The start of 2023 nearly broke me entirely. Last January was probably the hardest month of my entire journey to date (being taken from my home in handcuffs by 2 police officers and carted off to the hospital in the back of a police cruiser while in the midst of a mental health crisis will likely do that to somebody). Today is just another reminder of how much this time of year has become one of the most difficult for me. There is this unwritten expectation placed on the first day of January that we must reflect back on our past year in order to make the coming one all about fresh, new starts. Sometimes, though, it’s just too painful to look back.
This is why I stopped making new year’s resolutions long ago because if there is one thing I have learned while in the throes of my journey, it’s that by setting big goals at the start of any new year will only exasperate my feelings of failure and defeat. Trust me, I’m already doing that while thinking about the giant to-do list of things I didn’t accomplish in 2023, but I wanted to. For close to 10 years now, my new year’s resolutions have been all about my mental health and survival, which, for me, is more than enough. With my track record, I’ve kinda lost hope that anything else will do given that each new year tries to test me more than the last.
So, no matter what 2024 has in store for me, as this new year begins, I will focus my efforts on my neverending battle of survival with my mental health and now my physical health, too. I will continue to make therapy a priority, try to separate myself from my anxiety more, practice gratitude, celebrate my wins, only focus on connections that bring me joy, think of ways to be kinder to my body, make more time to do “nothing”, remind myself daily that my thoughts do not define me, and write, blog and journal lots.
Please enjoy this highlight reel from some of my most tender moments of 2023 and just some of the many beautiful people I got to share them with. Thank you again for continuing to come along with me on this crazy ride and for showing me so much love and support. I really appreciate you a lot.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1kYZUGp_9f/?igsh=MWQ1NXE3NWV5ZDYyZA==
Peace, love, and good health to you all in 2024.
YouAreEnough 