*May be triggering for some*
I’m a mess today. My life an even bigger mess right now.
I feel like I’ve let everyone around me down after countless years of living with a disease that has left me drowning in guilt and feeling like a burden to everyone I love; my kids, Rich, my friends, family and myself included.
I want so much to feel like I’m a good mom, wife and friend. I want to learn how to love myself again.
I didn’t choose to become sick or all that has followed.
I didn’t choose to become immersed in negative thoughts and emotions that keep me from doing so many of the wonderful things I used to enjoy or should be capable of doing.
I can’t just turn my illness on and off like a switch when I feel like it or when someone else wants me to. I can’t just think positive thoughts and it will all just go away. This lack of understanding only creates unrealistic expectations for those who are desperately trying to help or for someone like myself, desperately trying to overcome a major depressive disorder.
Depression (and anxiety) impact every corner of your life from your work life to your family life to your social life to your married life too.
I’m drowning in guilt today and feel like a burden to everyone I love. I want so much to be a good mom, wife and friend. I want to learn how to love myself again.
I want to stop feeling like I’ve let everybody down. Including myself.
#lettingothersdown #majordepressiondisorder #anxiety #guilt #burden #unrealisticexpectations #iwishtherewasaswitch #depressionisnotachoice #suicidalideations #youarenotalone #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok