The first year of a baby’s life can be chaotic, stressful and simply exhausting. From the moment the baby enters the world many new moms (and dads) fear the unknown; if only they’d come with an instruction manual.

That first year is often filled with so many mixed emotions. Feelings of joy and elation can quickly be overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, loneliness, guilt and worthlessness. 

Many of the changes that a new parent faces during the first year of parenting can be especially challenging on their mental and physical health. 

While in the throes of all the chaos, stress and exhaustion we often forget how important it is to practice self-care in order to help cope with and manage our emotions better. Practicing self-care will help build much stronger connections with your baby and is the MOST important thing you can do for yourself in order to create a healthier environment for your baby to grow and thrive in.

Take one day at a time, or better yet, take one moment at a time. 

Get some fresh air; take walks. 

Nap or rest while baby is sleeping. 

Stay well nourished and hydrated. 

Write your feelings down in a journal. 

Practice relaxation and breathing exercises. 

Set healthy boundaries; learn to say no; the dirty dishes in the sink can wait, so too can the piles of unfolded laundry on the couch. 

Ask for help when you need it and talk about your overwhelm with someone who will listen and offer up support in a non-judgmental way. 

Stay connected with friends and family.

Join baby/parent groups in order to meet others who are going through similar experiences as you are.

@agentlereminderproject is here for you Mama. We have created new merch for all the moms (and dads) out there who may need a gentle reminder from time to time. Choose from..You’ve Got This Mama; You are stronger than you think Mama; Selfcare is not selfish Mama; Your mental health matters Mama; It’s okay to not be okay Mama; You are not alone Mama; Be kind to yourself Mama.

Onesies are available in a variety of colours with my signature/mantra “you are enough” on backside. 

Great gift idea. 

The word “Mama” can be swapped out for other terms of endearment (ie Dada). 

DM for purchase 

*if you are in emotional distress or in need of immediate help please text 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. Help is available 24/7*. 

#agentlereminderproject #agentlereminder #onesies #babies #youareenough #babysfirstyear #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #postpartum #youvegotthis #selfcare #yourmentalhealthmatters 

A Gentle Reminder…You Are Enough

@agentlereminderproject #agentlereminder #youareenough #throwbackthursday

Loving my new logo that my daughter Hannah created for my new Instagram account @agentlereminderproject.

Follow me there for messages of strength and inspiration.

#agentlereminderproject #agentlereminder #strength #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #purpose

I’ve spent a good chunk of my weekend fostering love and expressing gratitude. 

My new venture “a gentle reminder” which I launched a week ago has felt both purposeful and meaningful. So much of my heart has gone into making each handcrafted, one-of-a-kind orders I’ve received thus far. 

I hope that it will bring a smile to your face every time you wear yours and that it will also help make someone else’s day a little bit brighter too. 

Thank you to everyone (and especially Rich) who continue to support me on my journey. I feel truly blessed.

Attached are some of the many designs I was so honoured to create this weekend. If you would like to place an order please message me directly or email me at: youthareenough@gmail.com 

*A portion of sales are donated to youth mental health 

#agentlereminder #youareenough #blessed #grateful #yourmentalhealthmatters #youthmentalhealth #kindnessisfree #youarestrongerthanyouthink #selfcareisnotselfish #youvegotthis #bethereasonsomeonesmilestoday

Music can help to de-stress us during difficult situations, it can help lift our mood, it can help ground us and it can help take us away to another dimension. 

Music is an expression of our inner selves and deep emotions. It can be extemely mezmerizing and powerful, it can help build connections and it can help release our creativity onto the world. 

Music therapy has been around for centuries but it was only during WW1 when it was first realized just how powerful music can be to help suffering war veterans. It has since proven through many studies that people, both young and old alike, who may be battling a disability, cancer, alzheimer or a mental health disorder like depression, anxiety or PTSD are better able to express themselves when having difficulty communicating through their words to instead communicate through music.

My grandfather was a very talented musician in his time and a prime example of how music helped him to communicate and make connections with others through his music which included his own family. He performed in an Orchestra most of his life. He played the trumpet and violin. He’d practice for hours every day and whenever I heard him practicing behind closed doors I felt a sense of comfort and ease come over me. 

Several years ago my Doctor suggested that I try music therapy as a form of treatment for my depression and anxiety. Here’s the problem though; listening to music can often trigger feelings of sadness and anxiety in me. You will never catch me listening to music while I’m driving for that reason. 

However, when I’m in a really overwhelming headspace (like I’ve been all week) I find myself scrolling through my playlist or on youtube to find the most nostalgic songs to listen to or songs with the pure intention of triggering emotions in me that are sure to lead me to tears. This has ironically become a great coping mechanism for me. 

I usually start by choosing a nostalgic song which then leads to another and then another after that until my mood actually begins to lift and the tears slowly subside. Elton John probably said it best in his hit song “Sad Songs (Say So Much)” 

“Sad songs they say soooo much. So turn em on, turn em on, turn on those sad songs. When every little bit of hope is gone why don’t you tune in and turn them on.” 

Sad songs as I mentioned above can trigger some really great memories and nostalgia from my past (think of your first slow dance with your schoolboy crush) which does help boost my mood. Sad songs, which is an art all to itself can also feel deeply relatable and can give someone a sense of belonging. Sad songs often exemplify beauty, make us feel less alone, exude empathy, channel our emotions and build a sense of connection. 

I guess listening to sad songs is my musical therapy, but while driving, which is one of my most dreaded activities, is still probably not the best time or place for me to release such deep emotions. It’s more than okay though to feel sad and if listening to 10 sad songs in a row helps you release your sadness or ease some of your anxiety then go right ahead and try it! I only wish I had more performances I could listen to of my grandfather belting out his tunes on his trumpet to add to my playlist (the last time I heard him play live was at my wedding almost 27 years ago). It always brought me so much comfort. 

https://youtu.be/X23v5_K7cXk ~Elton John: Sad Songs (Say So Much)

#musicaltherapy #musictherapymonth #sadsongs #comfort #nostalgia #memories #thepowerofmusic #connections #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough

I lie awake most nights feeling as though the world would be better off without me and then awake most mornings after a very unsettled sleep, feeling guilty that I am trying my best to take care of me in order to be there for my family and loved ones.

A gentle reminder…the world needs you and self care is not selfish.

Feel free to message me to order your very own handcrafted gentle reminders today…

Part of the proceeds go to youth mental health programs.

#AGentleReminder #theworldneedsyou #selfcareisnotselfish #pillowcases #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #suicidalawareness  #yourmentalhealthmatters #ouryouthmatter

A gentle reminder 💚☘️someone is really lucky ☘️ to have you in their life 💚☘️

#stpattysday #suicideawareness #youmatter #youareenough #mentalhealth #suicideprevention #yourmentalhealthmatters #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok

I received a lovely thank you card in the mail today. It really warmed my heart.

Back in the “olden days” as our kids so lovingly call it today and what we as kids ourselves would also refer to it as when talking about our parents or grandparent’s generations too; a hand-written stamped envelope (sealed with a kiss) with a personal message of thanks tucked inside were just a given for almost any occasion. 

Without hesitation had we received a special gift, been an invited guest to someone’s home for Christmas dinner, a job interview, condolences to a friend who lost a loved one or any other momentous celebration we attended, we would send a short, personalized note as a gesture of appreciation, love or thank you. 

It seems however that this simple act of kindness has all but been lost on most of us today and the way in which we communicate nowadays has become so much more impersonal than back in the “olden days”.

This new age of technology, email, text messaging and social media that our millennials and Gen Z’s are growing up with today has basically given us all a free pass from the more meaningful sentiments we once used in order to communicate with one another. I’m just as guilty as the next person. 

Technology has made it both super convenient and super fast for anyone to relay a message to others; sadly though, it will never carry the same sentiment or thoughtfulness.

Going out, taking thoughtful consideration into choosing the perfect card that expresses exactly what you want to say and then sitting down to pen your sentiments is truly so much more meaningful. Wouldn’t you agree? 

Yup I know, we are all soooo busy with our lives these days that who has the time or energy to do all that, I mean like come on??? Lets try and keep that in mind though the next time you find yourself aimlessly surfing the Internet for hours on end looking for your next gadget or latest fad to buy on Amazon and maybe consider adding some thank-you cards to your cart! 

“Too busy is a myth. People make time for what’s important to them.” ~ Mandy Hale

What is something you miss about the “olden days” that you wish we still did today? 

#thankyoucards #appreciation #sealedwithakiss #actsofkindness #theoldendays #technologytoday #socialmedia #mandyhale #etiquette #kindgestures #amazon #mentalhealth #mentalwellness 

 

Very often a person living with a mental illness can find themselves surrounded by people who try to deny, invalidate or minimize their feelings and emotions.

It takes great strength and courage to share our very raw emotions with others, especially someone we trust implicitly; even if we know in our heart that it’s not what they may want to hear.

When we deny, invalidate or minimize someone else their feelings of sadness, grief or fear by dismissing their negative thoughts or human experiences and although it may very well be coming from a good place or be well-intentioned, responses such as “just be positive”, “stop being so negative”, “think happy thoughts”, “you don’t look sad”, “others have it worse”, “everything happens for a reason” or “just be grateful for what you have” lack a sense of empathy.

This is referred to as “Toxic Positivity”.

Yes, having a positive attitude and outlook are great but what happens when your toxic positivity denies, invalidates or minimizes someone else their feelings of sadness or fear or even their time to morn?

What will likely happen is it will cause a false sense of reassurance and lead to feelings of disconnect if the other person is unwilling or too uncomfortable to sit with you in your time of grief, your fear, your sadness or even your anger.

Sadly, and oftentimes these same people who deny, invalidate and minimize other people’s feelings with toxic positivity, whether we realize it or not are often doing the same exact thing to themselves. Trying to avoid dealing with your own negative emotions and experiences by denying them, invalidating them or minimizing them will only bury them for so long and lead to a further negative impact on your own mental health as well.

Whether we truly believe that we are comforting another person’s negative emotions or trying to suppress our own difficult feelings by overgeneralizing a situation is simply an ineffective and unhealthy approach to helping someone to feel better.

We need to learn to embrace all of our emotions and those around us too, even the negative ones. We need to learn how to support others when they share their raw emotions with us. We need to learn how to change the conversation to allow a person to feel safe and heard by asking them if they want to talk about how they are feeling; make them feel validated, let them know you are listening. 

And lastly, just as a gentle reminder… know that no matter what, it’s okay to feel sad sometimes, to grieve in your own way, to be scared or even angry; these are real emotions and don’t let anyone deny you of them, invalidate them or minimize them because it’s more than okay to always be your true authentic self. 

#toxicpositivity #validation #agentlereminder #beyourself #itsoktonotbeok #kindnessisfree #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #ourmentalhealthmatters #youarenotalone #youareenough 

“A Gentle Reminder…You’ve Got This”

Wear this handcrafted hoodie made especially for you by me! Wear it with pride and carry a message of positivity with you wherever you go and help brighten up someone’s day. Every item includes my signature/mantra “you are enough” on the left sleeve. 

Lots of gentle reminders to choose from (or create your own). See colours and sizes (youth xs to adult 5xl) available in pics. 

A portion of each sale will also be donated to help support youth mental health. 

“Maybe this journey isn’t so much about becoming anything, maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place”. ~ Paulo Coelho 

Email me at: youthareenough@gmail.com or message me on Facebook or Instagram to place your order today.

#suicideawarenesscolours #youvegotthis #agentlereminder #youareenough #mondaymotivation #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #ouryouthmatter #youthareenough #yourmentalhealthmatters