Category: healing

What’s In A Name?


While Rich and I drove through the city streets yesterday (delivering lawn signs) we passed a street named “Newman Avenue” and it suddenly dawned on me that I’ve now been a “Fluxgold” longer than I was a “Newman”.  

When we first got married 25 years ago I never hesitated or even gave it a second thought that I would legally change my last name to Fluxgold, I mean it definitely had a lot more flair and originality to it than “Newman” did so why the heck not and by 1995 when I got married, I was seriously pretty tired of being the butt of so many very unoriginal Seinfeld jokes anyways!!! #heynewman

But please don’t get me wrong, I will always be grateful for the amazing memories my maiden name has given me, it will forever be a part of who I used to be and has continued to be a guide as to what I don’t want to be and it’s definitely a reminder of a much simpler time in my life, you know, the time when I rarely had to correct someone who may have misspelled or mispronounced my last name!

Have you ever truly asked yourself before; What’s in a name? If I could just quote Juliet from “Romeo & Juliet” for a moment here (wow that’s a statement I never thought I’d write) when she says “that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” 

This quote from Shakespeare tells us that a name doesn’t truly matter nor does it truly affect what or who you really are and besides all that, haven’t we always been taught from a very young age anyhow that what’s truly most important, what truly matters or what truly counts most in life is what’s on the inside and when you reference my profile page on Facebook I think you can find the answer. (See pic)

#whatsinaname #choosekindness #familymatters #myfamily #anameisjustaname #youareenough #itswhatsinsidethatcounts #shakespeare #romeoandjuliet #newman #seinfeld #mentalhealth #mentalwellness 

Will The Cravings Ever Stop?

It’s been a hundred and thirty something days since I’ve had a cigarette, not a hundred and thirty something days since I’ve desired a cigarette but a hundred and thirty something days since I last smoked one. There are many days (and nights) that go by now where I barely even think about smoking anymore but the days that I do are fucking hell and last night was probably the worst I’ve experienced, even more so than the first few days after I quit back in January. You all remember January; that cold, dark, dreary month of the year that we all wish we could go back in time to right now. Boy what I’d give to go back there now in a heartbeat, with my concussion and all!

Last night I had a panic attack which only exasperated the exhaustion and overwhelm I was already experiencing and I suddenly felt like a junkie who would do just about anything to get their next “fix”. If you have ever suffered with an addiction of any kind before (drug, alcohol, gambling etc) you can relate to how out of control I felt from my “need” to smoke NOW. I begged Rich to get me a pack of cigarettes and I began envisioning myself sitting on my front porch enjoying the beautiful spring air and thinking that having just 1 cigarette wouldn’t be a big deal at all. 

It’s nights like this that have me thinking I will never be free of cigarettes. But then again is there really a specific timeline as to how long it should take a smoker of over 30 years to fully stop having the desire to smoke?

#iquit #smokefree #youareenough #panicattack #anxiety #depression #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #ahundredandthirtysomethingdays #nonsmoker #cravings 

A Mitzvah

I have a really hard time accepting help from others, that is everyone except for maybe Rich. What does that exactly mean though; well it means that if I allow someone to help me or do something nice for me then that would mean that I’m weak and incapable of doing it myself, right? And wouldn’t it also mean that I’m a failure too?

I know that most people only offer their help without any ulterior motives in mind and that for every 1 person whose willingness to help others may have ill intentions in mind I also know that there are ten more people who are wanting to show their support or lend a helping hand because they genuinely want to help and it actually gives them great joy when doing so.

In the Jewish faith this would be considered a “Mitzvah” or in the English translation it is considered to be a “good deed” to help someone with a conscious act or emphasis on kindness and empathy.

Throughout my journey I have had no shortage of kindness and empathy or heartfelt sentiments being offered up to me and my family at any given time but it’s always hard for me to let others help me and most of the time I honestly can’t even explain the reason why. 

I know my illness has a lot to do with it as I am constantly telling myself that I’m weak, I’m incapable, I’m a failure, I’m unworthy, I’m undeserving and I’m useless. I feel as though I have no control over my life whatsoever and then to allow others to help me feels like I am giving up complete control all together and making me feel even more vulnerable. Oh and my favourite of course is the guilty feeling I get when someone does something kind for me. 

Over the last few weeks and even more so this week I have recieved an abundance of kindness from loved ones, acquaintances and even strangers, offering to help me in whatever capacity they can with my Initiative. Maybe now would be the perfect time for me to embrace the moment and give others the opportunity to feel the same way I feel every time I brighten up a young person’s day!!

#mitzvah #kindness #kindnessmatters #empathy #joy #helpinghands #youareenough #noshame #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone 

Should The #Summerofrich Be Cancelled Too?


It was yet another difficult week in our home last week when reality smacked us right in the face once again with the news that our girls would not be going away to camp this summer. And even though it too didn’t come as any big surprise for us, we had all just been trying to hold on to whatever little bit of hope we had left in order to somehow try and save part of their summer (and ours!).

With the girls now not going to camp this summer also meant that there would be no official #summerofrich either. For those of you who have been following my journey for some time now already know what the #summerofrich is (and many seem to really enjoy following it too lol) but for those of you who don’t know or who may have forgotten or who truly don’t give a rat’s ass about the #summerofrich I will tell you about it anyways. 

Rich (like many other loving parents) begins to countdown as to how many days are left until the kids leave for camp the next summer; from the moment they return home from the summer before (don’t even dare try to deny that you aren’t one of those parents too lol). 

Yes of course he loves his kids but he also needs the break, he also deserves the break and he has also earned the break. It’s not like our kids are toddlers or such anymore who need constant supervision but for Rich, summertime has become a much needed, much deserved and very much earned mental break.

For six years now Rich has had to take on both the roles of mom and dad along with the cook, the maid, the chauffeur, the psychologist, the schlepper and countless other roles too and so when the kids leave for camp (even if it’s only 2 now instead of all 3) for 7 to 8 weeks a summer it has become his time to destress, push the reset button, take a step back and try to relax somewhat. 

As I said above it’s not like our kids are toddlers anymore or need constant supervision that we can’t still try and make the best of the #summerofrich 2020 with a revised edition (we probably won’t be getting our annual summer “husband and wife pedicures” any time soon or taking walks along the beach either). 

So here’s a sneak peak at what the revised edition of the #summerofrich and Camp Fluxgold may look like (see pics). All that is still missing is a fire pit to make s’mores and sing songs around with friends and family in arms reach!

#ichooseme #youarenotalone #selfcare #summertime #poolside #relaxation #hiking #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #takecareofeachother #strongertogether #family #friendship #campismentalwellness #swimtime #firepit #newpool #everyoneneedsarich #everyoneintothepool

A Lovely Stranger

On our way home from delivering some lawn signs this afternoon throughout the Brampton, Mississauga, Oakville, Milton and Burlington area Rich and I happened upon a Trail that we probably would have otherwise never knew existed. 

We decided to park our car and go explore the trail for a bit and try to enjoy some of the sunshine and warmth of the beautiful spring day (finally!). 

Something (or maybe someone) pulled us to the direction of this Trail today because while walking down the path we came upon this note (see pics) that was left purposefully on the ground next to some painted rocks. I bent down and read the note (don’t worry I didn’t touch it!) and then snapped a picture of it to hold on to because some “lovely stranger” left me a message today of hope and kindness and now I want to pass it along to you. XOXO 

#kindness #payitforward #ineededthistoday #kindnessmatters #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #summerofrich #summerofus #nature #babygeese #spiritualhealing #passiton #nature

Lend An Ear


It’s okay to admit that you desire comfort in your life and I’m pretty sure that right now most of us are in dire need of some extra comfort. 

Whether we need to be soothed or consoled or reassured; being comforted by someone can help lessen our sadness, our distress and our sorrow. 

Yes we all have a desire for comfort in our life which can bring about feelings of contentment, feelings of relief and feelings of warmth. And even if comfort may look different to each one of us, just knowing that you have someone nearby who can lend an ear to you is definitely a great place to start. 

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #itsoktonotbeok #advocate #depression #anxiety  #mentalillness #suicide #youarenotalone #youareenough #noshame #comfort #comfortzone #maggie #checkonyourlovedones #lendanear #leanonme #togetherapart 

Who’s Counting?

It’s been 4 Months, 121 Days, 2,907 Hours, 174,240 Minutes and 10,454,400 Seconds (give or take!) since I smoked my last cigarette; but who’s counting? 🚬🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🙋‍♀️

#thelongestfourmonthsever #concussion #quitsmoking #coldturkey #smokefree #covid19 #coronavirus #mentalhealth #physicalhealth #youareenough #istillcraveiteveryday #holdingmyselfaccountable

Be A Voice, Not An Echo


I love my new decorative piece that I now display in my home as an important reminder to me. It’s original quote by Albert Einstein can be left up to the interpretation of each individual who reads his words; it truly depends on how you need to interpret them. 

Finding my voice has been a daily struggle for me for six years now because to me finding my voice has meant being able to step outside of my comfort zone, it’s meant finding a way to be courageous and brave, it’s meant finding a way to make a difference in someone’s life, it’s meant finding a way to be open and honest, it’s meant finding a way to challenge myself, it’s meant finding my own path and it’s meant finding my purpose. 

Since I began writing my blog close to four years ago now and sharing my journey with the world I have slowly begun to uncover parts of my voice and ignite my passion with openness and honesty. I never felt brave or courageous enough to have my own voice before, especially as a child and young adult, and it always felt safest to just stay within my comfort zone. 

Over the last 3 plus years I have spent much of my time trying to find a way to step outside of that comfort zone in order to challenge myself, in order to find my own path (even if it may be a bit off course) and in order to find my purpose. 

Maybe I’m just like Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz”, maybe I’ve had the power all of my life and didn’t even know it. Maybe my illness has given me the strength to be a voice to help make a difference in someone else’s life and to give others who may need it most, the courage to “echo” my words and actions while they too discover their own voice. 

#letsendthestigmatogether #youareenough #youarenotalone #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #mentalillness #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #masksoff #suicide #beavoice #itsoktonotbeok @soloparatigifts

Today is National Child & Youth Mental Health Day

Today is National Child & Youth Mental Health Day and what better time than right in the midst of a Pandemic to bring awareness to and acknowledgment of the thousands of young people and families who are in need of mental health support more than ever before. 

Statistics show (in Canada) that almost 40 to 50 percent of all visits made to the Pediatrician’s office are due to mental health issues and that Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 10 to 24 year olds. And lastly 70 percent of all mental health challenges usually begin around childhood and adolescence. My greatest fear right now is seeing those statistics soar even more than they already have in the coming months or years because of our current crisis.

These statistics are proof that we still have plenty of work ahead of us and that we desperately need to build caring and emotional connections with our young people to help them through their worries and fears, help them stay positive and hopeful during this time and beyond and help ensure that both their bodies and minds stay healthy too.

I have spoken to so many parents over the last several years regarding our children and mental health in general. These conversations are so important to have because they reassure us that we are not alone and over the last couple of weeks since I began working on my initiative to honour our “Class of 2020” Graduates it’s very clear that we truly are not alone in this fight.

Our kid’s are having to deal with stuff right now that is beyond our comprehension as parents and caregivers. They have lost so much (like beyond our comprehension) and we as parents need to keep an open dialogue and ensure that our kids know that when they are feeling anxious or scared or lonely or angry or frustrated that it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to have these feelings and we need to let them have these feelings and that even the most resilient kids are going to sometimes feel anxious or lonely or scared or angry or frustrated too and we need to keep an even closer eye on them!

But the more ways we can find to build those caring and emotional connections with our kids right now could really help make a difference in their lives while in quarantine. Simple acts of kindness or even our body language can go a very long way to putting a smile on a child’s face (no matter their age). 

Try making them a favorite meal, pull out the old photo albums from when they were babies, make a Tik Tok video together, read them an extra long story at bedtime, make a fort in the living room with them and let them sleep in it, play a board game or do a puzzle together and of course hug them tight. 

I have received a number of messages over the past couple of days from parents thanking me for helping to put a smile on their “Class of 2020” Graduate’s face and it warms my heart knowing that we can all make a child smile by building caring and emotional connections.

How many ways can you make your child smile today?

#icareaboutyou #may7icare #icare #childandyouthmentalhealthday #mentalhealthweek #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #youareenough #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #startaconversation #staysafe #masksoff #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca 

We’re All In Different Boats


Even though we may all be weathering the same storm together does not mean that we are doing so from the same boat. Some of us may feel like a castaway on a deserted island with a broken raft and no paddle to steer us home while others may feel like they are peacefully sailing through a remote Tropical Island in a big Yacht straight out of “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous”.

Some of us are enjoying this time to slowly paddle our boat on a private lake and breathe in the fresh air and see our reflection on the water and actually like what we see, but for many more of us we may just be trying to brave the heavy waves on the ocean without capsizing our boat and praying we don’t fall into the shark pit below.

For many of us we are all alone in our boat, and the murky water surrounding us feels empty and the skies above us are dark and then you suddenly look across the way from you and through the fog you can see another boat in the distance filled with the love of a family, singing and dancing without a cloud in the sky above them.

For many of us right now we don’t have the means to fix the holes in our boat and it feels like we are sinking very fast without having a life preserver to keep our head above the water while others are still able to put their feet up on deck and use this time to map out their next adventure, a relaxing sail around the world. And then there are those who have no time to dock their motorboat right now because they are too busy working to help the rest of us try and stay afloat.

Yes we are all in different boats and sailing on very different journeys but we still share the same land and water which is why now would be the perfect time for all of us to anchor our boats next to one another (6 feet apart of course), not so we can compare them, not so we can judge them but so we can unite together as we weather the storm. 

#bekind #weatherthestorm #youareenough #wereallinthistogether #strongertogether #kindnessiskey  ##mentalhealthawarenessmonth #covid19 #selfcare #virtualhugs #checkonyourlovedones