When battling Chronic Depression like I do, some days are more manageable than others but some days are just simply really, really bad.
Yesterday was one of those really, really bad days for me. I can’t recall the last time I felt this bad. I’m very overwhelmed by so much in my life right now. It took everything in my power to make it through the day. It started with a trigger in the morning. I spiraled quickly from there. It hit me really hard and really unexpectedly, although I do feel now like it may have been building up all week. Suddenly I was paralyzed by fear. I felt helpless and worthless. I was angry with myself and as the day went on I felt more and more like I was drowning, gasping for air; trying desperately to stay afloat.
Sadness took over my entire body and mind yesterday. I couldn’t control my thoughts that just kept escalating with each passing hour. I couldn’t control my tears which came on at a warp speed and wouldn’t stop from dawn til dusk. I felt completely broken and was left wishing I could just go to sleep and never wake up again. Nothing seemed to help me. I just had to get through it, somehow.
The problems of yesterday haven’t disappeared but I am grateful to have somehow gotten through a really, really bad day. Today I was able to step outside long enough to breathe in the warmth of the sun and the sights and sounds of nature for a #summerofrich adventure in the city. Yesterday’s problems may not have disappeared but at least today I was afforded a fresh start.
*Thank you Rich for continuing to hold my hand while I get through those really, really bad days.
#itsoktonotbeok #abaddepressionday #nature #tears #mentalhealth #depression #mentalwellness #yesterday #today #afreshstart #suicideawareness #youarenotalone #youareenough