YouAreEnough

Today is “Giving Tuesday” which has become a recognized day of giving all across the Globe. It takes place on the first Tuesday after Black Friday and is a day for people to give back and/or volunteer for their favourite causes and Non-Profits.

“Giving Tuesday” is also the official kick-off to the holiday season, better known as the “Season of Giving”.

December is about making human connections and bringing good will and simple joy to others (what perfect timing!), so whether that includes supporting your favourite charity, cause or campaign; buying or donating a hot meal/coffee/leftovers to someone in need; letting someone know how much you appreciate them; volunteering your time by helping out an elderly neighbour or listening wholeheartedly to a friend who may be facing a challenging time right now; whatever or however you so choose to honour today and the final stretch of 2023, always remember to lead with kindness because it’s those simplest acts of kindness that can create the biggest smiles.

So be the reason someone smiles today 😊.

And of course don’t forget to keep some kindness for yourself as well; Go ahead and give yourself permission to be kind to you 😊.

#givingtuesday #kindnessisfree #agentlereminder #spreadkindness #randomactsofkindness #youareenough #selfcare #selflove #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #checkonyourlovedones #wereallinthistogether #strongertogether #bethereasonsomeonesmilestoday

“When you write the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.”~ unknown 


Six years ago now, I remember telling Rich that I wanted to start a Blog. I wasn’t quite sure where to begin, or exactly what a Blog even was, but either way, Rich, without hesitation, supported my endeavor and helped me get started right away. 


Writing for me is both a creative outlet and very therapeutic. It often helps me to declutter many of the intrusive thoughts in my mind and sort through a lot of my trauma and pain, which was just one of the many reasons for starting my Blog, but the more I kept sharing bits and pieces of my own mental health journey on my personal social media pages at the time it was quickly becoming apparent by the outpouring of kindness, gratitude and welcomed support that I had a greater purpose and needed to somehow expand my audience reach. I saw how much my writing was giving others like myself a safe space to feel like someone was listening, like someone understood them and, most importantly, that it was ok to ask for help. 


I had no idea how far reaching my Blog would actually go. But then yesterday, I received a notification on my site, congratulating me on a milestone, indicating that it had surpassed 50,000 views worldwide.


It may not seem like a big deal to some, especially to content creators who probably see 50,000 views a week on their sites, but for me, it felt purposeful. So from now on, whenever my negative self-talk grabs hold of me or I begin to doubt myself, moments like this can gently remind me that when we hold our own pen in our hand, we do have the power to make an impact on the world. 

#milestones #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #writing #blogging #gratitude #reachingout #sharingmyjourney #creativeoutlet #therapeutic #itsoktonotbeok #contributions #fiftythousandviews #socialmedia #depression #anxiety #suicideawareness 

It’s so easy to take for granted, but when you live with both a mental and physical illness like I do, it can be so hard to find joy in an ordinary day. 

This weekend I took time to just “be”. My goal, to try and leave behind the really difficult week I’d had which included an unrelenting flare up in my body that has gone on for days now. I spent time this weekend soaking in the beauty of nature during a long walk in the woods with Rich. Visiting friends who just welcomed a new puppy into their home. Reading. Catching up on some TV shows I’ve had pvr’d for weeks. Laying in bed til noon with my fur baby cuddled up beside me and having dinner with all my kids; a rarity these days.

It now feels like forever ago since our weekends solely revolved around our kid’s lives. Our calendars, for years (and years), were filled with non-stop playdates, birthday parties, hockey and baseball practices, running errands, hockey games, baseball games, tournaments, art classes, swimming lessons, skating lessons, dance classes, more hockey, more errands and the list goes on…and on. We were never ending Uber drivers, long before Uber was even a thing.

I miss all of it and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world but nowadays for me, it’s actually the mundane things I crave most. The simpler the day, the better. The uneventful days and the ones left unscheduled.

It’s the little moments that life is all about, not the grandiose ones. It’s those days which I find the most calm and joy in. It’s those ordinary days, making time for both myself and the people I love that I have learned to appreciate most over time.

“It has taken awhile, but I certainly do know it now ­­– the most wonderful gift I had, the gift I finally learned to cherish above all else, was the gift of all those perfectly ordinary days.”~ Katrina Kenison

#ordinarydays #thejoyinordinarydays #alonetime #selfcare #spendingtimewithlovedones #nature #momentslikethis #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #physicalhealth #depression #anxiety #youmatter #family #friends #be #summerofrich #thelittlethings 

After a very long and tiresome week, I did something today that actually made me feel proud of myself. 


No matter what, I always seem to find a way to belittle my wins no matter how big or small they are. 


I minimize my accomplishments.


I criticize my efforts, thinking I could’ve done better.


I devalue each baby step I take, feeling like one step is almost laughable. 


It’s bullshit though because no matter how big or small the win is, the accomplishment, the effort or the step forward, it should be worth smiling about, patting yourself on the back for, celebrating the victory and allowing yourself a moment to feel proud.


#proudmoment #feelingproud #babysteps #celebratethewins #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #mentalwellness #youarenotalone #tgif #youareenough #shabbatshalom #peace #yesididit

Last evening I went to an appointment after work. The first thing the practitioner asked me before getting started was, “Has there been any significant changes to your medical history since you were last here?”. 


While looking at my chart, the practitioner quickly added as reference, “you were last here in February of 2022”.


I paused for a moment as it registered in my mind that the last time I visited their office was just 6 weeks prior to my participation in the Psilocybin Research Trial. 


A flood of emotions came over me. 


Flashbacks to April 2, 2022 overcame my already anxious body.


I am easily triggered by everyday sights, sounds and smells, which bring me back to a certain time or place. This became one of those times.


I tried, with great difficulty, to stay composed and mustered up enough energy to just say NO. 


I’d already been having a difficult week as it was and I knew that by me saying “NO” wasn’t going to change the course of my appointment either way; and besides, where would I even begin trying to explain to this poor, unsuspecting practitioner what has actually happened to me since I last saw her. 


PTSD is very real and can be very complex. It most often occurs following a traumatic event or experience in one’s life and can be triggered by seemingly harmless situations that can send a person spiraling right back into the emotional horror of their past experience in a millisecond, which is exactly where I found myself last evening as I continue to live day in and day out with a neurological disorder that was caused by my treatment on April 2nd, 2022, a disorder which nobody seems to be able to fix, and many more not even willing to try. 


#ptsd #complex #Psilocybin #clinicaltrial #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #triggers #flashbacks #events  #youareenough #doingthebestthatican

Anxiety is challenging at the best of times, but today, it’s been super challenging for me and I just can’t seem to pinpoint one specific trigger.

I know there is lots hiding behind my subconscious mind right now and the combination of everything all at once is probably what’s making me feel this way today but still I can’t put my finger on what is causing this overwhelming sense of doom that’s been lurking around every corner since I woke up early this morning. 

It’s relentless.

I made a promise to myself though as I anxiously drove home from work this evening that I would try and go easy on myself tonight. Selfcare being key.

I thought that maybe after taking a long, hot shower and getting into a pair of cozy, warm pajamas after work would be a good place to start in helping me to find the courage and strength to fight back against my anxiety; and if that didn’t help then I would gently remind myself again that it’s ok because “courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice in your head at the end of the day saying; I will try again tomorrow.” ~ unknown 

Be proud of yourself for surviving the days you thought you couldn’t. 

#courage #cozypjs #roar #anxiety #gentlereminder #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #hotshower #selfie #tryagaintomorrow #triggers #youareenough #voicesinmyhead #subconsciousmind #doom #overwhelmed #warmblanket #mentalhealth #suicideawareness #selfcare #strength 

What the world needs now is love, sweet love…and kindness. 

Today is “World Kindness Day”. 

The world needs kindness more than ever right now so as you go about your day today inspire kindness, spread kindness and make kindness the norm. 

We can all spread kindness and love. Celebrate today by spreading that kindness and love onto someone else, and don’t forget to leave some for yourself too because a simple act of kindness can go a very long way! 

What does kindness mean to you? 

#kindness #kindnessmatters #bekind #lovesweetlove #selflove #payitforward #worldkindnessday #makekindnessthenorm #inspirekindness #selfcare #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #youareenough

Today, we celebrate and honor you, the man who does sooooo much for his family and who is my anchor and my ❤️.

I hope today and every day in between is always filled with so much love and good health and that all your wishes come true in the coming year.

You truly deserve it.
I love you to the moon and back, forever and a day,

#happybirthday #loveyoutothemoonandback #makeawish #dreamoutloud #summerofrichforever #familymatters #grateful

Today, we took to the trails for a much needed mental health break and #summerofrich adventure not too far from home. 

Tomorrow is Rich’s birthday.

The last nine birthdays he has celebrated have been spent loving someone battling Depression. One such birthday he even had to go so far as to ask my Psychiatrist during a hospital stay for special permission to sign me out of the hospital for a couple of hours so that we could go for a quick dinner nearby to celebrate. 

Loving someone with Depression is NOT easy. Being a caregiver to someone with Depression is NOT fun. You want so desperately to try and fix them, but you can’t. You feel helpless in everything you do and just pray that your words, your kind gestures, or maybe even your hugs will be enough to make everything better, but it won’t. 

Nothing they do seems to make a difference. Their words, their kind gestures, and even their warm hugs only go so far when someone is battling a debilitating illness such as Depression. 

Depression changes everything, including relationships. It builds walls around people and between them too. Rich has probably heard it all by now from outsiders looking in over the past nine years. Everything from “Man, I don’t know how you do it!”, to “You must be a real Saint!”, to my most favourite one of all, “Are you gonna leave her?” 

Yup I’ve been a burden for the last nine plus years, and that’s my honest truth. I am continually apologizing to Rich for being such a burden to him and our family, and I probably tell him ten times a week how much better off he would be if I was “gone”. 

He doesn’t see it that way, though, and just tries his best to always listen to me.

It’s not easy, nor fun. 

Loving someone with Depression takes great strength. It means constantly having to listen or bare witness to many shocking and very upsetting things that they may say or do.  

But still, Rich lets me talk. 

He’s not perfect, but who is? He’s made mistakes along the way, he feels rejected at times and he gets frustrated and angry at other times but he acknowledges my pain, he validates it and although he may not always understand it, it’s what loving someone unconditionally means. It’s often a very thankless job!

If you love someone with Depression don’t be afraid to ask them what they need most from you right now. I can assure you it’s probably just knowing that you are there, sitting beside them in that darkened tunnel, silently listening to them, allowing them to speak their truth without feeling judged or pushed and letting them know that no matter how long it takes, you will still be there waiting for them when they do find their way out of that darkened tunnel. 

I am beyond grateful knowing that I have that someone in my life. He definitely deserves to be celebrated tomorrow and every day in between. 

#lovingsomeonewithdepression #birthdayweekend #familymatters #summerofrich #mentalhealth #mentalillness #depression #anxiety #suicideawareness #yourmentalhealthmatters #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #speakyourtruth

I’m back at work this morning after taking a much needed mental health day yesterday (https://wheredidmommyssmilego.com/2023/11/01/no-more-excuses/). 


I had no real expectations about how my day would play out, I just knew I wanted a day for myself, by myself, to decompress. 


Which I did. 


But, still I managed to beat myself up for thinking I should’ve been more productive even with selfcare being top of mind throughout the whole time which even included a visit to my therapist at the end of the day.


As I said in my post yesterday, taking one day off from work for a mental health break isn’t going to unburden the significant amount of heaviness in my life right now, I’m still glad I finally did it. 


Today I am overwhelmed trying to catch up from being off one day, but I have set up my own little zen garden on my desk, next to me, to help reduce my level of stress and give me a feeling of tranquility, calmness and peace moving forward. 


#backatwork #zengarden #overwhelmed #peace #calmness #tranquility #mentalhealthbreak #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #selfcare #therapy #youareenough