Tag: healthy boundaries

What is Your Proudest Accomplishment of 2019


I’ve had to take several steps back during the last few weeks of 2019 to try and figure out what I need most right now in my life in order to help me move forward into 2020. It’s been a very difficult year for both myself and my family but at the same time I certainly can’t nor won’t forget my proudest accomplishments and all the good things that have happened for me as well.

This past year has taught me so much about myself and as I enter into the new year (and decade) today and try to regain some of those baby steps forward I know that I first need to learn how to crawl before I can learn to walk or run; an important lesson we could all learn from. We may also need to be reminded as the new year begins that we should try and set small and attainable goals; not resolutions, that we need to inspire one another, that we need to lift each other up, that we need to create healthy boundaries, that we need to be kinder to each other, that we need to judge less and forgive ourselves and others more, that we need to make self-care our number one priority, that we are not alone, that we can do anything; not everything and last but certainly not least we need to never forget that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

#letsshareourproudestmoments
#myproudestaccomplishmentthisyear
#wheredidmommyssmilego #childrensbook #author #goodriddance2019 #selfcare #ichooseme #youarenotalone #bekindtoyourself #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #yourmentalhealthmatters #goals #blogger #2020vision #dreams #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough

Reflection Of A Decade

REFLECTION OF A DECADE

It’s crazy to think about it but we are not only about to enter a whole new year but an entire new decade as well.  It’s kinda difficult right now for me to reflect back on the last decade with joy in my heart because for more than half of the last ten years I have spent it trying to survive and well truth be told, trying to die. 

I do know though that somewhere buried beneath my illness that my heart has felt a lot of pride and joy throughout the last decade from so many amazing highlights and milestones. In the past ten years we added a new addition to our family and Maggie has since filled our family with so much joy for close to nine years now. In the past ten years I’ve gotten to witness both Elementary and High School graduations galore (with one more to go in the new year!) and I have also watched all three of my children transition from pre-teens to teens and now into young adulthood as well. In the past ten years I got to plan and execute one of the greatest days of our lives with the celebration and milestone of Jacob and Hannah’s B’nai Mitzvah; a night which we were so blessed to be surrounded by so many of our loved ones.  In the past ten years we have also acknowledged and celebrated many more milestone birthdays as well including the most incredible family vacation in honour of Rachel’s 13th birthday. And I will never forget nearly ten years ago being able to experience the look on my kid’s faces when we walked through the gates of Disney World all together as a family!

Those are only a handful of the incredible highlights and milestones from the last ten years and there have been countless more but as I mentioned above it’s kinda difficult for me to feel the joy in my heart through the shattered glass of my illness when more than half of this current decade has been spent just trying to get through each day; basically I live each day in survival mode where the end goal is trying to avoid having a bad day. 

I never want to erase the incredible memories I’ve made during the last ten years and I certainly never want to forget the many successes either so as I enter into the next year and decade I will take with me what I have learned over this past year in order to make room for joy in my heart. I have learned so much about myself this past year alone and one of my greatest successes this year was being able to accept that if some days all I can do is survive, then that’s one step closer to joy. We all deserve to feel joy in our hearts and maybe I needed this past decade to teach me how.  

Wishing you all good health, joy and much success for 2020!

Please continue to follow my journey into the next decade at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com

#2020 #happynewyear #findingjoy #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #reflection #youareenough #depression #anxiety #masksoff #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #endthestigmatogether #bekindtoyourself #ichooseme

2020 Vision

With the New Year only a few days away it’s a constant reminder of how it has become one of the most difficult days of the year for me as there is this unwritten expectation that is placed on the day to reflect on our past year in order to make the coming year all about bright, fresh starts filled with an abundance of new opportunities. New Year’s is now a reminder for me as to how my depression keeps me saddened to my past and how my anxiety keeps me terrified to live in my future. Today I began my descent into 2020 by writing down some of my thoughts and reflections from this past year without placing too much pressure on myself. I made two columns: the first one was ‘What do I want to leave behind in 2019?” and the second one was “what do I want to take with me into 2020?” Here are just a few:

  1. I want to leave my past grievances behind which have taken up too much space in my head, I want to leave behind the guilt that keeps me ruminating daily and I want to leave behind so much of the anger I hold inside which stems from my illness.
  2. I want to find a way to let in more moments of happiness in 2020 and to allow myself to feel those moments of happiness. I want to pave a pathway to better health and wellness for not only me but for my family too so we can begin to heal together.

What would you like to leave behind in 2020 and what you would also like to bring with you into 2020? Love to hear your thoughts!

#newyear #twentytwenty #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #startaconversation #youareenough #noshame #endthestigmatogether #bekindtoyourself #ichooseme

Catching The Other Shoe Before It Drops

My week began like any other and just as I mentioned in my latest blog “Maybe I Don’t Want To Get Better”, Dec 4, 2019; https://youareenough712.wordpress.com I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It seems as though whenever I have a moment of happiness in my life it is quickly overshadowed by some kind of despair or displeasure and this week has been no exception (actually it’s been a bit more than the exception but not up for discussing it right now; you’ll have to wait for the bestselling Tell-All edition). My depression and anxiety warn me at least once a day, if not more that this will happen and I have come to believe them because they really seem to find enjoyment in controlling just how much happiness I deserve and for how long I am allowed to feel any joy or pleasure.

In many of the situations that I encounter in which my illness drops the other shoe (a 6 inch stiletto to be exact), usually smack dab on top of my head or in the pit of my stomach, I often need to take a step back (that is once I can stand up again, or wipe away the tears) and talk my way through it. Oftentimes this will include creating healthy boundaries.

I’ve spoken about the importance of creating healthy boundaries many times before in my writing. I know that having healthy boundaries are extremely necessary in creating healthy relationships and in general, a healthy life. The problem for me though lies within my illness which often makes it very challenging and lets not forget that ugly five letter word that builds an electric fence around my ability to create those healthy boundaries: GUILT!

Guilt also has two allies that join forces regularly to consume my daily life; their names are Fear and Self-Doubt, and together they have a profound effect on many of my relationships. I continually feel like I am damned if I do or damned if I don’t because of my constant need for setting healthy boundaries for myself. Some people may look at these healthy boundaries as a selfish act, but I know in my heart (even when my mind tries to argue with it) that I need to do it for my own well-being.

Sometimes that may even mean distancing myself from toxic situations if my well-being is being compromised or trying not to force something that makes me feel sad or uncomfortable and it may also mean coming to terms with the fact that I no longer fit in everywhere.

Creating healthy boundaries means making self-care a priority and doing what’s best for you and your life and no-one else’s and once you are able to assertively throw that other shoe back at your guilt, your fear and your self-doubt it’s sure to make a lot more room in your closet for a brand new pair of comfy slippers because in all honesty who really needs another pair of 6 inch stilettos anyhow?

#healthyboundaries #selfcare #ichooseme #youarenotalone #youareenough #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #squashtheguilt #courage #comfyshoes