Author: Kim Fluxgold

Wife, mom of 3 beautiful children, dog lover, creative sole and children's book Author. Sharing my journey with depression and anxiety through blogging in hopes of educating and ending the stigma.

Happy 24th birthday Hannah Banana!

There’s so much about you that I love.

You are funny, smart, loving, kind, and have a heart of gold.

Keep shining your beautiful spirit around and never ever stop being you!

May your special day be filled with love, joy, warm wishes, and, of course, cake!

We love you to the moon and back, forever and a day!

#happybirthday #twentyfour #birthdaygirl #middlechild #kindhearted #beautiful #warmwishes #cake #heartofgold #hannahbanana #youareenough #loveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday

5,4,3,2,1

Today has been a particularly difficult day for me as I continue to try and contend with several personal things going on in my life right now. 


My anxiety was next level today at work. I couldn’t focus. I just wanted to run.


Often a person’s first reaction when dealing with anxiety in a public or social setting is to run. But I know from experience that if we run from our anxiety we may find ourselves unable to return to a place that may have caused it and slowly we begin to fear leaving our home altogether. 


Today while in the midst of a severe anxiety attack at work, I began practicing some breathing and grounding techniques. 


These techniques are essential and I didn’t care that I was at my place of work with others nearby, it was imperative in the moment and it is imperative that we learn to build up a tolerance for discomfort.


Try this next time you find yourself ready to run from your anxiety in a public or social setting. 


Stop in your tracks instead. 


Look around for 5 things you See.

Find 4 things you Touch.

Listen for 3 things you can Hear.

2 things you can Smell.


And…1 thing you can taste.


It can literally be anything. Use your imagination and your senses to redirect your focus and be present in the moment. Don’t run. Give yourself a chance to see, hear, touch, smell and taste the victory next time.


And remember you are ok…and safe.


#anxiety #dontrun #selfcare #youarenotalone #lookaround #seeheartouchsmelltaste #fivesenses #headspace #breathe #fivefourthreetwoone #breathingtechniques #youaresafe #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #useyourimagination #youareenough #selfcareawarenessmonth #suicidepreventionmonth #grounding

World Suicide Prevention Day; Creating Hope Through Action

Today is September 10th, 2023. 

Today is also “World Suicide Prevention Day”

Today I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day but I just couldn’t quiet the guilt or intrusive and racing thoughts which quickly led to an eruption of emotions, including lots of tears.

So I pushed myself to get up and go for a hike today because I knew it was the one thing that would help quiet the guilt, anxiety and intrusive thoughts. But had I chosen instead to stay in bed all day, that would’ve been perfectly okay too.

This is me. I struggle every. single. day of my life with “treatment resistant Depression”, severe anxiety, panic attacks and both active and passive thoughts of suicide, but I refuse to allow anyone to ever make me feel ashamed for having a mental illness and I will keep doing all that I can to continue spreading awareness and “Creating Hope Through Action” (this year’s World Suicide Prevention Day theme). Since I began sharing my mental health journey so openly some 6 years ago, I have made myself a promise to never stop sharing my story, to never stop educating those who are willing to listen, to never stop helping others understand how it feels to live with a mental illness; to feel broken, ashamed, hopeless or suicidal and I have made myself a promise that no one ever feel alone in their own struggle because no matter what, you are worthy and it’s okay to ask for help. 

So go ahead and reach out to someone in your life today (even those who smile and laugh the most) and let them know that no matter what they are going through right now that you love them, you are there for them (even to just sit with them in silence) and that they are enough.

Opening up conversations about mental health and suicide saves lives; Every. Single. Day.

#worldsuicidepreventionday #selfcare #youarenotalone #youareenough #selfcare #everysingleday #startaconversation #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #summerofrich #hiking #clarity #nature #itsoktoaskforhelp #itsoktonotbeok #selfcaresunday #nationalselfcaremonth #nationalsuicideawarenessmonth 

#TBT; Family

My cousin Jill, who lives in Florida, found this keepsake the other day and shared it with me.

The picture was taken close to 30 years ago (my wedding weekend), which was quite possibly the last time me, my brother and all the cousins were together, our grandparents included; both of whom passed away in 2003.

I miss them.

Although the picture made me quite emotional when I first saw it, the nostalgia of it inspired many positive emotions too, taking me back to a place of real contentment.

It also brought me great comfort of very loving and cherished memories.

Pictures tell a story, and this picture, in particular, tells a tale of family; all of whom, no matter the distance, I love and adore dearly.

#family #bonds #familymatters #grandparents #cousins #brothersandsisters #cherishedmemories #contentment #comfort #keepsakes #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #emotions #nostalgia

Sept 6, 2023: National Read A Book Day

Today is “National Read a Book Day”. 

There are so many amazing benefits to reading books. 

Books help improve a person’s concentration and focus. 

Books enrich a person’s vocabulary, language and writing skills. 

Books introduce you to a world of make believe and fantasy. 

Books exercise your brain. 

Books increase your ability to empathize with others. 

Books provide you with knowledge and information. 

Books inspire. 

Books can entertain, help you to relax, reduce stress and even sleep. 

Books give a person the opportunity to reflect and open up important conversations. 

Books can even help prevent cognitive decline. 

I have not been in a good headspace the last while. I have lost my ability to focus or concentrate on much of anything lately, reading included. 

Tonight in honour of “National Read a Book Day”, I took a few minutes after dinner to lay down and read my most prized book of all. The one that inspires me every day.

What kind of books do you like to read?

#nationalreadabookday #wheredidmommyssmilego #author #writer #blogger #benefitsofreading #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #books #inspire #reflection 

Repost: A NEW SCHOOL YEAR; LET’S KILL IT WITH KINDNESS *Please read to the end*


I wrote this article a few years ago and wanted to reshare it again today as millions of young people prepare to head back to the classroom tomorrow (in Ontario), and for the millions more who already have in other parts of Canada and the world over the last several weeks. 

*I’ve added to and amended some parts.

We all remember that first day back to school every year after your summer vacation came to an abrupt end and the reality set in that it went by way too fast. Whether it was your first day of kindergarten or your first day of grade 6 or maybe it was your final year of high school or even your first day of post-graduate school, each year brought with it a new set of challenges as your identity was about to change yet again. You remember your parents beaming with pride and excitement as they snapped photos of you and your siblings to mark this current milestone in your life while humming happy tunes in their head (or maybe even out loud), but inside they may have also been fighting back tears or their hearts may have been overcome with some apprehension and worry.

The first day back to school is like a new beginning, a fresh start or maybe even a do-over for so many adolescents, teenagers and young adults alike and it really is no different today for all of us who have since become parents ourselves as it was for the generations before us some 30 or 40 years ago; or is it? We still beam with the same pride and excitement as our parents once did as we eagerly snap photos of our kids on their first day of kindergarten or while boarding the bus to their new middle school for the first time or even as they prepare to leave the nest for the first time to enter a University 100’s of kilometers (or miles) away, but what is most obviously different today is that technology and Social Media have allowed us to share these intimate and very personal moments with the rest of the world, all in real-time. We get to see your kid’s smiling faces and we even get to feel your raw emotions too but what we don’t often see is what lies beneath the surface in these photos of so many adolescents, teenagers and young adults today.

It is no secret that our adolescents, teenagers and young adults today are experiencing many more struggles and issues in regards to their mental wellbeing than ever before. It is widespread, universal and prevalent in every age group that I have mentioned above. Statistics have proven that technology and Social Media have magnified their struggles at an alarming rate and evidence shows that their constant consumption of these platforms is affecting how they learn, sleep, communicate and even show kindness.

Struggles with anxiety, depression, bullying, loneliness, eating disorders and peer pressure are leading to more and more suicides among adolescents, teenagers and young adults than ever before. Those first day of school photos now for many, the ones we get to see, the ones with the big smiles on their faces can oftentimes be concealing a very scared and vulnerable adolescent, teenager or young adult as they hide behind the safety of their cell phones and Social Media platforms.

I will be the first to admit that I truly have quite a limited amount of knowledge as to what really goes on in my young adult’s lives outside of what they let me see on their (open) Social Media platforms or what they communicate to me in person and I know I’m not alone and it’s very scary. You can believe that you are always one step ahead of them, but the reality is we will never be no matter what measures or controls we put into place. You may be the fricken mother of the year, or the most hands on dad in all the world but still those first day of school photos may be camouflaging a much bigger picture of what is going on.

The best we can do in this new and ever changing world we live in today is to encourage our adolescents, teenagers and young adults to talk to us when something is wrong before it’s too late or let them know that even if they have made a mistake that we are there for them no matter what and that it is just as important for them to be aware that if they see something or hear something that makes them uncomfortable or vulnerable that it’s more than okay to let a trusting adult know.

Oh and let’s not forget that kindness goes a very long way in ensuring those same adolescents, teenagers and young adults start this new school year off with the best damn back to school photo ever as they embark on a new beginning, a fresh start or maybe even their do-over year. As this new school year begins, let’s all change the conversation with our kids. Instead of asking them the generic question, “how was school today?” upon their arrival home or through a text message or FaceTime, ensure instead that they checked up on their friends, not put them down; brightened someone’s day with a kind word, not judged them; smiled at the awkward kid, not looked away. Remind your child that it only takes a second to say hi to another child as they scurry on by to their next class or encourage them to be the one who goes the extra mile by inviting the child playing alone at recess to join them and their friends on the playground for a game of soccer. 

Ask your child how they can make someone else’s day better? 

Let’s all teach our children to do the right thing because it’s the little things in life that truly matter and it may even have the potential to turn someone’s life around. Together let’s all learn to kill this new school year ahead with kindness.

#backtoschool #nationalselfcaremonth #nationalsuicideawarenessmonth #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #ouryouthmatter #kindnessisfree #anewschoolyear #laborday #longweekend #youarenotalone #youareenough #killitwithkindness #includenotexclude #bekind 

Can’t Take it Anymore

I feel like I’m in way over my head in pretty much every aspect of my life right now, some parts more than others.


I’m exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel.


I’m running on empty.


I’m desperately craving peace and rejuvenation.


It’s all just becoming too much and I really can’t take it anymore. 


September is Suicide Awareness month. 

September is National Self-Care Awareness month. 

September I will be focused on the importance of both self-care and suicide awareness starting with today, enjoying the afternoon with friends on their boat, possibly the last one of the season for us. It’s always a great space for me to practice self-care and distract my over-active mind. 

A gentle reminder to anyone else who needs to hear this today. Self-care is not selfish, asking for help is courageous; you are not alone and guess what; it’s more than okay to not be okay some days.

P.S. for a bit of humour I couldn’t resist taking the pic attached from the back of a nearby boater’s boat.

Wishing everyone a happy and safe Labour Day long weekend. 

#rejuvenation #mentalhealth #nationalselfcaremonth #nationalsuicideawarenessmonth #youarenotalone #canttakeitanymore #selfcare #runningonempty #youmatter #inovermyhead #youareenough #summerofrich #labourdayweekend 


Fresh Set of Eyes

I’ve worn eyeglasses since I was in the 8th grade. At the time it was mostly so I could see the blackboard at school. 

Over the years and with the natural progression of age, I’ve seen many normal changes occur to my vision, especially my night vision.

But, (and there’s always a “but” these days) since participating in the clinical research study last year that resulted in numerous neurological issues throughout my body, my vision became affected too. 

I’ve been so overwhelmed over the last 17 months trying to fix my body as a whole, an approach which has left me feeling beyond defeated lately as my symptoms continue to escalate; and in more recent weeks, with the onset of several new ones. I’ve pretty much given up on any hope that the broken circuit in my brain will eventually just repair itself, so instead, my new approach of late has been trying to tackle each individual issue separately. 

My eyes being one of them.

It’s exhausting. 

I hadn’t had my eyes checked in some time.

I went to see a new doctor this time so she didn’t have any of my lengthy medical history on file. After giving her a brief synopsis of it and a quick overview of the clinical study I did last year that has since left my eyes very blurry, causing debilitating disruptions throughout my day, feelings of double vision and struggling to focus on many daily tasks; even while wearing glasses. 

The doctor was extremely patient and kind throughout the entire exam. She listened with intent and asked lots of questions.

She also recommended I start a new vitamin regime and use eye drops when needed to help alleviate some of my symptoms. 

As I continue on my journey, my very tiresome journey, now tackling each individual issue one by one, I will do so with only the best of intentions in mind, to seek out “a fresh pair of eyes” at every turn. 

#afreshsetofeyes #eyedoctor #clinicaltrial #Psilocybin #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #newglasses #eyedrops #vitamins #askforhelp #youareenough #bestofintentions #thinklikeamonk #selfcare