Family is not a game for which we keep score; family should be treasured.
#crossword #scrabble #crafting #connection #shadowbox #ilovecrafting #therapy #therapeutic #familymatters #blessed #youarenotalone #youareenough #iloveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday #myreasonswhy
Today is a Statutory holiday in Ontario called Family Day. It is also celebrated in several other Provinces throughout Canada as well, but not all. It only became a holiday here in Ontario in 2008 but has been recognized in Alberta since 1990 and is a basic reminder to everyone to make time to spend with your family and to reflect on the importance of family values.
The definition of what a family is can be quite complicated and debated. There is no right or wrong answer as to how you define family and it’s more about what you make of it or what works for you. Family is not always 2 people who are related by blood or through marriage.
My definition of family has changed a lot, especially over the last 6 years of my illness. I have learned so much about myself and others and what I want and don’t need most of all in my life to help me thrive and evolve.
Family to me is anyone who loves you unconditionally and supports you even when it’s not always so easy. Family means accepting one another; flaws and all, helping each other to flourish and grow, celebrating victories, wiping away tears and making one another laugh through those tears.
But not everyone is as blessed to have people in their lives (blood related or not) who define family which is why today is such an important reminder to show kindness to everyone you meet because no matter how you define family we all deserve to matter.
How do you define family?
#family #friendship #familyday #values #youareenough #kindness #youmatter #familymatters #youarenotalone #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #blessings #love #myreasonswhy #myheart
Twenty five years ago (give or take) I received a gift which I have held onto all these years later. It was a book called “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten”, written by Robert Fulghum. When I was given the book I was just beginning a new career path (one of many regrets I have) and I was also a newlywed (25 years this spring!) and the book was a perfect celebration of both events even if at the time I didn’t know just how significant this book would truly be to my life.
As a child we are taught very simple yet very valuable rules but by the time we become an adult we often think we know better and seem to forget the importance of these rules somewhere along the way. But these rules continue to follow us along our journey well into adulthood and in one way or another they will be tested and they will be a constant reminder to us through our failures, our tribulations, our practices and even through our triumphs and successes.
If only we continued to embrace the world around us as we once did in Kindergarten with optimism, adventure and like there ain’t nothing that’s gonna stand in the way of our dreams then maybe by the time we reach adulthood we could appreciate or be bold enough to practice some, if not all of Fulghum’s very important lessons he mentions in his book starting with learning to live our best life by ensuring we create a well balanced life. That means we need to “learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.”
I know I feel like I lost my way sometime after I reached adulthood and I would give just about anything right now to be able to live a well balanced life by adhering to the same simple rules for which we teach our children to in Kindergarten. For far too long now I have been playing an adult version of Hide-and-Seek which Fulghum describes as “Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found.” A perfect metaphor for where I am in my life and that maybe, had I learned back in Kindergarten that it was okay to colour outside of the lines or that it was okay to colour the sky pink or the grass purple I may have been better prepared for what lay ahead. But for now I am slowly learning to embrace a life where “warm cookies and cold milk are good for you” and that taking a nap is all part of good mental health.
No-one can really know for sure what their future holds but this book can encourage us and teach us that no matter what we do or where we end up in our life we must hold on tight to our creativity, we must be open to exploring new boundaries, we must grasp our arms tightly around our imperfections and we must remember how important it is to step outside of our comfort zone in order to live a well balanced life. And we must also never forget that we are not alone and that “when you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together!”
***Read the book if you haven’t already and read it again if you already have!
#allineedtoknowilearnedinkindergarten #robertfulghum #kindergartenoneohone #kindergarten #children #innocence #goodmentalhealth #wellbalancedlife #colouring #outsidethelines #embraceeachother #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #youarenotalone
I hope you can tell from the picture (it’s a glass frame so you may have to zoom in to get the full effect) that the central focus inside the frame is a semicolon with positive affirmations encompassing it. The semicolon has been a huge part of my story for several years now and I have shown my support to the Project Semicolon Movement for close to 4 years now. For those of you who don’t know, Project Semicolon is a “nonprofit organization known for its advocacy of mental health wellness and its focus as an anti-suicide initiative. Founded in 2013, the movement’s aim is presenting hope and love to those who are struggling with depression,suicide, addiction, and self-injury. They are known for encouraging people to tattoo the punctuation mark semicolon (;) as a form of solidarity between people dealing with mental illness or the death of someone from suicide”, which is what I did in July 2016 (see photo).
I’ve been struggling a lot over the past week and I figured I could use some inspiration today so I made it a “crafty” kind of day. It’s ok to not be ok, it’s ok to talk about the hard days and it’s more than ok to tell someone you’re struggling because we all deserve to feel hope, we all deserve to feel worthy and we all deserve to feel like our story isn’t over yet;
You see, a semicolon is not just any ole punctuation mark that an author would use to end a sentence, it instead indicates a brief pause, and for me that brief pause is a symbol of my life and the need to catch my breath in order to continue the rest of my story. We are all authors to our own stories and it’s ok if you need to take a pause between sentences.
#selfcare #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #semicolon #projectsemicolon #youareenough #breathe #pause #keepgoing #youmatter #crafts #yourstoryisntoveryet #tattoo #chai #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #advocate #blogger #author #wheredidmommyssmilego #amazondotca
Today I’m having a particularly hard day. I can’t say that there’s been one thing in particular that has made the start of the new week so hard for me but often when someone is suffering with Depression and Anxiety there doesn’t have to be a good reason, it just is. I probably experienced every negative emotion known to mankind before noon-time today and cried at least three times before then as well.
I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it past noon today with so many overwhelmingly negative and unwanted thoughts going on inside my head causing me a great amount of fear, guilt, anger and sadness to erupt all at once so I sure as hell was grateful that I had an appointment already scheduled to see my therapist this afternoon.
Over the course of my illness there has been one constant in my journey and that is therapy. It has not always been good therapy and some of it has left me shaking my head in shock and anger and some has just been downright awful but through a lot of trial and error I finally found the perfect balance for me a couple of years ago and my lifesaver. I’m not ashamed to tell people I go to therapy (well that’s probably quite obvious by now seeing as I divulge every intimate thought and feeling to you!) and it makes me feel sad when some people are reluctant to see a Therapist or make excuses as to why they can’t see one because whether it’s going to see a Therapist, a Counsellor, a Life Coach, a Social Worker, a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist when you are feeling overwhelmed or sad should be just as normal as going to see your Doctor when you have the flu!
I know that therapy can be very expensive if not covered by OHIP (in Canada) or an insurance plan (if you even have one) and we all know that there can be long wait lists for OHIP covered Therapists and Doctors however there are still plenty of places to start if you need help right away including Distress and Crisis Helplines and Hospital ER’s. I have found myself in many Emergency Rooms, too many times now that I’ve stopped counting, but during several of those visits I have been given access to free community-based group and individual programs and sometimes I was also placed in one on one care with a Counsellor who work with outpatients.
It’s not always easy to talk to a loved one or confidant about what you are feeling and very often when a situation is bigger than you then you may need an outsider to listen to you who can advise you from a non-judgmental place and with an unbiased perspective. A therapist et al can help to validate your experience and not make you and your problems feel unworthy while being in a safe place to process your thoughts. They will give you different tools for working through difficult situations, allowing room for your personal growth, teach you coping skills, give you insight and model for you what healthy boundaries and healthy relationships should be and sometimes just being able to say things out loud can help you understand your thoughts and feelings in a whole new way.
Until 5 years and 10 months ago I had never been to a Therapist; I never felt that I needed to but now I look at therapy or life-coaching from a totally different lens and I truly believe that at some point or another in every person’s life that seeking the guidance of a professional for a little extra emotional support could really help keep us balanced. We all go through ups and downs in our lifetime and we could all use some tweaking from time to time and there ain’t no shame in that! Oh and by the way, no matter how hard today has been for me I did not smoke!!
If you or someone you know needs immediate help start here or go to your closest emergency room:
Toronto Distress Centres- 416-408-HELP(4357)
Gerstein Centre- 416-929-5200
Kids Help Phone- 1-800-668-6868
Please continue to follow my journey at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com
#Smokefree #twentydays #hardday #helpline #distresscentres #therapy #therapyiscool #itsoktonotbeok #itsoktoaskforhelp #startaconversation #youareenough #noshame #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #mentalillness #selfcare #mentalwellness #masksoff #depression #anxiety #dontsufferinsilence
This piece I wrote 4 years ago (link below) is still one of my favorite and most meaningful pieces I’ve ever written (before I started my blog). It showed up yesterday in my memory wall on Facebook and I felt like sharing it again with you.
Being a hockey (goalie) mom has been one of the greatest titles I’ve ever held. It’s been a few years since I’ve actually seen Jacob play as he’s now in an adult league and it seems shunned upon to have your mommy in the stands cheering you on (especially a neurotic goalie’s mom!) but at least I have the most amazing memories to hold on to. I rarely ever missed a game even during his last few years, I was there to cheer him on; nothing would keep me out of the stands (or behind the glass), not even when I was on a day or weekend pass from a hospital stay!
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1103638849670600&id=100000734852540
#hockey #goaliemom #missinghockey #mvp #allstar #champion #memories #family #friendship #sports #goodoledays #gthl #minorleaguehockey #wheredidthetimego
I don’t remember the last time all 5 of us (and Maggie) just hung out together all evening watching tv, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. We, like the rest of the world are a little sad tonight. Life can change in an instant. Hold your loved ones a little closer tonight. #grammys #ripkobe #ripgigi #youareenough #family #makingmemories #familymatters
Sold my first book across “The Pond” today! We may be complete strangers and seem worlds apart from one another but we have a bond that is bigger and stronger than any Mountain or Sea that separates us. Mental illness affects us all! Mental illness does not discriminate!
#feelinggrateful #startaconversation #talktoyourkids #dontsufferinsilence #itsoktonotbeok #masksoff #youarenotalone #youareenough #wheredidmommyssmilego #childrensbook #author #depression #family #children #uk #scotland #amazondotca
PRINCE HARRY: BECOMING HIS TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF
I saw a quote recently which has really stuck in my head ever since. It read: “The best weight you will ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.” I know that it’s difficult for most of us to not care what other people think or feel about us but I also know that it can take a toll on our mental health and wellness too. We as human beings instinctively want to be accepted and need to feel desired by others but by allowing their opinions to matter more than your own intuitions is essentially giving away all your power to become your true authentic self.
By always looking for the approval of others instead of trusting your own judgment will without a doubt lead you down a path in which you will one day wake up and find that you have become a shell of yourself because you were always trying to be a “People Pleaser” and had lost the power to be your true authentic self amidst the need to please others.
This week Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle sent an important message out into the universe (through Social Media of course). Ok so maybe they went about it in the wrong way according to the Royal Family and of course all the trashy Tabloid Magazines but I read their message through an entirely different lens; a Mental Health one that is.
Prince Harry has been very open about his struggles with Mental Illness and is a huge advocate and philanthropist for Mental Health. We have watched him grow up in the public eye and although he was born into Royalty, it has seemed as though for many years now (long before Meghan ever entered the picture) that Buckingham Palace may not have been the home he would have chosen for himself.
Maybe he had no choice but to obey the opinions of others for so long, knowing just how powerful his family was but now that Prince Harry (not sure how much longer we can call him that!) is married with his own child to love and protect he has recognized that the opinions of others have weighed him down far too long and he is ready to take his power back (well sadly he never had his own power) in order to discover his true authentic self.
I say kudos to him for bravely stepping away from the comfort he has known his entire life and being able to finally say “I Choose Me”, and whatever path this journey takes them from here on in, I know that it will be one of true authenticity and growth which are both key to good Mental Health and Wellness.
FYI: Baby Archie has spent the last week right here in Toronto with Meghan’s best friends Ben and Jessica Mulroney if anyone cares to get a sighting of the Royal baby!
Please continue to follow my journey at https://youareenough712.wordpress.com
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.
REFLECTION OF A DECADE
It’s crazy to think about it but we are not only about to enter a whole new year but an entire new decade as well. It’s kinda difficult right now for me to reflect back on the last decade with joy in my heart because for more than half of the last ten years I have spent it trying to survive and well truth be told, trying to die.
I do know though that somewhere buried beneath my illness that my heart has felt a lot of pride and joy throughout the last decade from so many amazing highlights and milestones. In the past ten years we added a new addition to our family and Maggie has since filled our family with so much joy for close to nine years now. In the past ten years I’ve gotten to witness both Elementary and High School graduations galore (with one more to go in the new year!) and I have also watched all three of my children transition from pre-teens to teens and now into young adulthood as well. In the past ten years I got to plan and execute one of the greatest days of our lives with the celebration and milestone of Jacob and Hannah’s B’nai Mitzvah; a night which we were so blessed to be surrounded by so many of our loved ones. In the past ten years we have also acknowledged and celebrated many more milestone birthdays as well including the most incredible family vacation in honour of Rachel’s 13th birthday. And I will never forget nearly ten years ago being able to experience the look on my kid’s faces when we walked through the gates of Disney World all together as a family!
Those are only a handful of the incredible highlights and milestones from the last ten years and there have been countless more but as I mentioned above it’s kinda difficult for me to feel the joy in my heart through the shattered glass of my illness when more than half of this current decade has been spent just trying to get through each day; basically I live each day in survival mode where the end goal is trying to avoid having a bad day.
I never want to erase the incredible memories I’ve made during the last ten years and I certainly never want to forget the many successes either so as I enter into the next year and decade I will take with me what I have learned over this past year in order to make room for joy in my heart. I have learned so much about myself this past year alone and one of my greatest successes this year was being able to accept that if some days all I can do is survive, then that’s one step closer to joy. We all deserve to feel joy in our hearts and maybe I needed this past decade to teach me how.
Wishing you all good health, joy and much success for 2020!
Please continue to follow my journey into the next decade at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com
YouAreEnough 
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