Down The Rabbit Hole

I’ve been in a pretty bad headspace over the last few days and my negative  thoughts and uncontrollable emotions seem to have me tumbling further and further down into a very dark rabbit hole, maybe for my own protection. Or maybe it’s something else. 
I’m not really sure how I fell so deep into this particular rabbit hole but I may have begun spiralling down it around the same time I awoke one morning earlier this week with severe and at times unbearable back and chest pain. 
I have found myself in tears too many times to count this week and I honestly have no clue why I’m even crying half the time anymore unless of course it’s from the unexplainable pain I’m in.
I’ve tried climbing out of the rabbit hole many times before but I think that when I burrow further down inside that I feel a sense of protection and safety from any further harm or pain. Being inside the hole feels almost like a fortress and keeps me warm. 
Maybe the rabbit hole gives me a false sense of security but its okay because I know that anytime I am able to dig or claw my way out that there is always a colony waiting for me at the top, holding out their hand or ready to reach in and pull me out by my ears.
#rabbitholes #safety #headspace #itsalrighttocry #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mindfulness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #checkonyourlovedones #youareenough 

Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

2 thoughts on “Down The Rabbit Hole”

  1. ((Hugs)) Sorry things are hard right now.
    Sometimes we need to stop trying to frantically scramble out of the rabbit hole or like a tractor in mud spinning it’s wheels, we become bogged down and stuck further.
    Stopping for a moment to sit in the discomfort, just breathe and notice your thoughts and gently question what happened that may have brought you down the rabbit hole in the first place.
    If you can notice your trigger you can remind yourself that it’s just a trigger, you have been through this before and you already survived it but now your brain’s trying to (somewhat misguidedly) protect you by reminding you something scary happened once when a/b or c happened and is now throwing you into the rabbit hole without stopping to question if you really need to be there or if those thought loops are actually helpful to your current situation.
    Calmly thank your brain for trying and insist on a new method of action, gently reach your hand out of the hole and wave by asking those people around you for help before they ask you if you need it.

    Like

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