I Needed a Selfie Reminder Today

I had an appointment yesterday with my wonderful pelvic floor specialist Julie. Midway through our session I started to get very emotional. It had nothing at all to do with the appointment itself but suddenly as I was lying there, feeling helpless and vulnerable, something triggered me. Before I knew it, my emotions quickly turned to anger.

I began to see myself in a series of flashback pictures to the person I once was almost nine years ago. I miss her confidence and the brightness in her eyes. 

As the negative thoughts were swirling around in my head I wondered how my life had come to this moment. How did I end up here? Why has my journey been so bloody long and hard? And why does it feel like it will never end?

Life seemed pretty good before April of 2014. I was happy. Then everything changed in a split second and I was not prepared. 

The truth is though, nothing or nobody could ever have truly prepared me for what was to come and that at least I can say I have tried the best I know how to ever since; in my heart I know that has to be enough. Someone said to me recently, something that I need to keep reminding myself of daily is, that as unprepared as I felt, I have somehow found the strength to survive 100 percent of my worst days so far and that I’m still here after all of it and for that I should be most proud.

If you are reading this and you too have found the strength to survive 100 percent of your worst days so far as well, I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you too for not every moment in life is meant to be savored, some are just meant to be survived!

#selfcare #angerturnedinward #unprepared #selfie #imasurvivor #depression #anxiety #suicideawareness #myjourney #beproud #iamenough #iamnotalone #agentlereminder #pelvicfloorphysio #physio #nervoussystem #pgad #triggers  #mentalhealth

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

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