Category: goals

Learning To Survive – Empowering Children

LEARNING TO SURVIVE – EMPOWERING CHILDREN

Today was very overwhelming and undeniably emotional for me but today was above all, empowering. Listening to a panel of experts speak along with several young adults from the community share their stories about resilience and their mental health journeys felt empowering. Seeing an audience of several hundred people come together for one common purpose and with one common goal in mind was truly empowering.

Today I met some fucking incredible people and I learned many valuable tools and many more staggering statistics. I also learned that life is not all about winning, but more importantly it’s about learning to survive that matters. The symposium focused on how we as a society can help to empower our children and youth today as these statistics continue to rise and what we can do to help make this happen both at home and in the classroom.

There is a lot of debate about how early is too early to talk about mental health at home or in school and I could see today that everyone in attendance was in agreeance that we need to start talking about it from as early on as Pre-K. I certainly can’t argue with that and I have even written a children’s book now to prove it.

It’s not that anyone is asking teachers of young children to stand up in front of their class and start giving a powerpoint lecture on the psychology of the human brain, instead it’s about introducing ways for them to understand that they have mental health. It’s about teaching children the “culture of caring” by checking in on students regularly to ensure that they are okay, giving a friendly hello or high five as they pass them in the hall at lunchtime, it’s about finding a connection between each student and their teacher and it’s about making them feel safe so they can share their thoughts and feelings.

Starting to engage children more in mental health and wellness practices at a young age in school can be easily done through art, through music, through sport, through drama and through physical fitness as well. It may mean putting aside a geometry lesson for today in order to practice some mindfulness exercises or spending a bit more time on an art project which could give them better coping strategies, allow them to express their feelings better or help them to build better communication skills.

These activities and lessons should be front and centre in our school curriculums today and to be just as much of a priority as math and english are and I don’t just mean in Pre-K, but all throughout their formative years. Teachers are not meant to be therapists but by practicing many of these skill sets with their students will make them a better role model to their students and help more children thrive, help more children to erase the stigma for the next generation, help more students to become better equipped to understand that it’s ok to fail; in fact it’s imperative that they do so many, many times and hopefully this will help more of our youth and young adults left feeling more empowered than ever before.

It’s Thanksgiving Today And “I Get To”

Thanksgiving isn’t really a holiday that we celebrate in our home (although my kids have been dying to make pumpkin pie; I’m just not quite sure who’d actually eat it though!) but the significance of the holiday is certainly not lost on any of us.
I am grateful, I am blessed and I am thankful for having each one of these Goons (insert loving tone here 💕) in my life and I know that no matter what challenges we may face, obstacles we must overcome or hoops we will jump through, we “GET TO” do it together.
Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks to those who mean the most to us and to express our gratitude in general. It’s a time for feeling blessed and remembering that we should celebrate each victory, big or small and embrace every challenge in our life because we can and because we “GET TO”.
But for me, suffering with chronic depression and anxiety these are gigantic tasks. My perception is often not my reality but still I keep trying to challenge the very cruel and daunting voice in my head by changing the conversation each day from “I have to wake up again today” to “I get to wake up again today”. I’m not gonna lie though because many days the challenge feels endless and much of the time too burdensome to even want to keep trying.
When having the mindset that “I have to” do something it’s implying that it is a real burden as opposed to telling ourselves “I Get To” which is truly a blessing. I know just how important these 3 little words are to my recovery because as we all know it’s not what I “have to do” in my life that matters, it’s who “I GET TO” do my life with that does.
Maybe today we “get to” go to the grocery store (we are blessed to have food to eat), or maybe we “get to” pay some bills today (we are blessed to have a home that keeps us safe and warm) or maybe we “get to” take our toddler to the doctor today (because we are so blessed to be someone’s mom/dad).
So whether or not you are celebrating Thanksgiving today, lets all make a pact together and change our perspective to “I Get To” instead of “I Have To” and help each other look at life through the eyes of opportunity, gratitude and blessings because every day should feel like it’s Thanksgiving.
What do you “get to” do today?
#thanksgiving #getto #blessed #grateful #thankful #myreasonswhy

Crafting

Crafting or working on creative projects is an escape for me and always has been and lucky for me it also has many health benefits for your mental wellness too. Crafting is a great way for me to relieve stress by taking a break from my chronic anxiety and depression. Crafting can build self-esteem and self-confidence when you feel a sense of accomplishment or success from your achievement.
For me, part of the crafting or creating of a project itself is the excitement of planning and executing it. It’s not just about the finished product but also about the journey of getting there as well. It’s about challenging myself, learning new skills and once completed maybe even having a new knick-knack to display!
I created this piece to remind myself everyday and for anyone else who walks into my home that “you are enough”. That you were enough before you walked through my door, that you are enough now and that you will continue to be enough after. And even though I am forever believing otherwise I now have something to remind me that I am worthy, I am valued, I am accepted, I am true, I am loved and I am purposeful because I am me and that also means that you are you. #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalhealthawarenessweek #itsoktonotbeok #ichooseme #youarenotalone #bekindtoyourself #crafting #create

Can You Tell Me How To Get to Sesame Street?

Who doesn’t love Sesame Street? I mean it doesn’t get much better than Elmo, Oscar The Grouch and Big Bird now does it? Nor would they be celebrating 50 magical years on air next month if it wasn’t one of the most beloved neighborhoods for kids of all ages!
Throughout the last 50 years Sesame Street has embraced a myriad of groundbreaking storylines on their show with open arms. Each and every year they continue to tackle topics that reflect their diverse audience with only one goal in mind; education and inclusion.
These topics have ranged from racism, adoption, autism, down syndrome, divorce, being in a wheelchair, 9/11, death, a family member being incarcerated; the list is truly endless and for each topic they tackle, millions of children and their families are sitting in their living rooms, watching and feeling less alone in their own relatable struggle.
And now this week Sesame Street has done it once again by adding to their list of inclusive storylines when they recently introduced a new character by the name of Karli who begins to open up to her friends in the neighborhood about her mom’s addiction and mental health crisis. She tells her friends that her mom had to go away for treatment and that she is now in recovery and that a big part of her recovery is attending meetings every single day with people who have the same problem as her in order to help her stay healthy while being surrounded by people who understand what she is going through and learning how to take better care of herself.
The message Karli receives from her mom and her friends is one of hope and healing and it really resonated with me, bringing tears to my eyes (not that it takes much to make me cry). The message Karli receives is the same message that “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” aims to teach children which is that Mommy’s disease is not their fault, that they are not alone and that they are safe and loved.
It is also relating another very important message to their audience which is that it is never too early to start having these conversations with children because the more we open up and have honest conversations the sooner our children will understand that they are not at fault, that they are not alone and most of all that they are safe and loved. And lets not forget that the more education and inclusion we project upon young children today, the sooner we help to end the stigma around mental illness for future generations to come!
Watching Karli made me want to reach out and hug her so tight and then curl up next to her while reading “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” together. Just one quick question though before I go; “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?”
#youareenough #youarenotalone #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #addictions #opioidcrisis #epidemic #compassion #friendship #itsoktonotbeok #acceptance #startaconversation #courage #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazonca #sesamestreet #inclusion #educationiskey #childrenareourfuture #endthestigmatogether #kidsarepeopletoo #speakyourtruth #honesty #elmo #happyanniversary #cheerstofiftymore #mentalhealthawarenessweek

Self-Forgiveness

Today is Yom Kippur; which is considered the holiest holiday in the Jewish faith and according to the tradition we are encouraged on Yom Kippur to “make amends” and ask for forgiveness from any wrongdoing we may have done throughout the past year to others. Forgiving others can be very hard for many but what about learning to forgive ourselves? That is probably one of the most difficult things to do; but also one of the most courageous. I struggle with self-forgiveness every day but I know that in order to begin healing, it is also one of the bravest things to do.

#mentalhealthawarenessweek #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #selfcare #ichooseme #selfforgiveness #youarenotalone #bekindtoyourself #youareenough #youmatter #introspection #selflove #itsoktonotbeok #yomkippur

About Last Night

I’ve done quite a few events and interviews over the last month or so since my book was published but last night was by far the most meaningful one yet. As I mentioned last week I was asked to be a panelist at an event called Community Conversations at the Richmond Hill Public Library where I was to speak about Mental Illness and Stigma. In preparation for the event I was sent a series of 4 questions beforehand on the topic of Stigma in which I would be asked to discuss in front of the group along with a short bio about my journey and then followed up with a Q & A from the audience at the very end.
One by one each panelist discussed their views on (1) the harmful effects of the Stigma surrounding mental illness, (2) the most commonly held stereotypes about mentally ill people, (3) our strategies on how we as a society can help diminish the Stigma and (4) our thoughts on the important and urgent need for more access and funding to better educate the public about mental illness in order to increase understanding and empathy.
I was BEYOND anxious and overwhelmed all day yesterday and especially as I sat in my big, comfy chair waiting for the event to begin. I sat there looking around the room as the other panelists and guests arrived one by one and the anxiety and overwhelm just kept building. By now my head was filled with so much negative self-talk I thought it was going to explode! I wanted to run for the nearest exit screaming and crying (but I was in a library afterall and didn’t want to distract the 100’s of kids trying to study!) And no amount of breathing or grounding exercises seemed to be slowing down what was going on inside my body and mind either, but then the Moderator started to introduce the panel 1 by 1 and when I started to tell my story to a room full of strangers all my anxiety and overwhelm seemed to dissipate.
Suddenly I felt a sense of belonging and that by sharing my story and speaking from my heart on a topic I have so much passion and understanding for and knowing that I could possibly help someone feel less alone, feel like it’s ok to not be ok or feel a sense of comfort from within their own community made all the anxiety and overwhelm all worthwhile.
Everyone in attendance last night had their own reason for being there. Some may have been mental health educators or professionals, some may have been mental health advocates, some may have been in need of some guidance for their own mental wellness and some may have been there to seek advice on behalf of a loved one in need of support.
But whatever their reason was for being there, they all have a story to tell, we all have a story to tell and we definitely need more evenings like last night so that more and more people can have a safe place to feel like they can start telling their story and know that someone is listening. I know I want to hear it; how about you?
#mentalhealthawarenessweek #mentalillness #mentalhealth #stigma #endthestigmatogether #youareenough #choosekindness #itsoktonotbeok #startaconversation #educationiskey #dontsufferinsilence #speakyourtruth #courage #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazon #rhpl

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week. It was first established in 1990 and takes place each year during the first full week of October (Oct 6 to 12, 2019) to help educate and increase awareness about mental illness by focusing on community outreach and public education.

As most of you know, I have made it my mission over the last few years to help spread as much awareness as I can and to help educate as many individuals in my community (and beyond) as I can which would not be at all possible without the incredible love and support that surrounds me each and every day. It’s days like today that really help remind me that I am not alone and it’s days like today that really help remind me that no matter what, it’s okay not to be okay when you have the right people in your corner.

Today we, as a family spent the afternoon together, outside in the crisp fall air (a very rare occasion these days) but the cherry on top was also spending it with some good friends; friends who have become like family. Friends who we met by chance 17 years ago (this week!) when both our youngest babies were just days old and friends who have been in that

corner ever since.

corner ever since.

Friendships like this are hard to find; you know the ones that I’m talking about, the ones that you can call on at any time of day (or night) when you need to, the ones that are there for you when you’re feeling down or when you just need a good laugh. Friendships of this magnitude can enrich our lives and well-being but what happens when one part of that friendship is struggling with depression?

Depression can make even the strongest of friendships quite challenging, trust me, I know. I know this because I am that friend with depression and I know that not everyone is up for the challenge. I get how hard it must be sometimes to listen to someone always talking so negatively about herself (himself) or to know just what to say to them or how to even help, but just knowing someone is in your corner means that you always have someone there who brings you comfort, who encourages you, who allows you to share with them openly and honestly, who forgives you and who supports you through both the good days and bad.

Take a moment to pause here and ask yourself; who’s in your corner? I hope when you release that pause you see that your corner is overflowing just like mine is!

#friends #family #memories #support #itsoktonotbeok #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawarness #mycorner #mentalwellness #applepicking #fall #wheredidmommyssmilego

Dip An Apple In Some Honey

For many people of the Jewish faith, tonight is the beginning of Rosh Hashanah, the start of a new year which also marks the high holy days ending with Yom Kippur ten days later. During these ten holy days Jewish people are meant to focus their attention on introspection and attonement. It is also the time of year where we should look to the future and be grateful to be given the opportunity for a new beginning while at the same time be able to ask for forgiveness for our sins from the past year.
For someone like myself who is battling a mental illness, these concepts are both a daily struggle and a large part of our recovery.
This time of year can often be very triggering but also very comforting for many. It may be an opportunity for some individuals, who like me, are suffering with a mental illness, to start important and necessary conversations around the dinner table or within their congregations. It may be the time of year that you find solace in speaking your truth. It may be the time of year that you feel safe in the hands of your loved ones or through prayer. It may be the time of year that your pain allows you to find the courage or help that you need and it may be the time of year that you start to feel like you are not alone in your journey.
So tonight or tomorrow or next week when you enter a place of worship or a loved one’s home or wherever these high holy days find you, try and look around the room at your surroundings and the people around you and give them strength, be present for them, offer a warm smile, a sincere handshake, a strong hug to help walk them through their darkness.
And although you may not truly understand what another person is feeling or going through, just knowing that someone cares or is willing to hold your hand and show compassion towards you may give them the strength and courage or allow them to focus their attention on introspection and atonement within themselves knowing they are not walking it alone.
L’Shanah Tova to everyone which simply means “to a good year” and remember to dip an apple in some honey for some extra sweetness.

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

I use the word “overwhelmed” a lot to explain how I am feeling, but it kinda describes how I feel most often, most days. And lately it’s no wonder I’m so overwhelmed, I’ve been on the biggest roller coaster ride of my life over the last few weeks and albeit there have been many ups, there have also been many loops and many, many downs.

It’s fair to say that I’ve had a lot on my plate lately and have taken on way more than I can chew, and most of what you are seeing is only a small portion of it through my many posts and pictures on my social media pages. But my ability to cope with life is starting to take a real downward plunge, just like that feeling you get when you are on that roller coaster ride, slowly making your way uphill and then suddenly you plummet downward at the highest speeds imaginable leaving your stomach at the top.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am beyond grateful for the feeling that I get when I’m riding that roller coaster uphill; the slower the better, that way I can take in way more of the sites below, but it’s those many loops and sudden plunges downhill that makes it so difficult to enjoy the ride that I find myself screaming and begging for it to all just come to an end.

The more any of us take on or have to tend to in our lives, the more overwhelmed we may feel, then add on for me, those persistent and incessant racing thoughts, those feelings of worthlessness, that fear of failure and lets not forget that Goddamn guilt. When I mix it all together I begin to shut down both mentally and physically.

Well yesterday that roller coaster ride hesitantly made it up the hill and then suddenly and without warning broke down completely causing my entire immune system to shut down too. I found myself in a hospital emergency room in the late afternoon with a rash which has now physically covered my whole body and a mental breakdown which led to a severe panic attack and hysteria.

It was in that moment that I realized (ok it was more like once I was given something to calm me down) and then Rich helped me realize that although many things I am dealing with right now are not within my control I need to refocus my whole heart on what I do have control over instead. I have a very difficult time concentrating on one task at a time, or tackling one issue at a time but it is not serving me well to try and bite off more than I can chew right now.

So for now my first priority is to start back at the very beginning and break everything down into their simplest forms in order to begin to dissect each task or issue into more manageable blocks. I also know that it’s more than ok to ask for help when you need it because often that is all any of us need in order to get off the roller coaster ride before it plummets downward at unimaginable speeds.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

My Boy

He will probably kill me for posting this but what the hell, I’ve earned it; afterall I carried him for 9 mths and spent the first half of my pregnancy vomiting 10x a day and the latter half on bed rest with high blood pressure! Jacob sent me this message yesterday while in Germany for Oktoberfest and when I read the words that he wrote I became overwhelmed with emotion. Just reading his message and hearing him tell me how proud he was of me made my heart smile (and drunk or not, I’ll take it!). Knowing that I have made him proud reassures me that my kids understand that life is not always perfect, that failure is inevitable and that it’s all part of their journey. It made me see that even though there will be many challenges along the way, they can still face them with gratitude and keep going, that it’s okay to let others see their imperfections, and most of all that showing kindness or giving a compliment will go a very long way!