Is It A Panic Attack?

Today I needed to tune out the rest of the world somehow, even just for a short while. I needed to escape to the one place I find brings me the most peace and tranquility; hiking in nature.

I had a really trying week and by Friday night I was so mentally and physically exhausted. After we finished watching a movie I took a sleeping pill to ensure that I’d get some much needed rest which my body and mind were both screaming for. About 30 minutes later, still wide awake my heart began to race, I felt like I couldn’t swallow, I tried to get up but felt dizzy, my eyes blurred, my body was shaking all over, the tingling sensation I regularly feel of late in my hands and feet were suddenly pulsating throughout my entire body and then my body suddenly felt a numbness and my limbs felt heavy. By now I’d convinced myself I was having a stroke or something of that nature and tried to convince Rich as well as he caressed my arm to settle my panic. 

Panic attacks can often mimic themselves as something more alarming. As my panic attack grew more intense and more debilitating I feared that I needed immediate medical attention and that the sleeping pill I’d taken had now been wasted. I experience panic attacks a lot so I should be used to them by now but over the course of the past 2 months I’ve been living with many of these symptoms on a daily basis on a much different scale and so when they intensify to a level where I begin to panic it’s so hard to tell anymore if I’m in a fight or flight mode or if something else is causing it. But as the symptoms began to subside after about 20 to 30 minutes I knew it was a panic attack and nothing more. I could finally take a deep breath and allow the sleeping pill to work.

We’ve been finding trails close to home lately as the price of gas is just fucking insane right now but luckily there are many places to hike nearby. Sadly though there was a lot of damage in the forest from the storm last weekend. I was still feeling a bit off from last night but I knew how badly I needed it. 

Today’s #summerofrich hike reminded me of all the uphill battles and downward spirals I’ve endured over the last 8 years. It reminded me how many times I’ve lost my way over the last 8 years. It reminded me how many wrong turns I’ve taken, how many times I’ve felt so lost and how breathless and exhausted its left me but I was also reminded as we finished our hike that no matter how hard it gets, somehow I find the strength to climb the mountain tops, stepping over many broken branches along the way. 

#hiking #panicattacks #clinicaltrial #brokenbranches #mountaintops #nature #alltrails #peace #tranquility #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #strength #youarenotalone #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok 

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

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