Would love to hear your thoughts

Today I had my first in-person appointment with my Psychiatrist since March of 2020 when my appointment which had been scheduled for March 16th was abruptly cancelled due to everything being shut down. I was set to start a new treatment that day which didn’t end up happening for another 18 months. 

Having spent the last 32 months using the hospital’s online portal as my main source of communication with my Psychiatrist has been nothing short of convenient and has also helped put my mind at ease by not having to navigate my way through the downtown core, spending 45 mins to an hour in my car each way or stressing myself out trying to find parking (I hate driving at the best of times!) but there is still something to be said for being face-to-face with someone, especially when it comes to making proper eye contact and reading a person’s body language which are both equally important to me. 

There was lots to catch up on today since my last appointment a few weeks ago (my next appointment will be back online!) which included a discussion he told me he’d been very afraid to bring up to me during our last several sessions given what I’ve been going through both mentally and physically over the last 7.5 months due to my participation in the clinical trial, but our conversation today kinda led us in a direction which gave him a perfect opening to discuss what’s been on his mind. He told me that he has been in touch with a colleague of his at a nearby hospital who is conducting another clinical research study for individuals like myself who suffer with “Treatment Resistant Depression” and have found no relief from other treatments such as ECT, Ketamine and Psilocybin. Which, lucky me, I’m 3 for 3 for. 

He then told me that he has mentioned my case with his colleague already knowing I could potentially be a perfect candidate for the study. 

The treatment is called “Deep Brain Stimulation” (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_brain_stimulation) and is already quite successful with patients who suffer with certain neurological disorders like Parkinson disease and Epilepsy (I not only suffer with treatment resistant depression but I now suffer with neurological damage as well since my treatment! Woohoo!). 

It is a bit of an invasive procedure which for starters worries me and of course if there is even a one percent chance of patients experiencing any adverse effects from it, my luck it will be me.

I swore months ago that I was done ever being a guinea pig or exploring any other treatment options at this point in my journey as I just feel so done and defeated but I told him that I would consider meeting with the Doctor via Zoom to at least learn more details, likely in January. 

Would love to hear your thoughts. 

#Psychiatry #inperson #online #facetoface #clinicalstudy #deepbrainstimulation #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #treatmentresistantdepression #ECT #ketamine #Psilocybin #defeated #hospital

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

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