YouAreEnough

Yup, just like that, I’m back at work today after my 10 day staycation. 


Although I had some really difficult days during my time off, I was also able to find many moments of joy as well, especially while spending time with family and friends, which I was lucky to do lots of. 


I’ve never been much of a traveler.


I have an overwhelming fear of flying.


I stress over planning the journey itself, and I always need to ensure I have an agenda to go with it. 


I get anxious visiting new or unfamiliar places. I’m a chronic worrier and overthinker, so I don’t really do well in the not knowing. I need time to prepare and time to process everything.


I’m more than okay, though, seeing all the highlight reels on social media of other people’s vacations to sunny destinations. I am genuinely happy to hear all about my friends and loved one’s exciting adventures to far away places. 


But it’s not to say that if the opportunity arose where I could get away somewhere, I wouldn’t take advantage of it. I am very accustomed to doing hard stuff by now, and somehow I pull through it, a little more beaten or battered maybe, but nonetheless, I get through. 


I’ve actually been dreaming for quite some time now about taking a vacation… Alone. Somewhere. In order to get out of my own head. 


Perhaps to a deserted island or a wellness retreat somewhere in the fresh mountain air. Somewhere, I don’t need to worry I will disappoint others or feel the urge to people please. Somewhere, I can disconnect from my everyday stressors and not feel pressured to be someone I’m not.


As I try, with great resistance, to settle back into my regular daily routine today, I am finding myself daydreaming of that somewhere and getting lost in the moment. It’s a way more pleasant place to be than caught up in the stress of playing catch up on everything I’ve missed while taking my much needed break from work last week. My anxious mind doesn’t seem to want to focus on the task at hand this morning, but as I sit here, at my desk, daydreaming about that deserted island and wellness retreat in the fresh mountain air, I am allowing the soothing sounds of water flowing from my new meditative rock garden to keep me calm. It is taking my imagination somewhere else. A friend of mine at work gifted it to me just before the holidays. When she saw it, she told me that she thought of me right away. It’s just enough for me to carry on. 


And just like that, year two has officially begun.


#somewhere #mentalhealth #selfcare #mentalwellness #staycation #travel #anxiety #muchneededbreak #yeartwo #work #rockgarden #meditation #youarenotalone #youareenough #workfriends #waterfall #getaway #desertedisland #mountainair

The start of 2023 nearly broke me entirely. Last January was probably the hardest month of my entire journey to date (being taken from my home in handcuffs by 2 police officers and carted off to the hospital in the back of a police cruiser while in the midst of a mental health crisis will likely do that to somebody). Today is just another reminder of how much this time of year has become one of the most difficult for me. There is this unwritten expectation placed on the first day of January that we must reflect back on our past year in order to make the coming one all about fresh, new starts. Sometimes, though, it’s just too painful to look back.

This is why I stopped making new year’s resolutions long ago because if there is one thing I have learned while in the throes of my journey, it’s that by setting big goals at the start of any new year will only exasperate my feelings of failure and defeat. Trust me, I’m already doing that while thinking about the giant to-do list of things I didn’t accomplish in 2023, but I wanted to. For close to 10 years now, my new year’s resolutions have been all about my mental health and survival, which, for me, is more than enough. With my track record, I’ve kinda lost hope that anything else will do given that each new year tries to test me more than the last.

So, no matter what 2024 has in store for me, as this new year begins, I will focus my efforts on my neverending battle of survival with my mental health and now my physical health, too. I will continue to make therapy a priority, try to separate myself from my anxiety more, practice gratitude, celebrate my wins, only focus on connections that bring me joy, think of ways to be kinder to my body, make more time to do “nothing”, remind myself daily that my thoughts do not define me, and write, blog and journal lots. 

Please enjoy this highlight reel from some of my most tender moments of 2023 and just some of the many beautiful people I got to share them with. Thank you again for continuing to come along with me on this crazy ride and for showing me so much love and support. I really appreciate you a lot.


https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1kYZUGp_9f/?igsh=MWQ1NXE3NWV5ZDYyZA==

Peace, love, and good health to you all in 2024.

▶️ Watch this reel
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/k9W2ogz1UD3r13vS/?mibextid=xfxF2i

I’m not really quite sure where my journey is headed to next, but as I cautiously walk into the new year, I promise to look forward, one step at a time.

I wish you all love, light, and a peaceful new year ahead.

#walkinpurpose #onestepatatime #mentalhealth #youarenotalone #youareenough #happynewyear #loveandlight

Sneaking in one final #summerofrich adventure for 2023 today.

We haven’t seen the sun in over a week, but on the positive side, at least it’s been very mild, and has finally stopped raining.

Our #summerofrich adventures will always and forever be some of my most treasured and memorable moments always.

What was one of your most treasured moments of 2023?

#Niagarafalls #waterfalls #wondersoftheworld #staycation #shabbatshalom #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #nature #adventure #newyearsweekend

New hair.

New look.

But still me.

A work in progress.

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” ~ Coco Chanel

#staycation #newlook #haircut #stillme #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #selfcare #iamenough #youareenough #fourinches #changeisgoodforthesoul #cocochanel

I am now halfway through my 10 day staycation which has so far been met with an abundance of anxiety, lots of tears, restless nights, unrelenting flare-ups and a mind that won’t stop wandering to a very dark place, but, still, I have kept the promise I made to myself before the start of this much needed break that I would not let the stressors in my everyday life deter me from my goal of making time for family, friends, mental wellness, and selfcare. A promise I have kept so far even through the abundance of anxiety, tears, restless nights, unrelenting flare-ups and a mind that won’t stop wandering to a very dark place.

Work has barely entered my mind too. In all reality, in the 10 days I have off, I am only missing 3 work days, and even though I will pay for it upon my return next week, I am allowing myself to take this time off for me. I deserve it.

There has been no real agenda this week except to do a whole lot of nothing. I set no underlying expectations of what I should or shouldn’t be doing with my time off and I’ve made no plans that I felt obligated to follow through on if I just wasn’t up for it, yet I feel guilty when I’m doing nothing, and maybe that’s part of my problem, except I really haven’t been doing nothing. I’ve spent loads of time relaxing with family and friends while indulging in my mental wellness and selfcare.

So I’d say that so far I’ve had some great successes during my staycation afterall, none of which I should have anything to feel guilty about at all because like Oscar Wilde once said, “it’s awfully hard work doing nothing.” 

#staycation #doingnothing #guilt #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #family #friends #selfcare #youareenough #hardwork

Today feels like a perfect day for a check-in. 


This time of year can be really difficult for so many, especially as we begin to reflect back on our life’s journey over the past year and you are suddenly hit with this overwhelming awareness of knowing just how much has changed since then.


Whether or not you are managing grief of a loved one, feeling lonely, processing heavy emotions, dealing with an illness, not feeling supported, or struggling financially, I’m so proud of you for all you’ve made it through this year. 


Remember to be kind to yourself and others.


Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate. 


#reflection #change #difficultyear #soproudofyou #sendinglovetoallofyou #mentalhealth #checkingin #merrychristmaseve #happynewyear #bekindtoyourself #bekindtoothers #sundayselfcare 

Every time I achieve a new goal with my blogging, it motivates me to keep writing, to keep sharing, and to keep fighting. 


This week’s goal earned me bragging rights along with a spot in the top 2% of “rising creators” on my Facebook page. 


I somehow earned this title, which is now proudly displayed under my profile picture because of my authenticity in my engagements with my audience, my originality, and genuine integrity. 


Merriam-Webster has chosen “authentic” as 2023’s word of the year. It’s a word I aspire to be when it comes to my writing. More importantly, it’s how I choose to live my life according to my own values, spirit, and goals.


Being your true authentic self is a lifelong process of discovery, which begins with learning to embrace our imperfections. Being truthful and honest with ourselves. It’s living by your own needs and values and not by what others expect of you. It’s realizing your true potential and identifying who you want to be.


It’s a choice we must keep making every moment of every day of our lives. 


It’s what I plan to take with me into the year ahead. 


#braggingrights #authenticity #merriamwebster #wordoftheyear #mentalhealth #trueself #choices #imperfections #discovery #youareworthy #youareenough #values #spirit #integrity #motivation #goals #risingcreators #facebook #writing #blogging 

“I told her once I wasn’t good at anything. She told me survival is a talent.” ~ Susanna Kaysen; Girl, Interrupted


A year ago today, I started my current job, but if you want to get technical, though, I worked for this same organization in the earlier part of the 2000’s; for several years. 


When I first accepted my job offer in December of 2022, to return to a position I actually quite enjoyed some 15 years ago, I was hoping that it would not only lift some of the burden off my family but that it would also maybe help create a positive shift in my life.


I hadn’t held a full-time job for close to nine years, not since I had walked out on my last job on April 4th, 2014. It was the day my journey first began; the day my life as I once knew it changed forever. 


https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2019/04/04/april-4-2014-its-been-five-long-years/ 


I remember how anxious I felt in the days leading up to my first day of work last year. So much had changed since I had last worked here, my health being number one; I wasn’t ready. Imposter syndrome set in.


Depression hijacks your energy, it leaves you with very little motivation, has you believe that you are a failure, and makes it often difficult to complete the simplest of tasks. How was I ever going to do this when I’m constantly battling with my mind every day? 


It’s been a super challenging year for me, and the stress from my job has only added to it, but here I am, one year in, sitting at my desk, smiling through my depression. Somehow I have managed to get up early every morning for the past year in order to make it to work on time, developed many new skills, perfected some old ones, performed tasks that were beyond my realm of expertise, exceeded many goals and made some really awesome new friends who have been really great supports for me along the way.


There have been many, many tears shed and sleepless nights in the last year because of my job, but I survived year one. Being in constant survival mode has honestly become another great talent of mine. And now, how do I plan to celebrate this big accomplishment, you ask? I will be taking next week off in order to rest and regroup before I begin to tackle year 2 in the new year. I think I’ve earned my much needed break, wouldn’t you agree?


#yearone #feelingaccomplished #goals #depression #anxiety #working #depressionintheworkplace #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #workfriends #survival #suicidalideations #youarenotalone #youareworthy #youareenough

Just when I thought I couldn’t love Dr. Phil more than I already do, I watched the video he released yesterday, once again, using his platform and voice to support Israel and his Jewish Brothers and Sisters. He then turned the conversation toward some US Universities, condemning them for tolerating the antisemitism and Jewish genocide that continues to be spewed out across their campuses by their Presidents, calling for their immediate dismissals. He ended his video message by lighting candles on a Menorah in honour of the hostages. His message was both meaningful and heartfelt. 

(See video here: The end is certain to bring you to tears: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0phXLFOXVJ/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng)


Many of you reading this may remember that way, way, WAY back in June of 2019, BC (Before Covid), my kids (and Rich) surprised me on my birthday with FRONT ROW seats to an upcoming “Interactive Evening” with the one and only Dr. Phil in Niagara Falls. After the tears, I immediately started counting down the days until his arrival that November, by then with my newly published and signed copy of my children’s book in hand that I was going to personally give to him (I knew the moderator!), but, just 2 weeks before the event, Rich received an email saying that due to a scheduling conflict, it had been postponed until May of 2020. Well, we all know what happened next… 


But, still, I hung onto hope (and our tickets) that the event would be rescheduled one day. That was until several weeks ago when Rich was notified (almost 3 years later) that the event had officially been cancelled. My heart sank, but I also knew deep down that this day would come. It was the thought that counted and boy was this gift beyond thoughtful. 


I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I have no shame in telling you that until Dr. Phil ended his 20 plus years on daytime television last spring, I had my PVR set to tape his show daily and dreamt of meeting him for years, feeling as though if anyone could “fix” me, it’d be him.


I guess, though, as the saying goes; sometimes, things in life just aren’t meant to be. Sometimes, no matter how bad you want something, you just have to try and let it go. But for all you Dr. Phil fans out there, the good news is, he’ll be returning to television in February, 2024, this time in prime time!! My PVR will be set once again, and my dream of meeting him in person will once again be kept alive.


#ilovedrphil #standwithisrael #chanukah #miracles #antisemitism #bringthemhomenow #firethem #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #drphilphanatic #youarenotalone #youareenough #somethingsarentmeanttobe #holdontohope #bestpresent #lovemykids #turndarknessintolight