Category: Fears

“Me” Day

Yesterday I went to a one hour aqua fit class in the morning followed by a 2.5 hour walk later on and finished my day off with a warm and very soothing bubble bath. 

My brain is always working in overdrive and I am easily overwhelmed by the simplest of tasks while desperately trying to get through my never-ending “to-do-list”. Even thinking about all the things I need to get done or would like to achieve and then don’t, completely depletes my already less than empty “mental gas tank”.

Mental fatigue is real and the more that things seem to escalate in my life right now, the less able I am to take a pause from reality which then causes me to become totally incapable of much. The overwhelm takes my mind to a whole other place and I become paralyzed with fear and emotionally drained.

Being mentally exhausted often goes hand in hand with extreme and ongoing levels of stress in one’s life which I find I am so easily distracted by and extremely anxious about and very quickly will turn into procrastination. 

Procrastination comes from a Latin term which translates to “for tomorrow” and very often I find myself taking my “to-do-list” and moving it over to tomorrow in my calendar. Yesterday was no exception, but is taking a “Me” day really considered procrastination? 

What is one thing you find you procrastinate most about?

#swim #sweat #solitude #selfcare #aquafit #exercise #bubblebath #brainfog #mentalfatigue #mentalexhaustion #mindfulness #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #youareenough

School: To Be Or Not To Be?

You’ve probably heard the saying before “You can’t please all the people all the time.” It’s nearly impossible for anyone to be able to please everyone at the same time because we are all unique individuals with our own unique set of expectations, experiences and perceptions and that’s perfectly okay. 

This fall will be the first time in almost 20 years that I won’t have a child in my home entering a new school year in the Pre to K, Primary or Secondary School system. Both of my daughters fate were determined for them several months ago as the Post Secondary Educational systems all made the decision early on to begin the upcoming school year mostly online, but right now many other anxious Parents, Teachers, Administrators, Support Staff and children are eagerly awaiting their own fate as to whether or not schools will reopen, will continue online or will do a combination of both.

As a parent I am quite torn with the decision that was predetermined for my girls months ago and especially for my youngest daughter who has already lost so much in her graduating year from High School to now not be able to experience the excitement and comradary that comes along with this next milestone in her life. 

Sadly there is no right or wrong, risk-free decision as to whether or not or even how our kids can safely return to the classroom this fall or if they should continue their studies online, nor am I here to debate it either way but I know that when the decision is finally announced there will be plenty of Parents, Teachers, Administrators, Support Staff and children cheering in support of the decision and many more yelling with rage.

Whatever decision is made (there will be no clear winner or loser), just remember that everyone has a right to their own opinion and even if that opinion differs from yours that no one has the right to judge you for that. We’re all in this together but as I said before we will never be able to please everyone all of the time.

Therefore it is more important than ever, no matter what the outcome is, that we focus our attention on keeping our children (and family’s) mental health and wellness in check above all else right now which may very likely look a whole lot different for each of us as our expectations, our experiences and our perceptions are all unique to us, and guess what; that’s perfectly okay.

#cantpleaseeveryone #ouryouthmatter #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalillness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #bekind #kindnessmatters #schoolkids #distancelearning #backtoschool #wearamask

Challenge Accepted

This is quite a difficult challenge for me as I hate posting pictures of myself, but I truly love the beautiful meaning behind this initiative and seeing so many outstanding women supporting and inspiring each other and so here I am! 

I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by an exceptional tribe of magnificent and awe-inspiring women.

Thank you Carolyn Donsky for the nomination and thank you to all the amazing and strong women in my life who lift me up each and every day.

“When women support each other, incredible things happen.”-unknown author

#womensupportingwomen #challengeaccepted #lifteachotherup #youareenough #kindnessmatters #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #wheredidmommyssmilego

It’s 11:11

Monday Motivation

It’s 11:11. Time to make your wishes come true! We all make wishes subconsciously throughout our day, probably numerous times per day, that which we hope to fulfill.

Many of these wishes are just a fleeting moment in time like when you find yourself wishing it would stop raining outside or maybe you wish you could take a vacation.

Then there are the wishes that are done with more of a conscious mind like when we wish we we could find a way to have more money or wish we could somehow find a way to better our health or then there is the wish of so many who are longing (and wishing) to find that one true love to share their life with.

In order for our wishes to come true, they need to become more than just idle thoughts. They take vision, they take a mental image, they take intent, they take direction and they need to be written down and read out loud many times a day.

Wishes can and do come true, so tell me one thing that you wish for right now? 

#makeithappen #mondaymotivation #whatdoyouwishfor #makeawishescometrue #makeawish #thepowerofwishes #writeyourwishesdown #saythemoutloud #eleveneleven #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #dreamer #desire

Keeping Up With Kanye

 

I’m sure most of you reading this have probably seen or read the news lately and whenever there is any kind of distraction from the Global Pandemic or finding out what the President of the United States (a term I use loosely) has said or done now, we welcome this much needed distraction with open arms. I of course particularly love the distractions that come from Hollywood or Reality TV because (I’ll be honest), those are two of my biggest obsessions in life, but what has been playing out in Hollywood/Reality TV over the past week or so in regards to the Kardashian and West family is truly heartbreaking.

Yes the Kardashians in particular have undoubtedly chosen to be in the public eye and have allowed us into their homes for over ten years now but when the cameras are turned off, the world still watches them in judgment, waiting for the next piece of Tabloid News to hit the stands. At the end of the day they are human which means that they make mistakes, they bleed, they hurt and they are not immune to disease or death either. This also means that no matter what or how they choose to live their lives, it can’t be easy always having the world watching your every move.

It’s been no secret for several years now that Kanye suffers with Bipolar Disorder which is a very complex Mental Disorder. Bipolar Disorder “causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, concentration and the ability to carry out day to day tasks.” A person with a Bipolar Disorder will go through periods of extremely “up, elated, irritable or energized behavior to very down, sad, indifferent or hopeless.”

Bipolar Disorder is a treatable illness and although it can be managed with medication, therapy and other treatments it is also a lifelong illness that normally needs a lifetime of monitoring in order for someone suffering to have a good quality of life. The last thing anyone, famous or not, needs while experiencing a manic or depressive episode of Bipolar is to be met with criticism or abandonment and when it’s being played out so publicly the way it has been with Kanye is sadly being met exactly this way.

My only hope is that Kanye gets the help he so desperately needs right now and that he can begin to use his platform for good (even though he’s got my vote for President. Oh right, I can’t vote!) and let his many fans around the world understand that sickness does not translate into weakness and that sometimes in life we fall down but that it’s okay to ask for help when you need help getting back up again. 

We need to learn how to lift each other up with kindness and empathy because no one is immune to Mental Illness.

#youareenough #endthestigmatogether #bekind #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #checkonyourlovedones #keepingupwiththekardashians #kanyewest #bipolardisorder #manicdepression #mentalhealth #mentalillness #kindnessmatters 

Who Needs A Hug Today?

I know the one thing that many of us are really missing and craving most in our lives right now is the gentle touch of a hug from friends and family. 

For many individuals it has been well over 4 months since they have been able to feel the warmth of a hug or any other kind of positive physical touch for that matter which is definitely starting to have a very negative impact on many people’s mental health.

Even though more and more communities are starting to reopen slowly (in Ontario and much of Canada that is) and more and more things are starting to return to “normal” (but what is normal anymore?), the one thing that still remains the same is that we need to continue to be vigilant when it comes to physical distancing because if we let our guard down too much or too soon there could be even further and other detrimental consequences to our actions. 

It is unnatural for most human beings to live without any kind of physical touch at all. Positive physical touch is soothing, it’s calming and scientifically speaking, it is of the utmost importance to our wellbeing. 

Whether it’s just as simple as a tap on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a high five, a squeeze of the hand, a stroke of the arm, a kiss on the cheek or a warm embrace, the power that physical touch has on both our bodies and minds can easily let someone know that no matter what, it’s all going to be okay and who amongst us doesn’t need to feel that extra sense of safety and security right about now?

But in the meantime as we continue to wait out the storm lets all celebrate International Self-Care Day today by taking care of you first. Try giving some of that extra love you are missing or craving so much to yourself instead with a great big ole bear hug and remember to hold on as long and as tightly as you need.

#thepoweroftouch #whoneedsahug #physicaltouch #positivephysicaltouch #physicaldistancing #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #blogger #youarenotalone #therapeutic #pettherapy #mindfulness #internationalselfcareday #bearhug

UNMASKING OUR SELF-EXPRESSION WITH A MASK

I think it’s probably safe to say that face masks are here to stay, but for how long, well that’s pretty much anybody’s guess? 

For the past 6 years going into any large public spaces has not been an easy task for me. For the better part of 6 years now I’ve managed to avoid going to most Grocery Stores, Walmart and Malls as much as humanly possible but when the need arises nowadays I put on a face mask to help protect myself and others. 

Since it looks as though face masks are here to stay for the foreseeable future most (but definitely not all) people have begun to embrace our new norm as more than just a necessity to help curb the spread of Covid-19 but from what I can see they have quickly become one of the hottest selling fashion accessories around and for many people they are also becoming the perfect way to show Self-Expression.

With face masks now being a way of life for most of us, many individuals who were once afraid to express their true authentic self are now using this as an opportunity to show the world who they really are even if the irony is not lost as we are having to do so by covering up our faces. 

Self-Expression doesn’t necessarily have to be something creative it just has to be you. It’s a way of transforming our thoughts and feelings into some other form. It allows us to display our individuality, reflect on our beliefs and needs and it’s also a great way to help validate oneself.

As I continue on my difficult journey toward finding Mental Wellness and Self-Discovery I can now do so while sporting my brand new fashion accessory which I have just added to my collection. It is a true and authentic expression of who I am, it is a reflection of what I so passionately advocate for and it is a gentle way to remind each and every passerby that no matter what; “You Are Enough”.

***this is the logo I had created a few years ago which has not only become my signature and the name of my Blog but it has also become the backdrop for my Facebook page “youareenough” and several other projects***

#showmeyourmask #youareenough #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #startaconversation #wearamask #selfexpression #selfdiscovery #myjourney #blogger #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #advocate 

The Calm During The Storm


Since I was a young girl I’ve always been afraid of thunder and lightning for some reason but today I decided to embrace the oncoming storm head on as there was also no doubt on anyone’s mind that we needed this rain to help cool down the humid air and nourish the grass and trees as it’s been a very hot and dry summer thus far. 

So today as the sky grew darker, the air grew cooler, the wind grew stronger, the sound of the thunder grew louder and the rain began to fall frantically I ran toward the storm this time instead of running away from it. 

I think that rainstorms (much like snowstorms) bring with it a sense of calmness for many people and being able to just sit quietly on my front porch today and watch the storm pass by brought with it that same feeling of comfort for me. 

I’m not really sure on a scientific level why the storm gave me this sense of calmness and peace but psychologically I actually felt understood and not so alone with my thoughts which have become increasingly more and more difficult to manage. 

They say that it’s the calm before the storm that brings with it a temporary feeling of stillness and quiet but today it was the calm during the storm that I was finally able to feel a moment of ease and just being able to breathe in the fresh, sweet smell of the rain after the storm truly helped me to embrace it and also bring to mind some beautiful and reminiscent memories.

#embracethestorms #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #thecalmbeforethestorm #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #rainstorm #letitrain #nature #mindfulness #therapeutic #selfcare

Life Is F’ing Hard

For the better part of six years now I have found myself wondering most days “Why is life so hard?” and over time (I’m guessing just in the last four months alone) it has probably crossed your mind many times as well. We are all human beings after all and we will all fall on hard times in our lifetime after all and we all go through our own emotional rollercoasters through different stages of our life after all; it’s what makes us human after all! 

At any given moment when life becomes too hard we may need a little extra support and guidance to get us through which is when it’s most important to remember that it’s okay to rely on others for help and it’s more than okay to ask. Some days/nights when I am experiencing a particularly acute and dire episode of negative emotions (crazy amount lately) I will often allow my mind to wander to my super social supports (support can come from many different kinds of people and places). Just thinking about them and knowing that they are there for me in case I need to reach out can provide me with a level of comfort to help get me through in the moment because ignoring our negative emotions or trying to avoid facing our hard times head on will not make them go away. In fact from what I have learned over time will only create further despair and mental anguish. One of the most difficult things I’ve had to learn to accept over the last six years is that it’s all part of our journey and talking through it can really help you better understand your feelings. 

I have also learned over the last couple of years that making self-care a top priority is one of necessity when life is especially hard. For me that includes writing and journaling, reading a good (self-help) book, doing a puzzle, taking a warm bubble bath, texting with a friend or going for a hike or a long walk. Since the onset of Covid-19 Rich and I have tried to prioritize taking long walks every day and exploring our neighbourhood. Until recently when the temperatures weren’t so crazy hot and humid we would go for an hour or two walk during the day but have recently moved it to the evenings. I’ve even found getting caught in the rain sometimes an added bonus! 

What do you do to take care of you in hard times? What do you find works best?


#lifeishard #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #advocate #selfcare #ichooseme #youarenotalone #findyoursupportsystem #family #friendship #therapy #kindness #itsthejourneynotthedestination #masksoff #checkonyourlovedones 

Focus On The Journey


If you haven’t kinda noticed by now (but I thought it seemed pretty obvious lol), I don’t tend to post pictures of myself very often and the simple truth is that when I see myself on the other side of the camera I get completely freaked out. What I see in front of me and what the rest of you may see tell two very different stories. 

What I see in front of me is someone who is lost, someone who is full of fear and self-doubt, someone who has been broken for far too long, someone who is worthless or not good enough, someone who is overwhelmed 99% of the time and someone who is complete and utterly defeated right now. 

My journey over the last 6 years has been hard and I tend to lose my focus a lot, probably because it’s just so easy to get side tracked along the way from your destination when someone is always looking directly at you in the mirror and seeing the ugly truth about you even if others may try and tell you it’s all just lies. 

My illness prefers to believe the lies though and would much rather just accept the negative rhetoric than believe that I am worthy or capable. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said; “Life is a journey, not a destination” which is something I need to remind myself of often and now more than ever. I need to also remember that our life’s journey is filled with many days, months or even years of pictures that seem too out of focus to see beyond our struggles and heartaches but it may actually be those pictures that help us find some of our greatest destinations along the way.

#itsajourney #youareenough #focusonthejourney #itsnotaboutthedestination #followtheyellowbrickroad #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #beyou