Last Night

Last night I went for “Lucky Number 7”. 

Last night I increased the dose again.

Last night I felt a departure from my body.

Last night I felt a near death experience and for quite some time I was pretty certain I actually was dead.

Last night I felt a connection to God. 

Last night I lost all sense of reality and time. Everything felt distorted, blurred. 

Last night I had very intrusive and overwhelmingly intense visions from both my past and present.

Last night I encountered non-terrestrial like beings during my state of consciousness. 

Last night I cried alot. I screamed alot. I shook alot.

Last night I feared for my loved one’s safety. 

Last night I felt the warmth of Rich’s hand reaching out to calm me. The nurse came in to turn on some soothing music after I ripped my ear buds out of my ears. 

Last night I begged for forgiveness, I pleaded for help. I prayed my loved ones would all be ok without me. 

Last night I demanded the feeling to stop. Over and over and over again.

Last night felt like the scariest night of my entire life and the most emotionally draining experience ever.

Last night didn’t feel so lucky to me. It was very distressing. Fucked up to say the least but still, somehow I left there feeling a sense of peace in my heart.

#aboutlastnight #ketamine #treatmentresiatantdepression #luckynumberseven #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #suicideawareness #youareenough #youarenotalone

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

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