Today is National Grief Awareness Day, and it feels like a good time to talk about something we don’t talk about nearly enough; Grief.
Over the past many months, I’ve experienced grief in ways I never expected.
I’ve grieved the loss of my mom. And even though our relationship may have been complicated, I’ve been surprised by how deeply I miss her and how often I find myself wishing I could talk to her. Grief has shown up when I’ve least expected it; in quiet moments, in memories, on difficult days, and sometimes when I think I’m doing ok.
But grief hasn’t only been about losing a person.
I’ve experienced heart-wrenching grief for the loss of my beloved fur baby Maggie since losing her two months ago. I also continue to grieve parts of my life that have changed and the loss of the way things used to be. And more recently, I’ve found myself grieving the person I was before my accident and the sense of security I once had in my own body.
There have been so many feelings along the way. Sadness, anger, guilt, loneliness, frustration, fear, disbelief, exhaustion, and even moments of peace and happiness.
And that’s the thing about grief. It isn’t linear.
We often hear about the “stages of grief,” as though we move neatly from denial to anger to bargaining to depression and finally acceptance. But real grief doesn’t work that way. We can move forward and then suddenly find ourselves right back in a place we thought we’d already left.
One day we can laugh and feel almost like ourselves again.
The next day, a song, a smell, a photograph, a date on the calendar or a simple memory can bring the tears right back.
And that’s okay.
There is no right way to grieve. There is no timeline. There is no expiration date.
You don’t have to be “over it” because someone else thinks you should be. You don’t have to hide your tears. You don’t have to apologize for having a hard day. And you certainly don’t have to feel guilty when you have a good one.
If you’re grieving today, I want you to know that you are not alone.
Whatever your grief looks like, whether you’ve lost a person, a pet, a relationship, a dream, your health, a chapter of your life, or simply the version of yourself you once knew, you are allowed to grieve that loss.
Feel the sadness. Feel the anger. Feel the confusion. Feel the love. Feel the moments of joy, too.
Give yourself permission to feel all of it.
I’m learning that grief isn’t something we “get over.” It’s something we learn to carry. Some days the weight is heavier than others. And sometimes, when we least expect it, we discover that we can carry it a little differently.
So today, on National Grief Awareness Day, let’s remind each other to be a little gentler with ourselves and with those around us.
You never know what someone else is carrying behind their smile.
And if today is a hard day for you, please know that you don’t have to carry it alone.
YouAreEnough 