“The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.”~Mark Twain


I’ve spent a lot of time on self-reflection over the past many days.  


Birthdays have a way of doing that. 


Birthdays mark the passage of time and give us an opportunity to reflect on our journey.


Nostalgia and childhood experiences have provided me with valuable insight into both my personal growth and resilience which have also helped me to gain more clarity this past year as to some necessary changes I need to make for my overall well-being. I am learning to accept that it’s ok to let go of the things I can not change too.


Over the past many days, I have also taken the time to recall some of my most cherished moments of the past year, including what has made them so memorable. 


Self-reflection is both enlightening and, at times, disheartening, too. 


Birthdays are about more than just cake and presents. It’s a time for connection and expressing gratitude. It’s an opportunity to take pause and embrace the moments of joy, healing, and change in order to move forward, too. 


A friend messaged me last night after watching the video I posted of my birthday hike on Sunday. Something stood out to her from that video that she wanted to share with me. It was the snake of all things. 


She saw great significance in seeing the snake slithering across my path. 


Snakes appear as a source of life and are a sign of transformation and spiritual growth.They are also a reminder to stay grounded as you move through changes. 


As I continue to reflect and look toward the year ahead, I will take the snake with me as a sign that maybe it crossed my path for a reason, even if at first sight, it scared the living crap out of me, and Rich, too. As I began to calm down, though, I got down on the ground to try and capture the wonderment of the snake slithering by me. It suddenly didn’t feel so scary anymore. Although growth and change can seem scary at times, it can also nudge us out of our comfort zone and bring about opportunities to evolve and discover ones own sense of self.


#selfreflection #mentalhealth #wellbeing #discovery #birthdays #snakes #meaning #ownself #spiritual #personalgrowth #nostalgia #childhood #resilience #change #comfortzone #cherishedmemories #connection #gratitude #healing #transformation 

“There will always be someone, somewhere who was happy you were born.” ~ Quote from the Movie “See You on Venus”

Today, I turned 53.

I am staring at a blank page before me as I open up this next chapter on my journey.

Birthdays have become quite overwhelming for me in the last 10 years. Age has never really factored in, though.

In the days leading up to my birthday, I always give myself permission to sit with my sadness, to reflect, and to try and process the deeper meaning behind my emotions.

I remind myself that it’s okay to feel these emotions. Being aware of my emotions allows me to approach them with self-compassion and vulnerability.

The best way I knew how to celebrate “ME” today was to put a plan in place ahead of time in order to help lessen the intensity of my sadness and anxiety.

I knew that connecting with nature, hiking, and chasing waterfalls would never disappoint. And I was right. Even getting rained on during the second leg of our hike only made our adventure that much more AWEsome. The sound of the raindrops and the fresh scent of rain felt really soothing. And it was a great way to cool off, too!

I wasn’t gonna let anyone or anything rain on my parade today.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/P7nbvZ7YoimVaYt8/?mibextid=oFDknk

#itsmybirthday #birthdaywishes #summerofrichandkim #ichooseme #mentalhealth #emotions #sadness #anxiety #hiking #waterfalls #nature #happybirthdaytome #celebrate #momentsofjoy #connection #youareenough #unwritten #feeltherainonyourskin @natashabedingfield

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For anyone who has ever found themselves feeling alone while trying to navigate their way through a mental health crisis or are currently seeking support or refuge from their beloved child’s battle with a mental illness; do yourself a favour and grab a copy of Kristina Kuzmic’s new book “I Can Fix This” ~ and other lies I told myself while parenting my struggling child ~. 


I couldn’t put it down. 


I have been following Kristina’s inspiring journey for several years now. I read her first book, “Hold on, But Don’t Hold Still” during Covid and continue to follow her daily vlogs for inspiration and hope. I’m one of her biggest fans.


With her son Luka’s permission and insight, Kristina knew she needed to share her family’s “heart-wrenching and ultimately hope-filled journey” with the world. A journey, that while in the throes of it, and with only the best of intentions in mind, led her down a path filled with fear and desperation when she unexpectedly found herself trying to “fix” her teenage son’s struggles with depression, suicidal ideations, self-harm and substance abuse. 


Her vulnerabilty, anguish and humility (and humour) throughout the book is a reminder that although we may not be able to “fix” others, we can sure as heck keep showing up for them in whatever capacity they need, especially our own children. Sometimes, the best way to show up for someone is just by sitting beside them in silence.


I have always had a fixer mindset. I often feel a sense of responsibility to “fix” others, even though I can’t seem to “fix” myself. 


I am an overwhelmingly empathetic person who easily takes on the emotions of others. Oftentimes, though, it comes at the cost of my own mental and physical wellbeing. I put a lot of undue pressure on myself to try and “fix” everyone else.


I think it has become a way for me to feel in control or to try and cope with my own fears and helplessness. 


I know this is an unrealistic mindset. Maybe I can blame Bob the Builder who made me believe all those years ago that I can “fix” anything. 


Thank you Kristina and Luka for sharing your most intimate recollection during your most vulnerable and darkest days, and for reminding us that by showing up day after day, year after year for our most treasured gems is the most rewarding and valuable way to “fix” another human being. 


#empathy #parenthood #icanfixthis #fixermindset #mentalhealth #wellbeing #depression #suicidalideations #selfharm #addiction #youarenotalone #youareenough

With overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and intrusive thoughts lurking around every corner this past week, my therapist gently reminded me the other day that I need to choose me and put down the heavy burdens I’m carrying right now. 

Some days feel way heavier than others.

I wear other people’s emotions like a glove. I totally acknowledge that I tend to pick up everything around me as though it’s a brick. 

Life has handed me a ton of bricks over the last many years, most of which I can not control. 

This week, those bricks tried to bury me.

So this weekend, I choose me. 

Choosing to let go of all the bricks that are weighing me down. 

As best I know how. 

With the tools I have been given. 

And maybe just for a moment, those bricks will start to feel lighter, like a feather.

Dare to dream. 

#ichooseme #lightasafeather #mentalhealth #burdens #heaviness #tonofbricks #selfcare #wellness #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough #youareworthy 

For anyone who needs to hear this today (I for one do)…the next time you are feeling lost or inadequate, remember that you don’t need to be perfect or have all the answers. 


You are doing amazing, even on the days that feel unmanageable or near impossible.


I know so many of you are really struggling right now, whether it be emotionally, physically, financially, etc. 


Just know that you never have to walk alone. 


Our minds can play silly tricks on us sometimes, making us believe otherwise, though, like we are the only ones going through a difficult journey.


Just know that isn’t true.


Someone else may not know the extent to your pain or suffering, but we all experience it at one time or another.


We all know what it feels like to hurt.


Just know that you never have to walk it alone.


If you are struggling right now, please reach out to someone. I’m here if you need a listening ear. 


Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is just knowing they are there for you, not trying to fix anything or give you advice, just simply listening and reminding you that you never have to walk alone. 


#youneverhavetowalkalone #listeningear #greatestgift #mentalhealth #wellness #youarenotalone #youareenough #mondaymotivation #itsoktonotbeok #startaconversation 

Yesterday’s #summerofrich adventure was one of our toughest to date, but never once did I think about giving up.

I pushed myself, took breaks when I needed to, and stayed focused the entire time on the beauty, wonderment, and joy that nature brings me.

Having Rich lead the way, always with an outstretched arm just in case, along with his encouraging words and patience, turns every challenge into a memorable adventure.

#nature #hiking #adventure #challenging #mentalhealth #wellness #youareenough #wonderment #beauty #joy #niagaraescarpment #waterfalls

Today is the last day of Mental Health Awareness Month. 

It was a hard month for me. 

I’m the first to admit that I am my own worst enemy, which is why when I heard this quote the other day, it really stuck with me. 

“You’re not healing to be able to handle trauma. You’re used to trauma. You’re healing to be able to handle joy.”~ unknown

My emotions are running very deep right now, and I am feeling completely powerless over every aspect of my life. 

I realize that I spend so much time self-sabotaging my joy. It’s something I excel in. 

I feel like I am never good enough or deserving of happiness and that I am unworthy of success. 

Joy is the hardest emotion to embrace when you’re so used to the trauma, and to be honest, dealing with the trauma often feels easier than the moments of joy. 

It feels familiar. 

It resists change. 

I’ve missed out on lots over the past 10 years, having spent so long in survival mode trying to heal.

But I know that with change comes some risks too.

I know it’s worth the risk to open myself up to joy as I continue to unlearn the trauma.

Here is my moment of joy for me today. A long overdue haircut!

Shabbat Shalom. Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend, and as we head into a new month tomorrow, may it be filled with plenty of moments of peace, light, and joy.

Remember, you are not alone. 

#joy #trauma #mentalhealth #selfsabotaging #mentalwellness #youareenough #youareworthy #youarenotalone #haircut #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #momentsofjoy #myownworstenemy #survivalmode

*some content is not my own*

I’m at my breaking point today. I am mentally and emotionally spent right now. I know that so much of what has led me to my breaking point is beyond my control, yet somehow I’ve allowed it to drain every bit of energy I have left in me. Today, I have shed many tears, and my negative self-talk feels like it’s winning. 


Have you heard of the “Let Them” theory yet? It is a theory that went viral by New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, and my favourite Podcaster, Mel Robbins. 


The ‘Let Them’ theory is extremely valuable, because it allows us to let go of the burden of responsibility of things outside of our control,” says CCPA-registered psychotherapist and host of the The Inner Child Podcast, Gloria Zhang.


Mel tells her listeners that “instead of getting upset at other people’s actions or trying to control their behavior, just let them do what they’re going to do − and don’t take it personally.” *This does not apply in an abusive situation. 


The truth is, we can not control everything in our surroundings or the opinions, criticisms, drama, conflict, or negative thoughts of others. So the goal here is not to try and change a negative outcome that’s beyond our control but to let go of the expectations, anxiety and resentment that can weigh heavily on our mental health. 


Being at such a breaking point today feels like I am “Letting Them” win. 


I have a really difficult time detaching myself emotionally from situations beyond my control instead of allowing myself to focus on my own well-being and contentment. 


But by trying to put the “Let Them” theory into play, we can actually reclaim our power. We may not be able to completely erase our hurt but I can see how trying to embrace the theory in all aspects of our life, isn’t just “emotionally freeing” – it can also be quite empowering too.


I continue to say that I’m a work in progress, so the next time someone does something that I may not particularly agree with or something that affects me greatly, I am going to start by applying the “Let Them” theory. Perhaps placing sticky notes throughout my home, at work, and in my car with the words, “Let Them” on it is a great daily reminder and affirmation.


I won’t let them steal my joy, my light, my peace. I am in control of that, and so are you. 


Let them be upset.

Let them judge you.

Let them misunderstand you. 

Let them gossip about you,

Let them ignore you.

Let them be “right.”

Let them doubt you.

Let them not like you.

Let them not speak to you.

Let them not invite you. 

Let them leave you.

Let them choose someone else.


If they don’t want to support you…let them.


“Kindly step aside and LET THEM”.


“Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.”


Let them go.


The end. 


“Perhaps my next tattoo?*


#letthemtheory #melrobbins #mentalhealth #letthemgo #workinprogress #breakingpoint #wellbeing #empowerment #peace #light #joy #suicidalideations #mentalhealthawarenessmonth 

Today we celebrate our 29th wedding Anniversary 💖 


“A good marriage is when both partners secretly think they got the better deal” ~ unknown 


In a world filled with so much uncertainty, you are the one thing that I will always be sure of.


Thank you for choosing me to climb every mountain with and for continuing to hold my hand, always knowing just when to squeeze it a little bit tighter whenever I feel like letting go.


You are my today and all of my tomorrows.


Love you to the moon and back, forever and a day 

Happy Anniversary Rich 🎉 💗 


P.S. Hands down, I know for certain that I got the better end of the deal!


#happyanniversary #summerofrich #twentynineyears #iloveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday #everyoneneedsarich #myfamily  #loveandmarriage #myheart #beloved #mentalhealth #mentalwellness 

Old emotional wounds ebb and flow throughout my soul today.


They feel bigger than me at the moment.


Often, what at first thought may feel like nothing at all can wind up triggering some of the most painful reactions. 


I will not let them own me, though.


Healing is never an easy process.


Forgiveness isn’t either.


It ebbs and flows.


It has many complicated layers.


While mindfully peeling those layers of my emotional wounds away over the last many years though, I have learned to accept that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes after making a right decision. 


I’m done crying over someone or something that doesn’t deserve my tears.


I’ve accepted that I don’t have to give myself away to those who don’t deserve me.


Why should I keep hoping some people will change, but knowing they never will?


When we learn to put ourselves first, sometimes it comes with the risk of losing what we once thought were valued relationships, only to find out when we take a deeper look inside ourselves that our values never truly aligned at all. 


It’s been a risk worth taking and has helped me learn to accept that not all relationships are worth the effort or emotional pain they cause. 


Although I still struggle to heal the emotional wounds of my childhood, some of which may never truly heal at all, therapy has allowed me to see people as they are, and know that it’s ok to place them where they belong.


#healing #complicated #relationshipsworthfightingfor #emotionalwounds #ebbandflow #pain #iamenough #mentalhealth #myjourney #itsoktobesad #childhoodtrauma #familymatters