Category: Moms

Let It Go

Yesterday was a good reminder for all of us just how fragile life truly is and that we should never take it for granted. Yesterday was also a reminder that no-one on this earth is invincible and that tomorrow is never promised. Today as the world mourns the loss of Kobe Bryant, his beautiful daughter Gianna and their seven friends that perished alongside them we must remember that Kobe was so much more than a basketball hero; he was a son, a husband, a father, a humanitarian and a legend.  One of his many mantras that he lived life by was “live today to inspire tomorrow” and boy did he ever live up to this in so many ways for so many people.

When I heard the news of Kobe’s passing through a text message from our son I was at, of all places, a Shiva for a friend’s father who had recently passed away at the ripe ‘ole age of 93.  For those of you who may not know what a Shiva is, it is a week-long mourning period in the Jewish faith which begins immediately following the burial. A Shiva allows for a parent, a sibling, a spouse and/or a child of the deceased to accept visitors during this period of mourning to give their condolences and to provide comfort to the mourners.

As the news began to spread feverishly around the world many people looked to find their own ways to comfort one another and find meaning from this tragic loss of life. And in that very moment, as I was surrounded by a room full of mourners I found comfort and meaning in one of Kobe’s many life messages as I suddenly found myself face to face with a grievance from my past by someone who had wronged me many years ago and who just so happened to be standing two feet in front of me!  In that moment I needed to make peace in my heart because after all, tomorrow may never come. I’ve held a lot of anger and resentment toward this individual for all these years but suddenly it felt so insignificant and unworthy.

Throughout the better part of my illness I have spent a lot of time examining and re-examining past relationships including this one and I know that in order for me to move forward I need to learn how to let go of the pieces of my past that affect my wellbeing the most because life is too short and so yesterday I took another step toward finding peace in my heart after our brief but purposeful encounter!  
#itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #kindness #lifestooshort #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #purpose #letitgo
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Across The Pond

Sold my first book across “The Pond” today! We may be complete strangers and seem worlds apart from one another but we have a bond that is bigger and stronger than any Mountain or Sea that separates us. Mental illness affects us all! Mental illness does not discriminate! 

#feelinggrateful #startaconversation #talktoyourkids  #dontsufferinsilence #itsoktonotbeok #masksoff #youarenotalone #youareenough #wheredidmommyssmilego #childrensbook #author #depression #family #children #uk #scotland #amazondotca

Reflection Of A Decade

REFLECTION OF A DECADE

It’s crazy to think about it but we are not only about to enter a whole new year but an entire new decade as well.  It’s kinda difficult right now for me to reflect back on the last decade with joy in my heart because for more than half of the last ten years I have spent it trying to survive and well truth be told, trying to die. 

I do know though that somewhere buried beneath my illness that my heart has felt a lot of pride and joy throughout the last decade from so many amazing highlights and milestones. In the past ten years we added a new addition to our family and Maggie has since filled our family with so much joy for close to nine years now. In the past ten years I’ve gotten to witness both Elementary and High School graduations galore (with one more to go in the new year!) and I have also watched all three of my children transition from pre-teens to teens and now into young adulthood as well. In the past ten years I got to plan and execute one of the greatest days of our lives with the celebration and milestone of Jacob and Hannah’s B’nai Mitzvah; a night which we were so blessed to be surrounded by so many of our loved ones.  In the past ten years we have also acknowledged and celebrated many more milestone birthdays as well including the most incredible family vacation in honour of Rachel’s 13th birthday. And I will never forget nearly ten years ago being able to experience the look on my kid’s faces when we walked through the gates of Disney World all together as a family!

Those are only a handful of the incredible highlights and milestones from the last ten years and there have been countless more but as I mentioned above it’s kinda difficult for me to feel the joy in my heart through the shattered glass of my illness when more than half of this current decade has been spent just trying to get through each day; basically I live each day in survival mode where the end goal is trying to avoid having a bad day. 

I never want to erase the incredible memories I’ve made during the last ten years and I certainly never want to forget the many successes either so as I enter into the next year and decade I will take with me what I have learned over this past year in order to make room for joy in my heart. I have learned so much about myself this past year alone and one of my greatest successes this year was being able to accept that if some days all I can do is survive, then that’s one step closer to joy. We all deserve to feel joy in our hearts and maybe I needed this past decade to teach me how.  

Wishing you all good health, joy and much success for 2020!

Please continue to follow my journey into the next decade at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com

#2020 #happynewyear #findingjoy #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #reflection #youareenough #depression #anxiety #masksoff #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #endthestigmatogether #bekindtoyourself #ichooseme

Dora The Explorer: Can You Say “Be Yourself”


We spent the last few days with our friends at their cottage. My kids have grown up here and have had so many amazing adventures and made so many equally amazing memories there both in the summer and winter months.  
All that was missing from this trip to the cottage was Jacob who thought going to Florida with some of his friends over the winter break would be way more fun; silly boy (see pic of him photoshopped in all the way from Miami Beach)! But alas we still managed to have fun without him, especially snow tubing because it’s not like he can do that in Florida lol!

Aside from the kids (and dads) going snow tubing (are they still considered kids when two of them are 17 and two of them are 20?) we cooked a big hearty breakfast one morning, made a fajita bar one night and Rachel brought her delicious homemade vegan mac and cheese with for all of us to enjoy as well. We ate, we drank, we played games, we chased after 2 tiny, adorable but very loud dogs, we ate some more, we drank some more, we built a gingerbread house, we watched old tv shows, we celebrated Chanukah, we ate again, we drank again, we curled up by the fire and we watched a movie together.

When trying to agree on a movie to watch that all of us could enjoy together I figured was going to turn into an hour long debate and we’d end up watching nothing but within minutes we had all agreed on one. It was not a movie that you would think any one of us would have wanted to see except maybe for the nostalgia of it (and I’m all about nostalgia) but we were all in the mood for something that may not require a great deal of concentration (it turned out that it kinda did but was still worth it!)
Yes “Dora (The Explorer) And The Lost City of Gold” was the winner and the nostalgia of the “kids” kinder years won all of our hearts, but what I also loved was the important message portrayed throughout the movie that led me to shout out while watching it, “I feel a blog coming on!”

Our families have blended together through thick and thin for over 17 years now and when we all get together we are like one big family. We never have to pretend to be someone we’re not when we are together, we never have to feel like we can’t be our true authentic self when we are together, we never have to wear a mask when we are together and we never have to act a certain way when we are together.

Dora showed us throughout the movie how important it is to be yourself and that being your true authentic self should never mean sacrificing who you are in order to make friends or keep them. She also taught us that we should never allow others to change who we are, that we should live life on our own terms and those who truly matter will embrace all of you, quirks and all. And she reminded us that true friendship is like a unicorn: “something that is highly desirable but difficult to find”, so when you do find it remember to hold on tight!

Please continue to follow my journey at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com 

#friendship #family #familytime #unicorns #winterbreak #masksoff #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #beyou #trueauthenticself #doratheexplorer #amigos #familia #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety 

The Morning Show

The last few months have felt like a dream come true and today was the icing on the cake! Thank you for having me on this morning to share my story @morningshowca @globalnewsto @carolynglobal @jmacspeaks #amomentlikethis #parentingplaybook #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #startaconversation

https://globalnews.ca/video/6272474/parenting-playbook-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-depression/

Book Talk

Yesterday morning I spent some time with an amazing group of moms, grandmothers, early childhood educators and about 20 adorable little tots (ranging in age between 2 and 5 years old) at a family drop in center that a friend of mine runs. I could not believe how well the children all sat so intently listening to me read my book and even while I spoke directly to the group of adults about my journey, my inspiration for writing the book and the importance for young and impressionable minds to start learning how to destigmatize mental illness; afterall “I believe that children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way” (too corny?). When I finished reading my book I felt so accepted by this group of strangers who embraced my journey, engaged in important conversations, asked lots of questions and shared their own personal struggles. So it’s probably safe to say that those 20 or so tots are well on their way to helping to end the stigma by having such incredible role models in their corner! #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youareenough #youarenotalone #endthestigmatogether #itsoktonotbeok #depression #anxiety #masksoff #children #childrensbook #ypce #aokprogram #yorkregion #familytime #playtime #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazonca

The Climb

*May be triggering* if you or someone you know are in crisis please call
1-833-456-4566 (Canada)
I’ve been battling with a lot of demons in my head this week. It’s not like it’s anything new to me as I’ve been battling with these same demons non-stop for more than 5 years now but this time they seem stronger and louder than ever. Much of the time when my suicidal thoughts come and go I’m able to shut them down or sometimes if they catch me totally off guard at the most inopportune moments I can manage to change the conversation or find a distraction, but then there are the days or even weeks like this one when that all seems near impossible and near fatal for me.
I recently came upon a quote from a poet by the name of Najwa Zebian which she wrote: “These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb”. This quote has been on my mind all week as it feels like a metaphor for the demons I am battling right now for those mountains she speaks of are my suicidal thoughts and ideations that keep weighing me down and won’t allow me to climb above.
The thought of climbing that mountain is very scary and very lonely to say the least and the burden of not being able to has become so painfully overwhelming and exhausting. I keep trying to climb the mountain but then I lose my grip and it pulls me back down at full speed like an avalanche crashing through like a herd of wild animals.
One of the best things I can do for myself when the demon’s voice becomes this overpowering is to get up and walk away from it which is what Rich helped me do today. We decided to do a #summerofrich #falledition as the warm fall air and beautiful sunshine allowed us to do.
We visited High Park. What better way to try and climb that mountain than by looking at the gorgeous fall colours, walking the endless wooded trails, stopping to take in the beauty of the calming streams and ponds, breathing in the beautiful historical gardens and landscaping and being able to be up close and personal with the wildlife that lives within the park. I may not have climbed a mountain today but I certainly climbed a lot of hills.
#itsoktonotbeok #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #mentalillness #suicide #mentalhealth #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #checkonyourlovedones #highpark #summerofrich #falledition
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Crafting

Crafting or working on creative projects is an escape for me and always has been and lucky for me it also has many health benefits for your mental wellness too. Crafting is a great way for me to relieve stress by taking a break from my chronic anxiety and depression. Crafting can build self-esteem and self-confidence when you feel a sense of accomplishment or success from your achievement.
For me, part of the crafting or creating of a project itself is the excitement of planning and executing it. It’s not just about the finished product but also about the journey of getting there as well. It’s about challenging myself, learning new skills and once completed maybe even having a new knick-knack to display!
I created this piece to remind myself everyday and for anyone else who walks into my home that “you are enough”. That you were enough before you walked through my door, that you are enough now and that you will continue to be enough after. And even though I am forever believing otherwise I now have something to remind me that I am worthy, I am valued, I am accepted, I am true, I am loved and I am purposeful because I am me and that also means that you are you. #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #mentalhealthawarenessweek #itsoktonotbeok #ichooseme #youarenotalone #bekindtoyourself #crafting #create

Can You Tell Me How To Get to Sesame Street?

Who doesn’t love Sesame Street? I mean it doesn’t get much better than Elmo, Oscar The Grouch and Big Bird now does it? Nor would they be celebrating 50 magical years on air next month if it wasn’t one of the most beloved neighborhoods for kids of all ages!
Throughout the last 50 years Sesame Street has embraced a myriad of groundbreaking storylines on their show with open arms. Each and every year they continue to tackle topics that reflect their diverse audience with only one goal in mind; education and inclusion.
These topics have ranged from racism, adoption, autism, down syndrome, divorce, being in a wheelchair, 9/11, death, a family member being incarcerated; the list is truly endless and for each topic they tackle, millions of children and their families are sitting in their living rooms, watching and feeling less alone in their own relatable struggle.
And now this week Sesame Street has done it once again by adding to their list of inclusive storylines when they recently introduced a new character by the name of Karli who begins to open up to her friends in the neighborhood about her mom’s addiction and mental health crisis. She tells her friends that her mom had to go away for treatment and that she is now in recovery and that a big part of her recovery is attending meetings every single day with people who have the same problem as her in order to help her stay healthy while being surrounded by people who understand what she is going through and learning how to take better care of herself.
The message Karli receives from her mom and her friends is one of hope and healing and it really resonated with me, bringing tears to my eyes (not that it takes much to make me cry). The message Karli receives is the same message that “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” aims to teach children which is that Mommy’s disease is not their fault, that they are not alone and that they are safe and loved.
It is also relating another very important message to their audience which is that it is never too early to start having these conversations with children because the more we open up and have honest conversations the sooner our children will understand that they are not at fault, that they are not alone and most of all that they are safe and loved. And lets not forget that the more education and inclusion we project upon young children today, the sooner we help to end the stigma around mental illness for future generations to come!
Watching Karli made me want to reach out and hug her so tight and then curl up next to her while reading “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” together. Just one quick question though before I go; “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?”
#youareenough #youarenotalone #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #addictions #opioidcrisis #epidemic #compassion #friendship #itsoktonotbeok #acceptance #startaconversation #courage #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazonca #sesamestreet #inclusion #educationiskey #childrenareourfuture #endthestigmatogether #kidsarepeopletoo #speakyourtruth #honesty #elmo #happyanniversary #cheerstofiftymore #mentalhealthawarenessweek

My Boy

He will probably kill me for posting this but what the hell, I’ve earned it; afterall I carried him for 9 mths and spent the first half of my pregnancy vomiting 10x a day and the latter half on bed rest with high blood pressure! Jacob sent me this message yesterday while in Germany for Oktoberfest and when I read the words that he wrote I became overwhelmed with emotion. Just reading his message and hearing him tell me how proud he was of me made my heart smile (and drunk or not, I’ll take it!). Knowing that I have made him proud reassures me that my kids understand that life is not always perfect, that failure is inevitable and that it’s all part of their journey. It made me see that even though there will be many challenges along the way, they can still face them with gratitude and keep going, that it’s okay to let others see their imperfections, and most of all that showing kindness or giving a compliment will go a very long way!