Author: Kim Fluxgold

We’re kicking off our #summerofrich, “Special Edition”, 30th Anniversary getaway with an early morning start – not to miss out on a single minute over the next four days!

Fun fact I learned earlier this week: green is the traditional colour associated with a 30th wedding anniversary. Honestly, this couldn’t be a more fitting tribute to US.

Green symbolizes nature, and nature, as many of you know, has become one of the most therapeutic and healing components of our journey together. Also, green stands for growth, resilience, longevity, renewal, balance, harmony, and prosperity – all of which have helped define our relationship over the past three decades.

This week will be an intentional blend of all things green as we move from one trail to the next -10 of them in total. 

Each one is a celebration of what our journey has meant to us.

Soaking up every mindful moment, rain or shine.

Every step is a love letter to our shared experiences and the life we’ve built together over 30 years. 

A toast to the road ahead.

Here we come, Tobermory!!! 

Stay tuned for all the highlights 😉 

#getaway #30thanniversary #hiking #nature #Tobermory #mentalhealth #wellness #adventuremode #bucketlist #growth #resilience #renewal #balance #longevity #prosperity #harmony #anxiety #depression #therapeutic #healing #ourjourney #mindful #celebratingus #green 

Love seeing these memories pop up on my Facebook page every year. It’s been 5 years since I created my graduation lawn sign initiative, which helped brighten up the lives of so many young people suffering during such uncertain times and also raise awareness and funds for youth mental health.

These memories are a gentle reminder of how far we’ve come and how much more work there is still left to do.

They also serve as a personal reflection and motivation to keep moving forward. I will always be grateful for the opportunities I was given to share my story, connect with a broader community, and help end the stigma.

You may not always believe it, but your voice does matter. Let’s continue to keep the conversation going.

#endthestigmatogether #ouryouthmatter #graduationlawnsigns #initiative #mentalhealth #community #wellbeing #YourVoiceMatters #grateful #gentlereminder #startaconversation  #opportunitiesforgrowth #itsoktonotbeok #facebookmemories #covid #raiseawareness #motivation #reflection #connection

Today marks 30 years of marriage with the man I chose to walk life’s path with.

In those 30 years, we’ve hiked some pretty rough terrain, crossed many choppy rivers, and braved more than our fair share of storms together; especially over the past decade. 

Through it all, you’ve continued to move mountains for me. You’ve been my compass, my rock, my shelter – my safe place to land whenever I lose my footing. 

You’ve continued to love me through every version of myself, even on the days I forget how to love myself.

Hand in hand, you’ve walked beside me through joy and struggle, through peaks and valleys, in the silence of the woods, atop the most magical summits, and along every unforgettable, breathtaking view. 

You’ve made the toughest climbs a little gentler and the hardest trails worth exploring.

Thank you for choosing me every step of the way.

There’s no one else I’d rather hike through life with than you, and no matter where the path leads us next, I’m so grateful it’s with you.

Happy 30th Anniversary, Rich

My forever and a day – the one who still makes me laugh and reminds me every single day that I am enough. 

Can’t wait for our trip to Tobermory next week to celebrate us!! 

(I even created these silly t-shirts just for the occasion 😛)

“You don’t marry someone you can live with. You marry the one you can’t live without.”~unknown

#30yearsandstillclimbing #foreverandaday #laughter #anniversary #thetoughestclimbs #breathtakingviews #celebrateus #lifesjourney #hiking #happytrails #mentalhealth #wellness #loveofmylife #summerofrich #youareenough

I’m having a much harder time finding ways to move on from my toxic workplace. More than I ever imagined. It’s left deep emotional wounds, and the lingering trauma is overwhelming me. 


Healing from trauma is never linear and often messy.  


Although some may think that I should “just move on,” it is much easier said than done. 


My experiences and lingering trauma from a place where I spent so much of my time under constant stress and being mistreated has left my sense of self-worth and identity in the toilet. 


Someone who has never gone through an experience such as I have often can’t understand that trauma doesn’t follow a timeline, and it is unfair to believe otherwise. There are those who have sat in my shoes before but are not comfortable dealing with unresolved pain, whether it’s their own or not. And that’s okay too.

Yes, I am beyond grateful to have found a better job where everyone is so welcoming, but it can’t erase the emotional damage or the way one’s nervous system still responds to past harm. One doesn’t cancel out the other. 

Better doesn’t mean healed. 

It’s not like there is a switch I can flip on and off overnight. 

I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I just owe myself time.

I’m still trying to make sense of what happened. Being mistreated and chronically stressed out by my former employer for so long has deeply impacted my self-esteem and sense of trust. 

I may not be able to release the pressure to “move on” yet, but I’m doing my best to move through it. 

I am healing at my own pace, and that is enough for now.

#healing #trauma #toxicworkplace #mentalhealth #emotionalwounds #intime #selfworth #selfesteem #selfcare #youareenough 

I may not be a perfect Mom, but I’m totally real.

Besides which, perfection is overrated.

Yet I still struggle with this a lot.

Burdened by the guilt that I’ve let them down.

Taken away a piece of their childhood.

A part of their innocence.

They see me at my worst.

Vulnerable. Defeated. Broken.

My kids don’t have a perfect Mom, no matter how hard I try.

And I do try.

They just have me.

Their loudest cheerleader.

Their strongest advocate.

Their biggest ally.

Kids don’t need a perfect Mom, though.

They just need a real one.

Yet knowing this, I’m still left burdened by the guilt that I’ve let them down.

But they are thriving.

Resilient. 

Decent humans.

Funny, too.

Who continually get back up after they fall.

Love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up again and again. 

And they do.

I do, too. Even on the hard days.

I guess it must be true. Kids don’t need a perfect Mom because despite all my flaws, I must have done something right.

It’s been a busy Mother’s Day so far, and it’s not done yet. It’s included a visit with my brother to see my mom this morning, an obligatory, once a year hike with the kids (missing Rachel who is away at the moment) and dinner with my mother in law. Thank you, Rich, for the beautiful flowers and to my kiddies for the awesome belt bag that will be the perfect edition to all our future #summerofrich hiking adventures. What will make today complete will be celebrating a “W” from the Leafs tonight!

“The stories we tell ourselves are powerful, so be careful what story you’re telling yourself” ~ Kristina Kuzmic

Happy Mother’s Day to all the perfectly imperfect Mamas’  💗 and a special shout out to all the beautiful, loving, selfless, exhausted, courageous, badass, inspiring, hardworking, resilient, caring, kindhearted, humble, broken, capable, confident, bold, fabulous Mamas today and every day . You are amazing.

#HappyMothersDay #cherishthemoments #mythreereasonswhy #makingmemories #family #familymatters #perfectlyimperfect #beingreal #inthemoment #mentalhealth #mentalillness #yourmentalhealthmatters

I did it! My first week at my new job is officially in the books and although there is still a lot of learning ahead, at least I now have a newfound appreciation and a renewed sense of optimism for what a healthy, respectful and supportive work culture feels like.


As part of any healing journey, it is important to acknowledge our past experiences in order to help one move forward. For me, choosing to leave a toxic situation over the prolonged mistreatment of its employees was not just a courageous decision but a very powerful one in its own right. I know, in time, and with lots of continued therapy, I will learn new ways to let go of my pain and trauma and hopefully regain my sense of self-worth.


For now, though, finding some closure has felt like a necessary first step toward reclaiming my peace as I begin to heal. Today, I started that process in the best way I knew how. Through writing.


Writing is a very therapeutic tool for me when it comes to my mental health and well-being so over the last few days as I began to reflect upon my time at my previous workplace, I started to pen a very emotional email to my ex-supervisor and her superior (the co-owner of this 40 year old organization, and the real puppetmaster behind all the toxicity). In it, I recounted many anecdotes and expressed my deep hurt. I sent them the email today with the hope that they would take my feedback seriously and consider the impact their leadership styles have on their team moving forward because whether or not they want to admit it, it matters more than they realize.

Writing it and not holding back felt incredibly cathartic. Whether they choose to respond to me or not, I really don’t care. I did this for me. It was about validating my experience and reclaiming my voice after being stuck in such a dark and vulnerable place that literally tried to silence me by making me feel like s*icide was my only way out. 

I know it takes great strength to speak up, not just for yourself, but for others who’ve been hurt and silenced too. Turning my pain into advocacy and not just walking away is my way of trying to protect those I care deeply for who are still enduring it. If my email disrupts the pattern of abuse still taking place since I left, even just a little, it will have been worth it. My hope is that my truth is creating a space where others can feel seen and understood. I’ve planted the seed for change, and it feels damn empowering. 

Feeling worthy, appreciated, and valued at my new job shouldn’t be the exception. It should be the norm. Something every workplace should provide their employees. 

Sending this email today is helping me to open up space for healing my body and mind and bring with it a sense of balance and personal growth and development moving forward. It’s a beautiful feeling to have found a place where you’re seen for who you are and what you bring. That’s the kind of environment that doesn’t just help you heal. It allows you to thrive, too. It’s something we all deserve. 

Shabbat Shalom, everyone. 

#closure #email #movingforward #mentalhealth #wellbeing #newjob #appreciation #advocacy #healingjourney #courage #toxicworkplace #empowering #trauma #selfworth #balance #growth #reclaimingmypeace #writing #cathartic #therapeutic #reflection #leadership #validation 

Oh man, was I ever exhausted last night after my first day at my new job yesterday. I hadn’t felt this deep an exhaustion sifting through my veins in a very long time. I could barely keep my eyes open from the moment I arrived home. 

Stepping out of a toxic work space into a healthier, more positive environment was no easy feat. I’ve been in survival mode for far too long now, and my body and mind have been in complete chaos due to the toxicity, but then something happened yesterday after I arrived home from work. For the first time in forever, I was able to take in a breath of fresh air and release the emotional burden I’d been carrying. 

I actually left work, at work for the first time in forever. It’s making a lot of sense to me now that my body and mind were responding with extreme fatigue because they’d been in such chaos for so long.

I never realized before yesterday just how draining the feeling of relief could be, but I’m giving myself the grace I know I deserve, to let go in order to rest my body and mind and start to try and rebuild. It’s all part of my healing process, a process I’ve definitely more than earned.

#exhaustion #healing #breathoffreshair #mentalhealth #fatigue #wellbeing #permission #toxicboss #toxicworkplace #letgo #survivalmode #emotionalburden #relief #youareenough

I’m off to start my first day of work at my new job.

New beginnings.

I’m beyond grateful and excited for this opportunity of a fresh start, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit how super anxious and scared I am feeling right now as well.

I know, I know, these feelings I’m having are absolutely normal. 

I also know that I put a lot of undue pressure on myself in all aspects of my life. 

Change can be scary. 

I set unrealistic expectations upon myself, I have a fear of failure, I often doubt my self-worth, and I always worry about disappointing others. 

This, in the world of psychology is better known as “Imposter Syndrome” and “will often show up when you’re stepping into growth”, not because you’re not qualified for the job, but because you simply care deeply and want to do well.

I know in my heart that my new employer chose to hire me for a reason. They saw something in me that stood out to them. I also understand that there will be a learning curve and that mistakes are to be expected.

Failure is all part of success. It’s how you learn and grow from it that truly matters. 

Affirmations I will take with me today:

“I was chosen for this role for a reason. I don’t need to know everything right away. I bring value, I am capable, and I’m here to grow.” ~ unknown 

“What if I fall?” Oh, but darling, what if you fly?”~ Winnie the Pooh

***Update: Thank you so much for the incredible messages of support I received today. They were beyond appreciated. Day 1 is now in the books. How did it go, you ask? Stepping out of a toxic work space into a healthier, more positive environment is no easy feat. I can’t tell you the last time I was able to take in a breath of fresh air after work. It felt truly empowering.


#firstday #change #steppingintogrowth #mindset #newjob #selfdoubt.#mentalhealth #wellbeing #impostersyndrome #newbeginnings #freshstart #fearoffailure #iamworthy #iamcapable  #iamenough #affirmations

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. 


This year’s theme is “In Every Story, There’s Strength.” 


Sharing our stories creates connections and enhances understanding~NAMI 

When we share our personal perspectives, our thoughts and our journeys with others, as I do, we build a bridge of connection, create empathy and understanding, strengthen bonds and help break down barriers for others to feel less alone in their own struggles to hopefully give them the courage to ask for help. 

Sharing my journey out loud and bringing awareness to a cause so dear to my heart has become my greatest passion and purpose in life. Especially for our youth. 

Earlier today, with our continued efforts to support our young people, promote well-being, encourage open conversations about mental health, and with solidarity in mind, Rich and I participated once again in the annual Kids Help Phone “Walk So Kids Can Talk” 5km Walkathon. 

Did you know that 1 in 2 of our youth struggle with their mental health alone, which is why Kids Help Phone has become more important than ever. They average more than 12,000 calls and texts per day across Canada and is a safe, trusted space to allow our youth to “feel out loud”; sometimes, for the first time.


A gentle reminder, “Your mess is your message.”~ Unknown 


“May the 4th” be with you ✨️ 


KIDS HELP PHONE 

PHONE: 1-800-668-6868

TEXT: 686868


#feeloutloud #kidshelpphone #walkathon #walksokidscantalk #bmo #awareness #endthestigmatogether  #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #youarenotalone #ouryouthmatter #youarenotalone #youareenough #connection #empathy #understanding #breakingbarriers 

Today was my last day of work. 


My coworkers showered me with beautiful flowers and a staff lunch. 


I’m finally free!! Yay 🎉


I can finally close the book on what has undeniably been one of the most challenging situations I have ever had to navigate through in my life.


A situation that has haunted me for the better part of two and a half years. 


Now, though, as I begin my healing process, I get to focus on new beginnings and a fresh start. 


I’m choosing me.


But then why am I feeling so incredibly sad today? To be honest, I’ve felt like this for the past few days. 


Why am I grieving the loss of a job that I chose to leave because of unrelenting toxicity, manipulation, gaslighting, shifting blame, feeling inadequate and insecure, all caused by leadership?


I know in my heart I did the right thing by leaving such a hostile work environment. An environment that has left me feeling depleted, trapped, more anxious, more depressed and yes, s*icidal. 


I know in my heart that this was a very courageous and brave first step toward reclaiming my mental and physical health, but it shouldn’t have had to end this way. 


I’m feeling completely blindsided right now by the grief I’m experiencing. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.


The grief of leaving behind a job I truly loved. A job I excelled at, and coworkers who I adored. 


Unpacking my grief feels complicated. I have more questions than answers at the moment. I feel weak for giving up.


I’m trying to be more gentle on myself. I need to keep reminding myself that leaving was not a matter of choice, it was a matter of survival. 


The weekend ahead, I will prioritize my self-care, rest, and doing what I love most, being in nature and focusing on my mental health and advocacy at the Kids Help Phone Walkathon on Sunday. 


My new job starts Monday, and I will be ready. 


Shabbat Shalom, everyone. Take care of you this weekend.


#grieving #toxicworkplace #survival #mentalhealth #wellbeing #newjob #freshstart #newchapter #depression #anxiety #suicideawareness #newbeginnings #freshstart #healingprocess #ichooseme #selfcare