Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of support I (and Rich) received yesterday. Your texts, (missed) phone calls, prayers, social media posts and private messages did not go unnoticed. It truly meant the world to me and I am beyond grateful (in case you missed it: https://wheredidmommyssmilego.com/2023/01/14/my-friday-the-13th/).
I had hoped that yesterday would’ve been a better day for me but unfortunately it quickly went south and I found myself in an even worse place mentally, emotionally and physically than I’d been on Friday (I didn’t know that could be possible).
I was inconsolable and in a state of psychosis for most of it; I needed to be watched like a hawk. The pain I’ve been feeling in the last while has become so unbearable and just too difficult to share.
I tried shifting my attention yesterday by taking an afternoon walk in the crisp winter’s air, I practiced lots of breathing and grounding exercises and I immersed myself in water for over 2 hours; but no matter what I did, I still couldn’t fight off or quiet down the noise in my head. By now, the stress had also put my body into an unrelenting flare-up which has spilt over into this morning.
I felt so desperate at this point to find any way I possibly could to get out of my head, even if it were for just a few hours so somehow (I honestly don’t know how) I mustered up enough strength to put myself together and go to my dear friend’s “80’s” themed birthday/housewarming celebration.
The 80’s were the most awesome, rocking and totally rad era ever and being able to reminisce about our teenage years during the 80’s while laughing and eating cupcakes and playing 80’s trivia games with old (and new) friends alike really was gnarly and also made me really wish I could go back there right now.
As I mentioned yesterday I have a much needed appointment with my therapist this afternoon but first I will need a couple of hours to get the bottle of hairspray I used to create my 80’s do last night out!!
#thankyou #grateful #youarenotalone #theeighties #selfcare #psychosis #depression #physicalhealth #mentalhealth #friendship #support #celebratethemoments #laughter #cupcakes #memories #totallyrad #youareenough