Category: children

Dora The Explorer: Can You Say “Be Yourself”


We spent the last few days with our friends at their cottage. My kids have grown up here and have had so many amazing adventures and made so many equally amazing memories there both in the summer and winter months.  
All that was missing from this trip to the cottage was Jacob who thought going to Florida with some of his friends over the winter break would be way more fun; silly boy (see pic of him photoshopped in all the way from Miami Beach)! But alas we still managed to have fun without him, especially snow tubing because it’s not like he can do that in Florida lol!

Aside from the kids (and dads) going snow tubing (are they still considered kids when two of them are 17 and two of them are 20?) we cooked a big hearty breakfast one morning, made a fajita bar one night and Rachel brought her delicious homemade vegan mac and cheese with for all of us to enjoy as well. We ate, we drank, we played games, we chased after 2 tiny, adorable but very loud dogs, we ate some more, we drank some more, we built a gingerbread house, we watched old tv shows, we celebrated Chanukah, we ate again, we drank again, we curled up by the fire and we watched a movie together.

When trying to agree on a movie to watch that all of us could enjoy together I figured was going to turn into an hour long debate and we’d end up watching nothing but within minutes we had all agreed on one. It was not a movie that you would think any one of us would have wanted to see except maybe for the nostalgia of it (and I’m all about nostalgia) but we were all in the mood for something that may not require a great deal of concentration (it turned out that it kinda did but was still worth it!)
Yes “Dora (The Explorer) And The Lost City of Gold” was the winner and the nostalgia of the “kids” kinder years won all of our hearts, but what I also loved was the important message portrayed throughout the movie that led me to shout out while watching it, “I feel a blog coming on!”

Our families have blended together through thick and thin for over 17 years now and when we all get together we are like one big family. We never have to pretend to be someone we’re not when we are together, we never have to feel like we can’t be our true authentic self when we are together, we never have to wear a mask when we are together and we never have to act a certain way when we are together.

Dora showed us throughout the movie how important it is to be yourself and that being your true authentic self should never mean sacrificing who you are in order to make friends or keep them. She also taught us that we should never allow others to change who we are, that we should live life on our own terms and those who truly matter will embrace all of you, quirks and all. And she reminded us that true friendship is like a unicorn: “something that is highly desirable but difficult to find”, so when you do find it remember to hold on tight!

Please continue to follow my journey at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com 

#friendship #family #familytime #unicorns #winterbreak #masksoff #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #beyou #trueauthenticself #doratheexplorer #amigos #familia #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety 

The Morning Show

The last few months have felt like a dream come true and today was the icing on the cake! Thank you for having me on this morning to share my story @morningshowca @globalnewsto @carolynglobal @jmacspeaks #amomentlikethis #parentingplaybook #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #startaconversation

https://globalnews.ca/video/6272474/parenting-playbook-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-depression/

Book Talk

Yesterday morning I spent some time with an amazing group of moms, grandmothers, early childhood educators and about 20 adorable little tots (ranging in age between 2 and 5 years old) at a family drop in center that a friend of mine runs. I could not believe how well the children all sat so intently listening to me read my book and even while I spoke directly to the group of adults about my journey, my inspiration for writing the book and the importance for young and impressionable minds to start learning how to destigmatize mental illness; afterall “I believe that children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way” (too corny?). When I finished reading my book I felt so accepted by this group of strangers who embraced my journey, engaged in important conversations, asked lots of questions and shared their own personal struggles. So it’s probably safe to say that those 20 or so tots are well on their way to helping to end the stigma by having such incredible role models in their corner! #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youareenough #youarenotalone #endthestigmatogether #itsoktonotbeok #depression #anxiety #masksoff #children #childrensbook #ypce #aokprogram #yorkregion #familytime #playtime #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazonca

Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss

Since publishing my book I have been embraced with the most incredible, encouraging and positive accolades. I’ve had people tell me how brave I was for writing my book, how helpful a resource it is for parents, teachers and children alike, how important a conversation I’ve started, how much the book speaks to them and countless other thank you’s. But this weekend I was quickly reminded just how much work is still left to be done in order to end the stigma surrounding mental illness.

Today I spent part of my day at a local library engaging in many important conversations about my book and Mental Health in general and then it happened, not once but twice. First an elderly gentleman in his 70’s approached me and wanted to have a peek at my book. He stood reading it as I continued my conversation with someone else. When he finished looking at it he interrupted my conversation to tell me that using the word Depression in a children’s book is wrong and inappropriate. He continued to say that I should have described mom as sad instead. I began to explain to the gentleman in terms that his ignorant mind could understand what the difference between sadness and depression are and thanked him for reminding me why I continue to fight to end the stigma. The woman whom I had been speaking with at the time cheered me on from the sidelines.

But sadly only moments later I found myself all alone and having to answer to similar criticism or as I like to put it, ignorance. This time a gentleman with two young boys ages 5 and 7 came up to me. His accent at first was quite difficult for me to comprehend him but trust me I heard his message loud and clear. He asked me if I was familiar with the children’s book series “Captain Underpants” and other similar books and then proceeded to tell me that children should only be allowed to read funny books like “Captain Underpants”.

Everyone is welcome to have their own opinions and I will never judge someone because we don’t share the same opinion, heck isn’t that what makes the world go round? But today left me feeling quite sad, quite angry and quite shook up by these two conversations in particular. They have left me in an even more vulnerable state than I’ve already been in recently. I know that my book may not be for everyone and that’s okay but today I feel defeated and left doubting myself just a little bit more and I don’t really know why I am even giving up space in my head for these two individuals when I should probably have held up a sign telling them SORRY, NO VACANCY! And then maybe said a little prayer for their families…

#endthestigmatogether #youareenough #startaconversation #itsoktonotbeok #timeforchange #youareenough #thisisreallife #ignoranceisbliss #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #wheredidmommyssmilego

Learning To Survive – Empowering Children

LEARNING TO SURVIVE – EMPOWERING CHILDREN

Today was very overwhelming and undeniably emotional for me but today was above all, empowering. Listening to a panel of experts speak along with several young adults from the community share their stories about resilience and their mental health journeys felt empowering. Seeing an audience of several hundred people come together for one common purpose and with one common goal in mind was truly empowering.

Today I met some fucking incredible people and I learned many valuable tools and many more staggering statistics. I also learned that life is not all about winning, but more importantly it’s about learning to survive that matters. The symposium focused on how we as a society can help to empower our children and youth today as these statistics continue to rise and what we can do to help make this happen both at home and in the classroom.

There is a lot of debate about how early is too early to talk about mental health at home or in school and I could see today that everyone in attendance was in agreeance that we need to start talking about it from as early on as Pre-K. I certainly can’t argue with that and I have even written a children’s book now to prove it.

It’s not that anyone is asking teachers of young children to stand up in front of their class and start giving a powerpoint lecture on the psychology of the human brain, instead it’s about introducing ways for them to understand that they have mental health. It’s about teaching children the “culture of caring” by checking in on students regularly to ensure that they are okay, giving a friendly hello or high five as they pass them in the hall at lunchtime, it’s about finding a connection between each student and their teacher and it’s about making them feel safe so they can share their thoughts and feelings.

Starting to engage children more in mental health and wellness practices at a young age in school can be easily done through art, through music, through sport, through drama and through physical fitness as well. It may mean putting aside a geometry lesson for today in order to practice some mindfulness exercises or spending a bit more time on an art project which could give them better coping strategies, allow them to express their feelings better or help them to build better communication skills.

These activities and lessons should be front and centre in our school curriculums today and to be just as much of a priority as math and english are and I don’t just mean in Pre-K, but all throughout their formative years. Teachers are not meant to be therapists but by practicing many of these skill sets with their students will make them a better role model to their students and help more children thrive, help more children to erase the stigma for the next generation, help more students to become better equipped to understand that it’s ok to fail; in fact it’s imperative that they do so many, many times and hopefully this will help more of our youth and young adults left feeling more empowered than ever before.

Zero Tolerance- Bullying Is Never Okay

Ever since the news broke last week that a young boy’s life was brutally cut short by a senseless act of bullying, I have not been able to stop thinking about it. We’ve all heard stories of bullying, some of us have been witness to it and many of us have fallen victim to it.

Bullying can affect everyone, starting from the bully himself (herself), to those who witness the act and especially to those who are being bullied. Bullying is defined as “a conscious, willful, deliberate repeated and hostile activity marked by an imbalance of power, intent to harm and/or threat of aggression” and the impact from such behaviors often lead to severe mental health issues, substance abuse, academic problems, suicide and last week it led to murder in a school yard as this poor boy’s mother watched in horror.

Devan Bracci-Selvey was among many students who had fallen victim to bullying by several other students at his high school since the start of the new year and they along with their families and friends had been begging for help from both the school’s administration and the police force since early September. So much for zero tolerance policies in schools??

I’m not gonna sit here and pass judgment as to whether or not I believe that the school board in his district and/or their police force failed to properly protect Devan and his friends from harm (another child transferred to a new school just a week or two prior to this incident), I’m certainly not gonna sit here and tell you that through the ongoing investigation I hope to see many of the individuals involved fired from their jobs for their lack of empathy and support and I’m definitely not gonna sit here and argue about how pathetic our criminal justice system for youth is and how these murderers should be named and tried as adults but instead I am just gonna honour Devan’s memory.

Whether it’s physical, emotional, verbal or cyber bullying, it is not okay, in fact bullying is NEVER okay. Bullying can happen to your child while they are at school, while they are on the playground, while they are walking in their neighbourhood and even while they are in their safe place, lying in bed and chatting with friends online.

Bullies don’t necessarily discriminate either, anyone can be a target of bullying which is why it is so important for parents, caregivers, educators and friends alike to watch for signs that this could be going on, that is of course unless you are lucky enough to have a child who will come to you first.

But sadly, many children don’t and for whatever their reason, it’s likely that they feel too ashamed or intimidated to ask for help and in turn begin to suffer with severe mental health issues, substance abuse, academic problems and in many cases, they turn to suicide.

Devan and his friends did all things right; they asked for help from trusted adults, they tried to avoid their bullies, they stood up for one another and they leaned on one another for comfort, right up until the very end and now those left behind will be leaning on one another even more. RIP DEVAN

#stopbullying #showkindness #checkonyourlovedones #bullyingisneverokay #zerotolerance #lookoutforeachother #seesomething #saysomething #mentalhealth #suicide #knowthesigns

#youarenotalone #startaconversation #youareenough

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Can You Tell Me How To Get to Sesame Street?

Who doesn’t love Sesame Street? I mean it doesn’t get much better than Elmo, Oscar The Grouch and Big Bird now does it? Nor would they be celebrating 50 magical years on air next month if it wasn’t one of the most beloved neighborhoods for kids of all ages!
Throughout the last 50 years Sesame Street has embraced a myriad of groundbreaking storylines on their show with open arms. Each and every year they continue to tackle topics that reflect their diverse audience with only one goal in mind; education and inclusion.
These topics have ranged from racism, adoption, autism, down syndrome, divorce, being in a wheelchair, 9/11, death, a family member being incarcerated; the list is truly endless and for each topic they tackle, millions of children and their families are sitting in their living rooms, watching and feeling less alone in their own relatable struggle.
And now this week Sesame Street has done it once again by adding to their list of inclusive storylines when they recently introduced a new character by the name of Karli who begins to open up to her friends in the neighborhood about her mom’s addiction and mental health crisis. She tells her friends that her mom had to go away for treatment and that she is now in recovery and that a big part of her recovery is attending meetings every single day with people who have the same problem as her in order to help her stay healthy while being surrounded by people who understand what she is going through and learning how to take better care of herself.
The message Karli receives from her mom and her friends is one of hope and healing and it really resonated with me, bringing tears to my eyes (not that it takes much to make me cry). The message Karli receives is the same message that “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” aims to teach children which is that Mommy’s disease is not their fault, that they are not alone and that they are safe and loved.
It is also relating another very important message to their audience which is that it is never too early to start having these conversations with children because the more we open up and have honest conversations the sooner our children will understand that they are not at fault, that they are not alone and most of all that they are safe and loved. And lets not forget that the more education and inclusion we project upon young children today, the sooner we help to end the stigma around mental illness for future generations to come!
Watching Karli made me want to reach out and hug her so tight and then curl up next to her while reading “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?” together. Just one quick question though before I go; “Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?”
#youareenough #youarenotalone #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #addictions #opioidcrisis #epidemic #compassion #friendship #itsoktonotbeok #acceptance #startaconversation #courage #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazonca #sesamestreet #inclusion #educationiskey #childrenareourfuture #endthestigmatogether #kidsarepeopletoo #speakyourtruth #honesty #elmo #happyanniversary #cheerstofiftymore #mentalhealthawarenessweek

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week. It was first established in 1990 and takes place each year during the first full week of October (Oct 6 to 12, 2019) to help educate and increase awareness about mental illness by focusing on community outreach and public education.

As most of you know, I have made it my mission over the last few years to help spread as much awareness as I can and to help educate as many individuals in my community (and beyond) as I can which would not be at all possible without the incredible love and support that surrounds me each and every day. It’s days like today that really help remind me that I am not alone and it’s days like today that really help remind me that no matter what, it’s okay not to be okay when you have the right people in your corner.

Today we, as a family spent the afternoon together, outside in the crisp fall air (a very rare occasion these days) but the cherry on top was also spending it with some good friends; friends who have become like family. Friends who we met by chance 17 years ago (this week!) when both our youngest babies were just days old and friends who have been in that

corner ever since.

corner ever since.

Friendships like this are hard to find; you know the ones that I’m talking about, the ones that you can call on at any time of day (or night) when you need to, the ones that are there for you when you’re feeling down or when you just need a good laugh. Friendships of this magnitude can enrich our lives and well-being but what happens when one part of that friendship is struggling with depression?

Depression can make even the strongest of friendships quite challenging, trust me, I know. I know this because I am that friend with depression and I know that not everyone is up for the challenge. I get how hard it must be sometimes to listen to someone always talking so negatively about herself (himself) or to know just what to say to them or how to even help, but just knowing someone is in your corner means that you always have someone there who brings you comfort, who encourages you, who allows you to share with them openly and honestly, who forgives you and who supports you through both the good days and bad.

Take a moment to pause here and ask yourself; who’s in your corner? I hope when you release that pause you see that your corner is overflowing just like mine is!

#friends #family #memories #support #itsoktonotbeok #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawarness #mycorner #mentalwellness #applepicking #fall #wheredidmommyssmilego

My Boy

He will probably kill me for posting this but what the hell, I’ve earned it; afterall I carried him for 9 mths and spent the first half of my pregnancy vomiting 10x a day and the latter half on bed rest with high blood pressure! Jacob sent me this message yesterday while in Germany for Oktoberfest and when I read the words that he wrote I became overwhelmed with emotion. Just reading his message and hearing him tell me how proud he was of me made my heart smile (and drunk or not, I’ll take it!). Knowing that I have made him proud reassures me that my kids understand that life is not always perfect, that failure is inevitable and that it’s all part of their journey. It made me see that even though there will be many challenges along the way, they can still face them with gratitude and keep going, that it’s okay to let others see their imperfections, and most of all that showing kindness or giving a compliment will go a very long way!

My Love

I want to share Rich’s heartfelt words he spoke the other night at my book launch with you. He is the strongest human being I know. He defines the true meaning of unconditional love and what a husband and father should be. I love you to the moon and back forever and a day! #endthestigmatogether #youareenough #kindness #noshame #courage #itsoktonotbeok #truelove #unconditional #family #dad #husband #summerofrich

Good Evening

As most of you know I am by no means the writer in our home and my press secretary has been busy working on her own speech all week, so here goes nothing!!
I first met Kim when she was just 18 years young and she began working at the video store I was managing in Thornhill. She caught my eye right away but unfortunately there were MANY challenges standing in our way. Besides the fact that she had a boyfriend at the time and I was busy fending off some lovestruck sociopath, I was now her boss as well, but those didn’t even come close to the biggest challenge we were facing. Ya see, I was close to 9 years older than her (8 years, 7 months and 16 days to be exact). And now that I have 2 daughters of my own who are in and around that same age I can TOTALLY see that challenge from a very different perspective!
But with a combination of male ego, unyielding determination, mixed in with a spoonful of testosterone sometimes you just have to say Screw It and ignore what the haters may think or say and just go for it! By now Kim was just shy of her 20th birthday and had this been in some medievel time she would have likely been considered an old maid already so I saw this as my golden opportunity. But I am still waiting for that dowry!
We recently celebrated 24 years of marriage this past spring and have 3 beautiful kids to show for it, one of whom is busy drinking his way through Europe with some friends as I speak. And like in every marriage or as every parent can attest to there will always be challenging times along the journey which for us surfaced 5 and a half years ago when Kim first took ill.
I have known Kim now for 30 years and have watched her grow and change in so many ways but one thing that has never changed in all the years I have known her is that she has the kindest heart, and she has so much determination and so much will. I know that Kim no longer sees these incredible attributes within herself because of what depression has taken from her but lucky for her there are so many people in her life who love her enough to ensure that she can see what an incredible person she truly is.
I am so proud of you Kim. Jacob, Hannah and Rachel are so damn proud of you too. You may not see what we all see in you but I will keep reminding you of it every single day for the rest of our lives. You may not see that what you do for so many people by writing your blog and opening up to the world about what it truly feels like to battle with major (and treatment resistant) depression and SEVERE anxiety and panic every single day. You may not see how your vulnerability and honesty has helped so many others feel less alone and you may still not be able to call yourself an author and believe it to be true but you are an author, I mean City TV interviewed you for the six o’clock news last night if that isn’t proof enough! But you know why you are an author…because you had a vision, because you have such a creative soul, because you are so kindhearted and because you have such an unyielding determination and innate will to help others. You have accomplished more than so many others because of all that. You have made your dream come true even through the darkest days of your life. You have found your purpose.
Look around the room tonight Kim and see all the love surrounding you, they aren’t just here for the free food and drinks! They are here to celebrate you!
Jacob Hannah Rachel and we can’t forget Maggie (our dog) and I love you to the moon and back! And now without further ado…let me introduce to you, my beautiful wife and best friend.. children’s author Kim Fluxgold!