It’s Friday night, Shabbat has arrived, and after a very long, very tiresome couple of weeks, I’m more than happy to just unwind, curl up, and watch a light movie before the weekend begins.
Because once Saturday morning arrives, there really won’t be much time to slow down. It’s jam-packed from Saturday morning until late Sunday night, full of celebrations, friends, traditions, community, familiar faces, and so many reasons to smile.
And yet, if I’m being honest, I’ve been on quite a downward spiral lately.
So tonight, I’m trying to take this quiet moment to reset. To focus on what’s ahead. On the good stuff. On the people and traditions and moments that I know will bring me joy.
But there’s one thing clouding it all, something that probably sounds so small to most people, but feels enormous to me.
Smiling.
Since my accident, smiling is something I’m so incredibly uncomfortable doing. Something that should feel so effortless now takes thought. Sometimes courage. And, if I’m being completely honest, a lot of self-consciousness.
Which feels almost cruelly ironic when the weekend ahead is filled with so many reasons to do exactly that.
So maybe this weekend isn’t about pretending everything is fine, or forcing a smile because I’m supposed to be happy.
Maybe it’s just about showing up.
Being with my people. Holding onto the traditions. Friendships. Community. Allowing myself to laugh. And finding the joy where I can.
And maybe, somewhere in amongst all of it, I’ll get lost in the moment instead of worrying about what my smile looks like.
Here’s to a busy, chaotic, joyful weekend, and to finding a few reasons to smile, even if smiling now feels a little unfamiliar.
And then, when it’s all over, I am grateful to have Monday off.
So I’ll have one whole extra day to recover from the celebrations, the chaos, the late nights, and hopefully, all that smiling.
Shabbat Shalom
