YouAreEnough

We spent the evening with friends last night at their home. It’s become one of the many traditions we share together each year. A family fun holiday game night.


After dinner, we gathered on their big, comfy couch before the games portion of the evening began, watching the Leaf’s on tv, making small talk, laughing and doing what we do best when we all get together; being in the moment, and enjoying each other’s company when someone suggested we take turns telling the others what our greatest success or most accomplished memory we had in 2024.


Everyone had something amazing to share. We all cheered. I especially loved listening to some of my kid’s stand-out moments of 2024. Among them were Jacob passing his journeyman exam and officially becoming a licensed electrician this year after a 6 year apprenticeship program. Hannah pursuing a dream job, manifesting it, and eventually landing it, and Rachel, after putting off getting her driver’s license for the past 5 years, finally, more determined than ever, went for it this past summer and got it on her first try. I am so damn proud of each of them.


There were many other special moments shared amongst us as well, and just as equally awesome as the next, but when it came to my turn, I froze. I couldn’t think of anything that stood out. I admit, I am always so focused on not being good enough that it often blurs my vision of success.


2024 has been another hard year for me. Both professionally and personally. I’m still working on myself, though. I’m still figuring out how to fix the broken. Still in survival mode. But I survived. Yes, I survived another year. I’m still here, barely hanging on most days. So if all I did this year was survive, then maybe that is my greatest success or proudest accomplishment of 2024. And for me, that’s more than enough. 


#2024 #success #proudestmoments #broken #mentalhealth #wellbeing #friendswhoarefamily #traditions #gamenight 

While in line at a Tim Horton’s drive-thru earlier today, I gave space to another car to go in front of me. 

Not thinking twice about it, I drove up to the window to pay and as I reached for my wallet, the employee, with a big grin on her face handed me my drink and told me that same car had already paid for it.

I’ve been in a pretty bad headspace all weekend. Rumination has kept me in a vicious loop of negative feelings and intrusive thoughts, which, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to find my way through it, that was, until a simple exchange of kindness between 2 strangers helped me shift my focus outward.

Suddenly, I too had a big grin on my face. 

It is suggested that carrying out simple, random acts of kindness in your daily life without any expectation of reward in return can positively change your thoughts by boosting the serotonin and dopamine neurotransmitters in your brain, giving you feelings of pleasure and happiness. 

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” ~ Mark Twain 

Thank you to the stranger who brought a smile to my face today, helping me to shift my thoughts outward with her generous act of kindness. With the holiday season upon us and only a few weeks left until the new year, let’s all promise to make every day count, whether it be by paying it forward, giving back or simply putting a smile on someone else’s face. 

#actsofkindness #smile #timhortons #drivethru #generosity #makeeverydaycount #weekend #dopamine #serotonin #thoughts #feelings #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #intrusivethoughts #introspection #outwardfocus

For the past 7 years, I have dedicated my life to sharing my very personal and most intimate thoughts and feelings from my mental health journey with you. 


It has become my passion and purpose to advocate for others, raise awareness, help reduce the stigma, provide support, and promote understanding. 


In doing so, I have learned so much about myself and the importance of taking care of my mental health, but somewhere along the way due to my severe anxiety and major depressive disorders, I have forgotten how equally important it is for me to take care of my physical health too.


Physical and mental health go hand in hand. Our mind and body are so deeply connected to one another, and when one of these areas becomes compromised or off-balance, it can significantly impact the other as well, leaving serious consequences on your quality of life. Which it has for me.


Self-care is often put on the back burner, yet it is critical that we make it a non-negotiable priority for our overall well-being. I know I need to listen to my own words more often.


The past 10 years have been brutal on my mind and body, leaving both my physical and mental health severely compromised and even more so since participating in the Psilocybin Research Trial 2.5 years ago which left me with serious neurological damage as well. 


When you live with the mental health struggles that I do, you often tell yourself you are not worthy or deserving of living a healthy, normal life or maybe it’s that I just don’t want to anymore. I tell myself all the time that I am a burden to my loved ones and that the world would be much better off without me, so why bother making my health and wellbeing a priority. 


Last week, I had my first physical exam in several years. Leading up to my appointment (which took great strength and encouragement to make in the first place), I thought about cancelling it many times, making one excuse after another as to why I shouldn’t go, right up until the morning of. Those same anxieties, depressive thoughts, and suicidal ideations were getting the best of me. 


But I went. I prioritized my own self-care by attending my scheduled appointment with my doctor and promised her that I would follow through on the laundry list of tests I was behind on. I’m proud to say that this evening, I made good on one of those promises by having a mammogram, and I feel better knowing that I’ve checked this very important exam off my list.


This is your PSA, ladies. Early detection for breast cancer is key to treatment and survival, so if you’ve been putting off your exam too, make an appointment, and do it today! Your gals will thank you 😊. 


#mammogram #physicals #exams #mentalhealth #physicalhealth #breastcancerawareness  #earlydetection #advocate #anxiety #depression #passion #purpose #bodyandmind #selfcare #wellbeing #youareenough 

5 years ago today I achieved a goal I’d never dreamt possible. I had been invited to sit on a panel of a National Television Morning Talk Show; Global TV’s, “The Morning Show” during their Parenting Playbook session to discuss my recently published children’s book “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” and talk about the importance of opening up conversations with children about a loved one’s depression. 

Setting goals in life is a fundamental part of our growth, both personally and professionally. They are what drives us forward, inspires us, gives us direction, a sense of purpose, make us more productive, help us stay focused, make us accountable, and motivates us to achieve success. 

From the moment I set out on my journey to write, publish and market my book, I had a vision that included making attainable, short-term goals. This helped make the process more manageable and way less overwhelming for me by breaking down such a large, long-term goal into smaller ones.

And I’m not done yet. 

If you or someone you love is in need of some guidance and support, please feel free to message me for a copy of my book today.

#childrensbook #author #nationaltelevision #globalmorningshow #parentingplaybook #mentalhealth #Mondaymotivation #startaconversation 

I love warm weather, which is why summer is my most favorite season, hands down. It’s the time of year when I’m most active and carefree, but it is also the time of year when I become most self-conscious and self-critical of myself. 


There are too many days to count during the summer months that I find myself yearning to crawl back into the comfy, cozy warmth of sweater weather simply so I can go back to hiding my body.


It feels like sweater season happened almost overnight here in Toronto. Summer lingered well into fall, but with still more than 2 weeks to go until winter officially arrives, it has already hit the ground running. 


I’m not complaining, though I really do despise the blustering cold and shortened days of sunlight hours, I am all in when it comes to the warm embrace of a cozy sweater. There is something nostalgic and inherently comforting about it.


I’m quite conscious and very much aware that I’ve had a distorted sense of self long before my mental health journey began 10 plus years ago. I’ve feared my body ever since my late teens when I developed an eating disorder, and I’ve come to realize over time that those triggers never truly go away. They just present themselves in different ways. 


From the end of last summer, to the start of the one that most recently passed, I had lost just over 60 pounds. I should have been celebrating my accomplishment, but still, I found myself consumed by my body’s flaws all summer long, and instead of feeling proud, I simply wanted to cover up in shame and disgust. 


I’m a work in progress, and with many months still ahead of me until another summer season rolls out, I promise myself I will continue to work on my body dysmorphia issues, peeling away one comfy layer at a time and focusing more on self-love and self-acceptance, while curling up by the warmth of the fire in a cozy sweater of course. 


#bodydysphormia #sweaterweather #cozy #warmth #mentalhealth #winter #ilovesummer #selfconscious #selfcritical #selflove #acceptance #workinprogress #warmembrace #flaws #shame

#comfortfood #mentalhealth #macandcheese

Today is “Giving Tuesday” which is a movement that was created in 2012, simply as a day to encourage others to do good with a mission to build a world where both kindness and generosity are a part of our everyday lives.

Every day should be #givingtuesday.

What does the world need most right now, in one word?

#mentalhealth #giving #kindness #generosity #wellbeing #compassion

I LOOOOVE musicals. 


Last night, I got to see the new film adaptation of the Broadway hit, Wicked. In a word, it was “WIIIICKED!!!!”. Can’t wait for Part 2, Nov 21, 2025!!


Sitting still for any length of time or staying focused without my mind wandering off to some dark or anxiety provoking place due to all of my mental and physical health issues is a daily struggle for me, but despite both being very present during the entirety of the film last night (wearing my earplugs does help though), I wasn’t letting either one stop me. I watched in awe, all 2 hours and 40 minutes of it. I was completely mesmerized by its cinematography, special effects, incredible acting, choreography, and emotionally charged musical numbers. The final scene, where the most iconic song from the Broadway hit, ‘Defying Gravity’ is sung, left me breathless and in tears.


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve actually listened to the song before, but last night, with my emotions already running high, it brought with it a deeper, more symbolic meaning to that of my own journey. 


It’s a song about self-discovery and empowerment.


It’s a song about embracing your true self despite any risks involved. 


It’s a song about friendship. 


It’s a song about letting go of the past in order to find your own happiness. 


It’s a song about defying the odds, fighting injustice and stigma. 


It’s a song about feeling misunderstood. 


It’s a song about trying to prove your self-worth by defying any limitations others may have set for you. 


It’s a song about making choices and finding your courage to follow through. 


It’s a song about believing in yourself in order to achieve your dreams. 


It’s a song about being trapped on the outside of acceptance, yet still knowing that “Everyone deserves the chance to fly.”; to be free.


It’s a song for anyone and everyone who needs to hear it.


Today, I’m declaring it my new anthem. 


I’m “Defying Gravity” 


#Wicked #defyinggravity #myanthem #empowerment #selfworth #selfdiscovery #learningtofly #stigma  #Broadway #filmadaptation #musical #mentalhealth #physicalhealth #wellbeing #limitless #courage #myjourney #friendship #trueself #loopearplugs 

This is a painting my Nana made some 40 years ago. She was a fabulous artist despite the crippling arthritis in her hands.


When my brother and I were going through my mom’s things as we cleaned out her apartment a couple of weeks ago, I grabbed it right away for my keep pile. 


My Nana and I had a special bond. I was her youngest and only grand “daughter” amongst her grandchildren (although my brother shared a birthday with her, which sorta chumped that). The last vivid memory I have of her was at my “Sweet 16” party. She sadly and unexpectedly passed away a few short months later.


She lived in Ottawa and was a “Snowbird” during the winter months so we didn’t get to see each other as much as I would have liked to, especially once my family relocated from Montreal to Toronto when I was 8 years old; but somehow we made it work. I always looked forward to our time spent together and loved her intentional visits every spring upon her return from Florida when she and my Papa would make a special detour to Toronto on their way home to Ottawa; suitcases filled with new clothes for my brother and I and lots and lots of yummy treats we couldn’t get in Canada at that time. The double stuffed oreos were always my favourite. 


I think of my Nana often. I don’t take any of my cherished memories of her for granted. I only wish she could’ve seen me get married like my other grandparents had (who were also very special to me), or been able to make her a great-grandmother as I was her first grandchild to have a baby of my own. Sadly, we can’t change the past, so instead, I find comfort in being able to witness the amazing bond my own children have today with their paternal buby. The older they get, the more endearing it becomes.


A couple of months prior to my 50th birthday a few years ago I shared a heartfelt blog with you describing how I had very few pictures or memorabilia of myself or family and friends from infancy to my late teens due to circumstances beyond my control which still triggers me often and fills me with so much anger and resentment (see blog: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2021/04/15/empty-picture-frames/).


Little did I know that from that blog would emerge one of the most cherished and meaningful gifts I could have ever imagined. After reading that particular blog, my brother set out on a mission to hunt down pictures from our childhood. Along with the help of my sister in law, my nephews, Rich and my three kids they spent hours and hours exchanging emails and text messages with one another, reaching out to dear friends and family who were a big part of our childhood and formatting the layout and design together (all behind my back) in order to create a keepsake album for me from infancy to present day, 50 years later. I keep it close to my heart and look to it often as a source of comfort, especially when I am feeling most vulnerable.

Being able to add my Nana’s painting to my collection of happy memories from my childhood is such a blessing. For some reason, I have always been drawn to this particular painting of hers, but I never truly understood why until now. I now see it in a much deeper and more meaningful light than I once had as a child. I realize now that not only did my Nana pass down her creative soul to me, but could she have also played an integral role in my love of nature and ability to always see the beauty and calm in it too; long before, that is, the #summerofrich was ever a thing!


#memories #grandparents #mynana #painting #childhoodmemories #myfamily #meaningful #creativesoul #mentalhealth #pictureperfect #nature 

Last night did not disappoint. 


It was just what the doctor ordered. 


For those of you who may have missed my post last night, our kids had given Rich tickets to see comedian extraordinaire Sebastian Maniscalco for his birthday a few weeks ago. I was his plus one.


The show was last night. 

We decided to take the subway. I don’t think I’ve been on the subway in probably 20 years lol but we just didn’t want the hassle of driving and having to compete with all the road closures and chaos from the “Swiftie” fans heading downtown too. It was easy and stress-free. I may even do it again, one day! We got to the arena a couple of hours before the show was to start and walked through the crowded streets for a bit. The air was cool, but we were too focused on watching all the excited Swifties dressed in their sparkly outfits, and cowboy boots make their way to the concert to really notice. As we made our way back to the arena, we met up with a friend of mine from work and her husband for a drink inside the stadium about an hour before showtime. For me, a drink is code for diet coke!


It was the most relaxed I’d felt all week, and from the moment the opening act started (there were actually 2 openers before Sebastian took center stage), Rich and I laughed nonstop. 


“Laughter knows no boundaries – it unites us, uplifts us, and reminds us of our shared humanity.” ~ unknown


It’s what we all truly need right now.


Charlie Chaplin once said, “To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it.”


That’s exactly what I did last night. To be able to find laughter in the face of adversity or embrace it as a coping mechanism for your pain are both crucial steps in my healing process. 


It’s always a goal of mine to find moments of light-heartedness during my most challenging and darkest moments. 

Laughter is such a powerful tool for reducing stress, recharging our focus, giving us a much needed break, and renewing our spirit to face a difficult situation, so believe me when I tell you that anytime you are able to find some humour while confronting your pain, it truly can be the best medicine. 


#sebastian #comedian #laughter #bestmedicine #nightout #family #mythreereasonswhy #giftoflaughter #charliechaplin #adversity #humour #mentalhealth