Suicide During A Pandemic

*May Be Triggering*

The impact that Covid-19 has had on the world is immeasurable and unprecedented and these uncertain times have left much of the world feeling very helpless and very often hopeless. 

For 6 years now I myself have been living with daily feelings of helplessness and hopelessness but not because of Covid-19 but instead due to Depression and Anxiety and the combination of those feelings is what often leads me to having daily thoughts of Suicide, none of which has changed because of Covid-19. 

To be perfectly honest there are some days lately that those feelings are even more overwhelmingly hard to ignore and I know that I’m not alone in how I’m feeling because whether or not you were suffering with Depression, Anxiety or thoughts of Suicide before Covid-19, many, many more people are suffering with one or more of these symptoms now and many, many many more will continue to suffer well after this is all over and we begin to piece our lives back together. 

There are so many reasons why so many people’s mental health and safety are sure to be impacted from the Coronavirus and so many reasons why there could be a surge in suicidal deaths in the coming months. 

Whether it’s from having to self-isolate alone, or the impact of being quarantined with family that could increase our thoughts of Suicide. Or maybe it could be due to our heightened anxiety from fear of financial struggles or a loss of a job that can lead to Depression or thoughts of Suicide. Or some of us may become super fearful of losing a loved one to Coronavirus or spend our days worrying incessantly about contracting the virus itself. 

For some of us it may be from having a change in our routine, worry that the Pandemic will never end or simply that we have less activity in our life right now and way more time for negative thinking to occur. 

I won’t go into detail about where my thoughts are at the moment and whether it’s just one factor or all of them that are affecting my mental state during the Pandemic, but I will say again and again, I know I am not alone which is why it is imperative that we keep checking up on each other regularly regardless of how strong you think someone is because they may just be the one who is suddenly feeling the most helpless or hopeless of us all.

If you or someone you know is in crisis please call: Kids Help Phone: 1 800 668-6868 or Canada Suicide Prevention: 1 833 456-4566 and as always I am hear to lend an ear.


#suicide #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #pandemic #overwhelm #helpless #hopeless #youareenough #startaconversation #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #checkonyourstrongfriends #checkonyourlovedones 

Make A Wish

What a perfect distraction to have arrive in my mailbox today from my old friend Esther who has truly been such an amazing support for me over the last few years, even though she no longer lives in Toronto. She also knew how much I’ve been admiring all her fun Cricut designs she’s been doing at home lately and so she went out of her way to put a big smile on my face by personalizing these two great tote bags just for me. 

The first tote she replicated the Logo I use for my blog site along with my signature #hashtags #youareenough and #endthestigma as well and then finished it off with the silhouettes from the central part of my Logo which of course signifies my 3 kiddies. 

The second tote displays a valuable and inspiring quote which is so incredibly essential to all of our lives right now and one of my favorites. “Some see a weed, Some see a wish” is about being open to seeing the positive in every unexpected situation. No matter how much we plan for in our lifetime, there will always be times when things don’t always go as planned and it’s times like these when finding the positive can help us to feel hopeful and help us believe that everything will be ok. 

It’s something I know I need to work on in my day to day life and now more than ever so thank you again Esther for this simple and very important reminder and of course for your friendship and kindness. I will proudly use these totes to store all of my arts and craft supplies and projects for now.

P.S I owe you and Anna a French braiding lesson when this is all over! 

@officialcricut #iwantonesobad #crafts #crafty #artprojects #friendship #kindness #bekind #checkonyourlovedones #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #selfcare #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca #makeawish #itsoktonotbeok #endthestigmatogether #flattenthecurve #unitedasone

A Still-life

Paddle docks

As each day passes I’m becoming more and more overwhelmed with sadness thinking of the possibility that our #summerofrich 2020 will be completely swept away by the current “Riptide” of Covid-19 but what saddens me even more is the thought that my kids (well 2 kids, one had to retire due to other commitments but would go back in a second lol) may not be able to spend the summer at their “home away from home”. The photo above is of one of my favorite paintings that Rachel made last fall upon her return home from that same “home away from home”.

Happy birthday in your face
Row row row your boat
Olympic gold medalist

It’s such a magical place to be and it’s also where she has spent close to 10 summers at and where her and her big sister got to work side by side and paddle Moose Lake together all last summer.

Now close your eyes and imagine for just a moment the calm and beauty that Rachel captured in her painting as she painted it. Let’s try and fill today with that same calmness and beauty by sharing pics of some of your favorite memories of cool summer breezes, hot sandy beaches or maybe a warm summer rain (added bonus if they are camp photos!).

Albion Falls #summerofrich 2018
Jesse: 1999 to 2011
Shabbat Shalom

#campnbb #summertime  #campismentalwellness #paddlestaff2020 #homeawayfromhome #mondaymotivation #oilpainting #painting #canvas #family #friendship #memories #bnaibrith  @campnorthland

Canadian at heart
My heart

Help Me, I’m Fine: A Poem


I wish sometimes you could just read my mind, I wish sometimes it was just that simple. 

I wish sometimes you could just see my pain and my sadness and my intrusive thoughts so clearly written all over my face. 

I wish sometimes you could just read the pain and the sadness and the intrusive thoughts written all over your child’s face or your best friend’s face or your neighbor’s face or your coworker’s face but depression often likes to wear a mask.

I have learned to wear a mask, it’s perfectly fitted in a way that allows me to hide my pain when I am able to, it’s perfectly fitted in a way that allows me to hide my sadness for whom I need to and it’s perfectly fitted in a way that allows me to hide my intrusive thoughts from those I want to.

It’s perfectly fitted and yet way more suffocating than my pain, my sadness and my intrusive thoughts combined. 

I wish sometimes I could just throw away my mask forever.

*I know how difficult it is right now for everyone so please don’t hesitate to call Kid’s Helpline 1-800-668-6868 Suicide Prevention Hotline (Canada) 1833-456-4566 for help and please remember that I’m always here to listen to your pain, your sadness and your intrusive thoughts: guilt free and judgment free, masks on and off.*

#depressionlies #depressionkills #intrusivethoughts #suicide #pain #sadness #youareenough #unmask #masksoff #noimreallynotfine #itsoktonotbeok #helpme #imfine #endthestigmaforever #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation #youarenotalone #dontsufferinsilence #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca

Sticking To Routine

Rich is a definite creature of habit and routine is very important to him (he’s definitely not alone in his thinking in our home as I am sure is the case in many homes around the world). Having his routine disrupted has been an unfortunate reality for him several times over the last few years but now more than ever. Keeping a somewhat “normal” routine may be nearly impossible to do right now for many of us. Are you finding it difficult to stick to your routine? What are you doing to try and keep to a somewhat “normal” routine? Do you find it is helping maintain your mental wellness? Would love for you to share some of your thoughts.

#selfcare #routine #habits #mentalhealth #ichooseme #youarenotalone #bekindtoyourself #itsoktonotbeok #checkonyourlovedones #covid19 #coronavirus #flattenthecurve

At A Loss


Over the last few weeks or months, depending on where you live in this great big world you have experienced loss. Loss is an inevitable part of one’s life, but we now find ourselves having to deal with so many different types of loss all at once and as we all know, healing from loss can be the most difficult time in someone’s life. 

We are all grieving from our losses right now and it will take time to heal when many of us begin to move through the grieving process. Many people have lost loved ones during this Pandemic, but loss of a loved one is not the only reason we need to grieve. 
Think about how much you have lost already in such a short time.

We collectively have lost our freedom to leave our homes, many have lost their jobs and financial stability, we have lost the ability to hug our loved ones or go to the park with our kids or meet a friend for coffee at Starbucks and children have lost the right to go to school and learn.

Many of our sudden and very painful losses has left the world in chaos and panic and of course in grief and with grief comes an array of emotions. Fear, sadness, irritability, anger, anxiety, depression, difficulty concentrating, remorse, a lack of security, a lack of motivation, guilt, frustration and an overwhelming numbness just to name a few. 

And just so you know, it’s more than okay to feel these emotions and many others too. It’s also okay to allow yourself to take your time when you begin your healing process and to allow yourself to feel your emotions, allow yourself to ask for help, allow yourself to take care of you and most importantly allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need.

Do not let anyone tell you how to grieve, or judge you for how you choose to grieve or for how long it takes you to heal. We will all go through the stages of grief in our own way and in our own time but no one can tell you when you should “accept” (final stage of the grieving process) your grief except you and only you.

#loss #grief #grieving #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #itsoktonotbeok #ichooseme #yourmentalhealthmatters #covid19 #coronavirus #selfcare #togetherapart #flattenthecurve #unitedasone #twentytwentysucks

Food Glorious Food

Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?

During the last week my girls have been occupying their time by baking lots of delicious treats for us to enjoy and one night this week Rich also spoiled us with a big pot of his yummy chicken soup with Matzah balls as well. Food not only sustains us and nourishes us, but it can also bring great support and comfort to us too. Sometimes food may trigger happy memories or even be able to connect us to our past. Food can also be a perfect opportunity to express our love for each other.

Food may have now become our central focus and possibly the most integral part of our daily lives since social distancing began and I only hope that no matter how many cookies you’ve already lost count of eating by now or how many bowls of chicken soup you’ve enjoyed so far that with each delicious bite or scrumptious spoonful it has given you a sense of security, a feeling of love and provided you some much needed comfort as you move about your day.

What is your favorite comfort food?

#foodandnutrition #newnormal #comfortfood #baking #withlove #chickensoupforthesoul #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalillness #togetherapart  #covid19 #flattenthecurve #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca

From A Distance

Bette Midler is one of my all time favorite performers and song writers. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her perform and if you were to ask Rich what my favorite movie or song is, he would probably say Beaches/Wind Beneath My Wings. But right now her song “From A Distance” is stuck in my head and its lyrics are so meaningful. I have a difficult time listening to music as it makes me quite emotional, but this song is worth every tear right now; after all we are one world now, fighting the same war; “From A Distance”. 

What song inspires you?

https://youtu.be/lN4AcFzxtdE 

#togetherapart #windbeneathmywings #beaches  #fromadistance #wereinthistogether #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #music #divinemissm @BetteMidler

From a distance the world looks blue and green
And the snow capped mountains white
From a distance the ocean meets the stream
And the eagle takes to flightFrom a distance there is harmony
And it echoes through the land
It’s the voice of hope
It’s the voice of peace
It’s the voice of every manFrom a distance we all have enough
And no one is in need
And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease
No hungry mouths to feedFrom a distance we are instruments
Marching in a common band
Playing songs of hope
Playing songs of peace
They are the songs of every manFrom a distance you look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
What all this fightings for
From a distance there is harmony
And it echoes through the land
And it’s the hope of hopes
It’s the love of loves
It’s the heart of every man
God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us from a distance

Me Time

Many (and I emphasize the word “many”) of us are struggling with our mental health more than ever before right now which is why we need to remind ourselves to make sure that each day includes “Me Time”.  Is it selfish? No F#*king way. Is it essential and non-negotiable? You better f#*king believe it is.  We all need to hit the pause button more than ever. There are 24 hours in a day (don’t know how we would fill any more than that right now), so tell me which hour of the day do you prefer to spend your “Me Time”? And more importantly what are some of the ways you like to spend it?

#selfcare #ichooseme #loveyourself #mentalillness  #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #depression #anxiety #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #togetherapart #selfcareisselfless #metime #selfdiscovery

Creating A Vision

Creating a Vision Board is something I’ve wanted to do and more importantly it’s something I’ve needed to do for quite some time now as part of my healing but it’s definitely not just a great activity for healing your mind. 

Visualization is probably one of the most powerful things though that you can do to exercise your mind and now more than ever it seems like the perfect time for a creative and welcomed distraction. Now seems like the perfect time and best way to bring some clarity into our lives during these uncertain times. Now seems like the perfect time to focus our attention on something positive and purposeful.

What seemed important to us just weeks ago (shit at this point it’s more like days or hours ago), what we thought we needed in our life just weeks ago, what we envisioned for ourselves just weeks ago, what we hoped and dreamed for our future just weeks ago, what we thought was a priority in our life just weeks ago may all of the sudden have so much less value and may not even matter anymore all together when we can finally begin to heal from this tragedy.

Vision Boards can include images, words or phrases that affirm our intentions and help us stay focused on our goals. I decided it was finally the right time for me to create my Vision Board yesterday as my anxiety was causing me severe heart palpitations, numbness and uncontrollable shaking and a much needed creative distraction was in order. 

Through my Vision Board I know that I need to continue to write, to continue to blog, to continue to share my journey, to continue to help others by sharing my children’s book, to continue to advocate for change, to continue to show empathy, to continue to listen to others who need to be heard, to continue starting important conversations and to continue to find a way to heal.

Creating a Vision Board doesn’t have to be an activity you do alone and you don’t need to be creative; you can even do them online with an App called Canva. But no matter how you choose to create your Vision Board, it’s a relaxing way to help nurture your mind and even a fun activity to try with the whole family, maybe even try doing a Zoom Vision Board Party with friends!

If you have ever created a Vision Board before I’d love to see them in the comments or come back here when you’re all done.

#vision #visionboard #showmeyourvisions #youareenough #selfcare #goals #dreams #priorities #ichooseme #youarenotalone #endthestigmatogether #flattenthecurve #togetherapart #socialdistancing #quarantine #create #covid19 #coronavirus #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #advocate #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca #zoom