Family is not a game for which we keep score; family should be treasured.
#crossword #scrabble #crafting #connection #shadowbox #ilovecrafting #therapy #therapeutic #familymatters #blessed #youarenotalone #youareenough #iloveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday #myreasonswhy
Today is a Statutory holiday in Ontario called Family Day. It is also celebrated in several other Provinces throughout Canada as well, but not all. It only became a holiday here in Ontario in 2008 but has been recognized in Alberta since 1990 and is a basic reminder to everyone to make time to spend with your family and to reflect on the importance of family values.
The definition of what a family is can be quite complicated and debated. There is no right or wrong answer as to how you define family and it’s more about what you make of it or what works for you. Family is not always 2 people who are related by blood or through marriage.
My definition of family has changed a lot, especially over the last 6 years of my illness. I have learned so much about myself and others and what I want and don’t need most of all in my life to help me thrive and evolve.
Family to me is anyone who loves you unconditionally and supports you even when it’s not always so easy. Family means accepting one another; flaws and all, helping each other to flourish and grow, celebrating victories, wiping away tears and making one another laugh through those tears.
But not everyone is as blessed to have people in their lives (blood related or not) who define family which is why today is such an important reminder to show kindness to everyone you meet because no matter how you define family we all deserve to matter.
How do you define family?
#family #friendship #familyday #values #youareenough #kindness #youmatter #familymatters #youarenotalone #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #blessings #love #myreasonswhy #myheart
Less than 48 hours ago I had never heard of the unofficial holiday called “Galentine’s Day”; that was until my daughter announced at dinner the other night that she would be celebrating it with some of her best girlfriends later that week.
I suddenly became intrigued by this fictitious holiday after then hearing it mentioned several more times over the next day or so (weird eh?, but it’s no secret that Facebook and Instagram listen to our conversations). It turns out that this so called holiday has been around for 10 years and first gained its popularity after an episode of the TV sitcom Parks and Recreation aired it.
This made up holiday is now celebrated on February 13th, which is of course the day before Valentine’s Day and focuses purely on celebrating friendship among women. For many individuals who are not in committed and loving relationships this can be one of the hardest weeks of the year when the air is filled with nothing but romance so maybe Galentine’s Day is the perfect distraction.
I think that whether this holiday was made up or not, Parks and Rec writers were on to something when they created Galentine’s Day because friendship is definitely worth celebrating, in fact it needs to be celebrated and it’s most definitely a holiday with a lot less pressure than most and certainly a lot more inclusivity than Valentine’s Day!
Friendship is a precious gift and should not be taken for granted. Friendship should be cherished and surrounded by laughter and adventure and shenanigans. Friendship means being able to show your vulnerability without fear of being judged and friendship is about being loyal and helping to make the lows in life a little easier and the highs a lot more fun.
So I now declare that Galentine’s Day become an official National Holiday in conjunction with or as an extension of Valentine’s Day as friendship needs to be honoured because in the end it’s not the romance that makes a marriage last for 50 + years, it’s the friendship. What does friendship mean to you?
Happy Galentine’s Day to all my beautiful friends who always make the lows a little easier and the highs a lot more fun! ❤
And happy Valentine’s Day to my bestest friend of all ❤ who’s friendship I cherish above all. I love you to the moon and back Rich, forever and a day!
Please continue to follow my journey at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com
Go ahead, tag your Galentines!
#galentinesday #valentinesday #empowerment #friendship #love #myheart #youareenough #loyal #cherish #romance #adventure #holiday #friends #youarenotalone #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #selflove
WHAT IS HS?
A year ago today (it came up on my memory wall) I told you about a chronic recurrent skin condition that I have been battling with for about 3 years now (see blog; Antibiotics: To Take Or Not To Take). Its name is as painful to pronounce as the condition itself and when a flair up occurs it is beyond debilitating.
Last summer I went to see a specialist who happens to be the only one of her kind in the city who specializes in Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS for short). Months prior to seeing the specialist I had been put on an antibiotic indefinitely which I was not comfortable with but it seemed like the only solution until my appointment with the specialist.
Once I finally met with the specialist she then prescribed me yet another medication that she said would be more tolerable as a long term option.
We discussed future treatments in case the medication didn’t work, treatments which could include surgery or a very well known drug which treats many autoimmune diseases that would need to be injected into my body weekly for the rest of my life.
As you can well imagine, none of her options sounded too appealing to me. We also had a very candid discussion about many of the underlying causes behind this chronic (and basically) non- curable condition. Included in that list of causes are inflammation in the body and mood disorders, both of which have been the bane of my existence for almost 6 years now. It is also very likely to affect people (this condition in general affects more women than men) who are overweight and who smoke. Well lucky me, I was basically 4 for 4.
I have another follow up appointment in a couple of months but I have not had a single flair up in 2 months since I began my quest to find all natural remedies for my Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis symptoms. I have lost weight and quit smoking in that same 2 month period and I am living pain free as well; all thanks to a couple of scoops of magic each and every day. And the best part is I don’t need to take medication anymore to keep the flair ups at bay.
There may be no cure for HS or many of the other daily issues that consume my life but for now I am grateful to have found these products that are helping me focus on finding my way towards living my best life both mentally and physically.
https://www.myvalentus.com/kfluxgold
#myvalentus #valentus #miracle #HidradenitisSuppurativa #magiccocoa #happycoffee #immuneboost #youareenough #noshame #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone
Today I’m having a particularly hard day. I can’t say that there’s been one thing in particular that has made the start of the new week so hard for me but often when someone is suffering with Depression and Anxiety there doesn’t have to be a good reason, it just is. I probably experienced every negative emotion known to mankind before noon-time today and cried at least three times before then as well.
I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it past noon today with so many overwhelmingly negative and unwanted thoughts going on inside my head causing me a great amount of fear, guilt, anger and sadness to erupt all at once so I sure as hell was grateful that I had an appointment already scheduled to see my therapist this afternoon.
Over the course of my illness there has been one constant in my journey and that is therapy. It has not always been good therapy and some of it has left me shaking my head in shock and anger and some has just been downright awful but through a lot of trial and error I finally found the perfect balance for me a couple of years ago and my lifesaver. I’m not ashamed to tell people I go to therapy (well that’s probably quite obvious by now seeing as I divulge every intimate thought and feeling to you!) and it makes me feel sad when some people are reluctant to see a Therapist or make excuses as to why they can’t see one because whether it’s going to see a Therapist, a Counsellor, a Life Coach, a Social Worker, a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist when you are feeling overwhelmed or sad should be just as normal as going to see your Doctor when you have the flu!
I know that therapy can be very expensive if not covered by OHIP (in Canada) or an insurance plan (if you even have one) and we all know that there can be long wait lists for OHIP covered Therapists and Doctors however there are still plenty of places to start if you need help right away including Distress and Crisis Helplines and Hospital ER’s. I have found myself in many Emergency Rooms, too many times now that I’ve stopped counting, but during several of those visits I have been given access to free community-based group and individual programs and sometimes I was also placed in one on one care with a Counsellor who work with outpatients.
It’s not always easy to talk to a loved one or confidant about what you are feeling and very often when a situation is bigger than you then you may need an outsider to listen to you who can advise you from a non-judgmental place and with an unbiased perspective. A therapist et al can help to validate your experience and not make you and your problems feel unworthy while being in a safe place to process your thoughts. They will give you different tools for working through difficult situations, allowing room for your personal growth, teach you coping skills, give you insight and model for you what healthy boundaries and healthy relationships should be and sometimes just being able to say things out loud can help you understand your thoughts and feelings in a whole new way.
Until 5 years and 10 months ago I had never been to a Therapist; I never felt that I needed to but now I look at therapy or life-coaching from a totally different lens and I truly believe that at some point or another in every person’s life that seeking the guidance of a professional for a little extra emotional support could really help keep us balanced. We all go through ups and downs in our lifetime and we could all use some tweaking from time to time and there ain’t no shame in that! Oh and by the way, no matter how hard today has been for me I did not smoke!!
If you or someone you know needs immediate help start here or go to your closest emergency room:
Toronto Distress Centres- 416-408-HELP(4357)
Gerstein Centre- 416-929-5200
Kids Help Phone- 1-800-668-6868
Please continue to follow my journey at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com
#Smokefree #twentydays #hardday #helpline #distresscentres #therapy #therapyiscool #itsoktonotbeok #itsoktoaskforhelp #startaconversation #youareenough #noshame #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #mentalillness #selfcare #mentalwellness #masksoff #depression #anxiety #dontsufferinsilence
Yesterday was a good reminder for all of us just how fragile life truly is and that we should never take it for granted. Yesterday was also a reminder that no-one on this earth is invincible and that tomorrow is never promised. Today as the world mourns the loss of Kobe Bryant, his beautiful daughter Gianna and their seven friends that perished alongside them we must remember that Kobe was so much more than a basketball hero; he was a son, a husband, a father, a humanitarian and a legend. One of his many mantras that he lived life by was “live today to inspire tomorrow” and boy did he ever live up to this in so many ways for so many people.
When I heard the news of Kobe’s passing through a text message from our son I was at, of all places, a Shiva for a friend’s father who had recently passed away at the ripe ‘ole age of 93. For those of you who may not know what a Shiva is, it is a week-long mourning period in the Jewish faith which begins immediately following the burial. A Shiva allows for a parent, a sibling, a spouse and/or a child of the deceased to accept visitors during this period of mourning to give their condolences and to provide comfort to the mourners.
As the news began to spread feverishly around the world many people looked to find their own ways to comfort one another and find meaning from this tragic loss of life. And in that very moment, as I was surrounded by a room full of mourners I found comfort and meaning in one of Kobe’s many life messages as I suddenly found myself face to face with a grievance from my past by someone who had wronged me many years ago and who just so happened to be standing two feet in front of me! In that moment I needed to make peace in my heart because after all, tomorrow may never come. I’ve held a lot of anger and resentment toward this individual for all these years but suddenly it felt so insignificant and unworthy.
Throughout the better part of my illness I have spent a lot of time examining and re-examining past relationships including this one and I know that in order for me to move forward I need to learn how to let go of the pieces of my past that affect my wellbeing the most because life is too short and so yesterday I took another step toward finding peace in my heart after our brief but purposeful encounter!
#itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #kindness #lifestooshort #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #purpose #letitgo
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.
So I’ve made it 12 days now without smoking a cigarette. The first week was pretty easy compared to the days that have followed. I thought it was supposed to get easier over time but clearly I was wrong. Maybe it’s because during that first week I was much less mobile still due to my concussion and once I started to feel better I began to miss it more?
That first day I quit smoking it wasn’t a rash decision, it was something I had been thinking about for quite awhile, well probably for years but that day I finally felt ready. I hadn’t discussed my decision with anyone, not even Rich because I didn’t want to disappoint him if I didn’t follow through with it but once I smoked that last cigarette in my pack and did not attempt to purchase a new pack I felt like the only way I was going to make it through day one was by holding myself accountable.
Holding yourself accountable for something is more than just taking responsibility for your actions but in the long run it’s more about being able to answer to those actions. That is why I didn’t just send Rich a quick text message that morning while he was at work letting him know the good news, I also took to Facebook, WordPress, Instagram and Twitter to let everyone else know too!
If I didn’t tell anyone my plan to quit smoking that day then I’d have had no accountability for my actions, I’d have had no one to disappoint if I didn’t follow through with my actions and I’d have had no real incentive for my actions. By telling you my plan to quit smoking that day has helped make the process and my progress much more meaningful knowing just how invested so many of you are in helping me achieve my goals successfully. I’m glad I have so many of you in my life to help motivate me and always keep me accountable.
#accountability #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youarenotalone #selfcare #ichooseme #concussion #quitsmoking #daytwelve
It’s been a very long week for me, well to be quite honest it’s been a helluva long year so far (a whole 24 days in) and I think I need a do over. And what the heck was I possibly thinking when amidst all the chaos in my life this month I decided I wanted to quit smoking because there just wasn’t enough on my plate already!
I’m experiencing an unbearable amount of overwhelm between recuperating from my concussion (which seems to be 99.9 % better), quitting smoking cold turkey ten days ago, tending to some very private family matters and learning how to rid both my body and mind of some very personal demons I’m fighting off so I’m kinda just barely holding on to the edge of that cliff right now (and I’m not sure if I may of mentioned too that my mother’s been in the hospital once again for the past two weeks).
So in all reality I haven’t quite taken too many steps forward into the new year or gotten back on track like I’d hoped to and well, to be honest again, I feel like I’ve taken so many more steps backwards instead. I know I don’t give myself any credit for the things I have done because my memory is very short term and seems to only have the capacity to hold onto the negative parts. But I also know that without all the help and support I’ve received not just today or last week but over the course of my illness I’d have surely let go long ago.
Asking for help may be looked at by many as a sign of weakness but as difficult as it may be, asking for help is actually the complete opposite. Asking for help shows great strength, courage and bravery. When faced with mental health challenges, asking for help can be even more challenging but if there is one thing I have learned throughout my journey it’s how important it is to let your loved ones (or an entire community in my case) in because how else can they be there for you and give their support to you otherwise.
I admit, I find it very difficult to ask for help because I feel like I am enough of a burden to others as it is and even when help is genuinely offered to me I am always hesitant to accept it because well it kinda feels like you have lost all control but truth be told that theory went out the window almost six years ago for me when I basically lost control of my mind. Over time I have learned to surrender to those feelings and I know how important it is to show others your vulnerable side which takes great strength as well and once you have the ability to let your guard down you will see that even you deserve a little help sometimes.
Sold my first book across “The Pond” today! We may be complete strangers and seem worlds apart from one another but we have a bond that is bigger and stronger than any Mountain or Sea that separates us. Mental illness affects us all! Mental illness does not discriminate!
#feelinggrateful #startaconversation #talktoyourkids #dontsufferinsilence #itsoktonotbeok #masksoff #youarenotalone #youareenough #wheredidmommyssmilego #childrensbook #author #depression #family #children #uk #scotland #amazondotca
Every year on January 19 since I first posted this photo in 2015, along with a short message, it pops up as a memory on my Facebook wall. The first couple of years it would pop up I found it to be somewhat emotional for me to even look at and have to revisit the memory of a time I’d sooner forget, but now I know that this memory signifies much more than just about the first time I was discharged from a hospital stay where I had just spent over 3 months in psychiatric care. I know now that it is a piece of my journey and a special reminder of what living with a mental illness has taught me about life since then.
This photo reminds me that I need to keep living with my mental illness with authenticity because being honest with your loved ones or not worrying about feeling judged by others will help diminish your pain knowing just how many people are truly in your corner.
This photo reminds me what the meaning of real friendship is. Knowing there is always someone there for you ready to make you laugh or ready to wipe away your tears, without judgment.
This photo also reminds me that it’s okay to not be okay and that reaching out for help is more than okay when you need to. And that asking for help shows so much strength and courage.
This photo reminds me of the importance of kindness and how a kind action or a kind word can and will change the course of someone else’s day and a kind action or a kind word can and will impact the course of someone’s life as well.
#kindness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #strength #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #speakyourtruth #friendship #family #memories #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth
YouAreEnough 
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