I’ve had to force myself to sit down and do some blogging today because I’ve been totally incapable of doing much of anything this past week or more. I am exhausted and feel completely depleted. There’s a lot going on in my life right now, most of which I just can’t share, but the overwhelm of it all has generated what an author would call “writer’s block”.
Writing has become a big part of my identity over the last couple of years and more recently it’s actually become an important part of my journey. For the most part I find writing to be very therapeutic and fun but right now I am finding that it’s just causing me additional anxiety (if that’s even possible) just thinking about it. I truly love writing but given the dark and lonely place I find myself in lately, my tank is completely on empty, leaving me no motivation to write. I also find my apprehension to discipline myself to blog is creating added feelings of being a failure and of course causing me such f@cking guilt (truth be told it doesn’t take much for me to feel either of these emotions).
I have so much to write about and so much I need to write about but this so called writer’s block (AKA Depression) is making it near impossible right now. I am feeling frustrated and most definitely uninspired. My anxiety has hit an all time high lately which is only causing me to feel even more inadequate and unfocused. I am beyond the norm of overwhelm with all the shit going on in my life and the walls around me feel like they have pretty much caved in. My thoughts and emotions are completely clouded.
Ernest Hemingway was once quoted by saying “Write hard and clear about what hurts” which I truly believe has become my mantra since I began writing my blog over two years ago. Writing should be impactful and needs to come from the heart no matter what the genre. Writing also takes strength and concentration because you and only you are in charge of your own thoughts and emotions. Additionally I find that it helps me to release many of my negative thoughts and hurt right onto a crisp, blank page and all of this combined is not only cathartic and freeing but I believe this is what Hemingway is trying to tell me.
Maybe Hemingway was also trying to channel me earlier this past week when I sat down with a psychic for a few minutes the other day at a Health, Wellness and Spiritual show. I have been wanting, almost to the point of needing to speak with a psychic over the past year so when the opportunity arose I thought why not? Because it was at a show there was only an opportunity for a short, abridged session which I figured I would try first before I commit to a more in depth reading. The psychic knew nothing about me, not even my name but the very first thing he said to me was that I need to “continue writing and being creative” and that it is very important I do so for my well being. Ya it was kinda freaky, and I’m kinda a believer now and may just need to take it one step further. So does anyone know a good psychic?