they quit. The good news is that I’m not really enjoying smoking like I did in the past, nor am I smoking nearly what I used to so my plan this time around is to take it slowly and try a different approach, one which allows me to unravel one knot at a time before I even attempt to try and loosen up another one.
Today I need to check out and take care of my mental health. I am completely overwhelmed, exhausted and finding it very hard to cope with many challenges I’m facing in my life right now.
Everyone has varying degrees of stress that they deal with but when battling with daily symptoms of depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations at the same time can make it particularly difficult to manage.
It is imperative that we listen to both our bodies and minds when they are telling us that we need to take a break and step away from our day to day stressors in order to recharge, refocus and reset.
Taking a mental health break means doing something for you whether its as simple as catching up on sleep or going for a walk so long as it’s something that helps inspire you, helps your creativity, helps to adjust your perspective, helps you to become more productive or helps you to get a better handle on your emotions.
What are some ways that help you recharge, refocus or reset?
For the better part of six years now I have found myself wondering most days “Why is life so hard?” and over time (I’m guessing just in the last four months alone) it has probably crossed your mind many times as well. We are all human beings after all and we will all fall on hard times in our lifetime after all and we all go through our own emotional rollercoasters through different stages of our life after all; it’s what makes us human after all!
At any given moment when life becomes too hard we may need a little extra support and guidance to get us through which is when it’s most important to remember that it’s okay to rely on others for help and it’s more than okay to ask. Some days/nights when I am experiencing a particularly acute and dire episode of negative emotions (crazy amount lately) I will often allow my mind to wander to my super social supports (support can come from many different kinds of people and places). Just thinking about them and knowing that they are there for me in case I need to reach out can provide me with a level of comfort to help get me through in the moment because ignoring our negative emotions or trying to avoid facing our hard times head on will not make them go away. In fact from what I have learned over time will only create further despair and mental anguish. One of the most difficult things I’ve had to learn to accept over the last six years is that it’s all part of our journey and talking through it can really help you better understand your feelings.
I have also learned over the last couple of years that making self-care a top priority is one of necessity when life is especially hard. For me that includes writing and journaling, reading a good (self-help) book, doing a puzzle, taking a warm bubble bath, texting with a friend or going for a hike or a long walk. Since the onset of Covid-19 Rich and I have tried to prioritize taking long walks every day and exploring our neighbourhood. Until recently when the temperatures weren’t so crazy hot and humid we would go for an hour or two walk during the day but have recently moved it to the evenings. I’ve even found getting caught in the rain sometimes an added bonus!
What do you do to take care of you in hard times? What do you find works best?
If you haven’t kinda noticed by now (but I thought it seemed pretty obvious lol), I don’t tend to post pictures of myself very often and the simple truth is that when I see myself on the other side of the camera I get completely freaked out. What I see in front of me and what the rest of you may see tell two very different stories.
What I see in front of me is someone who is lost, someone who is full of fear and self-doubt, someone who has been broken for far too long, someone who is worthless or not good enough, someone who is overwhelmed 99% of the time and someone who is complete and utterly defeated right now.
My journey over the last 6 years has been hard and I tend to lose my focus a lot, probably because it’s just so easy to get side tracked along the way from your destination when someone is always looking directly at you in the mirror and seeing the ugly truth about you even if others may try and tell you it’s all just lies.
My illness prefers to believe the lies though and would much rather just accept the negative rhetoric than believe that I am worthy or capable. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said; “Life is a journey, not a destination” which is something I need to remind myself of often and now more than ever. I need to also remember that our life’s journey is filled with many days, months or even years of pictures that seem too out of focus to see beyond our struggles and heartaches but it may actually be those pictures that help us find some of our greatest destinations along the way.
YouAreEnough 
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