Tag: best self

Therapy: All The Cool Kids Are Doing It!!!

Today I’m having a particularly hard day. I can’t say that there’s been one thing in particular that has made the start of the new week so hard for me but often when someone is suffering with Depression and Anxiety there doesn’t have to be a good reason, it just is. I probably experienced every negative emotion known to mankind before noon-time today and cried at least three times before then as well.  

I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it past noon today with so many overwhelmingly negative and unwanted thoughts going on inside my head causing me a great amount of fear, guilt, anger and sadness to erupt all at once so I sure as hell was grateful that I had an appointment already scheduled to see my therapist this afternoon.

Over the course of my illness there has been one constant in my journey and that is therapy.  It has not always been good therapy and some of it has left me shaking my head in shock and anger and some has just been downright awful but through a lot of trial and error I finally found the perfect balance for me a couple of years ago and my lifesaver. I’m not ashamed to tell people I go to therapy (well that’s probably quite obvious by now seeing as I divulge every intimate thought and feeling to you!) and it makes me feel sad when some people are reluctant to see a Therapist or make excuses as to why they can’t see one because whether it’s going to see a Therapist, a Counsellor, a Life Coach, a Social Worker, a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist when you are feeling overwhelmed or sad should be just as normal as going to see your Doctor when you have the flu!

I know that therapy can be very expensive if not covered by OHIP (in Canada) or an insurance plan (if you even have one) and we all know that there can be long wait lists for OHIP covered Therapists and Doctors however there are still plenty of places to start if you need help right away including Distress and Crisis Helplines and Hospital ER’s. I have found myself in many Emergency Rooms, too many times now that I’ve stopped counting, but during several of those visits I have been given access to free community-based group and individual programs and sometimes I was also placed in one on one care with a Counsellor who work with outpatients.  

It’s not always easy to talk to a loved one or confidant about what you are feeling and very often when a situation is bigger than you then you may need an outsider to listen to you who can advise you from a non-judgmental place and with an unbiased perspective. A therapist et al can help to validate your experience and not make you and your problems feel unworthy while being in a safe place to process your thoughts. They will give you different tools for working through difficult situations, allowing room for your personal growth, teach you coping skills, give you insight and model for you what healthy boundaries and healthy relationships should be and sometimes just being able to say things out loud can help you understand your thoughts and feelings in a whole new way.

Until 5 years and 10 months ago I had never been to a Therapist; I never felt that I needed to but now I look at therapy or life-coaching from a totally different lens and I truly believe that at some point or another in every person’s life that seeking the guidance of a professional for a little extra emotional support could really help keep us balanced. We all go through ups and downs in our lifetime and we could all use some tweaking from time to time and there ain’t no shame in that! Oh and by the way, no matter how hard today has been for me I did not smoke!! 

If you or someone you know needs immediate help start here or go to your closest emergency room:

Toronto Distress Centres- 416-408-HELP(4357)

Gerstein Centre- 416-929-5200

Kids Help Phone- 1-800-668-6868

Please continue to follow my journey at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com

#Smokefree #twentydays #hardday #helpline #distresscentres #therapy #therapyiscool #itsoktonotbeok #itsoktoaskforhelp #startaconversation #youareenough #noshame #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #mentalillness #selfcare #mentalwellness #masksoff #depression #anxiety #dontsufferinsilence

So Long January

January is behind me now and all I can say about that is good riddance to you and don’t let the cold air hit you in the face on the way out.  I had big intentions for January which included great forethought and planning after purposely taking some much needed downtime for myself for much of December. Yes January, you really let me down big time but you also taught me a thing or two about myself as well. 

I spent the month resting and for the better part of it I needed to do so in order to recuperate from my concussion but at the same time I got quite comfortable doing so, possibly too comfortable. As someone who battles with depression everyday, it’s not ideal to want to be in bed all day and night, even if you may need to.  I have to say though that one thing that helped me survive the month of January was believe it or not, Social Media.

I’m not afraid to admit it but I love Facebook and I’m not gonna apologize for it either, nor do I have any intentions to use it less, in fact I need to use it even more… intentionally.  Facebook and other forms of Social Media have become a place for me to express myself, engage in meaningful conversations, inspire and be inspired, motivate and be motivated and a place where I have created many genuine and intentional friendships as well.  

Social Media has allowed me to speak my truth, help others speak their truth and when I need a little extra emotional support I know that my online community is always there for me. Trust me I have lots of emotional support from my “real” friends and family too but just knowing how many people I have cheering me on from the sidelines is a true blessing.

Since starting my blog and publishing my book I’ve needed Social Media more than ever and I have learned how to navigate it with the greatest intent of continuing to keep building a bigger and better platform to ensure my message is heard and heard loudly. I’m having a hard time getting back on track and just so overwhelmed right now but hopefully February has much better intentions for me!  At least there is one thing I know for sure that February has in store, only 47 more days until Spring!

#bekindtoyourself #startaconversation #socialmedia #facebook #twitter #instagram #blogger #childrensauthor #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #goodriddancejanuary #intent #intention #buildingaplatform #mentalillness #selfcare #mentalwellness

Bell Let’s Talk Day

Today is #BellLetsTalkDay. I can’t believe it’s already in its 10th year. Bell’s main initiative each year is to raise awareness and combat the stigma surrounding mental illness. During #BellLetsTalkDay, Bell Media donates 5¢ (in Canada) for every text, call, tweet, social media video view and use of their Facebook frame or Snapchat filter.

Their campaign initiative this year is “when it comes to mental health every action counts” so please take a few minutes today and do your part to help raise awareness to end the stigma, be present for someone who needs it, start an important conversation, check on a loved one, be kind to yourself and don’t forget to text, call, tweet #BellLetsTalk, watch their social media video and view and use their Facebook frame or Snapchat filter. 

**Over the last several years there has been a lot of controversy surrounding #BellLetsTalkDay as many people feel that it’s just an excuse for a big money hungry Corporation to use their initiative as nothing more than one giant advertising campaign. Well I say kudos to them for stepping up (it’s not like our Government is helping matters) because I’m more than happy to support a Corporation that is doing their part to raise awareness, educate others, start important conversations and create positive change all the while donating millions of dollars to research, development and organizations in need of funds to help support mental health. Start the conversation today and help make it a better tomorrow!https://letstalk.bell.ca/en/results-impact/#funds
#BellLetsTalk #endthestigmatogether #youareenough #choosekindness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #mentalillness #mentalhealth #everyactioncounts #wheredidmommyssmilego #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence 
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Comfort Zone

I thought I’d share a blog I wrote 1 year ago today on the 7th Anniversary since Jacob and Hannah’s B’nai Mitzvah. Now 8 years later it is still one of the greatest days of my life. Today is also the 3rd Anniversary since I began sharing my story with all of you, the day I decided to reach outside my comfort zone in order to help others to understand the many faces of depression and anxiety and to help end the stigma together. Since that day 3 years ago, sharing my journey has allowed me to stop my fear of judgment in its tracks and squash many of the misconceptions surrounding mental illness as well. I have also learned so much about myself and have grown in ways I never thought possible.

https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2019/01/28/misty-water-coloured-memories

Are you in the zone?

#comfortzone #itsoktonotbeok  #youarenotalone #youareenough #anniversaries #blogger #anxiety #mentalillness #selfcare #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #depression #family #memories #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence

Let It Go

Yesterday was a good reminder for all of us just how fragile life truly is and that we should never take it for granted. Yesterday was also a reminder that no-one on this earth is invincible and that tomorrow is never promised. Today as the world mourns the loss of Kobe Bryant, his beautiful daughter Gianna and their seven friends that perished alongside them we must remember that Kobe was so much more than a basketball hero; he was a son, a husband, a father, a humanitarian and a legend.  One of his many mantras that he lived life by was “live today to inspire tomorrow” and boy did he ever live up to this in so many ways for so many people.

When I heard the news of Kobe’s passing through a text message from our son I was at, of all places, a Shiva for a friend’s father who had recently passed away at the ripe ‘ole age of 93.  For those of you who may not know what a Shiva is, it is a week-long mourning period in the Jewish faith which begins immediately following the burial. A Shiva allows for a parent, a sibling, a spouse and/or a child of the deceased to accept visitors during this period of mourning to give their condolences and to provide comfort to the mourners.

As the news began to spread feverishly around the world many people looked to find their own ways to comfort one another and find meaning from this tragic loss of life. And in that very moment, as I was surrounded by a room full of mourners I found comfort and meaning in one of Kobe’s many life messages as I suddenly found myself face to face with a grievance from my past by someone who had wronged me many years ago and who just so happened to be standing two feet in front of me!  In that moment I needed to make peace in my heart because after all, tomorrow may never come. I’ve held a lot of anger and resentment toward this individual for all these years but suddenly it felt so insignificant and unworthy.

Throughout the better part of my illness I have spent a lot of time examining and re-examining past relationships including this one and I know that in order for me to move forward I need to learn how to let go of the pieces of my past that affect my wellbeing the most because life is too short and so yesterday I took another step toward finding peace in my heart after our brief but purposeful encounter!  
#itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #kindness #lifestooshort #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #purpose #letitgo
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Holding Myself Accountable

So I’ve made it 12 days now without smoking a cigarette. The first week was pretty easy compared to the days that have followed. I thought it was supposed to get easier over time but clearly I was wrong. Maybe it’s because during that first week I was much less mobile still due to my concussion and once I started to feel better I began to miss it more?

That first day I quit smoking it wasn’t a rash decision, it was something I had been thinking about for quite awhile, well probably for years but that day I finally felt ready. I hadn’t discussed my decision with anyone, not even Rich because I didn’t want to disappoint him if I didn’t follow through with it but once I smoked that last cigarette in my pack and did not attempt to purchase a new pack I felt like the only way I was going to make it through day one was by holding myself accountable. 

Holding yourself accountable for something is more than just taking responsibility for your actions but in the long run it’s more about being able to answer to those actions. That is why I didn’t just send Rich a quick text message that morning while he was at work letting him know the good news, I also took to Facebook, WordPress, Instagram and Twitter to let everyone else know too! 

If I didn’t tell anyone my plan to quit smoking that day then I’d have had no accountability for my actions, I’d have had no one to disappoint if I didn’t follow through with my actions and I’d have had no real incentive for my actions. By telling you my plan to quit smoking that day has helped make the process and my progress much more meaningful knowing just how invested so many of you are in helping me achieve my goals successfully. I’m glad I have so many of you in my life to help motivate me and always keep me accountable. 
#accountability #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youarenotalone #selfcare #ichooseme #concussion #quitsmoking #daytwelve






Puzzle Time

Now that my concussion symptoms have subsided what better way to work on improving some of my cognitive skills that have been severely lacking over the last few weeks than with a brand new puzzle!

#itsbeenawhile #ilovepuzzles #cognitiveskills #itsoktonotbeok #ichooseme #youarenotalone #youareenough #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #fifteenhundredpieces #ravensburger

Across The Pond

Sold my first book across “The Pond” today! We may be complete strangers and seem worlds apart from one another but we have a bond that is bigger and stronger than any Mountain or Sea that separates us. Mental illness affects us all! Mental illness does not discriminate! 

#feelinggrateful #startaconversation #talktoyourkids  #dontsufferinsilence #itsoktonotbeok #masksoff #youarenotalone #youareenough #wheredidmommyssmilego #childrensbook #author #depression #family #children #uk #scotland #amazondotca

Memory

Every year on January 19 since I first posted this photo in 2015, along with a short message, it pops up as a memory on my Facebook wall. The first couple of years it would pop up I found it to be somewhat emotional for me to even look at and have to revisit the memory of a time I’d sooner forget, but now I know that this memory signifies much more than just about the first time I was discharged from a hospital stay where I had just spent over 3 months in psychiatric care. I know now that it is a piece of my journey and a special reminder of what living with a mental illness has taught me about life since then.

This photo reminds me that I need to keep living with my mental illness with authenticity because being honest with your loved ones or not worrying about feeling judged by others will help diminish your pain knowing just how many people are truly in your corner.

This photo reminds me what the meaning of real friendship is. Knowing there is always someone there for you ready to make you laugh or ready to wipe away your tears, without judgment.

This photo also reminds me that it’s okay to not be okay and that reaching out for help is more than okay when you need to. And that asking for help shows so much strength and courage. 

This photo reminds me of the importance of kindness and how a kind action or a kind word can and will change the course of someone else’s day and a kind action or a kind word can and will impact the course of someone’s life as well.

#kindness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #strength #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #speakyourtruth #friendship #family #memories #depression  #anxiety #mentalhealth 

Am I A Cold Turkey?

Today is day four since I smoked my last cigarette and I know I am a long way off from calling myself an ex-smoker however I am already feeling many of its healthy benefits. The bronchial-like cough that has been pestering me every morning for years just disappeared without a trace and the nighttime whistling in my throat and wheezing in my lungs just vanished into thin air as well (smoking is just sooooo glamorous)!

Although the health benefits should make it all worthwhile I’m not gonna lie to you because this has been an exceptionally difficult four days for me mentally. There are many moments throughout the day that I crave a cigarette, there’s also the craziness of trying to navigate my day through my trigger points and lets not forget the physical side effects that can occur when a person quits any addiction cold turkey. 

I felt like I was ready to quit smoking as I mentioned in my previous blog (Wish Me Luck Because I Quit; January 14, 2020) but I’m still not sure that quitting cold turkey is ever the smartest way to tackle it. It’s something I should know better than to do since I am very familiar with the side effects of trying to go off any type of drug including antidepressants, nicotine, opiates or alcohol that your body has become both mentally and physically dependent upon. 

Quitting any of the above substances cold turkey can actually be very dangerous and although nicotine is probably one of the safest ones to stop abruptly I’m afraid that my already vulnerable state of mind will only lead to failure.  

I’m not regretting my decision to quit smoking but I am certainly regretting my decision to do so like a cold turkey being what my mental state is like to begin with. But I know that there will never be the perfect way to quit smoking or that there may never be the perfect day or the perfect month or even the perfect year to find the courage to quit either. And maybe I’ve just come to terms with my reality that I may never find the light at the end of the tunnel that I’ve so desperately been searching for that has made me hold onto that desire to keep smoking until now.

But perhaps I may have discovered something else over the last few days, possibly more powerful than any of the above revelations and that maybe my fainting episode/concussion happened for a reason, one that is outside the realm of science. I can see now that it was my mind’s way of telling my body that I still wasn’t quite ready for the new year to begin and that I still needed a few more steps back in order to help me move forward and that both my body and my mind were in desperate need of a damn good rest in order to clear the air from all the smoke that’s been standing in my way.

#coldturkey #iquit #selfcare #smokefree #cravings #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness